Title: Danny and the Horrible, Terrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

Author: sockie1000

Summary: Danny is having a bad day. Based on the Children's book.

Betas: Cokie316 and Rogue Tomato

Author's note: Here's some stress relief for your Friday afternoon.

I went to sleep with Hello Kitty polish on my nails and now it's still there and when I got out of bed this morning I tripped over a Barbie Grace had forgotten about and by mistake I dropped my wallet in the sink while the water was running and I could tell it was going to be a horrible, terrible, no good, very bad day.

At breakfast, I was out of coffee and Grace had eaten all my cereal and the milk was sour anyway so I went to Kamekona's truck but he wouldn't give me a breakfast burrito without the Spam because it didn't fit his culinary vision so I had to sit there and pick out the egg and cheese with a stupid little plastic spork.

I think I'll move back to New Jersey.

On the first call of the day Steve started chasing a suspect as fast as the car would go. I said I was sliding around. I said it was hard to hold on. I said if he didn't stop weaving in and out of traffic I was going to be carsick. He didn't even answer.

And I could tell it was going to be a horrible, terrible, no good, very bad day.

At a briefing the governor liked Steve's idea of jumping into a contaminated river to tackle a bad guy better than my idea of just letting him walk out at gunpoint.

At the ME's office Max said he'd have to start his whole process over because I interrupted his piano playing. At the crime lab Charlie said he couldn't let me take possession of some evidence I needed because when I filled out the request form I missed section 16. Who cares about section 16?

I could tell it was going to be a horrible, terrible, no good, very bad day.

I could tell because the new quarterly reports came out and Steve smirked and said I hadn't made the most arrests and that Kono had made the most arrests and Chin had made the second most arrests and I only made the third most arrests. I'm never booking anyone for you again, I said to Steve. I hope the next time you say book 'em Danno that you have to do it yourself because I'll be back in New Jersey.

Lunch was delivered and Kono ate sweet and sour chicken and Chin ate Hawaiian pizza and Steve ate Caribbean chicken salad. Guess whose partner forgot to order something without pineapple?

It was a horrible, terrible, no good, very bad day.

That's what it was, because that afternoon we had to take our annual physicals and the doctor found high blood pressure only in me. Come back next week and take a stress test, said the doctor.

Next week, I said, I'm going back to New Jersey.

On the way downstairs the elevator closed on my foot and while I was waiting for Steve to get the car it started to rain and I fell where it was muddy and started to curse and two little kids huddled under an umbrella with their mom gasped and told me I needed to put money into a swear jar and then Steve pulled up and shook his head at me while the mom chewed me out for saying the s word in front of her kids.

I am having a horrible, terrible, no good, very bad day, I told everybody.

No one even answered.

So then we went to the HPD supply store to pick up our new tactical vests. Kono put her vest on and commented on how well it fit. Chin and Steve bumped fists and preened and talked about how cool they looked with a shield and their name printed on their chests. I asked where mine was and the supply officer just said he was sorry but my size was on back order. They made me take a plain old black one but they can't make me wear it.

I went to pick Grace up from tennis lessons at Step Stan's country club but forgot it wasn't my day and Rachel was there and she looked at my muddy pants and my wet hair falling in my face and the sparkly Hello Kitty nail polish on my fingernails and said maybe I shouldn't pick up Grace up from tennis lessons anymore.

It was a horrible, terrible, no good, very bad day.

There were leftovers for dinner and I hate leftovers.

There was Polynesian dancing on TV and I hate Polynesian dancing.

My shower was too cold, I got shampoo in my eyes, I dropped a bottle of shower gel on my foot, and the only clean thing in my closet was a pair of flowered board shorts Steve gave me as a joke.

I hate flowered board shorts.

When I went to bed the sofa sleeper was all lumpy and the ocean was too loud and the electricity went out so I couldn't even leave the TV on to drown it out.

And Gabby was working late so she was going to sleep at her place instead of with me.

It had been a horrible, terrible, no good, very bad day.

But I reminded myself some days are like that.

Even in New Jersey.

fin