A/N: This is written by two authors. Me and CleveristWitchHerAge. We would both like to add that we don't own Harry Potter, though we both wish we did, but you all knew that already, didn't you?
Family Keeps You Sane
By: animaguswolfsong and CleveristWitchHerAge
Disclaimer: Don't own it. Never have, never will.
Chapter 1 – The Beginning
"Get up, James! It's almost noon! Your uncle will be here in an hour! Get yourself presentable," James' mother, Margaret Potter, shouted through the door.
James turned around on his bed, entangling himself in his comforter as he sat up and reached for his glasses on the nightstand.
"James! Get up!"
"I'm up, I'm up," James said impatiently. He pulled the covers off himself as he stood up and walked across his floor, avoiding the few things discarded on it . He opened his door and set foot on the wooden floors in the hallway. He walked passed two doors until he came to the door at the end of the hallway and opened it. Sirius was sprawled out on the bed, drooling on his pillow and half his body on top of his comforter, the other half underneath it.
James smirked at his friend's sleeping position as he walked over to his bed and picked up a pillow from the floor.
"Sorry, Minnie," Sirius muttered. "I don't have homework."
James looked at Sirius, perturbed, until he realized that Minnie was McGonagall.
"Well, then, Mr. Black, I guess you have detention with me all week," James said accusingly.
"No!" he muttered. "I don' want it."
"Okay then. You don't have to go. School doesn't start for another week anyway." James lifted the pillow over his head and slammed it down and smacked Sirius in the face. He jumped in surprise at the sudden impact and fell back on the bed in shock.
"Wazzat?" He supported himself on his hands, looking around blindly.
"Woah!" Sirius lost his balance and fell off the bed, the curtains of sheets falling with him.
James laughed when Sirius' head poked through the covers and found him.
"You!" he accused, pointing his finger at James. James lifted his hands in innocence.
"Me? What did I do?"
Sirius stood up and began walking towards James who was backing up. Before he could take one step, though, his feet got caught in the blankets and he fell face forward and landed at James' feet with a thump.
James snorted as Sirius scrambled to get back onto his feet.
"That was not funny," Sirius insisted, rubbing his elbow.
"Yes, it was," James said.
"You know, you wouldn't have found it funny if it had been you that fell flat on your face."
"No, but that's the beauty of it. It wasn't me."
Sirius glared at James.
"Uncle David's coming in an hour. We've gotta get up," James informed Sirius.
"What time is it?" Sirius asked yawning.
"Almost noon."
"What!" Sirius exclaimed, whirling around to face James. "What person in their right mind would wake up at this ungodly hour on the last week of summer break? You're mental, James!"
"No, my mother is. Now, come on. We've gotta get going."
A few minutes later, the two were downstairs rummaging through the pantry.
"What do you think you two are doing?" James' mother asked, coming in behind them. Sirius dropped the box of cookies he was holding as they both turned to face Margaret.
"We're just looking for something to eat, Mum," James said.
"We're going to eat with David in an hour. You don't need to eat all that now. You can wait an hour, can't you?" At Sirius' face of astonishment, Margaret continued. "If you hadn't slept half the day away and had gotten up at a decent hour, then you could have eaten breakfast."
"You say decent, I say ungodly," Sirius whispered to James. He snickered before nodding to his mother.
"We'll remember next time, Mum."
"Good. Now, put the cookies away, Sirius."
Sirius pouted once again, but obediently placed the cookies on the shelf again.
"When's your dad getting home?" Sirius asked as they walked back upstairs.
"Dunno. Soon, I expect. He's always around when Uncle David is. Aunt Melanie was able to take off work so she's coming too. She's pregnant, you know."
"Really?" Sirius asked.
James nodded. "For a few months now."
"She's never been to the Potter house before, has she? Would she feel more welcomed if we were to give her a more Marauderish welcome?" Sirius asked mischievously, a slightly evil glint in his eyes.
James rolled his eyes. "No, Padfoot. We don't want to scare her off. That'd just get Uncle David mad. We don't want him mad, now, do we?"
"Well, that would just make a challenge for us Marauders. We could get ideas from his punishment as well."
"I don't especially feel like getting pranked now, thank you, Padfoot."
"Why not?"
James ignored Sirius as he opened the door to his room.
"You talked to Evans at all?" Sirius asked, plopping himself down on James' now-made bed.
James whipped around to face Sirius. "What makes you think I've talked to her?" James asked.
Sirius shrugged. "Just curious. You haven't mentioned her all summer."
"Why would I mention her?" James asked, slightly embarrassed and bewildered.
"You always mention her. Do you forget about her over the summer or something?"
"No," James snapped. "I just figured you're sick of hearing me talk about her all the time."
"Well, that's courteous of you," Sirius said. "but that never stopped you at school."
James muttered something under his breath that Sirius didn't quite catch.
"What was that, Prongs?"
Just then, the doorbell rang. The boys remained quiet for a moment when they heard the door open and James' mother greeting his uncle loudly.
James walked swiftly out the door. Sirius grabbed his arm.
"I'm not done with you yet," Sirius warned, grinning at James as he passed him.
James followed Sirius down the wooden stairs and into the living room where Mrs. Potter and Uncle David were standing along with his Aunt Melanie.
"Ah! Here's the clever young man now!" Uncle David called, catching sight of James.
"Hello, Uncle David," James greeted, grinning.
"What year are you in now? Fifth?"
Sirius snickered behind James, who glared at his friend.
David grinned at the two as he wrapped his arm around the woman next to him.
"How are you, Melanie?" Margaret asked.
The young brunette smiled. "I've never been better. I'm so excited to be here. David never stops talking about this place."
"Well, he lived here for quite a while," James put in.
"Where's Alie?" David asked, glancing around the room.
As if on cue, the door opened and Mr. Potter entered the house.
"Oh, good, you're home!" Margaret exclaimed. "I was beginning to get worried. Did something happen?" she asked.
Alexander shook his head. "Just a few men complaining, that's all." Alexander then spotted his brother.
"David!" he exclaimed. He hung his cloak on the rack by the door before walking over and embracing his younger brother.
"How are you?" he asked excitedly, but before David could answer, he continued. "Welcome, Melanie. I hope you find this old house to be wonderful!"
"Well, now that everyone's here, should we get started on our lunch? Quacky has prepared a wonderful meal for us and I can't wait to eat it," Mrs. Potter said, bustling towards the kitchen.
When they entered the dining room, there was a large amount of food piled onto the table. A large ham sat ceremoniously in the center of the table while the side dishes and toppings surrounded it in a chaotic pattern.
"It looks like Hogwarts!" Sirius exclaimed excitedly. "Mrs. P., this is fantastic!"
James shoved Sirius playfully before taking his seat beside his father. Sirius sat on the other side and dug into the feast immediately.
"Do you feed that boy?" David inquired, staring at Sirius as he piled food on his plate.
"The way they both eat, you'd imagine they were starved," Alexander informed his brother.
"So, how's work for you, Alie?" David asked. Alexander glared at his younger brother before answering.
"Fairly well, though this Voldemort fellow is becoming more of a threat. He attacked a muggle town only a few miles north of here. Killed three people. We've been busy wiping memories and getting more clues as to who this character is. The Aurors are being stretched and we're in desperate need of more employees in the Magical Law Enforcement department. The Minister's getting stressed."
"What exactly do we know about him?" Melaine asked. "The Daily Prophet doesn't tell us much and what it does tell us is a jumbled mess."
Alexander finished chewing a piece of ham. "All we know is he's been gathering followers for a little over a year now and kills muggles. We don't know why yet, but we have a pretty good idea that he does it for racial reasons."
"Sick man," David muttered.
Changing the subject, Margaret addressed James and Sirius. "Are you two excited about your last year at Hogwarts?"
Sirius grinned mischievously, and James grinned back at Sirius.
"Of course, Mum. Why wouldn't we be?"
"Got any amazing pranks up your sleeves for this year?" David asked curiously.
Sirius rolled his eyes. "Of course we do! What kind of imbeciles do you take us for?"
"David, don't encourage them," Alexander said sternly. "They have enough detentions as it is."
"I hold the record for the most," Sirius said proudly.
"Only until the year starts up again! The only reason you're ahead is because you tripped and fell during our escape for our end-of-the-year prank!"
"You're just jealous!" Sirius gloated.
"No son of mine will hold the record for the most detentions. That includes you, Sirius," Margaret said firmly.
The family laughed at Sirius' indignant face before beginning on a topic of baby preparations.
"Uncle Dave, how long has it been since you've pulled a prank?" James asked as they sat on the couches in the Potter library. The room was lit by lamps lining the walls. David, James, and Sirius were all piled on the couches and chairs, flipping through Quidditch books, and pranking manuals.
"Oh, probably sixteen years," he answered. "Your father was my partner -in-crime. We just didn't have enough time to torment everyone once he started working. I started training to be a healer and you came along."
"How cute! A baby Prongs!" Sirius laughed.
"Prick," James muttered.
"Prat," Sirius replied.
Just then, an owl flew to the window behind them. James got up and opened the window to let the owl in.
"Hogwarts letters," James informed them, taking the Hogwarts-branded envelopes from the owl.
James flipped Sirius his letter before letting the owl out and opening his own letter.
Underneath the normal welcome back letter and the supplies list, James found a third parchment. James read the letter curiously, his curiosity slowly turning to disbelief as he read.
"What's wrong, Prongs? Did they kick you out because you don't hold the detention record?"
James shook his head slowly as he handed the letter to Sirius. He took it swiftly. When he finished, he laughed.
"Dumbledore's gone nutters!"
"What is it, James?" David asked curiously.
James turned to face his uncle and met his eyes.
"I'm Head Boy."