Title: Goodbye, love.

Summary: What happens to Lauren when Bo runs out after stabbing Nadia? Some moments we never saw on the show. Angst-y and slightly dark.

Disclaimer: I own nothing and do not seek to profit from this fanfiction. Please don't sue.

Note: Title came from a song in the musical RENT.

Rating: T

Nadia's eyes are wild and amidst her fear Lauren realizes that she does not recognize the woman in front of her. When did that happen? It seems like only yesterday they were still okay. Nadia had a fever but Lauren had felt confident that she would be able to cure her ailing girlfriend.

Except she couldn't. Nadia only grew sicker, fretting and sad. Lauren grew frantic at her inability to help. Perhaps she had gotten used to being a doctor for the fae that she no longer understood the human body as well as she once did?

The knowledge of her helplessness burned deeply. (Why had she always failed this woman, her love?)

Days passed slowly and now the truth is finally out. Nadia is not just sick. She is possessed by the most frightful creature they are attempting to prepare for. The Garuda has entered Nadia's system, controlling her actions, and it is the sickest puppet show that Lauren has ever witnessed.

Nadia regains control when Bo comes and Lauren takes a deep breath in relief when she recognizes those familiar eyes. They can fight this, she thinks. They can still win this. Bo is here now and she'll make it right.

But before Lauren can do more than release her breath, reality wallops her with its truths.

Nadia is crying and she's in so much pain that Lauren cannot bear it. She wants nothing more than to ease that pain but when Nadia tells her how - with that desperate certainty ("Kill me. Now.") and the heartfelt request ("Please!") - she balks and fails. She passes the baton instead to Bo ("Do it Bo. Do it for her, do it for me.") who refuses but then it's all out of their hands because Nadia lunges for her throat again and Bo reacts instinctively.

Lauren catches Nadia's fall and covers the wound with a trembling hand as she helps her lay on the floor. Bo has stabbed her right under the rib and the way the blood is flowing, she knows that the knife must've nicked the heart.

Nadia finally looks at peace. Her eyes are clearer than they've been for days and there is a smile on her wan face. She murmurs a thank you to Bo, then transfers her gaze back to Lauren. Lauren is crying now but she can't help the shaky smile from passing her lips as she returns Nadia's smile. It has always been that way between them: when one smiles, the other cannot help but smile back.

There is love in Nadia's eyes and Lauren remembers that it's the same expression that had greeted her when Nadia first woke up after five years of sleep. For a brief shining moment, Lauren can only bask in that loving gaze and pretend that things will be okay.

But Nadia has to close her eyes as she struggles harder to breathe. She whispers I love you and goodbye, so softly, that Lauren almost misses it.

Lauren wishes that she has something more elaborate to say, particularly since this was a final goodbye (and not like the time they put Nadia in stasis and she only promised to see her soon). But her words are gone except for the I love you too that burned a hole in her throat when she let it out.

She kisses Nadia for the last time and tastes the metal of her blood. There is one last breath shared between their lips before the woman in her arms dies. Lauren shifts, stretching her legs so that Nadia can lean on Lauren's shoulder in a half hug. The limp body is already so heavy and Lauren's hand slips from the sticky wound she didn't realize she was still pressing on. The loss of pressure causes another gush of blood making everything just a bit more slippery (the scent of blood is so thick, she can almost taste it and feel it seeping into her skin); Nadia's body flops gracelessly but Lauren perseveres until she has her in her arms properly.

She doesn't know how long she sits there, holding onto her girlfriend's dead body. She cries in big heaving sobs at first, but it gets harder to hold on to Nadia that way, so Lauren tries to stifle it. She forces herself to take deep calming breaths until she is no longer hysterical and finally only the tears are left.

After the brief violent outburst of her grief, Lauren is content to shed her tears silently. She is still cradling Nadia tenderly but her mind has escaped to the memory-world.

Lauren won't realize it, but at one point she starts to hum a current pop song that Nadia had taken a liking to. Her agile brain can only handle flashing odd memories now: mostly from the last month they've been reunited- - Nadia discovering the changes wrought during her sleep and the expressions on her face as Lauren caught her up. She looks down at the body she is hugging and the images of Nadia's dismay and surprise and happiness are superimposed on that still face.

Lauren only moves when the morning light starts streaming from the windows, (tinged purple and red, courtesy of the curtains that Nadia has put up) and gingerly tries to stand on her numb feet. (In the back of her mind, she's making a to-do list: call for someone to pick up the body, shower, arrange for a cremation and then get back to work. The absolute scientist part of her mind tries to suggest dissecting the body first to see the physical effects of a Garuda possession but she shuts it out instantly. It is too much and Lauren realizes that the grief may have damaged something in her mind.)

She brushes back Nadia's hair away from her forehead and gives one last kiss to the now cold body. (It is the perfect temperature to match her own cold heart.)

"Good bye, love."