I do not own the characters nor the world of Naruto. Please enjoy my take on this particular pairing, though!

xXx

The Mission

"Oh, come on, Kakashi," Tenzo teased good-naturedly. "We all know you have commitment issues, but I promise not to take advantage of you." The usually serious man winked while Tsunade and Shizune stifled their laughter with the backs of their hands. Kakashi glared at the three before directing his gaze downward, staring at Tenzo's signature on the paperwork before him. His eyes darted to the heading of the form: "Application for Licensure of Legal Marriage".

"So, our famous Copy Ninja has faced dozens of S-ranked criminals and survived, but is afraid of a little commitment?" Tsunade teased.

Kakashi turned furious eyes back at her. "Kinda hard to be afraid of something that isn't real," he said through clenched teeth.

"Come on, Kakashi, just man up and sign the damn form," Tsunade said, her irritation showing as her patience started to wear thin.

"I just don't understand why this is necessary, Lady Tsunade. Can't we just lie and say we just married? Do we actually have to go through the motions? I highly doubt they're going to check."

Tsunade glared at him. "We can't take any chances. Plus, it's not like the paperwork will ever actually get filed. It will have started to "process" and you two will be back by the time it would be completed and the processing will get cancelled."

"Come on, Kakashi. It's hardly the worst thing we've had to do for a mission," his friend said gently, trying to appeal to his friend's sense of logic and duty to his village.

Kakashi sighed, quietly enough that they couldn't hear. As uncomfortable as he was with the situation, he knew his friend and Tsunade were right. He was being unreasonable. But he wasn't about to give in that quickly. After all, he had a reputation to consider. "So, what all does the pretense of 'being married' for this mission entail, then?"

Tsunade just gave him a blank look. "What do you mean?"

Kakashi sighed again, this time for them to hear. He pretended it was out of exasperation at them and not nerves. "Well, do we have to show each other affection, or… you know…"

Tsunade looked confused for a second, and then got a horrified look on her face. "Oh, GOD, Kakashi! I should have expected as much from you! Those damn books have warped your mind!" she cried. Tenzo looked momentarily confused at her outburst, until he understood what Tsunade had picked up on. A crimson blush stained his cheeks all the way down onto his neck and he stared resolutely at the floor. Tsunade continued. "And as for your question, no. You are not required to fuck each other. That being said, you will need to sell the act. Some light hand-holding when in public, having a room with only one bed, that sort of thing."

Kakashi just looked from her to Tenzo, who was still blushing so hard that Kakashi was surprised he couldn't see steam rising from the embarrassed ANBU.

"Look, I'm sorry it has to be you two, but you are the only two who are qualified that I think can pull it off. That being said, if you can't sell it, Kakashi, I'll assign someone else." Tsunade said, her voice heavy with disappointment as she moved to take the form from in front of him.

Kakashi moved quickly. "No, it's fine. I can do this. I may not like it, but that's the mission, right?" Kakashi may be uncomfortable with the situation, but he would be damned if anyone found out that he had refused a mission for such a stupid reason.

Tsunade grinned, and Kakashi found himself wanting to punch the smirk right off her face. She had been playing him like a fiddle since he came in, and he found himself very irritated with his Hokage. "Excellent. If you'll just sign here…" She handed him a pen and pointed at the appropriate line. Kakashi signed the form without even looking at where he was signing, his eyes busy glaring at the Hokage as he intentionally made his signature unnecessarily large and messy. Tsunade just kept smiling serenely at him, as though she were perfectly innocent in this whole mess.

He put the pen down, looked to Tenzo, and said, "Meet at the gates in one hour." Tenzo, still horribly embarrassed by Kakashi's earlier question, just nodded at the floor, unable to look into the eyes of his senpai after such a ludicrous suggestion. With that, Kakashi strode from the room, head held high.

Tsunade turned to Tenzo. "You are dismissed." The man nodded at the floor again before disappearing in a puff of smoke. As soon as they were gone, Tsunade busted out laughing at the situation she had put two of her most serious and emotionally damaged shinobi in. Being the Hokage was a stressful job, so she had to take her amusement where she could get it. Although, she'd be lying if she said she didn't hope the two reaped some benefits from the mission. After all, although she did enjoy tormenting her subordinates, she inherently cared about all of them, and the way Tenzo and Kakashi shut everyone out concerned her. She was hoping that the intimacy of having to fake a relationship may open the two up to realize that it might not be so bad for them to find partners.

xXx

Tenzo growled in frustration. As usual, Kakashi was late. Tenzo had arrived at the meeting place five minutes early, as his belief was that a true shinobi should be punctual. However, leave it to his senpai to prove him wrong while still having the ability to run circles around him in terms of skill. It had always been a source of frustration to him that his friend constantly challenged his personal definition of a shinobi. In his mind, a shinobi should be the three 'P's: punctual, professional, and powerful. Kakashi was only one of those, and yet… he was a stronger shinobi than most of Konoha's regular forces combined. However, Tenzo had never had the strength of will to confront his senpai on the matter. After all, he had saved his life when Danzo had planned to execute him for insubordination. Since that day, Tenzo had never really felt he had the right to tell the man that his way was wrong, since if Kakashi had followed his own provisions for a shinobi, he would have died at 14.

However, that didn't stop him from expressing his frustration at Kakashi's lack of both punctuality and professionalism when the man finally did show up, nearly four hours late.

"Yo," Kakashi greeted, waving one hand while directing a crinkle-eyed smile at his kohai. He received a glare in response.

"Where the hell have you been? I've been waiting for hours!" Tenzo yelled, his frustration boiling over into full-fledged anger.

Kakashi chuckled lightly. "After all the missions you've been on with me, you should just expect that I won't be on time, Tenzo," he teased. "Now, come on. We need to leave now if we want to reach the village by nightfall."

"Would've had plenty of time to get there if you would've been on time," Tenzo grumbled as he picked up his pack from where he had dropped it while waiting for Kakashi.

"What was that?" Kakashi called over his shoulder, his voice sounding sweet as he feigned innocence.

"Nothing," Tenzo grumbled. As much as he would love to confront the man, he knew it would do no good. After all, the Copy Ninja was well-known for being as stubborn as he was powerful. So instead, he just sighed and trailed after the man, wondering how the hell he hadn't been beaten to death by some of the other ninja of the Leaf village yet. He smiled at the thought of some of the reactions he imagined his comrades would have at Kakashi's tardiness, and amused himself for most of the journey with mental images of Kakashi meeting his comrades wrath at his lack of professionalism. He particularly liked it when a certain purple-haired kunoichi was the one whose reaction he imagined… After all, Anko's rage was certainly amusing to all those who hadn't fallen victim to it.

When they finally reached the village, Tenzo was too tired to do anything but fall onto the king-sized bed that was the predominant occupant of their hotel suite. As per mission details, they had been given the honeymoon suite, which was actually quite nice. It included a whirlpool tub that sounded amazing to try out, and Tenzo fully intended to take advantage of that as soon as he was done resting his sore muscles. It wasn't that he had been very tired out by this mission, but he had just come off a rather grueling mission just a few days prior, and his body was still angry at him for some of the bruises and cuts he had received. The whirlpool may be just the thing he needed…

Kakashi raised his eyebrow at his friend's sigh as the down comforter poofed up around him when he flopped onto his back on the bed. "That good, huh?" he teased suggestively, causing the ANBU to shoot up into a sitting position, a blush already gracing his fair skin.

"Uh… yeah. It's p-pretty comfy. I'm gonna g-go take a b-bath…" he stuttered out quickly before rushing into the bathroom. Kakashi watched him go with curiosity before moving around the room to get himself settled in.

Tenzo closed the bathroom door and locked it, leaning against it in relief. For some reason, this mission had him on edge, even though there was next to no risk assigned to it assuming they played their cards right. He tried to calm his nerves. Dammit, why did Kakashi have to be so creepy all the time? Why couldn't he just act like a normal person, and not one of the heroes from those damn dirty books of his?

Tenzo sighed, heading over to the tub and running the water as hot as he could stand it. While the tub filled, he stripped off his clothes and stepped in, moaning in relief as the hot water started to relax his tense muscles. He lazed in the water, allowing his mind to wander as he unconsciously massaged his sore muscles under the water. He stayed in the tub until the water cooled, rinsing himself off with hot water from the shower after draining the tub as he quickly scrubbed his body clean.

He climbed out of the tub, and cursed silently as he toweled himself off, realizing that he had forgotten clean clothes in his haste to get away from his partner. He wrapped the towel around his waist and stepped out into the bedroom, hoping that Kakashi would already have fallen asleep. As it happened, no such luck. The man in question instinctively looked up at the sound of the door from the bed, where he had made himself comfortable under the covers with his Icha Icha, his pale chest bare and exposed as he leaned back against the headboard. He took in Tenzo's damp skin and barely covered body and smirked.

"You know, Tenzo, Lady Tsunade said 'appearances only'. You don't have to present yourself to me," he said, a teasing glint in his one visible eye. Tenzo blushed crimson as he muttered something about having forgotten clothes while he headed to his pack. He vaguely felt Kakashi's eye follow him for a moment before the man's attention returned to his book. When he was sure Kakashi wasn't looking, he pulled clean sweats out of his pack and dropped his towel, pulling his clothes on as quickly as possible.

He looked nervously at the bed, and Kakashi raised an eyebrow at him. "Are you coming to bed?" he asked, and Tenzo was pleasantly surprised to hear that there wasn't a drop of suggestiveness behind his voice. This was a situation that would get very awkward very fast if Kakashi decided to be his creepy, perverted self. He slowly moved the covers aside, careful not to uncover Kakashi (for all he knew, the man slept in the nude. And Lord knows he probably wouldn't have the shame to change his habits just for the sake of this mission), and he quickly dived underneath them. He turned slowly to his bedmate when he felt the man's curious gaze on him, and was met with the sight of one amused onyx eye.

"Who would have guessed that our oh-so-professional Tenzo sleeps commando?" Tenzo blushed furiously and flipped himself over so his back was to Kakashi, the covers gathered around his face. He heard a light chuckle behind him as Kakashi turned off his bedside lamp and settled deep into the blankets, as well. Tenzo didn't dare risk movement until he heard the sounds of deep, even breathing coming from behind him, turning on his back only when he was certain the man beside him was asleep. He turned to see the man sleeping peacefully beside him, breathing a sigh of relief that he was finally alone with his thoughts. It hadn't even been a full day, and the man was making him uncomfortable. This would be a long week…

xXx

The next morning, he awoke to an empty bed. 'Wow, Kakashi must get up early,' he thought to himself, looking around the room and finding no trace of the man anywhere. Just as he was thinking he should get up and go look for him, the man in question strode through the door of their room, handing Tenzo a cup of coffee from a local coffee shop. Tenzo was a little confused by the kind gesture, but smiled gratefully at Kakashi as he took the steaming cup. He took a sip and closed his eyes, allowing his enjoyment to read like a book on his face. This was good coffee. He felt eyes on him, and looked to find Kakashi watching him with amusement. He quickly rearranged his features. "Um… thanks."

Kakashi smiled. "Well, I always like to be nice to the men I spend the night with," he said suggestively. Tenzo blushed and instantly, his gratitude towards Kakashi boiled over into irritation.

"Why do you always do that?" he asked, glaring at Kakashi. The silver haired jonin just shrugged, ignoring Tenzo's question as he turned his attention to the mission at hand.

"So, what is our plan for this?" he asked, picking up the mission brief as if nothing had ever happened. Tenzo sighed. It was the best he was going to get.

xXx

The mission had been a simple one, gather information on a gang operating a human trafficking ring in a nearby spa town, kidnapping women there for bachelorette parties or girl's nights and the like. The cover was that they were a honeymooning couple, and they had been able to not only gather all the information they needed, but save several girls from the clutches of the kidnappers in the meantime. One of the very grateful girls, a woman by the name of Emi, was actually from the Leaf, here to meet some friends from the Cloud, where she had used to live. Kakashi and Tenzo agreed to take her home safely, as she was very shaken by the experience.

As they escorted the woman back to the Leaf, Kakashi couldn't help but smile to himself as he watched his oblivious friend talk at the woman as she hit on him shamelessly. Finally, when they stopped to take a break, Kakashi decided to do his friend a favor and point out the woman's interest. As expected, Tenzo blushed furiously and was unable to speak coherently to the woman the rest of the way back home. Kakashi released a sad sigh for his hopeless friend as he watched the pair interact awkwardly the rest of the way home. He really had been trying to help…

When they reached the gates, it was just after midnight. All Kakashi could think about was sleeping alone, in his own bed. Tenzo, for all his plusses as a bedmate, was definitely a cuddler, and that had made for some awkward mornings for Kakashi. Fortunately, he was able to wake up before Tenzo every morning and disentangle himself from the man's limbs, wrapped in complex patterns around his body. Though he had been sorely tempted to tease the man about his cuddling habit, he had decided that it could wait until they had returned home. But for now, he was going to sleep in. The Hokage had requested them to be debriefed at 8 am, but he smiled to himself, knowing that even the wrath of the Hokage wouldn't drag him out of bed before 10, if even then.