Author: Iz
Disclaimer: I don't own the whole 'Birthday Boy' fic an Australian radio station does except I just made it
I-man style.
A/N: I thought I can just imagine Darien doing something of these things (within reason)... you know getting back at people. Anyway hope you enjoy it and it makes you laugh.
Rated: M for swearing.
The Birthday Boy
Narrator: Darien was an ordinary person. Just like everyone else.
Hobbes: Fawkes, get out of bed you punk ass slob.
Darien: Piss off!
Hobbes: But I'll. . .
Darien: Cough --cough -- cough-- cough --Hmm!
Hobbes: Oh Ok.
Narrator: But this was no ordinary day.
Claire: Darien can you walk Pavlov, please?
Darien: Get stuffed!
Claire: Darien I. . .
Darien: Cough --cough -- cough-- cough Hmm!
Claire: Oh all right . . . jeez.
Narrator: Darien could do whatever he wanted! And get away with it!
The Official: Can you do a case for me, Darien?
Darien: Blow it out of your ass, Charlie!
The Official: I beg your pardon?
Darien: Cough --cough -- cough-- cough Hmm!
The Official: Oh, I'm sorry, I forgot.
Narrator: Cause Darien is . . . The Birthday Boy!!!
*Sounds of a small party going on as Darien's friends picks a film*
Bobby: Well, I don't know...
Alex: Pick something!
Claire: OH! Fantastic Beatlejuice that's my favourite film let's all watch that!
Everyone: YEAH!
Darien: Mmmm, I don't think so. Let's watch Baseball.
Alex: No way your out numbered.
Everyone: YEAH!
Darien: Cough --cough -- cough-- cough Hmm! Mmmm. . . Birthday Boy.
Alex: What?
Darien: You heard me . . . Birthday Boy.
Alex: Did he say . . . Birthday Boy?
Claire: 'Fraid so.
Bobby: DAMN! He's got us over a barrel!
Claire: But your teams not even playing!
Darien: That's true.
Bobby: You don't even like Baseball.
Darien: True again.
Claire: You don't even wanna watch the game do you?
Darien: Mmmm . . . not particularly.
Bobby: But you want to watch this one . . . don't you?
Alex: But I hate Baseball!
Darien: Ummm . . . Birthday Boy.
Pause.
Claire: Give him the remote.
Darien: And the chair too, toots. Chop-chop.
Alex: Hay! Why don't you go. . . !
Darien: Cough --cough -- cough-- cough Hmm. Birthday Boy! *Slow evil laugh.*
Alex: God I hate this time of year.
Claire: I know.
Narrator: They say that absolute power corrupts absolutely and there's no more absolute power than that bestowed on an ordinary shmo on his one special day.
*Disco music in the background*
Eberts: HAY!!! Who took a dump on the coffee table?
Darien: Ar that was me!
Eberts: Well, let me tell you something pal!
Eberts Friend: Cough --cough -- cough-- cough Hmm.
Eberts: WHAT?
Eberts Friend: Ar he's the Birthday Boy.
Eberts: Aw I see . . . Aw well congratulations it's fine piece of work.
Darien: That's nothing. Wait until you see what I left in your fish tank.
Eberts: What? Aw you filthy. . .
Darien: Mmmm . . . Birthday BOY!!!
Eberts: Pardon me, go about your business
Darien: Thankyou. Now if you've got some reading material I might try and park one on the sofa.
Eberts: But you can't.
Darien: Cough --cough -- cough-- cough Hmm!
Eberts: Uhh why not after all you ARE the Birthday Boy. *Evil Laughter*
Narrator: He'll kick your dog!
*Pavlov yelping.*
Darien: Birthday Boy!
Narrator: He'll steal your Parking spot!
*Honking in background.*
Darien: Uh Birthday Boy!
Narrator: He'll bot your fags!
*Sound of smokes being put out.*
Darien: Birthday Boy!
Narrator: He'll open your Mail!
*Paper being ripped open*
Darien: Birthday Boy.
Narrator: He'll make long distance calls on your phone to people he doesn't even know!
*On the other end of the receiver of the call.*
Darien: I'm the Birthday Boy.
Narrator: And you'll cop it sweet cause he is . . .THE BIRTHDAY BOY!!!!!
Narrator: Hip-hip . . . hoary *Laughter*
*Woman crying*
Police Sergeant: All right, all right what happened here, then?
Woman: It was that MAN!!!
Darien: Hello!
Woman: He burst into the restaurant with a .44 cal. Derringer and MURDED three people in cold blood!
Police argent: Is that true?
Darien: Yes it is.
Police Scargent: Well, it's best you come down the station then.
Darien: Mmmm I don't think so.
Police Sargent: WHY NOT!!!
Police Officer: Ar Sarg? He's the Birthday Boy.
Police Sargent: Well, why didn't you say so? Here take my gun!
Darien: Thanks!
*sounds of the gun clicking and being fired*
Police Sergeant: AWW! You copped me a beauty, good job Birthday Boy!
Darien: Evil laughter.
Hope you liked it . . . look out for more adventures of the underfunded six By Iz . . . coming soon (LoL) to a computer screen near you.
Rember R&R.
Iz
Disclaimer: I don't own the whole 'Birthday Boy' fic an Australian radio station does except I just made it
I-man style.
A/N: I thought I can just imagine Darien doing something of these things (within reason)... you know getting back at people. Anyway hope you enjoy it and it makes you laugh.
Rated: M for swearing.
The Birthday Boy
Narrator: Darien was an ordinary person. Just like everyone else.
Hobbes: Fawkes, get out of bed you punk ass slob.
Darien: Piss off!
Hobbes: But I'll. . .
Darien: Cough --cough -- cough-- cough --Hmm!
Hobbes: Oh Ok.
Narrator: But this was no ordinary day.
Claire: Darien can you walk Pavlov, please?
Darien: Get stuffed!
Claire: Darien I. . .
Darien: Cough --cough -- cough-- cough Hmm!
Claire: Oh all right . . . jeez.
Narrator: Darien could do whatever he wanted! And get away with it!
The Official: Can you do a case for me, Darien?
Darien: Blow it out of your ass, Charlie!
The Official: I beg your pardon?
Darien: Cough --cough -- cough-- cough Hmm!
The Official: Oh, I'm sorry, I forgot.
Narrator: Cause Darien is . . . The Birthday Boy!!!
*Sounds of a small party going on as Darien's friends picks a film*
Bobby: Well, I don't know...
Alex: Pick something!
Claire: OH! Fantastic Beatlejuice that's my favourite film let's all watch that!
Everyone: YEAH!
Darien: Mmmm, I don't think so. Let's watch Baseball.
Alex: No way your out numbered.
Everyone: YEAH!
Darien: Cough --cough -- cough-- cough Hmm! Mmmm. . . Birthday Boy.
Alex: What?
Darien: You heard me . . . Birthday Boy.
Alex: Did he say . . . Birthday Boy?
Claire: 'Fraid so.
Bobby: DAMN! He's got us over a barrel!
Claire: But your teams not even playing!
Darien: That's true.
Bobby: You don't even like Baseball.
Darien: True again.
Claire: You don't even wanna watch the game do you?
Darien: Mmmm . . . not particularly.
Bobby: But you want to watch this one . . . don't you?
Alex: But I hate Baseball!
Darien: Ummm . . . Birthday Boy.
Pause.
Claire: Give him the remote.
Darien: And the chair too, toots. Chop-chop.
Alex: Hay! Why don't you go. . . !
Darien: Cough --cough -- cough-- cough Hmm. Birthday Boy! *Slow evil laugh.*
Alex: God I hate this time of year.
Claire: I know.
Narrator: They say that absolute power corrupts absolutely and there's no more absolute power than that bestowed on an ordinary shmo on his one special day.
*Disco music in the background*
Eberts: HAY!!! Who took a dump on the coffee table?
Darien: Ar that was me!
Eberts: Well, let me tell you something pal!
Eberts Friend: Cough --cough -- cough-- cough Hmm.
Eberts: WHAT?
Eberts Friend: Ar he's the Birthday Boy.
Eberts: Aw I see . . . Aw well congratulations it's fine piece of work.
Darien: That's nothing. Wait until you see what I left in your fish tank.
Eberts: What? Aw you filthy. . .
Darien: Mmmm . . . Birthday BOY!!!
Eberts: Pardon me, go about your business
Darien: Thankyou. Now if you've got some reading material I might try and park one on the sofa.
Eberts: But you can't.
Darien: Cough --cough -- cough-- cough Hmm!
Eberts: Uhh why not after all you ARE the Birthday Boy. *Evil Laughter*
Narrator: He'll kick your dog!
*Pavlov yelping.*
Darien: Birthday Boy!
Narrator: He'll steal your Parking spot!
*Honking in background.*
Darien: Uh Birthday Boy!
Narrator: He'll bot your fags!
*Sound of smokes being put out.*
Darien: Birthday Boy!
Narrator: He'll open your Mail!
*Paper being ripped open*
Darien: Birthday Boy.
Narrator: He'll make long distance calls on your phone to people he doesn't even know!
*On the other end of the receiver of the call.*
Darien: I'm the Birthday Boy.
Narrator: And you'll cop it sweet cause he is . . .THE BIRTHDAY BOY!!!!!
Narrator: Hip-hip . . . hoary *Laughter*
*Woman crying*
Police Sergeant: All right, all right what happened here, then?
Woman: It was that MAN!!!
Darien: Hello!
Woman: He burst into the restaurant with a .44 cal. Derringer and MURDED three people in cold blood!
Police argent: Is that true?
Darien: Yes it is.
Police Scargent: Well, it's best you come down the station then.
Darien: Mmmm I don't think so.
Police Sargent: WHY NOT!!!
Police Officer: Ar Sarg? He's the Birthday Boy.
Police Sargent: Well, why didn't you say so? Here take my gun!
Darien: Thanks!
*sounds of the gun clicking and being fired*
Police Sergeant: AWW! You copped me a beauty, good job Birthday Boy!
Darien: Evil laughter.
Hope you liked it . . . look out for more adventures of the underfunded six By Iz . . . coming soon (LoL) to a computer screen near you.
Rember R&R.
Iz