Oh make some big jumps, big jumps you afraid to break some bones
Come on make some big jumps, big jumps life is your saulte
You hold your head up, your head up high like you think I do

Emiliana Torrini - Big Jumps

()

First Jump

Narcissa begged him to stay put. She begged him with her eyes. It was all she could do.

Draco, she seemed to be saying, we're all we have left.

But her son rose defiantly from his chair and with a haggard but resolute look in his eyes, walked into the adjoining room.

He could bear many things. He could bear to witness the Muggle murders, could bear receiving punishment for his father's mistakes, could stand watching him humiliate himself in front of Voldemort, could bear having war prisoners in his dungeon and stay awake every night hearing their screams, he could even take having the Dark Lord in his own house.

But this was beyond his tolerance. It was much more palpable than anything he'd witnessed. This was someone he'd grown up with, someone he'd gone to school with for six years and it was so close, so real that it felt like it was happening to him. It was one thing to see Potter and Weasley getting dragged down to the dungeons, but hearing and watching Hermione Granger, the Hermione Granger getting tortured was something...entirely different.

This was the last straw. And he didn't even know why, but it was.

In the past, he'd had no problem with her getting hurt. As a child, he'd wished her harm out of spite and envy, even if he had never truly meant it. And every time when she was victorious, every time she came out of it unscathed, he used to feel hidden relief in knowing she would still be there, fighting him all the way through, nagging everyone around her, knowing everything about everything, upsetting the blood hierarchy and making his life difficult.

It wasn't anything personal, but he always saw her as the strongest from the Trio. She was like a fixture in one's life, that unchangeable thing you always turned to in moments of uncertainty, the one thing that would always be there, that would always stay the same, despite being all sorts of wrong.

Bellatrix cackled softly as Hermione Granger's body writhed one more time before it went completely still. She turned on her side in defeat and let her moans of pain subside into low murmurs.

Draco looked down at the girl whose face was covered entirely by her wild hair. He could bet she was hiding a face full of scars and blood.

"I wonder if she's had enough. I know Mudbloods never have enough, but I don't want her to die so quickly. That'll be no bloody fun,' Bella said in a playful, shrill voice, circling the girl's body with her step. She looked quite satisfied with herself.

"Where's my father?" Draco asked, tearing his eyes away from Hermione.

"Off to greet the Dark Lord, what else? Lucius never did take down those wards like he promised. He will be very displeased," his aunt answered, giving him a look he knew too well.

"Does that mean I have to send for someone to fetch Potter and Weasley from the dungeons?" Draco asked impassively.

"Not yet, love. Not quite yet. We have to get the festivities ready. The Dark Lord will wish everyone to see he's finally captured Potter. Meanwhile..." she trailed off, staring at the body lying on the floor. "I'll give this one another try, to see how far she can go."

She raised her wand gleefully towards Hermione, but Draco suddenly stepped in front of her, his own wand drawn.

"My mother is not feeling well. She has had enough of your tantrums for one day, Bellatrix. Kindly remove yourself from these quarters. I will take Granger to the dungeons."

The witch stared at him in amazement. Draco didn't move a muscle.

A hideous grin suddenly stretched her mouth.

"Can't handle a little bit of torture, is that it, Drakey?"

She placed an icy hand on his left cheek.

"Your weakness disgusts me, boy. You are a miserable disgrace," she said, spitting down.

"And speak to me like that again and you'll wish you were in her place," Bella threatened, sinking her nails into his jaw. He almost winced.

Draco pushed her hand away in disgust, a flicker of fear crossing his eyes when she jabbed her wand into his stomach.

She revealed a set of sharp teeth, as if she was about to bite him.

"Oooh, you gullible little boy!" she exclaimed, bursting into laughter. Her roars echoed through the hallways.

Once she was out of his sight, Draco let out a much needed breath. He stared after her shadow in hatred. She always kept reminding him he was a coward.

His eyes lowered towards Granger once more. He felt hot sweat trickle down his forehead. He didn't know what to do.

She looked like she was in a critical state. If he put her in one of the cells she would either freeze or bleed to death.

He knelt down and quickly checked her vital signs. He could barely, just barely hear a pulse.

He didn't have much time on his hands and he knew that, but he couldn't make up his mind. It had been easier to walk out of the room and tell Bellatrix to stop, but it was proving much more difficult to deal with the consequences.

What was he going to do? Who was he going to ask for help? His mother? She was half-fainted in the other room. His father was with the Dark Lord right now...and the Dark Lord, he was probably getting closer to...

He heard footsteps down the corridor.

Without rationalizing much, he pulled her unconscious body from the floor and took her in his arms. He quickly carried her into the adjoining room, where his mother was crying silently, waiting for the worst to happen.

When she saw him burst in with the girl's body over his shoulder, she nearly shrieked.

"Draco - What are you - Good God, why have you brought her - ?"

"Mother, please, not now! Just help me get her somewhere else!"

"Somewhere else? Draco, have you gone mad? What do you plan on doing with her? Your father - "

"He's the last of my concerns right now. Just help me get her out of here!" he yelled exasperated.

"What do you want me to do? I can't do anything! There are Death Eaters on every corridor!"

"We have to get her in my room, it's not far from here and if we take the passage from the West quarters - "

"Draco, it's impossible! Please, just put her down! Why are you doing this?" Narcissa asked, tears springing in her eyes again.

"Because I can't just sit here like you!" he barked at her in anger.

"What do you mean like me? Do you think it's easy for me? Do you think I wanted all of this to happen? Do you think I like what they are doing to my house? I suffer just as much as you do! But I care about you more than I care about my pride," Narcissa reproached him.

"This is not about bloody pride. I want to do something, anything, and you are not going to stop me!"

"I just want to keep you safe!"

"You can't keep me safe, mother! No one can. Just give it up. Please, just help me," he said, tightening his grip on Granger.

"And Bellatrix?"

"She thinks I've taken her to the dungeons."

"Well, wouldn't it be better if - "

"You don't understand. There's no time," Draco practically growled.

Narcissa ran a hand through her perfectly combed hair and took a deep breath, before she suddenly ran out of the room and into the corridor.

Draco approached the door warily, waiting to hear something.

After what felt like an infinity, Narcissa called out to him.

"Come out!"

The corridor was empty for now, but they could both hear voices and footsteps from afar. Although she was a complete wreck, Narcissa found the power within her to lead him down the corridors without even flinching every time it seemed someone was coming their way.

They were getting closer to Draco's rooms, when upon turning a corner, they found themselves face to face with Mulciber.

"Narcissa? Draco?" he began, "is there a problem with - "

"Imperio!" Narcissa shouted before he could draw up his wand.

"You'll forget what you've seen and you will never tell anybody," she stated calmly, although her entire body was shaking. "Now leave."

Mulciber crouched down in pain and half-walked, half-stumbled down the corridor.

Draco stared at his mother in wonder and admiration.

"That...that felt about right," Narcissa mumbled, gripping her wand tightly. "Let's hurry."

Once in his room, Draco collapsed with Granger's still body on his bed and Narcissa quickly locked the door and sank into one of the nearest armchairs.

"Draco, you must know this is mad. Completely mad. There's no way out of this. You'll have to bring her to him at one point, it's inevitable," Narcissa told him, lighting the fire in the fireplace with her wand.

"I know that," he spoke precipitately, "I know I have to bring her to him - But she's half dead already and I know you think this is reckless and stupid, but I can't, I can't just let her die. It's not right - I've known her for so long...it's almost a matter of principle."

Narcissa looked at him with pity in her eyes. She smiled sadly.

"What about the others? You think saving one is enough?"

"It's not about saving anyone. I couldn't save them anyway. I just want to make sure she won't die. Not right now. At least if I could keep her here..." he blabbered on nervously.

"But it doesn't make any sense, Draco! One way or another, she will die! He will not spare her and you know it! You are only making matters worse!"

"I know! I know! But there must be something I can do. It's been a year and all this sodding time I've watched in silence and I can't - I can't take it anymore," he said hoarsely.

Narcissa shut her mouth and nodded her head in understanding. She was on the verge of breaking down too and the only thing that kept her from falling over the edge was her son. As long as he was alive, she had a reason to keep going.

She suddenly got up and wiped the tears from her eyes.

"They will probably think ill of my absence. I must go see if they are asking for me. They probably are. I will let you know if anything has happened. I will tell them you were not feeling well. Draco... wait for me," she said, straightening the folds of her dress.

With that she was gone.

Any warmth that the fire might have provided extinguished with her.

Draco was left alone, helpless and alone.

He knew all too well his father wouldn't allow his mother to return to him. And he would be called up soon as well, whether he felt like it or not. Everyone had to witness Harry Potter's capture. Everyone had to be there for the celebration. The Dark Lord would want him standing next to Lucius.

He stared at the girl lying lifeless next to him. She was sprawled on his bed, one arm dangling on the floor, her white ashen face smeared with blood and dirt, her hair strewn over his pillow like a crown. She had never looked more helpless and yet more determined. Her jaw was clenched and even in her unconscious sleep, her eyebrows were tightly knit, as if she was already devising a plan to escape. This was definitely Granger even though he could barely recognize her.

The room was growing smaller and smaller.

He had never been this close to panic. He was terrified.

Despite all this, he knew he could do one simple thing and be over with it. He could just take her to the dungeons, like he had promised. He could let go of this weight, he could go back.

He looked into the fire. There was only despair waiting for him ahead. Even if he let Granger go, he would go back to a life of misery and punishment. Eternal humility, eternal servitude.

The terror would never go away. And he would never be happy again.

So really, this made no difference. Whatever he did couldn't be worse than what was being done to him already. Isn't that why he had got up, after all? Isn't that why he had lifted her from the floor, why he had carried her all the way to his room?

Wasn't it a natural reaction? You get hurt, you fight back.

He was tired of never fighting back.

Could he turn back now? To the same hellish existence? No.

There was a time when he could have, but there was no point now. It was just as bad here as anywhere else, if not worse. Against Voldemort or with Voldemort, Draco would still be miserable, but at least he would be miserable knowing he had done something, unlike everyone else.

Might as well do it then. Might as well make the big jump.

And when his eyes suddenly travelled to the door next to the fireplace, the solution came to him in a heartbeat.

The Vanishing Cabinet was there waiting for him.

His father did not know about this purchase, but after his Sixth Year, he had ordered Borgin to bring it to the manor. He had wanted to have a means to return home from Hogwarts and vice versa without anyone noticing. His mother's state was aggravating and he needed to be there more often. At the time, no one had minded him and he had not considered the possibility of running away, but it was becoming more and more clear now.

He looked at the heavy thing in disgust. He would be lying if he didn't admit he had taken it with him just to be sure he was the only one using it.

He just hoped now no one had destroyed the remaining cabinet at Hogwarts. If his estimations were correct, it had to be in the Room of Requirement. Unless someone had removed it from there, which was quite likely.

Either way, it couldn't be far off. And he had to take her to the Infirmary or at least somewhere safe.

He touched her forehead with the back of his palm. She was burning up. He found his knuckles smeared with her blood. He chuckled bitterly. The notion of blood seemed so insignificant now. Far away from him, locked in the recess of his mind, somewhere he couldn't reach, some place where he was already dead.

He went over to one of the tables next to the window and ripped a piece of his bed sheet, soaking it in the water from one of the glasses.

He then pressed it to her forehead, hoping it would help.

She did not stir, but he had not expected she would.

Draco then opened the Cabinet's door. It creaked ominously. Inside, darkness awaited.

The feelings of dread and excitement mingled in his throat.

He ransacked his drawers for any supplies he could take with him, anything that could help her. He didn't find much but the few objects he thought he might use he dumped in a small bag under his bed.

Surveying his room for one last time, the remaining doubts began to torment him again. He was once again tempted to leave Granger in the dungeons and hope his father and Voldemort would have mercy on him. He even pictured himself kneeling in front of them in remorse, his eyes cast towards the floor, awaiting his punishment, as he had done many times before - and then - and then his entire body flinched and his eyes turned red with pure seething anger. Fury shook his heart in powerful waves, one after the other, and the sudden need to kill, to avenge, to escape made him fling the Malfoy ring into the fire. He pressed his hands to his eyes, trying to let go. He wanted them dead. He wanted them dead and he couldn't help it.

He reminded himself again that whatever happened would not be worse. And that nothing mattered anymore.

Draco hauled Granger over his shoulder again, supporting her back with his hands as he carefully carried her into the Cabinet, shutting the door behind them.

Inside, he uttered the spell that would make them disappear.

"Harmonia Nectere Passus!"

Hope you liked it! Please let me know :)