Author's Note: This is intentionally terrible, I promise. It was created for the sole purpose of proving to my good friend and nemesis that I CAN post bad fanfiction, I just… choose not to. For obvious reasons! This was supposed to be a one shot, but I suppose it'll probably get another instalment since I ended it a little… abruptly, it's true. Look/ don't look forward to it.

Disclaimer; I don't own Bakugan. I don't really watch it either… I own The Author and Seth, however, both of whom I am quite involved with. Oh, and the unknown voice doesn't belong to me, either. The unknown voice KNOWS who it belongs to…

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It was a dark and stormy night.

Literally.

Masquerade had, of course, picked that particular night to bother Runo enough to send them screaming from the family restaurant. Being the kind and easily amused friends that they were, the rest of the Brawlers had joined them at a more… leisurely pace. And then, having decided they were far enough from the house, the skies opened and dumped buckets of freezing rain on their heads. Some took the situation better than others.

"MY HAIR!" Julie shrieked, almost perfectly parroted by Masquerade. Both desperately flung their arms over their heads, eliciting eye rolls from the rest of the group.

"What great timing," Runo sighed sarcastically, barely heard over Julie's increasingly shrill yells, "now we've got to run all the way back to the house."

"No, look!" Alice said, tugging Runo's sleeve and pointing, "There's a little store still open over there! Let's go wait out the storm."

Julie quieted almost immediately. "Dry? It's dry! Let's go! Ohh, I really hope they have a hairdryer!" She took off towards the dim yellow lights in the distance, wet ponytail slapping against her soaked pink outfit.

Runo looked over at Masquerade, expecting him to be just as eager to fix his hair as the Australian. Instead, she was more than shocked to find that his hair was defying everything science had ever told her, gravity included. Wet though it may be, his mess of blonde hair was still absolutely perfect.

"Wh-wh… how..?" She stammered, grabbing her own limp, electric blue pigtail in disbelief.

"Genes," He replied simply, "Now get inside." A small bell jingled overhead as he ushered her though the door.

The 'store' turned out to be a café with about eight tables, a fireplace, and a homey atmosphere. They seemed to be the only customers, save for the duo talking at the corner table. One was a girl, with dark brown hair, an expression of diabolical cruelty, and a t-shirt that read 'I LOVE DAKOTA.' The other was a blonde boy in traditional waiter dress and an air of extreme apathy. They looked up as the Brawlers entered.

"Oh, super!" The girl exclaimed, slapping her hands palms-down on the table and standing to greet them, "I've been waiting for you!"

"Been… waiting?" Dan questioned.

"Well, yeah. What else to you expect me to while you guys took your sweet time to show up? Play solitaire?"

"No, what I meant was..."

"I know what you meant, Kuso."

"How did you..?" Dan's face lit up with sudden realization. "Psychic! You must be psychic! Stand behind me, Runo, I won't let her get you!"

"Honestly, Dan…" Runo said, sighing heavily.

"You know, Runo, I could probably protect you much better than he ever could," Masquerade drawled, his tone more than a little suggestive. Runo just glared.

"Hey now, let's keep this PG, kiddos," The girl interjected, arms folded. "I will not have sexual tension in my café."

"Sexual tension? There's nothing sexual about it!" Runo burst.

"Hush!" The girl demanded, throwing her arms in the air dramatically. The room went silent. "Huh. Never thought that would actually work. Anyways, Seth, show them to their tables! We have a checkers tournament to run!"

"Checkers?" Alice asked as the bored blonde led them to a table. "No, you don't understand, we were just…"

"No, you don't understand, my red-headed friend," The girl said, interrupting mid-sentence yet again, "you are here to play checkers. Fate has said it is so."

"Fate? Who believes in that sort of nonsense?" Julie scoffed, twisting her wet hair around her finger in an attempt to curl it.

The girl glared. Julie went quiet.

"Well, if we're going to play in your checkers tournament, could we at least ask why?" Masquerade reasoned.

"Because I'm bored? Seth isn't great company." She glanced over her shoulder at her waiter friend, who was idly wiping out an empty mug.

"Now hold on a moment!" Dan exclaimed, rising out of his seat, "Who said we want to play your game, huh? What if we want to leave? Who are you, anyways?"

"So many questions! I just want to… hit you, or something," the girl said, waving her arms in an agitated fashion in Dan's general direction. "I am the Author, supreme dictator of all things great. You are here to play checkers because it is raining outside and I have locked all the doors…"

"What?" The Brawlers said, almost in unison. The Author glared them into silence again.

"…and because if you don't, we'll play Truth or Dare instead, and I don't think you want that." The silence that met her words seemed to act as agreement. The Author surveyed the scene happily before theatrically pulling a piece of chalk from the pockets of her jeans. It was a sickly green in color, and she used it to draw three lines on the table the Brawler's were sitting at, seemingly dividing them into three groups. "Alrighty!" She sang, slipping the chalk back into her pocket and placing her hands firmly on her hips, "I will now introduce you to the teams! Forced couple number one: Dan and Runo!" After the announcement, The Author began to clap with enthusiasm. After a pointed glare, Seth joined in.

"What? No!" Runo exclaimed, "We're not a couple at all! In any way!"

"Does it maaatter? No!" The Author overrode, sending Runo back to her seat with a pout. "And next up, forced couple number two: Masquerade and Julie!"

This announcement caused outrage from almost everyone, including an unknown voice from the back of the cafe that Seth set off to quiet immediately.

"Prisoners?" Masquerade asked, raising an eyebrow behind his mask.

"Another thing that doesn't matter!" The Author replied, dodging the topic completely. "And now, for our final team! Forced couple number three: Alice and Shuuuun!"

The final pairing was met with little fanfare, which seemed to disappoint the Author somewhat. "Seth! My checkerboard!" She demanded snappily, hand held out expectantly. The ever-silent waiter procured the board from some mysterious pocket in his apron and held it out. She grabbed it, tossed it on the table, and threw down two jars of playing pieces to go with it.

"Team one VS. Team two! Ready, Set… BATTTTLLLLEEE!"