One Edward Elric was sitting on the roof, taking his time to draw the alchemy circle. Why? Because, ever since the gate had taken all his knowledge of alchemy, he'd had to learn it over again. Still, he was able to make a full recovery; almost. The only thing he couldn't do was abandon the use of transmutation circles, something he was slightly bitter about. The teeter totter was tilting in Alphonse's favor. Smiling slightly, he slammed his hands on the roof, and it was as good as new.

"Winry, I fixed it!" he called. A very pregnant Winry waddled out of their house, huffing.

"YOU'RE LATE FOR DINNER!" she screamed. Edward was confused, since it was only three, and dinner was at five. When he tried to explain, his darling beloved threw her wrench at him. Luckily, he dodged it while still sitting. It struck a hole in the straw roof. Sighing, he tried to stand up, only to discover that his braid was caught by the wrench and nailed to the roof. Unfortunately for him, he discovered it too late and was still in shock when he began falling backwards due to the slope of the roof and the braid.

He ended up falling off the roof and unto the grass. Luckily the roof wasn't too high so he only broke his arm.

"Dear, are you sure that your braid isn't plotting rebellion against you?" Winry asked as she served stew. Edward frowned. Truth be told, this wasn't the first of the many accidents involving his braid. Each and every one of them seemed to end with him almost breaking his neck.

"No," he said.

"Then why don't you cut it?" Winry asked, exasperated. Unwittingly, his fingers found his braid and he began to stroke it, cooing to it.

"NO!" he shouted in alarm. What he didn't notice was his braid curling slightly around his neck as if to strangle him.

Poor deluded soul. One day, that damned braid will kill him.

And that was how it began; the war between Winry, and Edward's evil braid.

A/N: LOL, right? We just had to do it. Yeah, we're evil.

Parody Thingy:

Winry: Ed, your hair's longer than mine! It's ridiculous!

Edward: No it's not! And I look better with long hair!

The Eville Pie: You know, you sound like Demon-Pixie when her mom tries to give her a haircut.

Edward: NO I DO NOT!

Demon-Pixie: Under the rule of number three and thirty, we are hereby ordered to silence one Fullmetal Alchemist, AKA Edward Elric forever. May he rest in peace with his androgynous beauty. *leaps forward and strangles him*

The Eville Pie: Winry, pass the popcorn.