Disclaimed.

Author's Note: Hello! Yet another ficlet by Rubber Froggie, formerly DeadlyAsFire. :Groans: Damn you writer's block! I get inspritation for new fictions, but can't continue the fictions I've started already. Anyway, my first Het fiction. I'm so happy! No, the pairing isn't any of that SasuSaku, NejiTen, NaruHina, or ShikaIno nonsense. No disrespect to those who like those pairings, but they're WAY too common for my tastes. Excluding NejiTen. I like that pairing.

Summary: As Jiraiya's life fades away, he remembers a memory that lets have his last laugh.

Warnings: Humor, Angst. Spoilers, Death.

Pairing: JiraiyaTsunade.

Note: Based on chapter 382, but spirals off from what actually happens there.

Key:

Current action.

Thoughts.

Flashback.

Musing

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I know your true identity now, Pain!

I've got to tell the Head Sage before it's too late!

Pa Frog yells something to me, which I do not hear. Red blood is dripping out my mouth like a sea.

It's no good, my throat's completely caved in. Fuck, Fuck! I c-- I can't...

I attempt to get up, but the five black blades in my back prevent me from doing so. I collaspe again.

It's no good. I'm passing out. Am I...dying? Have I failed everyone?

The true measure of a shinobi is not how he lives, but how he dies. It's not what they do in life, but what they did before dying that proves their worth. Thinking back on it, my story was one full of failures.

I couldn't save my friend.

I failed to protect my student and teacher.

Tsunade turned me down every time.

Oh, Tsunade...how I loved you so...

I walk down the dirt road, hoping to finally get a chance with the lovely Tsunade. She is standing there, almost like she knew I was going to cross her path. "Tsunade!" I exclaim. She smirks. "Jiraiya."

I decide to get right down to the point. "So...wanna have sex?" I ask with a naughty smile. She gives me the meanest look I've ever seen. Then she gives me one of her legendary superpunches, which sends me about five feet away while screaming, "No Jiraiya, I don't want to have sex with you!"

I chuckle. It is a weak chuckle, but a chuckle nevertheless. "I was certain that his heart had stopped." The Yahiko Pain says to the other Pains. With a small flame, I carve a dying message into Pa Frog's back.

Naruto...Your're the destined child. I know it...The rest is up to you! Never give up...That was the choice I had to make!

And don't stop asking that pink-haired girl out while you're at it. You might actually get some action.

Jiraiya dies.

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Author's Note: Heh, so...how did you like? Wasn't that great, was it? You can flame, since this is my first Het fiction. Happy Holidays!