Letting him go

By Alasse Fefalas

Lisbon slowly opened her eyes. Her head was pounding like crazy. It took her a moment to remember all that had happened. She and Jane had chased Red John all the way into the empty CBI building. Jane had ran further in front. She knew that rage fueled him, but she would not say anything else until they had the murderer cornered, with absolutely no hidden caches to hide in. Lisbon had heard some movement on her left, so she stopped, gun in front of her. Wheeling left, she saw nothing but empty space. She felt a sharp, sudden pain in her head and the next thing she knew was darkness.

Her eyes had not fully focused yet but she was already pushing herself off the ground. She looked around for her gun, only to find it missing. Red John must have taken it. Determination kept her moving forward, towards Jane. She prayed in her heart he would not do anything stupid. Lisbon forced herself to run, using the objects around her to support herself whenever she lost balance.

It wasn't hard to find them - the sounds of struggle echoed in the empty office. Lisbon ran towards it, fearing the worst when the sounds died down after a loud gunshot. It was silent.

"Jane!" Lisbon shouted in worry.

"I'm alright, Lisbon," Jane said wearily as he sat down on a chair. He placed the two guns he was carrying onto the table. On the floor beside him was Red John, unconscious. "It took me a while, but I managed to knock him out."

Lisbon looked at the man on the floor, and then to the man sitting on the chair. Jane was badly bruised and riddled with cuts of varying severity. The once-vest had been ripped to shreds, and the white shirt below stained red with blood. Lisbon slowly walked over to Jane and pulled him into a tight hug. "I'm so glad you're alive," Lisbon breathed.

"Ow, ow, ow, Lisbon, not so hard!" Jane protested.

Quickly, Lisbon let go of him. She dragged a chair over from the next table and sat down beside Jane. Feeling Jane's hand on her face, Lisbon turned towards him.

"You're bleeding," Jane commented. Jane's hand travelled upwards, following the warm trail of blood on Lisbon's face.

"I am?" Lisbon asked. Suddenly, she hissed in pain when Jane's hand brushed against an open wound on her forehead. "It's just a scratch."

"You're hurt because of me," Jane said heavily.

Lisbon's felt the familiar squeeze of her heart. She knew it wasn't just the wound on her head he was referring to, but also to the wounds on her heart he had caused over the years. Opening her mouth, Lisbon started, "Jane, I -"

"I'm sorry," Jane interrupted. He looked straight into her eyes, his green eyes piercing into her bright green ones. "I'm sorry. For all the tricks I've pulled, for all the things that I've done. And for making you do this. I'm sorry."

Lisbon couldn't tear her eyes away from his. In that instant, she knew the man on the floor would not be able to kill again. She knew the man on the floor would never get up again.

Red John was dead. And Jane had killed him.

A flurry of emotions coursed through her and she could see the same ones mirrored in his eyes - pain, relief, fear, hurt, sadness, love. And not even one for happiness. Lisbon squeezed her eyes shut. She didn't want to see those same emotions in his eyes. "I have to arrest you," Lisbon whispered.

Lisbon felt the warmth of his skin on her forehead, the weight of him close to her, his breath on her lips, his hands on her cheeks. "I know," Jane whispered back.

It felt so natural, like magnets coming together. Jane kissed her gently, pouring the feelings he had kept hidden inside him for so long. Lisbon felt all those emotions multiply her own in that one, single long kiss. As they pulled apart, Lisbon realized that she was crying. She didn't know she was.

"You son of a bitch," Lisbon sniffed, eliciting a small laugh from Jane.

"That's all you have to say after all that?"

"That about sums it up," Lisbon laughed, wiping the tears off her face. Then the sombre expression returned. "You'll be tried for murder. Again."

"I know," Jane smiled. "It's okay."

"It's not okay! Jane, for god's sake, you killed a man!" Lisbon cried.

Jane looked at the man on the floor. Standing, he buried his hands in his pockets. Jane sighed. "He deserved it."

Lisbon sighed and ran a hand through her hair, wincing when she accidentally brushed her wound. She had done it once before, and she could not think of anything else at the time being. It was crazy, but she knew Jane was right. The bastard deserved it for all he had done, and if not that, then for the murder of Jane's wife and child.

"Go," Lisbon said, looking up at Jane.

Jane gave her an incredulous look. "What?"

"Go. Somewhere out of the country, where they can't get you."

"Lisbon, what are you saying?" Jane's hands came flying out of his pockets.

"Jane, go. I mean it. I've covered for Bosco once before. Go, before we start searching for you."

"If I go, you wouldn't be able to find me," Jane said as he absent mindedly twisted his wedding ring.

Lisbon smiled. "I'll be searching for you."

Lisbon could see the indecisiveness in Jane's eyes. He wanted to go, but he didn't want to leave her there. Slowly, she stood up. Gently, she took his left hand and laced her fingers through his. Pulling him down, she tenderly kissed him. "Go," she breathed.

Jane stood up straight and unlaced their fingers. Mutely, he took off his wedding ring and placed it into Lisbon's right palm and closed it. "Return this to me when you find me," Jane whispered. He placed a light kiss on her cheek and walked out of the room.

Lisbon unhinged her necklace, threaded the chain through the ring and clicked it back together. She buttoned one more button of her shirt, hiding the cross and ring from view. "I'll find you," Lisbon promised.

A/N: There was a new spoiler on tumblr. I don't know how real it is, but this is how I envision the end of Red John would be like. I didn't name him, so you could replace it with whoever you think Red John is. I hope you enjoyed this story! (I'm supposed to be writing my nanowrimo fic... but yeah.) Thanks for reading! What did you think of it? Reviews are very much appreciated!