Disclaimer: The following things are NOT mine:
Harry Potter or any related items, Lil' Romeo(he will 1 day), Eastenders and basically anything u recognise, the following things are mine: the word BUSHELHEAD (do not steal lol) and the obsession with Oxfam.
By Helen and Marie-Claire Grima
Chapter 1. The Random Wizard.
Harry Potter was being a random wizard and the Dursley's were being like so totally British! Harry Potter was sitting in his room and he was very pissed off because Harry's big fat retarded cousin, Dudley, was having his girlfriend over to dinner, his bigger fatter retardeder uncle would not let Harry's pigeon, deadpig, out hunting. Then Dobby the bungalow elf comes to sumo wrestle Harry so he doesn't go back to Hogwarts, Harry won because he used avada cadavra on dobby.
but even though he was just turned into a blob of cheese dobby did not give up so Harry raced downstairs then Harry goes to Dudley "hey fatty bum bum want another cream cake?" and dobby chucks a big cream cake as Dudley's arse.
Dudley cried because was being teased by Harry who wanted to make him join fat nation...
so Vernon the retard locks Harry in the bog and Ron comes along in his really really heavy yellow smart car and Harry runs downstairs, punches Vernon screaming "yellow car" then legs it into the car with his gold plated trunk and deadpig and He, Ron and Fred and George fly to the Weasley's excuse for a house called the butter (Harry though it looked more like a battered weetabix box).
Please R&R and hope u like the pure randomness, more coming soon! Oh and by the way, the reason the Weasley's house is called "The Butter" is because Burro is butter in Italian. ;) (Marie Claire)