Well..I decided to re-do Stale Taste I don't know, I had a good feeling about this one and wanted it to be good. So another thing I should mention. Don't flame due to the spelling I have fucking WORD PAD. My comp crashed and went back to default settings deleting everything, it was quite a long process. Just had to say that, ENJOY!
No, I don't own Degrassi, The Flaming Lips, or The Postal Service.
How it happened. I don't know. All I do know is that I ws alone, and so was he. Sean could never do anything about it, but somehow he found a way to come back, and keep on ruining everything. He left, stuck me with the rent, and killed the one person who was there for me when he wasn't. There's only one way I can get over what happened. And that's to start from the beginning.
I was tired of laying bed, night after night, thinking, my thoughts just buzzing through my head not allowing me to shut my eyes and give me any moments peace. I was always left turning over, struggling for sleep. Now even in the summer, I only seemed to catch two or three hours of sleep. I was so alone, Marco was there some of the time, but he couldn't always be there. Ashley, she was gone too. Gone to England, she didn't need a break, I did. Sure Craig was BiPolar, but that wasn't his fault. I was so sick of everyone running away from their problems, even me. I had to cut, I couldn't cry or stomp around or have normal feelings, I had to resort to other methods. Three AM, the first day of summer, I found myself yet again, alone. I finally got tired of attempting to sleep and woke up. The silence was getting to me, I hated it. Sighing, I turned on the kitchen light, and started to make some tea. It was so hot, I left all the windows wide open, maybe not the smartest idea at night, but hell, I didn't have anything else to lose. Drunken rants from party-goers could be heard outside. Hearing Jay was a bit of a given, when he wasn't drunk, he was high, when he wasn't high, he was trying to get drunk. Laughter spilled into the apartment, and I was fed up. "Crazy Craiggie! Get the fuck up let's goooo!" Spinner. I thought they hated him now. I guess they figured, it wasn't their job to hate him, it was Jimmy's.
I stuck my head out the window, and saw SPinner trying to drag a very drunk and passed out Craig down the sidewalk. "Hey!" I yelled, "Some of us do sleep you know!" Spinner shot up and looked around confused. "Dumbass! Over here!" I shouted. He finally saw me. "Ell-ay-ay-ay!" he laughed drunkedly "How the fuck are you! You're looking hot! How 'bout you and I get to know each other more?" I rolled my eyes. "Yeah Spin, I'd really love to get drunk and fuck you, but tonight I just don't feel like it." Spinner scoffed, and looked down at Craig, "Heycan you helpme here?" he said slurring his words. Getting irritated I decided, fuck it. Soon I was holding onto Craig Mannings legs, carrying him up the stairs of my apartment building. Spinner was running into walls and laughing like an idiot the whole way. Soon we were in the apartment and Craig was passed out on the couch. I sighed, and Spinner was still laughing. I looked at him, "You know what I think he'll be fine here why don't you stagger on home now." He shrugged and left, nearly killing himself down the stairs. I looked over at Craig, this is what I was now huh? A drunk shelter. I grabbed my tea, and slammed the door to my room shut. I eventually fell asleep around 6. I woke up to the smell of bacon, what the hell, who was cooking bacon? I shot up and threw open the door, Craig was standing by the stove looking over his shoulder at me. I forgot he was here. "Uh, hey, yeah sorry to freak you out, just thought'd I'd make breakfast you know? Thanks for keeping me here?" He said to me in a quiet tone. I blinked, my vision still blurry from waking up. "Uh, yeah thanks." I looked at the clock, Nine AM, three hours of sleep. I sighed and rubbed my eyes, god I was miserable, I hated this god damn place. "It sucks." Craig said "Doesn't it?" I looked at him. I walked over to the table and took a seat. "I don't know what you're talking about."
He placed a plate of eggs and bacon in front of me. Then he sat with his own plate, and dug in. "Yeah you do," he said "the lonliness, the fact that the person you love is so far away from here, and they left you with nothing and no one. Then you have that big problem that they feel they blamed themself for and like it was their job to take care of you, but it isn't and they think THEIR stressed out when they don't even KNOW." He was stabbing at his eggs furiously now. I grabbed his hand to stop. I looked at him, he looked like he was about to cry, and I realized, he felt just like I did. He knew more about what was going on then I did. I stood up and gave him a hug. "I hate it here." He hugged me and instead of him crying and sobbing, I did, and he held me. How that happened, what the hell I don't even know. All I know is that he understood.
The next week or so, Craig and I talked a lot. About Sean or Ashley, about anything. I felt so close to him, I don't know why. I had always hated him for what he did to Ashley, but now that didn't matter. I never knew we'd become so close so fast.
One day at the apartment, Craig was supposed to come over, and we were supposed to do something, I don't know, talk, see a movie, go get a bite at the Dot. Yeah I was more social, sue me. I also slept more, knowing I had nothing left to say to myself, because I said it to Craig. I heard a knock on the door. It was Craig of course. "Hey," he said akwardly. I don't knopw why this was so akward, but it was. Something was so uncomfortable or strange about the moment, I don't know something. Soon, I was holding him passionately, he was holding me, feeling my every curve. Sean never did that. I kissed him long and hard, never wanting to let him go. I had never been so romantic with someone. We stumbled to my room. Landing on my bed. He stopped, and I looked at him. "Ellie, I don't know. This feels right." I know, it's corny as hell, but who cares you'd fall for it if a someone said that to you too. "I needed someone Craig, and now I need you. It's alright." He looked at me in that way, that any girl wants to be looked at. I kissed his way down my chest. Then took off my zip-hoodie. He looked at my arms for a moment, and then I was ashamed. But then he planted delicate kissing along them. I took his face in my hands. And kissed him gently. I started to unbuckle his belt. But then stopped, groping my way towards his pant pocket, grabbing the condom out of his wallet. I threw it to my side for now. I began to slowly unzip his jeans, feeling him slightly, becoming embarassed. He looked at me gently, "it's okay." He kissed me again as I slipped off his pants. He slowly pulled off my shirt, and kissed down to my breasts. He unclasped my bra, and I looked down, slipping off his boxers. He pushed me back further onto the bed, grabbing the condom. I took it form him and slipped it on him. No matter how ugly you may think your body is, when you're naked and with someone you are connected and comfortable with, you feel beautiful and natural. I went up to kiss him, still in my underwear.He lifted my leg up and slipped them off. I was braced up against him, and he looked into my eyes. He slowly began to push inside, I was breathing heavily, the pain was there like everyone said. I knew it was weird, but the pain made it better. I was tilting my head back as he kissed my chest pushing inside now rhythmically. I held him and he thrust harder now. I was breathing so hard, I don't think I've ever felt this way.
I had never had sex with Sean, I duobt I would have been as comfortable.I was kissing him hard and moaning into his mouth. I was moaning like I was in pain, half pain, half pleasure. He was caressing me feeling the sweat down my back. He started to shiver in pleasure and I felt liek I was about to flow with screams and then...I did. We both did. Like we were connected somehow. Yeah sounds sappy, get over it. I didn't want it to end. I lay there his head on my chest now, sweaty I was stroking his hair.I then slowly pushed him off of me, and went to his side. I took his hand and laced it in mine. He looked at me touching me still. "Ellie," he said shivering still "I love you." I widened my eyes. "Now, this 'love', is it pure? Do you love me, or do you love me like if I were to leave you you would slowly die inside, it would hurt SO bad that you wouldn't know what to do and you could never love again. Because Craig, I'm tired of hearing that, and having it not be true." I was crying now. I didn't want to be hurt, the way Sean hurt me. He pulled me in and held me. "Eleanor Nash, I love you more than you will ever come to dream about."