Yeah! Here me with the new stories! I have so many ideas inside my head, OMG, I already started a story today… T.T

Well… now… a short story but not oneshot… and IT'S NOT ROMANCE.

Here you are…

From Kyle, with love… LOL

ANGSTANGST about Kai n.n I love him, live with it.

This story is weird thinking it from my writing style and my personal opinions about Kai's history, which you've read in previous fics. But I came up with this idea, and I think it's interesting. Now, please tell me what you think about it.

AND DON'T SCROLL DOWN UNLESS YOU'RE READING, COZ IT WILL LOSE SENSE! PLEASE.!

Disclamer: I don't own beyblade nor Kai nor any beyblade character, but I own the characters (OCs) I'll mention in the next chapter.

What You Have and I want

Prologue

How long have I been traveling? I'm unaware of the time with all this things in mind.

I watch the snow fall slowly at the other side of the window. Russia is cold… very cold. It's winter, and that only makes things worse. Years ago I would have never thought I would be traveling, with only seventeen years old, to Russia… to see you.

I can't even remember you really. I just know what others told me about you, I know your name, and by chance I didn't forget it already.

I don't know if I loved you, if I hated you. It seems as if I had forget everything during the time I was in that cold place, surrounded by concrete walls, stone floors, high cupules and disgusting men.

Did you leave me there? I don't think so. Something must have happened and I'm going to find it out. My past was never revealed to me… never. Anyone seems able to tell the truth that hides behind my name… my surname.

Why do I live? How was I born? Haven't you ever questioned things like that? And when you can't find an answer to them, you start looking for it deeper, and deeper… that's how I got involved with Boris again three years ago.

I needed the answers of my past… and I knew he had them. But what shall I do now? Shall I go and ask for them to grandfather, who might be lying on a hospital bed unable to move or breath on his own? No. I'm coming back to you.

There was always a shadow beside me, a shadow I'd never understand unless you help me to do it. Yes. I'm asking for help. I'm demanding you to help me. Because you're the only one who can do it. You're the only one who can puzzle out this code that's on my mind.

Snowflakes hit the train window. I love when they do that. I love storms, any kind of them. They help me to concentrate and focus on my aims… and my aim, this time, are the answers. The answers that only you can give me.

I have to admit, I am afraid. I'm afraid of what will be your reaction… I'm afraid of returning to Russia after the years I've been away from here… and I'm uncertain of how much time this will take… so I'm afraid it'll take forever.

My fear… won't let me sleep. It's three in the morning and my eyes are wide opened since I left at ten o'clock. I can't sleep but I know I have to. Tomorrow I won't be able to think either.

I have not eaten, I have not drunk anything. The little food I got on the train is still there with my luggage. I don't take a lot with me. Just a few t-shirts and a pair of trousers, just in case this takes more than a day… what I hope not.

I don't want to see you or him. But you live together, and if I want my answers, then I'll have them back. It doesn't matter what it costs. I always get what I want.

Looking back at me, I see that I never stopped being a cold-hearted. Did you do this to me? Did you transform me in what I am? I don't think so. I think they did. But then I am wondering again.

That's what I want to stop doing. I want to stop thinking about what could, may and might be, and instead think about what it was, what I am. What I truly am. Not the stories that those who brought me up told me… those are lies… whole lies.

I want the truth… And if you really knew me then you would know that I won't stop until I find them… until I find it.

Finally… it seems I'm arriving in Stadavok. That journey was driving me mad. I step out of the train doors and wander around. Not familiar… I would swear I've never been in this place… but anyway… I know I have.

I find it at last. The house I've been looking for my entire teenager life. I look again at the map, in case I made some mistake but not… I never make mistakes… is that another secret to be revealed? Will you reveal it to me?

I hardly knock the wooden door, a hundred percent sure that this is the house. "Open the door!" I shout. I know there's someone inside… lights are on… but maybe you won't open the door?

The fact that someone unknown is stepping out of your door in the middle of the storm scares you… I know.

"What do you want?" your voice. Your voice sounds like that of the woman who has been through a long, harsh winter. Are you old?

"Open the door!" I shout again. Won't you listen to me?

"At least tell me your name!" you ask again. If you're really living with him, then he should be the one to open the door in a day like this, don't you think? But no. There you are… asking me questions… when I'm the one who came looking for answers.

"I said open it dammit! The name is Kai." I answer at last. Maybe that way you'll open and I will stop freezing out here.

"Who are you?!" you ask again. dammit, I should have never come. But anyways… maybe if I tell you who I am… and how you're related to me… you'll open. Here I go. I'll say it.

"I… I am your Son."

TBC,

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