Dedicated to Locket. I'm sorry. I still love you, and hope you're well.


"Stop reading those old messages."
The voice startled her out of her reverie, and Chichi dropped her phone to the table, swiping a hand over her eyes before her head snapped up to meet Piccolo's stare. "I will not tell you to delete them," he stood over her, looking down his sharp, slightly crooked nose. "But reading them over and over is hurting you deeply."
"I'm… I guess I'm just not ready to let go of the memories," Chichi bit her lip, ducking her head to hide her tears.
She heard him sigh, pull out a chair, and sit. A large hand tentatively settled on her shoulder, the warmth of it hovering noticeably before the solid touch of sinewy flesh gripped her.
"I would not expect you to relinquish them," Piccolo's voice had softened from a growl to a low rumble, "memories are pivotal in forming who we are as individuals. Relinquishing your memories of him would prevent growth and learning. But," she still could not look at him, hot tears brimming in her eyes. She just wanted to go to bed, lie there day in and day out and pine over him, her lost love. Lost, because of her own stupidity and insecurities! "But," Piccolo continued, and she felt his fingers twitch on her shoulder, crinkling the fabric of her blouse, "dwelling on mistakes and misunderstandings is not productive." She knew Goku was not dwelling over her. He had been the one ending it, hadn't he? So it made sense that he seemed to be over it, over her and her stupidity and lack of self-confidence if his updates were anything to go by! "How are you supposed to grow if you dwell solely on the past?"
She started to shake with swallowed sobs, fingers curling into fists on her skirt, shoulders trembling. "Chichi," Piccolo sounded less sure now than he had a moment ago. Who was he to be giving relationship advice anyway? "I am not going to pick a side; I am not going to tell either one of you that the other is deserving of all blame. Both of you made mistakes, failed to communicate efficiently and properly."
"I'm the one who ruined everything," Chichi whispered, her words strangled with sobs. "Every time I close my eyes and I can see his messy black hair, each scar, every little mark on his skin that made him the person I loved with all of my heart. I can see the train station where we embraced after I finally came home from that trip, I can feel his arms around me, feel him breathing when I touch my pillow at night. I can taste the mimosas and chocolate and sticky rice we ate while watching reality TV and laughing. Everything was …well, everything was good! Everything was fine! Until I forgot how to listen, until I forgot how to be a good partner!" She was sobbing in earnest now, hands on her face and entire body quaking with the sheer force of her pain. "He's everything to me, everything, and I'm the one who ruined it! I'm the one who destroyed everything we had worked so hard to build and protect. And it hurts to think that he's better off without me. Even though I know he is. And that makes me a terrible person, doesn't it? I'm a terrible person because I know he's better off without me but I'm still devastated about losing him. Devastated and wondering if, if I was ever a good partner, a good friend. We had plans to live together, you know? Get a cat. Maybe a dog too. A cute little place somewhere near our jobs, convenient and safe!" She felt his arms slip gingerly around her upper body, and she collapsed into his burly chest. "Why am I so stupid? I know how he gets! I know how he does things that don't always make sense to me and scare me but he always, always explained it if only I was patient and sane enough to listen without jumping to conclusions. How could I not have seen that this is exactly what was happening? Why'd I have to jump to the worst possible conclusions - and I made them all true! I did! It was all my actions." She had to pause for breath, and Piccolo murmured something that both hurt terribly and made a great deal of sense:
"You both had a hand in the end, but he validated your fears by telling you your feelings were uncalled for. You are not a mind reader."


I wrote this while trying to deal with my sorrow, and I'm sorry for making you Goku in this. I know you hate him even more than I do.