Previously titled "A Bittersweet Irony", for some dumb reason. I took a hiatus from this story last year and just recently revived and revamped it with a new working title! I 've edited the earlier chapters a bit (namely just grammatical/causational errors), but it primarily reads the same as it did before.
Fingers crossed I finish it this time!
Chapter 1
I never wanted pokemon as a child.
No, due to an unfortunate incident with an angry Poochyena I felt something akin to fear every time they came near me. So when I found myself standing in Oak's laboratory, not three days after my fourteenth birthday, holding a tiny red and white ball in my hands and sticking out of the group of nearby ten year olds… well, I'm sure you can imagine my chagrin. But I guess freak Onix attacks which bury your house and family beneath two tonnes of rubble tend to put things into perspective.
In any case back to the story at hand; Oak was rambling on about the pokemon world and how this journey we were about to undertake would change our lives, but for me it was all in one ear and out the other. Not for the other kids though, the group of us all standing there on the white marble floor, blinded by the grandiose lighting behind Oak. No, those naïve kids would take in every word, write it down, get it tattooed over their fucking ass cheeks, and then when they all ended up being slowly digested by wild Victreebel, or freezing to death, starving and weak, they'd put it on their gravestones: "Here lies little Tommy from Viridian City. He may have been gored by a swarm of angry Beedrill at the tender age of ten, but gosh darn it was he having an adventure."
A cough brought me out of my musings, and it wasn't until I noticed everyone's gazes that I realised the professor had finished. Staring down at me with that same look everyone else wore, pity mixed with dislike, he folded his arms and waited.
Shit! He must've asked me a question, quick, improvise! "…No?"
A snicker from my right told me I had missed my mark, though fortunately for the little shit I couldn't identify the culprit.
"So you don't think that it's important to stock up on Burn Heal's before leaving?" There was that look again. Pitying. Distrusting. Taunting me.
"Well, what fire pokemon are we going to encounter on our way to Viridian City?" A flush of red across Oak's neck told me I'd scored a good hit.
"Well not in the wild, but that's nothing to say you won't encounter trainers with fire type pokemon on your way, and then what will you do, whilst your partner is slowly dying?"
I knew I should have resisted the urge to fight, but I'd had it with Oak and his smug demeanour, pitying looks and mew damned laboratory lights! "And just how many trainers will be carrying fire pokemon on the route between Viridian and Pallet town? Is this a common occurrence?"
"Well no-"
"And would any of us ever be stupid enough to leave a burnt pokemon out, instead of returning it to it's pokeball?"
"None of you have any experience training, I'm simply covering the basics so that you all avoid fatal mistakes-"
"Fatal mistakes? We've already made our 'fatal mistake' by signing up for this nightmare! You know the statistics of how many trainers don't make it past their first year? " I folded my arms to copy Oaks stance, and swept my gaze across the young group, "Everyone look around. Half of you won't be alive next year."
His face now a full shade of maroon, the professor glared at me, then at the other kids, (who at this time had been watching our argument like the observers of a tennis match) before shoving a red device into my hands and (barely) avoiding screaming, "Get out!"
My footsteps echoed throughout the laboratory as I exited, head held high and smug grin on my face masking the fear I felt inside. Good job Nat, piss off the guy who could best help you survive on this fucking journey, some trainer you're turning out to be.
An obnoxiously loud slam signalled the door had shut behind me, reminding me how finite my decision was. "I just hope it was the right one", my parting words as I left the laboratory steps and began my first day as a trainer.
My first day as a trainer taught me two things:
1. Pallet Town had two exits, a north and a south one.
2. My compass was fucking broken.
So as I stood there on the shores of Pallet Town's southern beach, it occurred to me that the only logical choice of action was to throw it in the ocean… unfortunately this happened to be at the same time a local ranger was strolling past, which is the story of how I ended up with a $200 littering fine on the wrong side of Pallet, on my first day as a pokemon trainer.
"Route 21. Yep, I definitely have to remember that for when I tell this to my grandchildren", I muttered to no one in particular, just aiming it in the general direction of the sea. The sea, unsurprisingly, was not impressed.
"Well I suppose now is a good a time as any to see what Oak stuck me with", I levelled the red and white ball, staring at it as if I could discern its contents through second sight, "Whatever you are, you had better be worth it, considering how much I paid for you. Knowing that sick old bastard, he probably imported a Poochyena just for me." I barely managed to suppress a shudder; My Pokeball's response was as animated as the sea's.
I aimed my pokeball in front of me and took a deep breath. Then another one, just for luck. And a third, cause after all, 'third time's the charm', right?
Steeling my nerves I levelled my pokeball once more and took the only reasonable course of action. I threw it in front of me, then dashed behind a boulder.
A red flash and ensuing "bibbbiiriiiiiibiiii" or… you know… something like that, told me it was time to look.
Tentatively peeking around my hiding place, my jaw dropped.
"That son of a bitch."
Standing in at a total of half a meter, with two giant red bug-eyes, a pair of enlarged antennae and absolutely, horrendously, covered in more purple fuzz than should be allowed, was my starter pokemon. A fucking Venonat. I just knew this was some sort of sick joke about my name, "Har Har le'ts give Nat a Gnat for a starter pokemon!" I really had to give that old bastard a bitch slap when I saw him next.
"Well at least you're not a Poochyena." More inspiring first words could not have been found.
My Venonat just looked at me with its dead, buggy, red eyes (cause THAT'S not going to get creepy anytime soon) and chirruped again.
A quick Pokedex check revealed it to be a female, knowing the moves Tackle, Foresight and Disable, and, oh yeah, did I mention that it was a FUCKING VENONAT?!
Unimpressed with my internal tantrum-slash-freak out, my Venonat started hopping around the sand; fascinated by the way its footprints seemed to follow it. A stray Caterpie was slowly making its way up the boulder to my left, when, faster than I'd have thought possible, my Venonat lunged, used its teeth the grab it by the neck and with a sickening CRUNCH started sucking up the insides of the now semi-decapitated insect.
Yeah, that was pretty impressive.
"Let the world's small insects fear us Venonat, for this day I dub thee Artemis. Goddess of hunt! Mistress of twilight! Maiden of Moon!"
My Venonat ripped the Caterpie's head off and chirped.
"Excellent."