Bones belongs to Fox and Hart Hanson, no infringement intended just wasting a little time on a Saturday night.

Gravity

By Sara Bareilles

Some thing always brings me back to you; it never takes to long,

No mater what I say or do,

I still feel you here till the moment I'm gone

I could feel my heart beating as he stirred, the smallest movements in the room seemed so unfamiliar to me. He had been quiet for so long, so lost to the world. I sat here in this hard plastic chair with my lap top waiting, waiting for my back to go numb and the sense of unease that I felt to subside.

It never did. The entire time he looked so peaceful, the rising and falling of his chest keeping the tempo for my thoughts. Word filtered from my brain and through the dexterity of my capable fingers into the word processor, killing time, making every excruciating hour pass till I could see his brilliant brown eyes again. What if I never got to see them, would the flow stop? Would I spend my life typing to pass an indefinite amount of time, never really feeling whole again?

The spot in the small of my back where his hand normally rested would burn, aching for him to guide me. The witty comments that I tried to make solely for him would not seem so important anymore. The true essence of my life would seem empty and lost and that scared me.

I prided myself on being a strong woman with out superficial ties to the world around me. There was a three inch steel wall keeping out the pain of ephemeral feelings and unnecessary complications. Yet still, like my own night in shinning armor, this man had scaled the wall using means of which I gave him. I was the accidental Rapunzel in this story and it would end with my own demise. Suddenly it became very important that my partner live because with out him in my life things seemed so meaningless. Everything seemed so dependent on his recovery and that was not something that I understood.

Or, perhaps, I did understand only to well. I had spent so many months with my head in the sand, ignoring the things that I could not face. Yet, the funny part is that even through all of the loss and the bullshit that I fed myself I still felt him. I stood on the ledge looking at the net beneath me, taking the leap and feeling my arms fly through the air till I landed on someone else's feet.

He was always there; ready to catch me, his arms extended out as he waited. He never judged me, never told me that I was stupid for trying, or that I had nothing to give. Even in those very early days when I did not deserve his kindness he was the bigger man. He has always been the bigger one in our relationship, putting his heart in when mine was not available for consultation. He took his time with me, allowed me to catch up to him, even disillusioning me that I was the one that needed catching up to.

Set me free, leave me be

I don't want to fall another moment into your gravity

Here I am, and I stand so tall

I'm just the way I'm supposed to be

But you're on to me and all over me

There is no escaping the things that I have done, or a way to make them better, if I even wanted to. I can not say for sure that I would ever admit this aloud or that there is even anything to admit. All I can say is that this time, when I am standing there at his grave, looking on as the earth swallowed the only thing in my world that I have ever let this close to me; I will not be so silent. I will not let him go with a quiet murmur or a sullen embrace. I need him to know that there are some burdens in life worth barring and that I would gladly take his on if only to be able to share this with him just once.

Sometimes the things that we fight the hardest are the things that we need the most. It is a sad truism that leaves the giant hole where there was once my heart. The very use of that metaphor is a sad testament to the greatest change that Seeley Booth has made in me. He taught me that using my metaphorical heart was occasionally the only way to find the real answer.

You're on to me, on to me and all over me

Something always brings me back to you

It never takes to long…