A/N 1: The reason behind my sudden burst of writing is due to the passing of my grandmother at the end of March. I watched Smash and was caught up in the world it created. The Phenomenon, 2x14, was hard to watch but in a way it was really nice.
He was in a foul mood today, and it all started with the fact that Karen was a fucking tease. She lured him in, seduced him, gave him bottle after bottle of wine, and then made out with him. He wasn't a monster and couldn't force himself on any woman but hell, he had never wanted someone more than he wanted Karen Cartwright. Then that prick of a twat Jimmy had to come knocking on her window. He wasn't stupid and he knew that Karen still had feelings for that drug addict boy but he had put himself out there.
And then on the way to the theater she was worried about what to tell people. Bloody hell, nothing had happened. Not even close to what he wanted to do to this siren.
The conversation was interrupted by the second person he didn't want to see, Tom. But Tom certainly did know how to bring a halt to people's lives. Kyle was killed by a car, and bloody hell, his whole world was turned upside down.
He made his way through the day with Karen worrying about Jimmy, which just continued to rip at his fucking heart. All he kept thinking was, what was he doing in a production like this? He was starting to care about these people and letting this pretty young thing stomp all over his feelings. Kyle, poor sweet Kyle had to go and get killed. Why not that ass Jimmy?
Then he did something else stupid, he let Ivy come to the show. He figured he wanted someone on his side since Karen was only concerned about Jimmy.
He was completely done with Jimmy, even if Kyle was dead; he wasn't earning a second chance in his book. He had blown it when he was high during the show and let Karen get hurt.
Why was he doing this production he asked himself for the millionth time that day. He could have stayed with Bombshell and the musical would have been on Broadway already. Then he would have been on his way to yet another Tony. But then he would catch a glimpse of Karen and remember that he was way too much in love with her.
After the crowd left the sidewalk and the marque was still dimmed, he stood there and pondered where he was going; where he wanted his life to go. He tried to remember the last time he had felt this lost. Never was his answer. He had always known what he had wanted to do and where to go.
But there was a nagging voice in the back of his mind that was telling him to that he needed to leave. That almost sounded like running away to him. Then the voice spoke again and told him that it was the only way to get over Karen, and probably a little bit of Ivy as well. It wouldn't be bad to put distance between himself and Hit List. He had this terrible feeling in his gut that the show would go down in flames now. Jimmy had decided, with Scott's consent and not his, that he was rejoining the show. Plus, he knew with the addition of Jerry Rand's money, those two would be butting heads creatively. He wanted to be done with both of those men.
It was decided then, he was getting out of his contract and getting the hell out of this city. Maybe London or California. Hollywood wouldn't be too bad since he could woo his way through every new actress out there.
After a conversation with his lawyer, he found out that he had to stay around for another week for the legal paperwork to clear. He figured it would give him a week to pack the essentials before uprooting his life. But in truth, he loathed having to stick around for much longer.
Monday rolled around and he pretend to be his usual dark self, with even a little bit more gloom added in, just to get people off the scent that he was leaving. All through the day he had to witness Karen baby Jimmy during rehearsals. It made his blood boil. But eventually the day came to an end.
Tuesday dawned too early for his killer hangover, courtesy the bottle of Scotch that he had drowned last night. He hauled his ass into the theater and stumbled onto a scene he hadn't wanted to see. Karen and Jimmy sharing a kiss. Oh fuck it all to hell, he thought. Jimmy had interrupted him and Karen, why shouldn't he interrupt that knobhead?
"Oy," he said loud enough for them to hear and causing them to part. Jimmy just threw a smug smile over his shoulder at Derek and Karen had the decency to look a little bashful. For his part, he left his bag in the seats before going to his office.
But as he approached the door, he heard an extra set of footsteps with his. Who was following him? Karen, Jimmy, or a third unknown? Instead of acknowledging the person, Derek swung the door open full force, almost smacking the person in the face.
"Hey!" Karen shouted at him.
"You shouldn't stalk people if you don't want to get hurt!" Derek shouted back at her.
"What the hell is your problem?" Karen asked as she crossed her arms over her chest. "I was just going to talk to you about the show."
"Oh really?" he asked while mirroring her stance. He suddenly had a flashback to every fight they ever had over the past two years. What was it about this woman that made him keep coming back for more? "You know what, just save it for when we are actually rehearsing. If you would leave, I have work to do."
"Derek, what is going on?" she asked as a sudden softness came over her.
"Does it really matter? What are we? Friends? Something more? Something less?" he seethed with pent up frustration.
"Derek, not right now. We can talk about this later," she pleaded with him.
"No. Right now. You asked the question so we are going to do this. I'm done playing games. I'm done admitting that you mean more to me when I mean so little to you," he practically growled at her.
"That's not true. You mean a lot to me," Karen said in that almost whiney voice that meant she was upset. "You've done so much for me and you've been there for me..." she rambled on.
In that moment, he knew that she would never feel anything close to what he felt for her. But he decided on one last-ditch effort.
Before the next words were out of her mouth, he swept her up in a kiss. It was a kiss that he had hoped would be their first and not the one they shared the other night. It was full of passion, heat, and longing. Miraculously she didn't push him away or slap him but instead she kissed him back with as much passion as he was pouring into it. Perhaps this was their swan song? A last goodbye before he departed New York?
Reluctantly he pulled himself away before his heart-strings were plucked too hard.
"Do you want to know the difference between me and Jimmy?" he asked while still holding her in his arms. Karen nodded with hesitation. "While we are both loyal people, he's loyal to his drugs, but I'm loyal to the people I love." With that he stepped away from her embrace and he saw Karen's face fall from his confession. "I really do have some work to do so if you could leave, I would like to get it done before rehearsal." As finality, he turned to his desk and started going through the stacked pages. He didn't even glance up as he heard her shut the door.
4 weeks later and he found himself renting out a small apartment in LA near the studios. It was expensive but the LA commute was hell and after all the years spent in New York and London, he preferred walking to work. Even if the smog killed him faster than the current amount of alcohol he was ingesting.
He was on the verge of becoming an alcoholic he admitted to himself. Maybe the move was a bad idea after all. He had lost his job, the people he liked where elsewhere, and everybody here annoyed him even worse than normal. Where were the women he was supposed to use to get over this damn heartache that he felt the minute he took off in the plane?
Derek hadn't said goodbye to anyone. He had disappeared into the night. Only Scott knew he had left on purpose, and that was due to the legal papers sitting on Scott's desk. Hell, Julia was probably wondering if he had offed himself. That was one bridge he hadn't meant to burn but at this point he really didn't care. All of California could go up in fire and he would just remain in this tiny apartment.
He was contemplating getting another pack of beer, which had somehow become his choice of poison after his move, when there was a knock at his door. It was unusual since most people called him instead of visiting. Two weeks into moving to LA, he had discovered that besides the weather, the people were very similar to New York. They didn't particularly care for their neighbors so it wasn't one of them.
"Who is it?" he hollered from his living room while he searched for his wallet.
"Derek?" he heard his name called through the door. He must be having hallucinations or something because that sounded very much like Karen Cartwright. He stormed to the door to confront the fantasy or maybe the neighbors playing some dirty trick on him.
But it wasn't a trick or illusion he realized as he opened the door. It was Karen in the flesh and blood, looking very pleased to see him. He only stared back because for the life of him, he couldn't figure out how she had found him.
"I know you must be very surprised to see me here. You didn't make it very easy to find you, but I..." Karen faltered in her speech. "I just had to know that you were still alive. I know I'm the last person..." And at this point he slammed the door in her face.
"Derek?" He heard her call through the door while she knocked on it. "Derek? Derek?" she kept calling him.
"Leave me alone!" He shouted to the closed door and heard her pause
"Derek, I can't do that. I came all this way and jumped through so many hoops," Karen said loudly. "I want to talk to you and then I'll leave."
"Really?" he shouted as he once again pulling the door open. "Really? You want to talk now? Okay. Answer me this, how did you find me?" Derek asked and once again reused his fighting stance.
"Scott told me about you severing the contract so I went to your lawyer. He wouldn't give me your info very easily but I kept going back. Everyday, until yesterday, I sat in his lobby and nagged him," she confessed. "I was going to find you. I needed to find you. You leaving broke a lot of hearts, including mine."
"You broke mine as well," Derek said. "This isn't some musical, or novel, or movie where happy endings come true Karen. Now leave," he said as he banged the door closed.
He needed her gone more than anything in the world. How was he supposed to get over her when she showed up on his doorstep? He picked up the half empty beer bottle on his coffee table and guzzled it before flopping on the couch. There had to be more alcohol in the apartment so he didn't have to venture out before she left.
10 minutes after shutting the door on Karen, he contemplated turning on the TV as a distraction but the sound of keys in his door had him on alert. Who in the hell had an extra set of keys and thought they could enter his domain?
That stubborn stupid woman was now standing in front of him. The super was at the door looking sheepish knowing he had probably broken some laws by letting a stranger in. But knowing Karen, she had most likely cried to get access to his apartment.
"It's alright," he waved at the super. "I got this. She's not some crazy ex-girlfriend."
"Okay. Let me know if you need anything," the super said as he closed the door behind him.
Derek turned his attention fully to Karen.
"I thought I told you to leave?" he said with as much disdain as possible.
"Yes," she answered while moving around the coffee table and ended up with her knees knocking his folded ones. "Maybe there aren't fairytale endings," she admitted. "But that doesn't mean I don't want to believe in them or hope that they can happen. I know from experience that just because a relationship looks perfect, that it isn't. Look at me and Dev," she said while throwing her hands up. "Derek, I came all this way to say... that I'm loyal to the people that I love as well." Those last words made his head jerk up. Was she saying what he thought she was?
"Come again?" he asked.
"I said, I'm loyal to the people I love," Karen said while placing her hands on his shoulders. He had missed her touch and felt his heart rate spike.
"One more time, please? I'm a little drunk," he said.
"I'm loyal to the people that I love," she said while a smile as wide as her face.
He couldn't stand it a moment longer before he kissed her. Their arms came to wrap around each other and suddenly it all fell into place for him. She was here and she wanted him. All he had wanted was a chance and now he had it.
There was no way he was going to let go.
A/N 2: If the writers won't give us a happy ending on the show, I sure as hell want it in my fanfiction.