Summary: He would pretend to be the boy with the beaming grin and he would pretend that the real Hiro Hamada didn't die in the fire with Tadashi. He would fake it all, even if it means that a part of him would die inside.
Some nights, Hiro would listen to Aunt Cass grieve. He would sit up in bed and draw his knees to himself, numb and wishing that Tadashi was here. He would listen to Aunt Cass cry herself to sleep -again- through the thin walls and he would hate himself for not doing anything about it.
When it was all over, then and only then, would he allow himself to mourn. He would mourn for all the things that were wrong and he would cry and cry and he would hate himself for it. Most of the time, he would be so numb to the pain, pain, pain, that he wouldn't even notice that he's already crying.
Detachedly, Hiro would realize that he's already used to it.
He would dream about fire, consuming everything in its path, killing everything, killing Tadashi and he screams. "Tadashi, no!"
Please don't leave, he pleads silently but no one answers him.
In the morning, he would wake up and ignore the other, closed-off section of the room. He would go downstairs to greet Aunt Cass with a smile.
He never really smiled anymore though, not like before when Tadashi was still alive. He wishes that he didn't have to force himself but it hurt too much to smile now.
Baymax would comfort him and it would almost feel like one of Tadashi's hugs. Hiro could just close his eyes and imagine that Tadashi was there.
It was so easy to do it because it was better to face a perfect fantasy than a broken reality. Less painful.
But sometimes, he didn't because it was more painful every time he had to open his eyes again and see that Tadashi stayed gone. No matter how much Hiro appreciated Baymax's care and concern, he still wasn't Tadashi. Baymax never was and he never will be because Tadashi is dead.
He would pretend that nothing ever happened the night before but he would still remember the way Aunt Cass had wept uncontrollably, all for Tadashi. He would get out of there before he'd do something he'd regret, like crying or something.
Aunt Cass needed him to be alright so he would pretend to be. He would pretend to be the boy with the beaming grin and he would pretend that the real Hiro Hamada didn't die in the fire with Tadashi. He would fake it all, even if it means that a part of him would die inside.
He would get through the day somehow but his heart still ached and hurt and why did you have to go, Tadashi?
It was a routinely cycle for both Hiro and Aunt Cass. Their world revolved around Tadashi Hamada because he was always, always there.
Until now.
Criticism would be much appreciated! Thanks for reading.