Prologue.
"Ye Gods, surely we are doomed" cried the first Shinra guard, shortly before the top of his skull was removed by a viscous, splintering blow. Blood and brains spurted from the wounds, spraying through the air in a thick arc and splattering on the cold grey walls of the dock like a sick, twisted work-of-art. The semi-headless body then fell to its knees, causing yet more blood to spray through the air and splatter thickly onto the nine remaining Shinra guards, and to spatter lightly onto the bare arms, face and gore covered blade of the shadowy figure, who stood, motionless, in the cover of shadows. But despite the darkness, despite the complete absence of light where the stranger stood, it appeared to all intents and purposes that he was smiling.
"I wish I were an Orange" cried the second guard in panic, raising his gun towards the stranger and pulling the trigger. But no bullet left the gun, for in a millisecond of the soldier acting, the stranger had launched an attack that severed the gun barrel from the rest of the mechanism. The guard staggered backwards, dropping the gun to the floor and pissing his pants in fear, before a viscous attack from the mysterious stranger ripped his stomach open. Blood sprayed from the fissure, raining down on the cold steel floor, as his intestine spilled to the ground and where set upon by a strange Rat-Parrot crossbreed, that quickly entered the room, running across the red pipes that led to the door reading "Jenova."
The eight remaining Shinra guards staggered backwards, fear painted on their faces and the blood of the first two victims splattered on their uniforms. Not one thought to raise their guns, as they stared ahead in fear. From the cover of the shadows, the stranger's eyes glinted.
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The Shinra sub cut through the icy depths of the ocean like a bullet through a Jew, as behind it a dark shadow bore down. Inside the Submarine, red lights flashed and sirens blared in warning, as Crewmen ran frantically through the vessel itself. One ran through a glowing red corridor, through a door, and then slid down a steel pole to find himself in the deck, where the Captain stood motionless, looking through a periscope. The Crewmen stood at their posts in fear, sweat covering their faces and hands. One Crewman stood over a monitor, his face glistening with perspiration and his eyes watering. His face glowed green from the light the monitor gave off. As he watched the radar, he noticed the large, unrecognisable object growing steadily closer.
"Captain Rude, your orders" the first Crewman asked, looking towards the former Turk with a look of desperation.
Rude stood wordlessly for a moment, looking ahead at no particular object, before saying "Whatever we do, we must act now. We cannot wait for reinforcements, and we cannot risk any damage to our cargo." Rude paused his sentence, to touch his chin.
"We must assume the object is giving chase, and if it is giving chase, it must be hostile. We have no choice but to fire."
Rude turned to face his crew, a look of determination on his face. "Now let's smoke this mother fucker!"
"Right" said the crewmen, running to their various posts to prepare for combat.
Rude watched them running for a moment, before returning his gaze to the periscope. It only took a second to relocate the creature in the darkness. Whatever was chasing them was big, and was completely dissimilar to any other creature anywhere else on Gaia. It's eyes also glowed in the darkness as it swam quickly after the Shinra sub, almost featureless in the darkness. Rude swallowed, before saying almost inaudibly "I have a bad feeling about this."
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The annoyingly catchy and irrepressible, yet obviously homosexual and rabid tune we have learned to associate with that beacon of games and merriment, the Gold Saucer, rang out on twelve speakers atop the Gold Saucer itself, each the size of a thirty foot tumour. The Gold Saucer was, as usual, a hive of activity; as thousands of people played in the Wonder Square; watched Joe win at the Chocobo Races; soared in the Speed Square; frightened themselves in the Hotel and tested their strength in the Battle Square. The Gold Saucer was indeed the greatest, biggest, fullest and most Golden place on the entire planet.
Whilst those inside the Gold Saucer made merry, Dio walked bare-chested through its corridors, smiling with pride. He waved a greeting to whoever he saw, be it a child eating Candy Floss, or a wheelchair bound Buddhist choking to death on his own false teeth. Dio changed direction, so his path led to the Battle Square, but he suddenly felt a slight vibration. He glanced around. Nobody else seemed to have felt it, and so Dio shrugged it off. Then, by chance, he decided to look through one of the vast windows in the Gold Saucers side. Despite orange sky, and the flock of Jabber Jabber birds drew graffiti the mountain range to the East with the blood of a thousand virgins, there was nothing out of the ordinary. But still, Dio had a strange feeling…
Almost on queue, the Gold Saucer began to shake. At first it was only a minor vibration, then a mere tremble and then a shudder worthy of an Earthquake. The already heavily active corridors of the Gold Saucer became even more frantic, as it filled with annoying, screaming kids. But Dio chose not to run, for something else had caught his eye…
Rising from the sand, rising from the depths of Gaia itself, was a gargantuan creature, green and over two hundred feet tall, its eyes burning with the fires of hell. A dark shadow fell over the Gold Saucer as the creature stood to its full height, and the quirky, damn annoying music that we so consistently associate with the merriment and mischief of the Gold Saucer, scratched to a halt.
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"Cait Sith, sir, you should see this" said one Shinra soldier, over the intercom. His voice was caked in urgency. Cait Sith stared at the radio disdainfully, and protested "But I'm busy."
And then the cat went right back to constructing a "December" web site out of Marshmallows.
"But sir, you should definitely see this" said the soldier again. "Some men have just been killed by the docks. By… and it's obviously to early to tell, but early recognisance says that the… person that killed them was… him…"
Cait's eyes widened in fear.
"Gary Busshel? What does that bastard want? He already took my goddamn rock collection."
The soldier swallowed, and said "No sir, I mean… him…"
Cait's eyes widened in fear.
"Walt Disney? But we sent that bastard to hell in the battle of Woodstock. I should have known that the confines of hell were unable to hold him, I'm such a foooooooooooooooool."
The soldier began to scratch his head.
"No sir, neither of those two. You know, big ass bad guy, who tried to destroy the world…"
"Osama Bin Laden!!!!!!!!!!!1111111" Cait cried. "What does that world hating son of a bitch want now?"
"No, not Osama Bin Laden" frowned the Soldier.
"What? Ozzy Ozbourne? Isn't the sell out cock sucking bitch content with fucking the Queen and eating out of George W. Bush's ass?"
"No sir, not Ozzy Ozbourne."
Cait's eyes narrowed.
"Not…Hojo…"
"Warm…"
"President Shinra…"
"Warmer…"
"You mean…"
"Yes sir…"
"Surely not…"
"Yes sir…"
"But Kuja isn't even in this game."
"No sir, I mean, him… you know… Sephiroth."
"What? Hilary Clinton?"
"GOD DAMNIT!!!!!!!!!!!1111111 ARE YOU A FUCKING IDIOT?????????? IT WAS SEPHIROTH!!!!!!!!1111111 YOU KNOW, SEPHIROTH THAT BITCH THAT TRIED TO DESTROY THE PLANET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111111111111 IT WAS SEPHIROTH YOU FUCKING SICK FUCKING FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111111111111"
Cait smiled, before saying "Wow, that's cool."
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Yuffie wiped the sweat from her forehead, and turned to look toward the sun. It was masked by the thick foliage of the forest she was in, but shards of light still pierced the canopy. She was looking for a fight from something, anything, as long as it was a challenge. Truth be told, Yuffie was now so enormously strong that the only people who would prove a challenge in combat were the others in AVALANCHE or a Weapon on Speed. Whilst she walked, she heard a twig snapping behind her. Quickly turning to face whatever snapped the branch, she was greeted by a tall figure in a long Leather jacket. His yellow eyes glowed as he looked at Yuffie, and his blonde hair swayed in the breeze.
"Hell…" Yuffie said, but her greeting was cut short as a vast Cypress of flame surrounded her, circling and engulfing her form. It quickly dissipated, to reveal a very pissed off Yuffie.
"You son of a bitch" she cried, casting her own fire spell on the enemy. She watched as the fire engorged him, and quickly drew her throwing star in preparation for the battle ahead…
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The third Shinra guard died more easily than the shadowy figure had first predicted; he drowned in a puddle of his own vomit after witnessing the gory demise of his two allies, and fainting and vomiting. The fourth also died in similarly embarrassing circumstances, choking to death on a dislodged piece of skull, formerly of the first guard. The sudden, somewhat sporadic deaths of those two soldiers seemed to shock the remaining guards into alertness, and they readied their weapon and opened fire. Spent casings fell to the floor, and sparks flew from the metal walls of the Nibelheim reactor, but not a bullet hit the stranger, as he moved faster than the eye could see. Running forward, and spinning as he did so, he cut through the enemy ranks. Blood sprayed through the air from the wounds, as the guards shot each other in an attempt to kill the stranger. The guards dropped like flies, as the stranger dismembered and disembodied the guards, until finally the last guard fell. Blood rained down in some strange delayed reaction, as the stranger stood over the whimpering, bleeding guard.
"Where is Sephiroth?" the stranger asked of the dying guard. The guard seemed shocked by the question, and fixed the stranger with the strangest look you ever did see.
"Don't make me repeat myself," the stranger said, fixing a steely gaze on the soldier, and scratching his head.
"You don't know?" the guard said, coughing up blood. "You mean you really don't know? Sephiroth was destroyed, nearly a year ago."
"Lies!!!!!!!!1111," cried the stranger, bringing down his sword on the guards unprotected skull. His blade crumpled easily through the guards head, cutting it into two equal halves that sprayed blood and brains thickly through the air. The guard fell dead, spilling yet more blood to the ground. The stranger ran a hand through his black hair, a habit he had picked up many years ago.
Zack breathed heavily then looked towards the door reading "Jenova."
"Sephiroth" he hissed, before running up the stairs.
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"Sir Rude, our torpedoes are having little or no affect on the creature" said the Crewman, in a frightened tone. "Whatever we do, it just keeps on coming."
Rude fixed his eyes on the Radar, and frowned, before saying "It's getting closer."
Sure enough, the mass object was nearly on top of them, to such an extent they could hear it over the sound of the Submarines engines.
"Sir, your orders" the Crewman asked hurriedly, swaying nervously. Rude simply sighed.
"It's no use," Reno said forlornly, as the Sub suddenly jolted to a stop. The Crewmen were thrown forward, and screams of fear broke out, as a scraping sound surrounded the Sub. Then, there was a tearing sound, and the Sub began to fill with the ice cold ocean water. Screams and sirens rang out louder and clearer than before, as the panic stricken crew ran around trying to seal off the flooded areas. But it was no use, for the ship Submarine was at the mercy of the creature. The ship began to lurch, as its engines strained against the creature's grip.
"Sir Rude, please" said one teary eyed Crewman, but before he could respond, water began to flood into the bridge. The water was cold, and reeked of salt. One Crewman tried desperately to climb up the pole, but got only severe splinters and a Seal made of China and semen.
The Sub began to creak more violently than before, and the alarms all became strangely distant as Rude sat down.
"Twisted rice bomb" he said in dismay, as the Sub was ripped apart…
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"What in the name of Rodney's todger is that?" wondered Dio aloud, as he gazed at the towering monstrosity before him. It was a thick, tall clump of Asparagus, complete with leaves and a green stalk. Its mouth, nothing but a rip in its plant-flesh, its feet, nothing but juicy, tender lumps of plant ending in roots, its arms, thick stalks reminiscent of Brockley.
Asparagus Weapon cried in disdain as it observed the golden object before it, and in an amazing show of strength and dexterity, the creature smashed its fist through the cold coating of the building, crushing countless people between the viscous attack and the urine damp walls of the Speed Square. The sudden shock jolted that GODDAMN MUSIC back into life, and it rang out through the now empty corridors. It obviously was good for something though, for Asparagus Weapon cried again, looking to the heavens as it did so. Then, it turned, and walked in the direction of the Costa Del Sol, leaving the Gold Saucer in dismay.
The Golden globe, weakened by the Earthquake created when Asparagus Weapon emerged, and the viscous, all though somewhat impressive attack Asparagus Weapon had needlessly launched mere moments after emerging, began to shake. The movements were obviously amplified by the countless people running and screaming through the corridors, but now its foundations had been decimated, even the slightest gust of wind had an adverse affect.
Down below, in the Desert prison made of Quicksand and wind, Dyne squinted towards the fleeing creature.
"I'll be," he said, smiling.
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Cloud, Tifa and Johnny where sat in the Villa Cloud, drinking fine Malt Whisky.
"ThishwHiskYIsthEBeshTIHAvEevErtASTeD" said Johnny drunkenly, causing both Cloud and Tifa to laugh hysterically.
"YeaHItSOKAyaisNtIt???" replied Cloud groggily.
"SDSADKSAJHDASKD,ASHDSA,JDHSAKJDHKJFHSKFHSHVKJCVHJKVHCKJVHXCKVHCXKJVHCXKVXHC VKJXHKDFHSDKJHKJ HKJhkjHKjhKJHkjHjkhhkjhkjh kj h kj h kjh kj h kjh kj h kjh kj h kjh kj hkj h kjh kj hkjds dfs fd f ew $$$ AS AS As As sa as 34 445 e ewfd ds fd dfs d d dfdfs df fd dfs fdsf dsfd sfds saf aseyt yt ytr y tr yt rt y asdsdad dfdfsdfdfdfsfsdf fsdfsdfdsfds fdsfsdfsdfds fsdfsdfsdf fsdfsdfsdfds fsdfsdf f f f ff fffffffff ff fsdfsfsff sf sdfsdf sdfdsfsdfs fsdfsdf fdsfsdfsd fsdfsdfsd fsdfsdfsdf sdfsdfsdfds fdsfsdsdf sdfsdfsdfsdsdfsdfsd fdsdsdfs ddsfsdfsdf dsfdsffds 55 55 dfdsffds fd dfsdfs dfsdfs dsf dfs dfs fdfsdsfdsfsf fdsfdsfdsfds fdsfdfssdfdsf sfdfdsfdsfdsf dffdssfdsfd fdsfdsfdsfdsfsdd ry fdsfsd sfsdfsd dfsd sdfsdf sdf sdfds fsd fdsfdsfds fdsf sdfdsf dsfsdf dsfds fdsf st ret terter ttet b gfdgfd gdfgfd gdfgfd gdfgfd gdg fdgdg fdgfdg dfgdfg dgdf gdgdf gdfg fdgdf gdfg fdgfd gg d dsf sdfsd fds f sdf sdf aed r rew rwer wr rwr we 65 645 htrt yty tr ytr ye rt ytr y rt yt trtyty yty ty ty yt yt yt tyty yt yt yt yt yt yt yt" said Tifa.
"IthinKyOU'VehAdEnouGh" said Cloud, and Johnny nodded in agreement.
The Villa suddenly shook, and somewhere, there was a distant rumble. Cloud instinctively ran to the towards the window, but tripped over his head and landed in a flowerpot. He could still see outside the window from his vantagepoint though, and he flashed a smile.
The Villa shook again, and there was another rumble. Only this was closer.
Cloud suddenly gasped in horror as he saw the gargantuan Asparagus Weapon slowly approaching, and there was a sudden, intense pain in his head, and everything glowed red and then grew dark and he felt the sensation of falling falling falling and there was a voice.
"Cloud, are you listening?" said the voice, in an evil tone. "I'm calling you Cloud. I want you to follow my voice, to follow me to the Promised Land. I want you to slay any who try to stop you, I want you to silence that wretched Ancient Girl once and for all, and I want you to bring me two AA batteries."
And then Cloud cried in pain…
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"It was Sephiroth, all right" frowned Cait, as he witness the devastation his nemesis had wrought. A hundred soldiers had been massacred, blood was sprayed thickly over the walls of the room, and from a lack of spent casings, Cait knew their demise was swift.
The first guard had been beheaded. Blood was soaked into his uniform, and there was no sign of his head anywhere. The second guard had been cut in half at the waist, and a thick, dark pool of blood formed at the base of his severed torso.
The other guards had suffered similarly gory fates, and severed limbs were spread through out the blood-covered floor of the dock. In the last fallen guard, standing rigid, was Sephiroth's trademark Masamune. The air smelt of salt, and death.
"So, Sephiroth's back" Cait frowned. "I'll get in contact with the others. I'll need you to triple security, and contact Reno in Midgar. If Sephiroth is really back, then the world itself is in danger."
The soldier nodded; his face was pale in shock and disgust.
"Who identified the attacker as Sephiroth?" Cait asked suddenly. Turning to face the soldier.
"Funny you should ask" said the Soldier, scratching his head. "He's here now."
And then, from the shadows, emerged a figure Cait remembered well.
"Rufus?" he gasped, rubbing his eyes to make sure the figure before him was not a Mirage brought about by excessive alcohol consumption. It was not.
"Hey Reeve" said the former President of the Shinra inc, raising his hand in the air.
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Vincent walked through the warm forest air, in the vague direction of Cosmo Canyon. But he would turn away before he ever reached the city. He had no desire for human contact; his life of solitude had begun the day that he and AVALANCHE had slain Jenova and Sephiroth, and destroyed Meteor. Whereas the others (particularly Yuffie) had now begun to enjoy the life of Millionaire heroes, Vincent had shied from the public eye. Its not as though he even needed over people, he could feed himself, and if ever he felt the need, he could have a wank. All people did was annoy him, and so, solitude was the only logical solution. He had wandered the wasteland, training every day to become stronger, slaying ever creature he came across in a bid to strong enough to defeat the demon, strong enough to remain human. But it was a fight he was losing. He wished he could return to that mansion, return to his coffin, return to his nightmares in which Sephiroth still lived. But that was impossible. For now, at least, Vincent Valentine, former Turk, was stuck in his tragically altered body.
As he walked, a small clump of tumbleweed blew past, distracting him momentarily, and in that moment of distraction, a large shadow appeared above him, blocking out the sun completely, and casting a dark shadow over the sandy ground. Vincent quickly gazed skyward at the dark creature above him. It was dark without the sun, and Vincent could make out no detail but for the long, bat like wings and the bulky arms. Its eyes also glowed intently. It was like no creature he had ever seen, and dread filled Vincent's heart as he gazed skyward at the hovering Behemoth…
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"Elder Nanaki! Elder Nanaki! You must see this!" came an annoying cry, rousing Nanaki from his light sleep. The instant he awoke, he felt something was wrong. Then he looked to see his flaming tail had set his curtains on fire.
"BLAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111111111" he cried, running quickly round in circles. He ran so quickly, that the draft his body produced extinguished the flames, and caused the blackened curtains to fall to the floor. Nanaki allowed himself a smile of relief, but his smile faded as he gazed out of the window to see the vast hovering creature outside. It was Cheese Weapon, and as the creature fixed his glowing eyes on the Canyon, a sadistic smile formed on its face…
Deep below the canyon, in the cold stale air of the caves of Gi, there was a slight tremor. Dolatre strained his eyes to see through the darkness, as he stood, trying to translate the ancient writings carved into a rock. But the lettering had been faded by the years of wind and urine, and in the dim light of a torch, they were almost unrecognisable. Almost…
There was another slight tremor, as Dolatre stood transfixed by the ancient writings.
"I don't believe it" he said out loud, a look of terror forming on his face. He began to read again, in case he had been mistaken.
"A year and a day after the Darkest Magic and the Calamity From The Skies have been silenced, there will come another threat. Five Weapon, each a TRILLION times stronger than any Weapon before shall awaken, to herald the End Of Days, and the arrival of…"
Dolatre's sentence was cut short, as his head was taken clean off. Behind him, stood a spectre of the Gi, an evil smile on his face. All around him, the souls of the fallen pulled themselves from rocks and the ground, until an enourmous spectral army stood, glowing white in the darkness.
"Behold, the arrival of The Magnificent One" laughed the first spectre, and the ghost fixed their eyes on the steel door that led into the city itself…
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Yuffie's attack was easily avoided by the stranger, who quickly cast another fire spell on Yuffie.
"Ow" she moaned. "This guy is pissing me off."
She cast an Ice spell on the stranger, and breathed deeply as it consumed him, before shattering.
"Your attacks are weak" said the stranger suddenly, in a voice younger than his face would suggest. His comment evoked a fair reaction from young Yuffie.
"What the hell? I'm gonna end this now." And when she had said this, she quickly summoned Knights Of The Round. Just before Yuffie disappeared, she smiled sweetly at the stranger.
The stranger was hit by wave after wave of the magic knight's attacks, eventually climaxing in King Arthur's attack of devastating power. Everything became white, and the stranger felt as though he were falling…
When Yuffie reappeared she saw the stranger with a large grin on his face.
"WHAT THE HELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111111111111" Yuffie cried in disbelief.
Without saying anything, a pinning rotating red haze surrounded the stranger, and he screamed "Heavens Fury" as loudly as he could. Then, he ran forward, and defeated Yuffie Kisaragi with a single angered attack. Yuffie's bleeding, bruised form fell to the floor, and the stranger allowed himself to laugh. He shook his head and walked away, leaving Yuffie for dead. And as she lay there, bleeding profusely, she thought she heard a distant noise…
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cold, cold, cold, cold, cold, cold, cold, cold, cold, cold, cold, cold, cold… moving, moving, moving, moving, moving, moving, moving… cold, cold, cold, cold, cold, cold, cold, cold, cold, cold, cold, cold, cold… moving, moving, moving, moving, moving, moving, moving…
Getting lighter… warmer… can't… breathe… rising… rising, rising, rising, rising, rising, rising… daylight… my eyes hurt…
cold, cold, cold, cold, cold, cold, cold, cold, cold, cold, cold, cold, cold… moving, moving, moving, moving, moving, moving, moving… cold, cold, cold, cold, cold, cold, cold, cold, cold, cold, cold, cold, cold… moving, moving, moving, moving, moving, moving, moving…
Getting lighter… warmer… can't… breathe… rising… rising, rising, rising, rising, rising, rising… daylight… my eyes hurt…
rising, rising, rising, rising… warmer, warmer, warmer, warmer…can't breathe can't breathe can't breathe can't breathe can't breathe can't breathe can't breathe can't breathe can't breathe…
There was a slight rippled in the surface of the Ancient Pond, as a fallen Cetra ripped through its surface, gasping for breath. Water poured from her face and hair, back into the pond, as she breathed harshly. She looked at her surroundings with an expression of confusion on her face, before her shy brown eyes fell on the dome shaped building and her memory returned to her. She gasped in fear and surprise, and quickly swam to the side of the pond, pulling herself out onto the dry ground. There wasn't the slightest gust of wind around her, but she could taste the stale air. Her memory, like a vivid dream forcing itself back into her mind, slowly became less clouded, until she could finally control her thoughts again. Her hands trembled.
"C… Cloud…" Aeris gasped, shivering in the cold. "Cloud…"
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"What are you doing here..?"
I should ask you the same question.
"Huh..?"
What are you doing here, Cloud? In this house, in this town, with these people?
"… Drinking whisky…"
Apart from that?
"I think I'm pissing myself, I can't tell…"
You're losing yourself, Cloud. You are forgetting what you are, forgetting what you could be, what you should be. I can help you, Cloud. In my veins courses the blood of the Ancients.
"But how… I defeated you..?"
Death is not the end, Cloud. You of all people should know that.
"I… should?"
Proceed towards the Frozen North, towards your tomorrow, for there will be no tomorrow for anyone else. Do you understand?
"I… understand…"
You must kill the Ancient for me, Cloud. Do you understand that?
"I… understand…"
I'm leaving you Cloud. Don't forget what I said…
"I won't… Sephiroth…"
Cloud awoke to find himself on the deck of the Highwind, with three familiar faces looking down on him.
"You're lucky I was just comin' to visit your sorry asses" said Cid Highwind, a cigarette hanging from the corner of his mouth. "Because that fuckin' Weapon just fucked up your fuckin' town."
Cloud scrambled to his feet and looked over the deck to see the Costa Del Sol burning, and in the midst of the fire, a creature, huge and cheese- like. Cheese Weapon cried in victory, as smoke billowed from the remains of the once proud town.
I'm watching you, Cloud…
Cloud Strife began to cough and writhe, and he vomited over the side of the Highwind, as Cheese Weapon cried in victory, in jubilation, and somewhere in the back of his mind, Cloud felt Sephiroth's voice, urging him to journey North.
And so, our story begins…
Authors Notes.
Awesome, huh? It took me a whole damn day to get that right, but it was worth it. I hope you'll agree that it's pretty cool.
We have about ten awesome story lines going on, too.
What terrifying events caused a new species of Weapon to awaken?
What happened to Rude and the rest of the crew on the Shinra Submarine?
Why are Dyne and Rufus still alive? What happened to them?
More importantly, why have Zack, Aeris and Sephiroth come back to life?
Is Yuffie okay? Will she survive the strangers attack? Who was he, and how is it he was able to use a Limit Break?
Let me know what you think, because to be honest, I'm a review whore.
Until next time, "The AmberVoid."
"Ye Gods, surely we are doomed" cried the first Shinra guard, shortly before the top of his skull was removed by a viscous, splintering blow. Blood and brains spurted from the wounds, spraying through the air in a thick arc and splattering on the cold grey walls of the dock like a sick, twisted work-of-art. The semi-headless body then fell to its knees, causing yet more blood to spray through the air and splatter thickly onto the nine remaining Shinra guards, and to spatter lightly onto the bare arms, face and gore covered blade of the shadowy figure, who stood, motionless, in the cover of shadows. But despite the darkness, despite the complete absence of light where the stranger stood, it appeared to all intents and purposes that he was smiling.
"I wish I were an Orange" cried the second guard in panic, raising his gun towards the stranger and pulling the trigger. But no bullet left the gun, for in a millisecond of the soldier acting, the stranger had launched an attack that severed the gun barrel from the rest of the mechanism. The guard staggered backwards, dropping the gun to the floor and pissing his pants in fear, before a viscous attack from the mysterious stranger ripped his stomach open. Blood sprayed from the fissure, raining down on the cold steel floor, as his intestine spilled to the ground and where set upon by a strange Rat-Parrot crossbreed, that quickly entered the room, running across the red pipes that led to the door reading "Jenova."
The eight remaining Shinra guards staggered backwards, fear painted on their faces and the blood of the first two victims splattered on their uniforms. Not one thought to raise their guns, as they stared ahead in fear. From the cover of the shadows, the stranger's eyes glinted.
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The Shinra sub cut through the icy depths of the ocean like a bullet through a Jew, as behind it a dark shadow bore down. Inside the Submarine, red lights flashed and sirens blared in warning, as Crewmen ran frantically through the vessel itself. One ran through a glowing red corridor, through a door, and then slid down a steel pole to find himself in the deck, where the Captain stood motionless, looking through a periscope. The Crewmen stood at their posts in fear, sweat covering their faces and hands. One Crewman stood over a monitor, his face glistening with perspiration and his eyes watering. His face glowed green from the light the monitor gave off. As he watched the radar, he noticed the large, unrecognisable object growing steadily closer.
"Captain Rude, your orders" the first Crewman asked, looking towards the former Turk with a look of desperation.
Rude stood wordlessly for a moment, looking ahead at no particular object, before saying "Whatever we do, we must act now. We cannot wait for reinforcements, and we cannot risk any damage to our cargo." Rude paused his sentence, to touch his chin.
"We must assume the object is giving chase, and if it is giving chase, it must be hostile. We have no choice but to fire."
Rude turned to face his crew, a look of determination on his face. "Now let's smoke this mother fucker!"
"Right" said the crewmen, running to their various posts to prepare for combat.
Rude watched them running for a moment, before returning his gaze to the periscope. It only took a second to relocate the creature in the darkness. Whatever was chasing them was big, and was completely dissimilar to any other creature anywhere else on Gaia. It's eyes also glowed in the darkness as it swam quickly after the Shinra sub, almost featureless in the darkness. Rude swallowed, before saying almost inaudibly "I have a bad feeling about this."
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The annoyingly catchy and irrepressible, yet obviously homosexual and rabid tune we have learned to associate with that beacon of games and merriment, the Gold Saucer, rang out on twelve speakers atop the Gold Saucer itself, each the size of a thirty foot tumour. The Gold Saucer was, as usual, a hive of activity; as thousands of people played in the Wonder Square; watched Joe win at the Chocobo Races; soared in the Speed Square; frightened themselves in the Hotel and tested their strength in the Battle Square. The Gold Saucer was indeed the greatest, biggest, fullest and most Golden place on the entire planet.
Whilst those inside the Gold Saucer made merry, Dio walked bare-chested through its corridors, smiling with pride. He waved a greeting to whoever he saw, be it a child eating Candy Floss, or a wheelchair bound Buddhist choking to death on his own false teeth. Dio changed direction, so his path led to the Battle Square, but he suddenly felt a slight vibration. He glanced around. Nobody else seemed to have felt it, and so Dio shrugged it off. Then, by chance, he decided to look through one of the vast windows in the Gold Saucers side. Despite orange sky, and the flock of Jabber Jabber birds drew graffiti the mountain range to the East with the blood of a thousand virgins, there was nothing out of the ordinary. But still, Dio had a strange feeling…
Almost on queue, the Gold Saucer began to shake. At first it was only a minor vibration, then a mere tremble and then a shudder worthy of an Earthquake. The already heavily active corridors of the Gold Saucer became even more frantic, as it filled with annoying, screaming kids. But Dio chose not to run, for something else had caught his eye…
Rising from the sand, rising from the depths of Gaia itself, was a gargantuan creature, green and over two hundred feet tall, its eyes burning with the fires of hell. A dark shadow fell over the Gold Saucer as the creature stood to its full height, and the quirky, damn annoying music that we so consistently associate with the merriment and mischief of the Gold Saucer, scratched to a halt.
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"Cait Sith, sir, you should see this" said one Shinra soldier, over the intercom. His voice was caked in urgency. Cait Sith stared at the radio disdainfully, and protested "But I'm busy."
And then the cat went right back to constructing a "December" web site out of Marshmallows.
"But sir, you should definitely see this" said the soldier again. "Some men have just been killed by the docks. By… and it's obviously to early to tell, but early recognisance says that the… person that killed them was… him…"
Cait's eyes widened in fear.
"Gary Busshel? What does that bastard want? He already took my goddamn rock collection."
The soldier swallowed, and said "No sir, I mean… him…"
Cait's eyes widened in fear.
"Walt Disney? But we sent that bastard to hell in the battle of Woodstock. I should have known that the confines of hell were unable to hold him, I'm such a foooooooooooooooool."
The soldier began to scratch his head.
"No sir, neither of those two. You know, big ass bad guy, who tried to destroy the world…"
"Osama Bin Laden!!!!!!!!!!!1111111" Cait cried. "What does that world hating son of a bitch want now?"
"No, not Osama Bin Laden" frowned the Soldier.
"What? Ozzy Ozbourne? Isn't the sell out cock sucking bitch content with fucking the Queen and eating out of George W. Bush's ass?"
"No sir, not Ozzy Ozbourne."
Cait's eyes narrowed.
"Not…Hojo…"
"Warm…"
"President Shinra…"
"Warmer…"
"You mean…"
"Yes sir…"
"Surely not…"
"Yes sir…"
"But Kuja isn't even in this game."
"No sir, I mean, him… you know… Sephiroth."
"What? Hilary Clinton?"
"GOD DAMNIT!!!!!!!!!!!1111111 ARE YOU A FUCKING IDIOT?????????? IT WAS SEPHIROTH!!!!!!!!1111111 YOU KNOW, SEPHIROTH THAT BITCH THAT TRIED TO DESTROY THE PLANET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111111111111 IT WAS SEPHIROTH YOU FUCKING SICK FUCKING FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111111111111"
Cait smiled, before saying "Wow, that's cool."
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Yuffie wiped the sweat from her forehead, and turned to look toward the sun. It was masked by the thick foliage of the forest she was in, but shards of light still pierced the canopy. She was looking for a fight from something, anything, as long as it was a challenge. Truth be told, Yuffie was now so enormously strong that the only people who would prove a challenge in combat were the others in AVALANCHE or a Weapon on Speed. Whilst she walked, she heard a twig snapping behind her. Quickly turning to face whatever snapped the branch, she was greeted by a tall figure in a long Leather jacket. His yellow eyes glowed as he looked at Yuffie, and his blonde hair swayed in the breeze.
"Hell…" Yuffie said, but her greeting was cut short as a vast Cypress of flame surrounded her, circling and engulfing her form. It quickly dissipated, to reveal a very pissed off Yuffie.
"You son of a bitch" she cried, casting her own fire spell on the enemy. She watched as the fire engorged him, and quickly drew her throwing star in preparation for the battle ahead…
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The third Shinra guard died more easily than the shadowy figure had first predicted; he drowned in a puddle of his own vomit after witnessing the gory demise of his two allies, and fainting and vomiting. The fourth also died in similarly embarrassing circumstances, choking to death on a dislodged piece of skull, formerly of the first guard. The sudden, somewhat sporadic deaths of those two soldiers seemed to shock the remaining guards into alertness, and they readied their weapon and opened fire. Spent casings fell to the floor, and sparks flew from the metal walls of the Nibelheim reactor, but not a bullet hit the stranger, as he moved faster than the eye could see. Running forward, and spinning as he did so, he cut through the enemy ranks. Blood sprayed through the air from the wounds, as the guards shot each other in an attempt to kill the stranger. The guards dropped like flies, as the stranger dismembered and disembodied the guards, until finally the last guard fell. Blood rained down in some strange delayed reaction, as the stranger stood over the whimpering, bleeding guard.
"Where is Sephiroth?" the stranger asked of the dying guard. The guard seemed shocked by the question, and fixed the stranger with the strangest look you ever did see.
"Don't make me repeat myself," the stranger said, fixing a steely gaze on the soldier, and scratching his head.
"You don't know?" the guard said, coughing up blood. "You mean you really don't know? Sephiroth was destroyed, nearly a year ago."
"Lies!!!!!!!!1111," cried the stranger, bringing down his sword on the guards unprotected skull. His blade crumpled easily through the guards head, cutting it into two equal halves that sprayed blood and brains thickly through the air. The guard fell dead, spilling yet more blood to the ground. The stranger ran a hand through his black hair, a habit he had picked up many years ago.
Zack breathed heavily then looked towards the door reading "Jenova."
"Sephiroth" he hissed, before running up the stairs.
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"Sir Rude, our torpedoes are having little or no affect on the creature" said the Crewman, in a frightened tone. "Whatever we do, it just keeps on coming."
Rude fixed his eyes on the Radar, and frowned, before saying "It's getting closer."
Sure enough, the mass object was nearly on top of them, to such an extent they could hear it over the sound of the Submarines engines.
"Sir, your orders" the Crewman asked hurriedly, swaying nervously. Rude simply sighed.
"It's no use," Reno said forlornly, as the Sub suddenly jolted to a stop. The Crewmen were thrown forward, and screams of fear broke out, as a scraping sound surrounded the Sub. Then, there was a tearing sound, and the Sub began to fill with the ice cold ocean water. Screams and sirens rang out louder and clearer than before, as the panic stricken crew ran around trying to seal off the flooded areas. But it was no use, for the ship Submarine was at the mercy of the creature. The ship began to lurch, as its engines strained against the creature's grip.
"Sir Rude, please" said one teary eyed Crewman, but before he could respond, water began to flood into the bridge. The water was cold, and reeked of salt. One Crewman tried desperately to climb up the pole, but got only severe splinters and a Seal made of China and semen.
The Sub began to creak more violently than before, and the alarms all became strangely distant as Rude sat down.
"Twisted rice bomb" he said in dismay, as the Sub was ripped apart…
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"What in the name of Rodney's todger is that?" wondered Dio aloud, as he gazed at the towering monstrosity before him. It was a thick, tall clump of Asparagus, complete with leaves and a green stalk. Its mouth, nothing but a rip in its plant-flesh, its feet, nothing but juicy, tender lumps of plant ending in roots, its arms, thick stalks reminiscent of Brockley.
Asparagus Weapon cried in disdain as it observed the golden object before it, and in an amazing show of strength and dexterity, the creature smashed its fist through the cold coating of the building, crushing countless people between the viscous attack and the urine damp walls of the Speed Square. The sudden shock jolted that GODDAMN MUSIC back into life, and it rang out through the now empty corridors. It obviously was good for something though, for Asparagus Weapon cried again, looking to the heavens as it did so. Then, it turned, and walked in the direction of the Costa Del Sol, leaving the Gold Saucer in dismay.
The Golden globe, weakened by the Earthquake created when Asparagus Weapon emerged, and the viscous, all though somewhat impressive attack Asparagus Weapon had needlessly launched mere moments after emerging, began to shake. The movements were obviously amplified by the countless people running and screaming through the corridors, but now its foundations had been decimated, even the slightest gust of wind had an adverse affect.
Down below, in the Desert prison made of Quicksand and wind, Dyne squinted towards the fleeing creature.
"I'll be," he said, smiling.
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Cloud, Tifa and Johnny where sat in the Villa Cloud, drinking fine Malt Whisky.
"ThishwHiskYIsthEBeshTIHAvEevErtASTeD" said Johnny drunkenly, causing both Cloud and Tifa to laugh hysterically.
"YeaHItSOKAyaisNtIt???" replied Cloud groggily.
"SDSADKSAJHDASKD,ASHDSA,JDHSAKJDHKJFHSKFHSHVKJCVHJKVHCKJVHXCKVHCXKJVHCXKVXHC VKJXHKDFHSDKJHKJ HKJhkjHKjhKJHkjHjkhhkjhkjh kj h kj h kjh kj h kjh kj h kjh kj h kjh kj hkj h kjh kj hkjds dfs fd f ew $$$ AS AS As As sa as 34 445 e ewfd ds fd dfs d d dfdfs df fd dfs fdsf dsfd sfds saf aseyt yt ytr y tr yt rt y asdsdad dfdfsdfdfdfsfsdf fsdfsdfdsfds fdsfsdfsdfds fsdfsdfsdf fsdfsdfsdfds fsdfsdf f f f ff fffffffff ff fsdfsfsff sf sdfsdf sdfdsfsdfs fsdfsdf fdsfsdfsd fsdfsdfsd fsdfsdfsdf sdfsdfsdfds fdsfsdsdf sdfsdfsdfsdsdfsdfsd fdsdsdfs ddsfsdfsdf dsfdsffds 55 55 dfdsffds fd dfsdfs dfsdfs dsf dfs dfs fdfsdsfdsfsf fdsfdsfdsfds fdsfdfssdfdsf sfdfdsfdsfdsf dffdssfdsfd fdsfdsfdsfdsfsdd ry fdsfsd sfsdfsd dfsd sdfsdf sdf sdfds fsd fdsfdsfds fdsf sdfdsf dsfsdf dsfds fdsf st ret terter ttet b gfdgfd gdfgfd gdfgfd gdfgfd gdg fdgdg fdgfdg dfgdfg dgdf gdgdf gdfg fdgdf gdfg fdgfd gg d dsf sdfsd fds f sdf sdf aed r rew rwer wr rwr we 65 645 htrt yty tr ytr ye rt ytr y rt yt trtyty yty ty ty yt yt yt tyty yt yt yt yt yt yt yt" said Tifa.
"IthinKyOU'VehAdEnouGh" said Cloud, and Johnny nodded in agreement.
The Villa suddenly shook, and somewhere, there was a distant rumble. Cloud instinctively ran to the towards the window, but tripped over his head and landed in a flowerpot. He could still see outside the window from his vantagepoint though, and he flashed a smile.
The Villa shook again, and there was another rumble. Only this was closer.
Cloud suddenly gasped in horror as he saw the gargantuan Asparagus Weapon slowly approaching, and there was a sudden, intense pain in his head, and everything glowed red and then grew dark and he felt the sensation of falling falling falling and there was a voice.
"Cloud, are you listening?" said the voice, in an evil tone. "I'm calling you Cloud. I want you to follow my voice, to follow me to the Promised Land. I want you to slay any who try to stop you, I want you to silence that wretched Ancient Girl once and for all, and I want you to bring me two AA batteries."
And then Cloud cried in pain…
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"It was Sephiroth, all right" frowned Cait, as he witness the devastation his nemesis had wrought. A hundred soldiers had been massacred, blood was sprayed thickly over the walls of the room, and from a lack of spent casings, Cait knew their demise was swift.
The first guard had been beheaded. Blood was soaked into his uniform, and there was no sign of his head anywhere. The second guard had been cut in half at the waist, and a thick, dark pool of blood formed at the base of his severed torso.
The other guards had suffered similarly gory fates, and severed limbs were spread through out the blood-covered floor of the dock. In the last fallen guard, standing rigid, was Sephiroth's trademark Masamune. The air smelt of salt, and death.
"So, Sephiroth's back" Cait frowned. "I'll get in contact with the others. I'll need you to triple security, and contact Reno in Midgar. If Sephiroth is really back, then the world itself is in danger."
The soldier nodded; his face was pale in shock and disgust.
"Who identified the attacker as Sephiroth?" Cait asked suddenly. Turning to face the soldier.
"Funny you should ask" said the Soldier, scratching his head. "He's here now."
And then, from the shadows, emerged a figure Cait remembered well.
"Rufus?" he gasped, rubbing his eyes to make sure the figure before him was not a Mirage brought about by excessive alcohol consumption. It was not.
"Hey Reeve" said the former President of the Shinra inc, raising his hand in the air.
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Vincent walked through the warm forest air, in the vague direction of Cosmo Canyon. But he would turn away before he ever reached the city. He had no desire for human contact; his life of solitude had begun the day that he and AVALANCHE had slain Jenova and Sephiroth, and destroyed Meteor. Whereas the others (particularly Yuffie) had now begun to enjoy the life of Millionaire heroes, Vincent had shied from the public eye. Its not as though he even needed over people, he could feed himself, and if ever he felt the need, he could have a wank. All people did was annoy him, and so, solitude was the only logical solution. He had wandered the wasteland, training every day to become stronger, slaying ever creature he came across in a bid to strong enough to defeat the demon, strong enough to remain human. But it was a fight he was losing. He wished he could return to that mansion, return to his coffin, return to his nightmares in which Sephiroth still lived. But that was impossible. For now, at least, Vincent Valentine, former Turk, was stuck in his tragically altered body.
As he walked, a small clump of tumbleweed blew past, distracting him momentarily, and in that moment of distraction, a large shadow appeared above him, blocking out the sun completely, and casting a dark shadow over the sandy ground. Vincent quickly gazed skyward at the dark creature above him. It was dark without the sun, and Vincent could make out no detail but for the long, bat like wings and the bulky arms. Its eyes also glowed intently. It was like no creature he had ever seen, and dread filled Vincent's heart as he gazed skyward at the hovering Behemoth…
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"Elder Nanaki! Elder Nanaki! You must see this!" came an annoying cry, rousing Nanaki from his light sleep. The instant he awoke, he felt something was wrong. Then he looked to see his flaming tail had set his curtains on fire.
"BLAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111111111" he cried, running quickly round in circles. He ran so quickly, that the draft his body produced extinguished the flames, and caused the blackened curtains to fall to the floor. Nanaki allowed himself a smile of relief, but his smile faded as he gazed out of the window to see the vast hovering creature outside. It was Cheese Weapon, and as the creature fixed his glowing eyes on the Canyon, a sadistic smile formed on its face…
Deep below the canyon, in the cold stale air of the caves of Gi, there was a slight tremor. Dolatre strained his eyes to see through the darkness, as he stood, trying to translate the ancient writings carved into a rock. But the lettering had been faded by the years of wind and urine, and in the dim light of a torch, they were almost unrecognisable. Almost…
There was another slight tremor, as Dolatre stood transfixed by the ancient writings.
"I don't believe it" he said out loud, a look of terror forming on his face. He began to read again, in case he had been mistaken.
"A year and a day after the Darkest Magic and the Calamity From The Skies have been silenced, there will come another threat. Five Weapon, each a TRILLION times stronger than any Weapon before shall awaken, to herald the End Of Days, and the arrival of…"
Dolatre's sentence was cut short, as his head was taken clean off. Behind him, stood a spectre of the Gi, an evil smile on his face. All around him, the souls of the fallen pulled themselves from rocks and the ground, until an enourmous spectral army stood, glowing white in the darkness.
"Behold, the arrival of The Magnificent One" laughed the first spectre, and the ghost fixed their eyes on the steel door that led into the city itself…
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Yuffie's attack was easily avoided by the stranger, who quickly cast another fire spell on Yuffie.
"Ow" she moaned. "This guy is pissing me off."
She cast an Ice spell on the stranger, and breathed deeply as it consumed him, before shattering.
"Your attacks are weak" said the stranger suddenly, in a voice younger than his face would suggest. His comment evoked a fair reaction from young Yuffie.
"What the hell? I'm gonna end this now." And when she had said this, she quickly summoned Knights Of The Round. Just before Yuffie disappeared, she smiled sweetly at the stranger.
The stranger was hit by wave after wave of the magic knight's attacks, eventually climaxing in King Arthur's attack of devastating power. Everything became white, and the stranger felt as though he were falling…
When Yuffie reappeared she saw the stranger with a large grin on his face.
"WHAT THE HELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111111111111" Yuffie cried in disbelief.
Without saying anything, a pinning rotating red haze surrounded the stranger, and he screamed "Heavens Fury" as loudly as he could. Then, he ran forward, and defeated Yuffie Kisaragi with a single angered attack. Yuffie's bleeding, bruised form fell to the floor, and the stranger allowed himself to laugh. He shook his head and walked away, leaving Yuffie for dead. And as she lay there, bleeding profusely, she thought she heard a distant noise…
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cold, cold, cold, cold, cold, cold, cold, cold, cold, cold, cold, cold, cold… moving, moving, moving, moving, moving, moving, moving… cold, cold, cold, cold, cold, cold, cold, cold, cold, cold, cold, cold, cold… moving, moving, moving, moving, moving, moving, moving…
Getting lighter… warmer… can't… breathe… rising… rising, rising, rising, rising, rising, rising… daylight… my eyes hurt…
cold, cold, cold, cold, cold, cold, cold, cold, cold, cold, cold, cold, cold… moving, moving, moving, moving, moving, moving, moving… cold, cold, cold, cold, cold, cold, cold, cold, cold, cold, cold, cold, cold… moving, moving, moving, moving, moving, moving, moving…
Getting lighter… warmer… can't… breathe… rising… rising, rising, rising, rising, rising, rising… daylight… my eyes hurt…
rising, rising, rising, rising… warmer, warmer, warmer, warmer…can't breathe can't breathe can't breathe can't breathe can't breathe can't breathe can't breathe can't breathe can't breathe…
There was a slight rippled in the surface of the Ancient Pond, as a fallen Cetra ripped through its surface, gasping for breath. Water poured from her face and hair, back into the pond, as she breathed harshly. She looked at her surroundings with an expression of confusion on her face, before her shy brown eyes fell on the dome shaped building and her memory returned to her. She gasped in fear and surprise, and quickly swam to the side of the pond, pulling herself out onto the dry ground. There wasn't the slightest gust of wind around her, but she could taste the stale air. Her memory, like a vivid dream forcing itself back into her mind, slowly became less clouded, until she could finally control her thoughts again. Her hands trembled.
"C… Cloud…" Aeris gasped, shivering in the cold. "Cloud…"
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"What are you doing here..?"
I should ask you the same question.
"Huh..?"
What are you doing here, Cloud? In this house, in this town, with these people?
"… Drinking whisky…"
Apart from that?
"I think I'm pissing myself, I can't tell…"
You're losing yourself, Cloud. You are forgetting what you are, forgetting what you could be, what you should be. I can help you, Cloud. In my veins courses the blood of the Ancients.
"But how… I defeated you..?"
Death is not the end, Cloud. You of all people should know that.
"I… should?"
Proceed towards the Frozen North, towards your tomorrow, for there will be no tomorrow for anyone else. Do you understand?
"I… understand…"
You must kill the Ancient for me, Cloud. Do you understand that?
"I… understand…"
I'm leaving you Cloud. Don't forget what I said…
"I won't… Sephiroth…"
Cloud awoke to find himself on the deck of the Highwind, with three familiar faces looking down on him.
"You're lucky I was just comin' to visit your sorry asses" said Cid Highwind, a cigarette hanging from the corner of his mouth. "Because that fuckin' Weapon just fucked up your fuckin' town."
Cloud scrambled to his feet and looked over the deck to see the Costa Del Sol burning, and in the midst of the fire, a creature, huge and cheese- like. Cheese Weapon cried in victory, as smoke billowed from the remains of the once proud town.
I'm watching you, Cloud…
Cloud Strife began to cough and writhe, and he vomited over the side of the Highwind, as Cheese Weapon cried in victory, in jubilation, and somewhere in the back of his mind, Cloud felt Sephiroth's voice, urging him to journey North.
And so, our story begins…
Authors Notes.
Awesome, huh? It took me a whole damn day to get that right, but it was worth it. I hope you'll agree that it's pretty cool.
We have about ten awesome story lines going on, too.
What terrifying events caused a new species of Weapon to awaken?
What happened to Rude and the rest of the crew on the Shinra Submarine?
Why are Dyne and Rufus still alive? What happened to them?
More importantly, why have Zack, Aeris and Sephiroth come back to life?
Is Yuffie okay? Will she survive the strangers attack? Who was he, and how is it he was able to use a Limit Break?
Let me know what you think, because to be honest, I'm a review whore.
Until next time, "The AmberVoid."