E-mail: Boonchandi@yahoo.com (SEND HERE NOT TO OLD ADDRESS)
Title: Here Is Gone
Disclamer: I do not own Harry Potter, and it associated characters, If I did then I would be putting this in the book and not writing a fanfic. I do not own the Goo Goo Dolls, and the song "Here Is Gone."
AN: This is my first Harry Potter fic, also my first slash fic. I hope that you all enjoy it. I tried to keep it realistic, and not too out of character for either of them. Also a BIG thank you to my Beta reader: Child of Two Worlds, very good author by the way. Also remember if you leave a review more fics will come. But you came here to read about Harry and Draco so enjoy! *draws a curtain*
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Standing, tall, strong and unmoving, upon one of the rolling moors where the battle had finally been ended stood two proud figures unsure of where to go. One who had been raised his whole life to fight the menace of Voldemort, and the other had been sublimated into the perfect dark warrior, only to reveal a chaotic soul that went against all that he was thought and imagined to be…
Shaking his head to remove a dark lock from his sight, emerald eyes looked back into gleaming silver ones that had always held hate and animosity, that now held…something unnamable… Breaking the staring contest they both looked away, neither sure exactly what to say.
'The Boy Who Lived' looked at the familiar, yet unknown figure of the man who had for so long been his enemy. The one whom he now owed a life debt… 'The Slimy Slytherin' looked back at him; the man who had caused him to betray his family and all that he was raised to be…
As if in slow motion, Draco broke his gaze and started walking slowly across the moors… Harry's eyes moved with him before finally realizing that he was leaving… Surprise covered his features, eyes wide open and jaw agape. Why was a man who would take revenge for the most petty things, just walking away after saving the life of his worst enemy?
"Wait…" he called out moving to follow Draco.
Draco stilled completely before turning with an unknown look upon his face. There were no signs of the coldness and hatred that Harry had associated with the individual known as Draco Malfoy.
What had happened? Harry had expected to run across Draco on the battlefield, but he never thought Draco would risk his own life to save his. They had always been enemies to each other, neither of them had done anything to change that over the years. Yet both felt a slight regret at never changing things…
Looking back at him again, all Draco could see was confusion upon the face of the man that he had known for seven years as an enemy. A man that he never wanted to fight against in the first place. Having been the unlucky soul to be placed into the Malfoy line, Draco had been doomed to have his path chosen for him from birth to death. He was never given the option of who he chose to befriend, and what way his life would lead him. Harry had been the only person who had made him want to change all that was set before him…
There may not have been any of the hatred and anger Harry was used to seeing fixed to the face of the former Slytherin before him, but the blank mask was not helping either. Shaking his head to break the thoughts running through his head, he looked at Draco and asked the one question that he had wanted to ask since that day in battle, "Why?"
"Why what, Potter? Why am I here? Why was I in the battle? Why did I save you? So many possible questions," Draco smirked, but it never reached his eyes. His eyes still held that mysterious, unknown look in them.
Harry rolled his eyes, "Why did you save me, Malfoy? There has to be a reason that could some how aid you. Otherwise you would have never done it…" His old defenses came up; seven years of never trusting Malfoy were hard to overcome in a few days.
Draco looked at his feet, "Why did I save you…" his voice took on a mysterious quality. "Why did I save you…? My actions never required answers before, Potter. Why do they now?"
" 'Cause it was my life you saved instead of your father's…" The words sounded odd on his tongue, and the mere fact that he was saying them to Malfoy made him question more about who he really was.
But it's all and then it's nothing to me
And I got my defenses
When it comes to your intentions for me
And we wake up in the breakdown
Of the things we never thought we could be
Silver eyes traveled to meet green ones, "I did it for a reason you would not understand, Potter…and one that I am not going to tell." Draco turned back and started walking away from Harry.
Harry went from shocked to indignant, "I did nothing to you! I'm just one person trying to figure out what would cause my 'enemy' to risk his life to save my own… letting his own father die in the process!"
Draco stopped, his back still turned towards Harry, "I was told by my father that you were to go alone to the final battlefield, where Voldemort and the most powerful of the Death Eaters would be waiting to ambush you…I went against my father's wishes and went to the battlefield…" Taking in a breath, he turned towards Harry, "when I got here…You were nowhere to be seen…I thought something had happened to you, that you hadn't made it past the other guards and creatures…Then I saw my father gloating to you as Wormtail moved in behind you…" Draco's head hung low biting his lower lip, "I couldn't let it happen…"
I'm not the one you should fear
What do you got to move you darling
I thought I lost you somewhere
But you were never really ever there at all
Harry had moved silently towards Draco as he spoke of the night that was still fresh in their minds. His hand came up unconsciously by Draco's shoulder to rest on it lightly. Draco looked up, surprise in his eyes, and his entire body tensed, unconsciously taking a step back in shock.
Harry looked away and put his hand into his pocket "Sorry…"
Draco's eyes wandered over Harry for a moment before getting lost in his thoughts again. Why had he really done it? Until that day, he had never disobeyed his father… What had caused him to start questioning his father, and what had made him want to decide for himself what he did?
He looked at Harry. That was the reason…the freedom Harry had, the friends… He might have had money, wealth, and power…but it all meant nothing…
I can feel you falling
And I wanted to be all you need
Somehow here is gone
"I know that you don't trust me, and most likely never will. Nothing I can do will ever be able to change that." Draco looked straight at Harry "I'm not the one who took your parents and changed your entire life in one act; I was just a common school bully." Sighing heavily as he turned, walking away, "You would be better off just forgetting that it happened, Potter."
Harry watched the retreating figure, a wave of confusion and something else washing over him. 'Why was he just walking away?'
From the day of the battle till now, all Draco seemed to do was just watch him, or walk away. He never gave any of the condescending looks, or comments that Ron, Hermione and himself, had believed a permanent fixture in the Malfoy vocabulary. Who knew that one day Harry would owe Malfoy his life, and Malfoy would not be gloating that? The years of teasing and tricks all seemed to have vanished in the place of a few days, leaving a man Harry knew nothing about.
To the sound of this pollution in me
And I was not the answer
So forget you ever thought it was me
I'm not the one who broke you
I'm not the one you should fear
What do you got to move you darling
I thought I lost you somewhere
But you were never really ever there at all
Draco could feel Harry's eyes on his back; he almost wished Harry would say something. Conflicting emotions had always confronted him at the thought of 'The Boy Who Lived.' In the beginning he had never wanted to be placed upon opposite sides with him… Now? Who knew what was going on in his mind when he did that. He just wanted to be seen as who he really was for once…and not what he was forced to be.
Harry ran up besides Draco and fell into step with the other man. He tried to look at him without being too obvious, but Draco caught him. All that Draco could sense was confusion…and not just his own.
"Draco?"
Draco looked at him in surprise before recomposing himself. "Yes…Harry?" The name he never let himself use, except in his mind. What he really wanted, lodged somewhere away from his conscious thoughts, was something that he could never have…
I can feel you falling
And I wanted to be all you need
Somehow here is gone
He watched Draco, the words lost on his tongue. Nothing that he would have said to his nemesis would have been right to say to the man standing here now. The past between them had always been chaotic, to say the least: never knowing what would happen next, another sneaky plan, another duel in the hallways. Looking at him, Harry wanted to believe that something was different between the Draco that had relentlessly tortured him and the one who was standing here now. If Draco truly had changed…should he let go of their past…? Or should he just forget what happened as Draco had said before?
That's here between us
And I'm not holding on
And all your lies weren't enough to keep me here
'I want to lose my past…it never was part of who I truly was… I had been a boy who blindly idolized his father…never seeing him for what he really was.' Draco looked at Harry, wishing that he knew what was going on behind the confused features of his face. What was it that made him want to be…more then the casual acquaintance to Harry? Draco shook his head, where were these thoughts coming from? Or had they always been there?
I can feel you falling
And I wanted to be all you need
Somehow here is gone
Harry felt Draco's eyes on him and turned to face the other man. They both stopped. A breeze blew lightly, sending Harry's untamable hair flitting across his forehead and Draco's silken locks dancing across his cheeks. Their eyes, which had once been cold, distant and unreadable, were now locked in battles within. Unconsciously their breaths grew heavier, almost as if in anticipation. The warm air softly caressing the other's lips…
When had they gotten that close to the other?
An instant passed and the next breath brought them together. Their lips slowly passed over one another's as hands grabbed at their robes to close the remaining distance. Neither one knew who started it, but the instant it happened the chaotic emotions drained from their minds and all that they felt now was an overwhelming sense of peace. In that moment everything was perfect. As they stood on the rolling hills where the Final Battle had been fought a new beginning rose from its ashes.
I can feel you falling
I know it's out there
I know it's out there
I can feel you falling
I know it's out there
I know it's out there
Somehow here is gone
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AN: *curtain raises* If you are reading this would you please be so kind as to leave a review? Thank you!