Jenonca- ok I re did this because the first copy was full of mistakes grammar and spelling. So here it is again redone.
I don't own supernatural.
i give up.
Those three words I never thought I would think, I've had enough, all of it Sam, Cas, bobby dying and the freaking monsters, that can be harmed with washing powder. It's all too much to handle. It pisses me off, when I think things are getting back on track, no more crazy for a while, a whole new thing starts up. I've had it, I can't get any peace, not that I expected it but just once I wish I were lucky. I wish I could relax and not have to save the world or deal with whatever craziness that Sam is going through.
I would give up hunting right this minute if the world wasn't going to toast. Who else is going save it, it's always me and always has been. Sam saves it with me but he's usually out of his head or apologising for whatever mess he made, which I as his older brother have to clean up. Bobby would call me an idjit if he were here but I don't care, I'm too tired to care anymore.
It used to be easy I could save people and kill monsters and I would still have time to hit the bar, now i can't ever since Sam and I both got back on the road together. Damn it, it's been one problem after another and now it isn't just Sam its Cas too. Cas put my faith back in world, he made things easy for a while, just by being his nerdy angelic self but I don't know him anymore. Cas let me down in ways I can't ever explain, he was like my brother even though i had Sam.
Why did I have to be so blind how did I not know he was slipping. I knew he had problems but I thought he would be alright because he's Cas, he always picks himself up. Had I paid him more attention I probably might have stopped him from turning evil.
Bobby really would call me an idjit, I'm acting like a chick. What happened to me I used be badass, nothing bothered me. All these years are finally catching up with me I can't handle it. Sammy's the one who pms's, he's the emotional one not me.
Sometimes I think, I would have been better off if I had stayed with Lisa and stopped hunting for good. I know i wouldn't be as bad as I am now. Nope I just have to be a hero and save everyone. Maybe that's my problem I care too much about everyone, that's why everything bad happens to me. It's that or I should block myself off and be like robo Sam who didn't care about no one. My life would easier that way.
I know it will never happen. Dad told me too look after Sam and keep him safe no matter what, I can't ever go back on that promise, no matter how much better I would be without my baby brother, I have a responsibility. I have to protect him and that means caring about him and stopping him going insane, I'm the big brother it doesn't matter if I go insane or wished it was all over, I have keep going for him.
I give up; I can't when I have a brother to protect and a planet.
God damn it, it's time to man up and kick some ass. I'm a Winchester; we don't know the meaning of giving up.