This is a oneshot that I actually wrote like four and a half years ago and found recently after going through some old documents. I figured I've kept it for this long, I might as well just put it up. Hope you enjoy it!
"You love me, don't you?" It was a statement more than a question.
He grunted.
"Honey…"
Another grunt.
"Baby…"
Again, a grunt.
"Chrissy Muffin…" she sing-songed, lifting her head from his shoulder.
"What, woman?" he finally spoke, voice thick with sleep
"Do you love me?"
"Yes."
She paused. "That's it? 'Yes'?" she practically spat the word, shooting up.
"That's it. Can I go back to sleep now?" He reached out to pull her back down to him.
"No!" she shrieked with that infamous voice, swatting at his hand.
He sighed. "Alright, what would you like me to say?"
"It's not what I would like you to say. It's what you think I would like you to say."
"Is this really necessary at… three-thirty in the morning?"
"Well, if you had just answered me the first time, we wouldn't have to have this whole conversation about it."
"You mean a conversation about how even though you wake me up in the middle of the night to have the most ridiculous of conversations, I still love you?"
"I like to think of them as philosophical…"
"And how even though you're going to turn my son into the laughing stock of the school by putting him in dance classes, I still love you?"
"We compromised that he could start hockey once he has a growth spurt!"
"And about how even though your father and brother drive me crazy talking about how amazing Paul is after all these years, I still love you?"
"That one's not really my fault…"
"Or how about the fact that even though you're a brutal, dirty, disgust– ow!"
"I hate you."
"You're the one who wanted to have this conversation."
Nothing.
"Baby?"
No response.
"Honey?"
Silence still.
"Pooter."
"I hate that name."
"And you think that I like the pet name you gave me after my muffin top?"
"It's just a baby muffin top. Besides, it's more okay for guys to have a muffin top than a girl."
"I didn't think it was okay for anyone to have a muffin top."
"Well, your wrestling briefs are really tight. It wouldn't be fair to judge you for it."
"Do you think they're too tight? Do you think people think I've gotten fat?"
"No. You're perfect just the way you are."
"I don't believe you. You're just saying that because we're married and you would never admit to having a fat husband."
"I would also never allow my husband to get fat." He could hear the smirk in her voice.
"Point taken."
"Will you change my nickname?" she asked in a small voice.
"Will you change mine?" he shot back.
"No."
"Then, no."
"Please?" she persisted, a slight whine in her voice.
"No."
After a heavy few seconds of silence, he felt her gently lay her hand on his stomach, palm open. She began curling her fingers pressing her nails into the flesh, slowly dragging them downwards. "Pretty please?" she continued, her voice taking on a seductive smoothness.
He could just imagine her biting her lip as she stared up at him through thick lashes with big brown eyes, and he felt her hands reach the top of his sweat pants.
"Please?" she repeated, firmly grasping the elastic.
He forced himself to steel his resolve. "No."
Displeased with the answer, she pulled the band as high as possible before releasing it remorselessly. Forcefully lying back down, she turned her back to him and scooted as far away from him as possible.
After checking that nothing valuable had been snapped, he rolled his eyes, thankful that the lights were still out, and pressed himself against her back, wrapping his arms around his wriggling wife as best as possible.
"No!" she said spitefully, pulling and pushing at the wrestler.
"Baby, stop acting like… a baby," he grunted, struggling in his attempt to still her. She may not have been strong enough to break his hold, but she was tenacious enough to keep trying. Following her into a particularly strong pull to get away, he managed to throw them into an even stronger pull back in the opposite direction that ended with them both on their backs, her on top of him.
He felt her sigh and go limp.
She felt his arms loosen around her. And took advantage, throwing herself off him.
Unfortunately, his reflexes were too fast and his arms reclaimed their hold on her.
Even more unfortunately, she had put too much force into the roll and the two flew off the bed in a heap.
"You know, baby, I think that deserves a new nickname," he announced, pushing himself onto his elbows.
"And what's that?" she questioned cautiously, lifting her face off the floor.
She could feel the smirk radiating off him. "Roly Poly."
"You want to name me after a bug?! Then you get to be named-"
Deciding that he really did not want to spend his precious sleeping time arguing about nicknames, or his son's athletic future, or muffin tops, he decided to shut her up and initiate about the only thing for which he would sacrifice sleep.
"Can we at least get back on the bed?" she interrupted the kiss.
"Woman," he growled.
"I promise I'll make it worth your while," she purred into his ear.
Standing up, he reached down to pull her up to her feet as well. He then lifted her by the waist and nearly threw her back onto the plush bed before climbing on top. "I love you so much that even after you wake me up from my very good dream about you, and whine, and insult my manliness by calling me 'Chrissy Muffin,' and throw me off the bed, and nearly castrate me with my own pants, I still want to ravish you like it's our first and last night at the same time." He kissed her breathless. "You are the mother of my child. You are my best friend. You are the smartest, sexiest, and exhaustingly sassiest woman I know. You are the love of my life and all of my lives."
"And that is what you should have said at the beginning of this conversation," she pointedly, but her smugness were short lived as he pressed their lips together again. This time, he planned to tire her out until she was too tired to even speak.
So that's it! :) If you liked it, please review. If you didn't like, you can should still leave a review. Thanks for reading!