Title: No Reins
Author: Amy
Spoilers: Episode 6x19. Rock and a Hard Place.
Disclaimer: I own absolutely nothing. The song lyrics are from "No Reins" by Rascal Flatts.
Author's Note: Just a little something after Monday's episode. The last scenes were so sad. I wanted to cry right there and then. Anyways, with that being said, enjoy. Please read & review.
Alexx, I couldn't believe it. I was in one of the labs when I saw her walking down the hall. I watched her as she stopped to say goodbye to Natalia and watched her as she pulled Ryan into a tight embrace. It just didn't seem real. Even as I walked out of the lab and she approached me. I felt myself nod slightly, tried to smile, and before I knew it, she was pulling away. I could feel the tears coming but I willed myself not to let them fall. I watched her retreating back as she headed towards the elevator. The doors opened and there was Eric. He smiled proudly at her and pulled her into his arms. As they broke apart and she walked into the elevator, I glanced over my shoulder quickly. Natalia and Ryan were still standing where she had left them, looking more lost than ever. I don't blame them, I'm sure I looked the same. Alexx was a major part of our big, dysfunctional family here. As the doors closed, I watched Eric turn and look at me, sadness evident in his eyes. It was like losing Speedle all over again. Knowing that we'd keep in touch made me feel slightly better but… that sense of loss was still there.
I must have been deep in thought because the next thing I knew, Eric was leading me back into the lab that I had come out of. He was talking to me but I couldn't hear him. All I could hear was Alexx's voice, earlier that day.
"Just tell him, honey. Don't hold back. No reins."
Those four words had been playing over and over in my head the entire day. Every time I saw him, it was all I could think about. Alexx was right, as usual. I was hiding from my feelings because I was scared. I, Calleigh Duquense, was scared. Scared of being hurt again, scared of losing the best friend I've ever had, scared of letting my heart lead the way instead of my head for once, and scared of falling in love again.
Alexx. She must have been horrified today. Her son could have gone to jail for murder. Lord only knows what was going through her mind. Still, she kept as strong a face as she could. The terror had been evident in her eyes but she never stopped fighting.
So why can't I fight? Why can't I just fight to be truly happy for once?
I know what I have to do. I have to listen to Alexx. I have to tell him. I have to stop being scared.
I tried to focus on Eric, tried to open my mouth to tell him everything but nothing would come out. He was talking about Alexx; one hand on my shoulder, looking anywhere but at me.
"I mean, she was like my mother. I just can't -."
"Eric."
"believe she's gone. I never -."
"Eric."
"thought she'd -."
"Eric!"
"Huh? Oh, sorry, Cal. Was I rambling?"
"A little."
"Sorry, what'd you want to say?"
"Oh, um…"
"Cal?"
"You, you want dinner? I mean, to get some dinner? Tonight? Uh, with me?"
"I'd love that."
All she's ever felt is held back.
She says, "It's kinda nice to hear myself laugh."
She's gonna do a lot more of that,
she's makin' plans and makin' tracks.
She said, "Oh, oh I gotta go and find me."
Oh, oh she found the strength to break free.
Like a painted wild mustang,
flyin' out across the open range.
Finally gets to live her life that way;
no fear, no fences, nobody, no reins
Oh, oh she's learnin' how to let go.
Oh, oh whichever way the wind blows.
Oh, oh she's learnin' how to let go.
Like a painted wild mustang,
flyin' out across the open range.
Finally gets to live her life that way;
no fear, no fences, nobody-no reins
No reins
What do you think? Please note, this is only my second attempt at a CSI Miami fic, first at a oneshot.