The alarm clock rings.
Another eight hours of life wasted.
Time to get up and go to school.
The school bell rings.
Another six hours of life wasted.
Time for work.
Another five hours of life wasted.
Time for homework.
Another three hours of life wasted.
Time for sleep.
The alarm clock rings.
"Lisa time for school."
I've been lying in bed for the last twenty minutes dreading those words from my mother. Time to get up and face the world again. I get up, I eat a fast breakfast, maybe some toast or a bagel, and I ride my bike to school. I live in New York so I have to be careful of the traffic. I wonder what it would feel like to be hit by a bus while riding my bike to school. Would anybody even notice that I was gone? I'm at school. I lock up my bike and go inside.
The teacher flips through the pile of papers in her hands and looks at me.
"Lisa, did you do the assignment?"
She already knows I didn't, why does she bother asking?
"No."
"That's another zero."
She already knows that I know that, why does she bother saying that? Why did I even bother coming in.
"I know Mrs. Pine."
Mrs. Pine. What a stupid name. Who would want to named after a tree.
"One more and you'll fail for the quarter."
"I know Mrs. Pine."
School is over, I go to retrieve my bike for the ride home. My bike is gone. Somebody has stolen my bike? Unbelievable. Who would want to steal my bike? I check my pocket, just enough for the subway. I'm waiting in the station. Here comes the train. I wonder what it would feel like to throw myself in front of it. Would anybody even notice I was gone? Too late, the train's here. I get in and stare into the blackness outside the window. Is that what it's like to be dead? The train stops and I get out.
"How was your day?"
That same question again. She doesn't really care, she's asking it because that's what people ask.
"Fine. My bike got stolen."
"Uh huh..."
She's not listening. She's watching some soap opera on TV.
"Yeah, and then I got mugged by a guy with three arms."
"You don't say..."
I wonder if she'd even notice if I never came home.
"Lisa time for school."
There it is again. That same stupid sentence that starts my day. I eat a quick breakfast. I leave my books, field trip today. I leave early, my little sister is still asleep. I have to walk. I get to school and they herd us into the bus. Other kids are excited, talking to one another about things that don't really matter. We arrive at our destination. What was it again? Oh right, the Empire State Building. I've seen it plenty of times, never actually been in it. We're at the top, windy. The teacher is going on and on about the history of the building and the people who built it. Who cares, the people who built it are dead and the building will be gone within a hundred years or so. I look down on the city. I wonder what it would feel like to jump off. Would anybody even notice I was gone?
"Lisa time to go."
I look around, everybody else is already heading back to the elevator to go home. I leave the observation deck and go down toward the elevator. I look to my left. An open window? Why would anybody leave a window open on a building this high? I look at the elevator and the beckoning teacher. Would anybody even notice I was gone? I run for the window. I hear shouting behind me.
I'm falling.
I hear voices.
There's someone outside.
"Tell me about the dream you had."
Another eight hours of life wasted.
Time to get up and go to school.
The school bell rings.
Another six hours of life wasted.
Time for work.
Another five hours of life wasted.
Time for homework.
Another three hours of life wasted.
Time for sleep.
The alarm clock rings.
"Lisa time for school."
I've been lying in bed for the last twenty minutes dreading those words from my mother. Time to get up and face the world again. I get up, I eat a fast breakfast, maybe some toast or a bagel, and I ride my bike to school. I live in New York so I have to be careful of the traffic. I wonder what it would feel like to be hit by a bus while riding my bike to school. Would anybody even notice that I was gone? I'm at school. I lock up my bike and go inside.
The teacher flips through the pile of papers in her hands and looks at me.
"Lisa, did you do the assignment?"
She already knows I didn't, why does she bother asking?
"No."
"That's another zero."
She already knows that I know that, why does she bother saying that? Why did I even bother coming in.
"I know Mrs. Pine."
Mrs. Pine. What a stupid name. Who would want to named after a tree.
"One more and you'll fail for the quarter."
"I know Mrs. Pine."
School is over, I go to retrieve my bike for the ride home. My bike is gone. Somebody has stolen my bike? Unbelievable. Who would want to steal my bike? I check my pocket, just enough for the subway. I'm waiting in the station. Here comes the train. I wonder what it would feel like to throw myself in front of it. Would anybody even notice I was gone? Too late, the train's here. I get in and stare into the blackness outside the window. Is that what it's like to be dead? The train stops and I get out.
"How was your day?"
That same question again. She doesn't really care, she's asking it because that's what people ask.
"Fine. My bike got stolen."
"Uh huh..."
She's not listening. She's watching some soap opera on TV.
"Yeah, and then I got mugged by a guy with three arms."
"You don't say..."
I wonder if she'd even notice if I never came home.
"Lisa time for school."
There it is again. That same stupid sentence that starts my day. I eat a quick breakfast. I leave my books, field trip today. I leave early, my little sister is still asleep. I have to walk. I get to school and they herd us into the bus. Other kids are excited, talking to one another about things that don't really matter. We arrive at our destination. What was it again? Oh right, the Empire State Building. I've seen it plenty of times, never actually been in it. We're at the top, windy. The teacher is going on and on about the history of the building and the people who built it. Who cares, the people who built it are dead and the building will be gone within a hundred years or so. I look down on the city. I wonder what it would feel like to jump off. Would anybody even notice I was gone?
"Lisa time to go."
I look around, everybody else is already heading back to the elevator to go home. I leave the observation deck and go down toward the elevator. I look to my left. An open window? Why would anybody leave a window open on a building this high? I look at the elevator and the beckoning teacher. Would anybody even notice I was gone? I run for the window. I hear shouting behind me.
I'm falling.
I hear voices.
There's someone outside.
"Tell me about the dream you had."