This, I think, is probably the closest I'll ever come to writing a comedy/parody. It's not really my thing, but I think this one came out OK if I do say so myself. As with most of my stuff, it was an english project, this one based on a short story called "The Secret Life of Walter Mitty." I hope someone out there has read it, because this makes alot more sense if you have. However, let me fill you in if you haven't: Walter Mitty isn't the world's brightest guy. He's growing old and has done very little with his life. He gets very little respect. As a distraction, he generates vivid daydreams constantly and often gets caught up in them beyond intention. (sounds like me). This is the story about one of them.
Mitty drives along a stormy highway at night, stuck listening
to his wife gripe about how they'll never make it to her sister's
in time. He gazes out at the road for anything interesting, but
finds nothing but the sheeting of rain on the windows.
"Look at this! You took your time finding those gloves that
you could've just kept where you could find them, but no! You
lose them, and because of you we'll never make it to my sister's
tonight!" Mrs. Mitty continues griping, but Mitty has long
since learned to ignore her.
"Ding!" The sound comes from the dashboard, and Mitty
looks down to see the overheat light on.
"Now look what you've done! You overheated the car and now
we're stuck in the middle of this-" Mrs. Mitty is drowned
out by an enormously loud clap of thunder.
"We just lost the backup O2 tanks!" Cpt. Conners says
from the payload station in the rear of the cockpit.
"That comet ripped off the entire port wing! This thing
sure ain't gonna land sir! We're gonna have to make it to the
ISS!" Another man, James Ryan, says from a window next to
Conners.
"We're leaking fuel! You guys see anything?" Mitty
says from the pilot's seat.
"Yeah, it's that wing, or what's left of it. Houston, are
you reading this?"
There is nothing heard but static on the radio. Outside the shuttle
window, the ISS is still just another dot in the sky.
"All right, I have an idea. This shuttle is never going
to make it to ISS like this. The module we're packing, it's the
maneuvering module, right? It's got some jets on it to help keep
ISS in orbit? Well I think we can use it.
"Sir, that module doesn't have any fuel, and our only fuel
source is almost gone!" Ryan says. "How exactly does
this work out?"
"I'll explain more later. Conners, make sure the arm is
working. Use it to lift the module out of the payload bay and
set it afloat. After that, set the engines to do a 10-second burst
in 20 minutes. After that, get suited up. Ryan, come with me to
suit up. I need you to get an EVA suit inside that module and
try and interface it's controls with the jets. The module itself
has no controls, I don't believe. I'm going to unhook some oxygen
and fuel and tie it behind the engines." Mitty looks at them.
"No, sir! That's too dangerous! Why would you do that anyway?"
Ryan says.
"It's the only way. I'm going to tie them back so when the
engines burst, they'll explode the shuttle and hopefully send
us flying in that module towards the ISS. Before that, though,
I'll fuel the module. It's the only way!" Mitty says.
Eighteen minutes later, all three strap in aboard the module,
now floating 7 yards from the shuttle.
"Sir, I would just like to say good luck. I am putting my
faith in you, but if we don't make it, it's not your fault."
Conners says.
"Don't worry about it, this thing is going to make it just
fine. what's the time?" says Mitty, who sits in a dissected
EVA suit.
"34 seconds!" Ryan looks up from his watch.
"Hold on!"
The shuttle's engines burst momentarily against the drifting
fuel and oxygen tanks, and the whole scene goes up in enormous
flames, which quickly dissipate for lack of oxygen. The explosion
sends the module flying away at incredible speed and incredibly
intact.
"Well, that was the hard part. Now we're home free!"
Mitty says with pride and relief.
The module hits a bump, causing Mitty to lurch forward and hit
the horn on the steering wheel.
"Watch what you're doing! You can't even drive these days!
Why did you stop the car? I could have had a heart attack!"
Mrs. Mitty yells at him. Mitty starts the car again, and drives
off, ignoring his wife next to him.
