A/N Just a short, silly thing I wrote a little while ago. I hope you like it :)

To Arthur,

Hello! My names Alfred! My favorite colors are red and white and blue and I love hamburgers! I hear your from England, thats so cool! I hear Englands really great, not as good as America of course, but still! You have queens and you drink tea and it rains all the time, right? Are your teeth crooked? Heh, sorry, that was mean. I have dirty blonde hair and blue eyes, what do you look like? Do you play any sports? I play baseball, and I'm really good! I also play soccer and football and basketball, and Im still really good, but Im the best at baseball.

From,

Your friend Alfred

/

Arthur groaned as he finished reading his letter. His pen pal just had to be some cocky American kid. Why couldn't he have been lucky and got a nice Canadian pal like Francis? His grammar was atrocious, and he practically lived off stereotypes. Crooked teeth? Really? He even liked hamburgers for god's sake. And what the heck was he talking about with the word...'soccer'? Sighing, Arthur picked up his pen and began to write a response.

/

Dear Alfred,

Hello, I'm Arthur. I like pudding and doing magic tricks. America sounds interesting. We have a queen, and it rains often. I enjoy tea much more than coffee, and no, my teeth are not crooked. How hot is it in America? I hear in the summer it can go up to fifty degrees. I have light blonde hair and green eyes. I play cricket, but only recreationally. By soccer, do you mean football? Do you have any hobbies? I enjoy reading. Harry Potter is my favorite book series, what's yours?

Sincerely,

Arthur

/

Alfred slammed his letter onto his desk with vigor, before turning to his best friend Matthew, eyes wide. "Matthew, Matthew! There been a mistake!" he cried. "I have the most broringest pen pal to ever exist! Can we trade? Please?"

Matthew looked up from his letter to stare at Alfred. "Why?" he asked softly.

"Well, first of all, he likes tea more than coffee! Sure, I know hes British and all, but really! Teas just like, like, flavored water or something! That's gross! And the only sport he plays is cricket! No basketball or baseball or football or even hockey! He didn't even know what soccer was! Why does he play an insect?!" Alfred had to stop and take a few breaths, and Matthew just waited patiently, as Alfred's frenzied rants were normal occurrence for the two of them. "Oh, oh! And he thinks fifty degrees is hot! Like, really hot! Is it that cold in England?! And he likes to read! Read! What a nerd! How could I have been paired up with a nerd! He even likes Harry Potter! You gotta help Matt!"

When Alfred's wild tangent was done, Matthew finally had a chance to open his mouth. "Slow down, Al," he said quietly, his volume a stark contrast to Alfred's earlier speaking.

"But I have to explain the extent of his boringness!" He exclaimed, exasperated.

"Okay, okay, but Alfred? You know they use Celsius, not Fahrenheit, in England, right?" Matthew asked.

"What? What's a...Celsios...?" Alfred looked so genuinely confused, Matthew didn't have it in him to be frustrated with him.

This pen pal thing was really working out.