Disclaimer: I don't own anything blah blah all that jazz.
How did it come to this? Tell me, how? I was so sure of myself, so sure I could do it. I could have done it. Why didn't I do it? What stopped me? Too many questions I ask and yet I myself cannot give the answers. I need those answers though, without them I am too confused. Perhaps i can continue without them. A shell of myself seems to be a fitting fate for failure. But I didn't fail...did I? It was a misunderstanding, I think. Father didn't see- no...Odin, not my father. That's right, I'm adopted. Such a thing seems so trivial now when it is in fact the cause of all this. Is it? Maybe deep down, I have wanted this. Well maybe not to be falling into oblivion, but maybe I did want the throne. Yes, Thor's equal is what i wanted, but really, no more than that? Surely some part of me would not stop there...That's right, I am prince. not Odin's son but a prince nevertheless. Technically, I am a king seeing as Laufey has met his...demise. None of that matters now. All of that is lost to me. Lost. Just like me. Lost in not only an endless sea of stars but an endless sea of turmoil.
Funny, I can still see Thor, heartbroken and holding onto the staff and Odin. His expression tells me he did not expect me to let go, but I bet he wanted me to. This way he could be rid of me. Obviously he didn't adopt me out of love, but as nothing but relic; a tool to bind enemies. I am willing to bet that he never thought he would create an enemy out of the very thing he saved. He did save me, didn't he?...I suppose he did. Then why do i despise him so? I can only conclude that it was because he lied. No matter what, I was deemed a monster.
I am a monster.
Falling into this dark endless oblivion, watching Thor, Odin, and everything I once knew grow smaller until it is no longer within my sight seems like the perfect punishment. Perfect, because I can feel the swell of anger grow within me. It tells me that there is hope for revenge yet. I can still be a king. I will be a king. Nothing and no one will stop me this time.
I can do it this time. I will do it this time. I swear to powers beyond that of Valhalla that I did not let go for nothing. Then again...if I had not then Thor surely would have perished with me. Is that also why I let go? Even after I try to kill him, that pathetic brotherly bond we shared seeped into me. I want to curse it but I cannot bring myself to do so.
Does it matter now? Does anything matter?
Fate, Loki. Fate matters. Face the abyss and welcome your fate.
Everyone lost at sea somehow always washes up on a shore.
And it is fate that decides the shore.
AN: Please let me know what you think. Thank you.