Dirk/Baby Dave

You couldn't do this; you didn't know how to take care of a baby. This wasn't fucking fair. What the hell were you supposed to do with a crying baby?

"Come on little man. Stop all that noise."

You awkwardly picked the little rascal up and began to rock him gently. He didn't stop, he kept screaming, what did he want from you! You were just a kid yourself, you were supposed to be in school or finding a job or whatever normal teenagers did. Instead you were cooped up at home with this annoying little runt.

"Come on Dave, Chill out little man"

You cooed softly. You snatched a bottle of baby formula from the kitchen counter before plopping down on the couch. Dave screamed, his small round face turned a deep shade of red as he shut his blue eyes tight and scrunched up his nose in anger.

"You're gonna turn blue if you don't knock it off!"

You yelled shoving the bottle in his mouth.

He stopped his screams. Thank God. You watched as he drank heavily from the bottle and began to relax. That was it? He was just hungry?

You shook your head and rolled your eyes behind your pointed shades. You were beyond annoyed, but you were kind of relieved, at least there was nothing seriously wrong with him. You pulled the bottle away from Dave when he was finished; he gave a small yawn before closing his eyes and drifting off to sleep. You relaxed into the couch and tilted your head back. This kid hadn't let you sleep in four days, it was finally time to count some sheep and catch some Z's.

Sleep came to you relatively fast. You dreamt of becoming a famous DJ, making sick beats on your turn tables, and becoming known worldwide. Everyone loved you and loved your music, you were a star, the best of the best, but then it all faded. You slowly opened your eyes, reality hitting you instantly, you weren't a professional DJ, and you certainly weren't known worldwide, you were just a kid taking care of his little brother in a run-down apartment. You looked down at Dave who was already wide awake.

How long had you been asleep for?

You thought quietly to yourself, you were pretty sure you had been asleep for about an hour or two, maybe more? You didn't know. It looked pretty dark outside, you were just so tired.

"Bo"

You jumped a bit before looking down at Dave. He raised his hands and clenched them open and closed (Grabby hands).

"hm?"

You hummed softly before taking off your glasses and handing them to him. You gave a small smile as you watched him teeth on the edge of them.

"You can't possibly be hungry again"

You raised an eyebrow. You were running low on baby formula. It would probably be a good idea to buy some more, but you were running low on cash as well. You sighed softly, even if you got a job you probably wouldn't get paid enough to make ends meet. Not only that, but who would watch Dave?

Jake was on another one of his stupid 'adventures', Jane was at some kind of cooking competition and wouldn't be back for a week, and there was no way in hell you were going to leave Dave with Roxy!

The kid could come back addicted to alcohol or something. You looked down at Dave and smiled. He had finished teething on your glasses and had dropped them somewhere on the floor.

"why do you have to be so much trouble?"

Dave let out a small squeal before giggling.

"Hm? Something funny? Come on, lets hear it. What's so funny? I could use a good laugh to"

You tickled Dave and watched as he squirmed and smiled.

You would figure out a way to make ends meet somehow, you had to, for Dave.

"Alright squirt bath time"

You smiled at the frown you received from the little guy. He was never thrilled about having a bath. Maybe it was because the first time you tried to wash his hair you ended up getting soap in his eyes. That was totally your bad. You felt really bad afterwards, honest you did.

"Oh come on, I promise I won't get soap in your eyes this time"

You gave him a reassuring smile before standing up and stretching your back. You flipped Dave around so that his stomach was pressed against your chest. He instinctively grasped onto the top of your shirt and stared up at you confused as to why you had switched his comfy position.

You gently kissed his forehead as if apologizing, his expression changed to one of confusion to one of happy.

"Alright little man, are we having bubbles or no bubbles in our bath?"

"Bo"

"Yea I like bubbles too. Bubbles are pretty cool"

You smiled. Once in the bathroom you placed Dave on the floor and turned on the water. You weren't a baby specialist or whatever, but you were pretty sure that babies around Dave's age were supposed to be crawling by now. You stared at Dave who laid on his stomach staring up at you.

"So are you gonna crawl first or walk? Crawling is a lot easier man. You should try it sometime"

You sighed before pouring in the bubbles.

"Bo"

You looked over at Dave who was trying to push himself across the bathroom floor.

You shook your head.

"Nope dude, that's now how you do it. You gotta use your knees and hands"

"Bo"

Dave continued to slide himself across the floor on his stomach.

"Nah man that aint it"

You laughed softly before picking Dave up, taking off his red footy Pajamas, and putting him in the warm water. He wiggled around a bit adjusting to the temperature change before deciding he liked it. He giggled as he splashed around and smacked some of the bubbles out of the tub.

"I'm gonna have to clean that up aren't I?"

You sighed. You would add that to your list of things to do.

You knelt down beside the tub and began running a soft sponge over Dave's shoulders and then his tummy.

"Bo! Bo!"

"What's up?"

You stared at Dave as he splashed around, you gave a small smile and laughed softly.

"Splash Splash Splash havein a blast, Dave's having fun in his bubbly bath he's playing with ducks and making them quack as I throw down sick rhymes while I do my rap, we're getting squeaky clean right down to our toes as Dave sticks the bubbles on his itty bitty nose. Dave likes the bubbles they're pretty sublime we always have fun when it's bath time"

Dave giggled and reached out for you.

"You're my best audience little man"

You smiled as you picked him up and wrapped a towel around him.

"Alright tv time"

You patted Dave's back before laying him down on the couch and going to your room to grab another pair of footy pajamas for the little guy.

You stopped dead in your tracks when you returned to the living room and stared at the couch.

Where the hell had Dave gone?

"Dave?!"

"Bo"

You quickly ran to the other side of the couch and let out a sigh of relief.

You knelt down and watched as Dave slowly crawled over to you. You smiled proudly.

"good job man"

You picked Dave up before throwing him up in the air and catching him.

Dave squealed and kicked his legs back and forth in delight.

"Maybe soon you'll be walking"

Dave yawned in reply.

"guess all that crawling tuckered you out huh?"

Dave yawned again.

You pulled him close to your chest before sitting on the couch and turning on the small tv that sat in the middle of the room.

"hm. Wheel of Fortune, Cooking show, Discovery Channel, Animal Planet, or Crime Time?"

You looked down at Dave who was already fast asleep.

You turned your attention back to the tv and decided to go with Animal Planet.

Three female lions appeared on the screen, their cubs hid in the long green grass behind them. The female lions were looking for their prey. Watching the show kind of reminded you of you and Dave.

You were like a female lion ready to defend your cub if need be. Dave was your cub, and you would do whatever you had to do to protect him.

You could feel your eyelids growing heavy. Without waking Dave you readjusted yourself so that you were laying down on the couch with Dave on your stomach.

You rubbed Dave's back soothingly before closing your eyes and drifting off to sleep.

Chapter 2 Coming Soon!