AN: Hi! This is for all of you who have read atrocious Mary-Sue stories and facepalmed because of said stories! This takes place in the summer of OotP, Harry's already in Grimmauld Place. I own nothing. Except my Mary-Sues.

The Warning Letter

Harry was helping clean out a cupboard at Grimmauld Place when Hermione rushed in, her face flushed.

"What's wrong?" Molly asked, noting Hermione's anxious look.

Hermione brandished a letter, panting for breath.

Harry took it from her and read it out loud.

"To the Order of the Phoenix,

The wizarding world is in grave danger. It is unknown whether the Dark Lord is behind this, but I will need all of you to co-operate. A plague has spread across the wizarding community, and it originates from the internet. It is known as the plague of the Mary-Sue's.

We are now threatened by this dangerous plague and all wizards and witches will be affected, including yourselves. Some may be affected more so than others, and some extreme cases might even become Mary-Sue's; carriers of this plague virus. The symptoms of Mary-Sue's are-

- acting out of character

- flawless looks

- adored by many people (of both the opposite and the same sex)

- an unexpected rise in grades

- is revealed to have a mysterious secret in their past

- tries to please everyone (and succeeds)

- if he/she does not succeed, they burst into tears or attempt another solution

- performs a great feat that cannot be performed by someone of his/her age (eg: apparating inside Hogwarts)

- has had/has a crush on at least one person whom he/she has never viewed as more than a friend (or even a friend)

It is your task to hunt down these Mary-Sue's and remove them, as the virus is contagious. Be warned though, take precautions not to fall prey to any extreme cases. In the case that you are turned into a Mary-Sue, there is a high possibility that you will have to be exterminated.

The effects of this plague have already begun. Be safe. Be prepared.

Yours sincerely,

Albus Dumbledore.

A silence fell across the room as the Order grasped the implications of this terrible news.

Slowly, they realised the small changes that had been taking place over the past few days. Harry's attraction for Cho had faded to the back of his head. Ron had grown a tad more aggressive and Hermione's hair was magically straightening a little every day.

"This isn't good!" Ginny panicked. "I don't want to be a Mary-Sue!"

She began sobbing. Everyone was shell-shocked. Ginny rarely ever cried.

Suddenly Ginny straightened. "Merlin's beard, I didn't mean to cry!" She pulled at her hair. "I'm turning into a Mary-Sue!"

Molly hugged her tightly. "No, you're not." She whispered comfortingly.

Sirius and Remus caught each other's eyes worriedly. Sirius felt a sudden spurt of affection for Remus. He tore his gaze away. Remus was his best friend, not... He shook his head as though to rid himself of the thought. The plague of the Mary-Sue's was messing with them.

He straightened firmly. "Listen, everybody. The best thing we can do is rely on our common sense to protect us from the plague. Keep a close eye on yourselves, so that you don't turn into a Mary-Sue. The Mary-Sue plague is also contagious." He took a deep breath. "So if you come across an extreme case, a complete Mary-Sue, remember to exterminate them."

Harry stared at him. "Sirius, all of us are affected! Should we commit mass suicide?"

Sirius shook his head. "We may be affected, but we have not made the entire transition. We are only partial Mary-Sue's. A fully transformed Mary-Sue is a threat to the wizarding world and must be removed, before he/she affects everyone around him/her."

Ron paled. "Bloody hell. How are we supposed to remove them?"

"Azkaban?" Harry suggested. "I don't think Dementors could be affected."

"Yes, and we should create a check-list for people, to see how many symptoms they have." Tonks said. "And we should have a separate watchlist for people with a large number of symptoms."

Arthur nodded. "Anyone with 6 or more of the symptoms should be placed on our watchlist."

"I think we should check each other as well." Hermione suggested. "I'll do Ron's checklist."

"I'll do Harry's." Ron agreed. "And Harry..."

"I'll do Ginny's." He offered.

Ginny looked slightly surprised. "And I'll do Hermione's."

Similarly, Molly and Arthur did each other's, Fred and George (so they could tell each other apart), Bill and Fleur, Remus, Charlie and Sirius, Tonks, Kingsley and Mad-Eye. Mad-Eye also offered to do Mundungus's, so nobody else had to.

"Now that that's settled." Bill said. "Let's get on with the work."

"The hunt for the Mary-Sue's has begun." Muttered Harry, picking up his duster.

AN: This was fun to write! I hope it was fun to read! DO let me know, because I plan on writing more. I'd LOVE to hear your ideas for this! There's so many angles to put in to this and play around with OOCness! This is loads of fun! REVIEW PLEASE! :D