It was the year 2005. YouTube had just begun.
That year, a black cab pulled into the center of a quaint little town, right at the end of a rainstorm. Its passenger, a girl named Ai, was about to live on her own for the first time. Well, actually, that wasn't quite true. Her roommate, she had been told, had already been there for some time, and they'd be sharing the whole house. Nonetheless, the feeling was quite the same. At least she wouldn't have to do all of the chores herself, though.
"Ah, looks like this rain be lettin' up," the green-skinned cabbie spoke up as the vehicle rolled to a stop. "Welcome to Denburg, Ai."
Ai looked around. A cobblestone path sprawled out a short distance in all directions. The buildings were plain, but they seemed like she could get used to them. There was one thing, however, that she was sure she'd never become accustomed to, and that was the trees.
The pears. Dear God, the pears. They were everywhere. Not a single other fruit to be found. Ai shuddered, hoping she'd find something more appetizing to eat. Not that that would be a huge issue in a seaside town inhabited entirely by talking woodland creatures.
Ai thanked Kapp'n for the ride and waved goodbye as he drove away. As she approached her new home, however, the first of many hiccups in her life plan reared its ugly head.
"Eighteen THOUSAND?! Whaddaya mean, eighteen thousand Bells?!" she yelled at the raccoon-looking creature in front of her.
"Yes, well..." Tom Nook explained, "Your roommate hasn't exactly been quick about paying the rent, hm? And since he doesn't appear to be home, I'll need you to work off some of the debt at my shop."
Ai brought her palm up to her forehead. "When I meet that guy, I swear I'm going to dump ice water on him in his sleep."
One long tutorial later, Ai ran out of the store, arms raised above her head in wild abandon.
"Ahh... after ten thousand years I'm free! It's time to conquer Earth!" She lowered her arms and thought for a moment. "Denburg. Whatever."
"Yeah, good luck with that," a voice said from behind her. Ai turned around and looked up, spying a boy dressed in a ninja outfit standing on the roof of Nook's Cranny.
"How did you just pop up like that?!"
"That's a secret!"
"Who are you, anyway?"
The boy jumped down to look Ai in the... uh, eye. "I'm Yu."
Ai raised an eyebrow. "You can't be me. I'M me. And I'm way prettier than you."
"No, my name is Yu! Y-U!"
"Why me indeed."
"Okay, now I know you're just messing with me."
Ai smiled devilishly. "Well, you stuck me with that gigantic bill, so in return, I decided I was going to give you a hard time about everything forever."
"Relax," Yu urged her. "Trust me, relaxation is the only thing this place really has going for it."
"What do you mean?" Ai asked.
"Denburg's one of those tiny, quirky towns that nobody ever comes to. Like Stepford, but not as creepy. Let me guess: You ran away from home too."
Ai sighed, an oversized sweatdrop appearing on her head. "Pretty much."
"Headed to a bigger city, I bet. That crazy kappa cabbie keeps confusing Denburg and Staggers. ...Hey, I think I just invented a new tongue twister!"
Ai interrupted him. "Actually, I really was headed here. After a while you get sick of helicopters and express trains at three in the morning."
Yu pondered for a moment, then raised a finger to denote he had an idea. "Say, how about we discuss this further over a cup of coffee? The museum has this great cafe in the basement. For some reason."
"Sure, why not?" replied Ai. The two of them began walking toward the museum.
"You know... I think I'm actually going to like it here," Ai spoke up again. Yu made a gesture halfway between a nod and a shrug. "Yep. You really can go forever without getting bored here."
Seven years later, they realized just how wrong that statement truly was.
"Ohmygodiamsosickofthistown!" Ai grumbled. In this case, Yu had to agree with her.
"Same furniture, same shops, same yearly cycle..." Yu counted his fingers, inasmuch as he could be said to have fingers. "It's like the only thing that changes are the neighbors, and they just get replaced by similar people!"
"And the food!"
"I know! If I have to go another day drinking nothing but coffee-"
"Please, Yu. I vowed when I moved here to go completely bonkers if I had to keep eating pears."
Their contemplation was interrupted by a knock on the door. Yu went over to the door and opened it wide. A white dog girl in a multicolored shirt greeted them.
"Hi there! It's been exactly seven years since you moved in, bow-WOW! I brought you something special to celebrate!"
"Finally something new!" Yu said with a sizeable hint of relief. "So what did you get?"
Daisy held up a large cup of a very dark liquid. "Brewster's newest menu item: The Pearspresso! It's pears AND coffee in one, bow-"
Ai and Yu began jittering and foaming at the lips. A faint muttering of "jibbly-jibbly-jibbly" could be heard.
"...wow?"
Daisy quickly ran out the door screaming as Ai and Yu dropped to the fetal position and began convulsing.
"Help! Somebody help! Ai and Yu just curled into a fetal position and started convulsing! I think they might be sick, bow-WOW!"
The townsfolk all came rushing to the house to find the words "LOCKED DOORS" painted on the door of Yu and Ai's mansion in the makeshift pear-coffee. Nobody was inside.
"Well, that does it," Nook said, looking thoughtful. "I think we all knew this was coming. It's been so long without anything interesting happening that if we don't do something soon, we'll all snap one by one! Timmy, Tommy, can you go to the bank and get some Bells out of of my ridiculously full savings account?"
"What for?" the creepy twins said in unison.
"...for?" Well, somewhat in unison.
"We're about to take up a new hobby, boys." A scheming look found its way onto Nook's face. "If you're going to go crazy, you might as well funnel it to something with the smallest amount of collateral damage, hm?" As he began laughing maniacally, lightning flashed in the background.
Tortimer quickly took an interest. "Wait, are you really going to-"
"You bet I am. I'll have it and the signal beam hooked up by tomorrow." Nook ran towards his shop. "Come, Timmy and Tommy! We have distressed citizens to save!" The three raccoon-things then headed off to do who-knows-what.
"Oh, I knew I never should have closed the town gates," Tortimer muttered worriedly. "Ever since that fateful day, they've been locked shut and nothing can open them!"
"Eh, who cares? There was nothing outside those gates anyway!" Phyllis said with her usual abrasive attitude. "I bet you that even if those gates get opened, there will be nothing outside them!"
Meanwhile, at the town gates, Copper and Booker returned from the cafe carrying cups of the new pear-coffee. They suddenly dropped their mugs in shock.
"Um... Is that-" Booker asked his partner nervously. Copper narrowed his eyes dangerously, like the loose cannon cop we all secretly know he is inside. "...Get Tortimer."
Yu and Ai stood in front of the town gates. Through the cracks in the doors, a bright light was emanating from inside...
Q: What's the deal with the locked doors?
A: It's a major plot point that will be revealed very soon.
Q: What exactly is Tom Nook planning?
A: You'll see. And it will be glorious.
Q: Are the pears going to turn into a running gag?
A: They already are.