Five W's And A H

by Lina Trinch

Six starts asking questions. How did it come to this? Why do I feel this way? What am I going to do about it? Oneshot. Holix.

I had to do something because of the 'Promises, Promises' episode. Holix was in high demand here, so here we go.

Btw.

Swat!Six was the best thing since ever.

This fic is a bit murky, but that'll be explained why.

o0o

Five years. Five whole years and I still find myself asking 'how did things end up this way?' How did it come to this?

I've asked myself that in almost every situation, but it all started with Kiev. How did things end up to the point where one of the world's largest city's had to be quarteened forever?

It just snow balled after that.

I'm the sixth deadliest man in the world and I'm reduced to babysitting a fifteen-sixteen year old, that more than obviously does not want to be babysitted. I used to be able to kill a man without batting an eye, but now I even find myself second guessing the act of getting rid of a monster that had already killed hundreds of innocents.

I feel like I've been through hell and came out softer than jello.

One of the worst things about this? I don't mind it. I never have. The fact has rather... irked me on some days, but Rex would burst in my room unnanounced or Holiday would find something completely insignificant to be thrilled over and the thought would vanish again.

It has never really bothered me.

Until about two seconds ago.

Seven... -eight years ago, I wouldn't have thinked twice. I would have just done it and forgot about her. Thinking that now, I feel sick.

I wonder if the question is 'how could it come to this?' or 'how was I such a jackass?'

That blow to the head must have knocked something loose. I'm not thinking straight. I'd shake my head, try to clear out the daze, but I'd probably end up loosing my grip and that wouldn't be a good thing.

Where's Rex when you absolutely need him? He must still be in trouble. Then again, we aren't doing so hot ourselves at the moment.

There has to be something. There's always something. Always.

Well, there is something, but there has to be something else. Something that'll save her.

I never hated logic before, but it's a bitch right now. Especially when this sheet rock is about to crumble with our combined weights.

The wind starts to blow again, mocking me, as it speeds through the... canyon? I'm really not sure where we are at the moment. That blow was kind of bad. I could always blame that on the reason that I've, once again, screwed up, but it's all my fault.

To sum things up, No Face escaped the Bug Jar and it was Providence's job to put him back. I remembered our last encounter with him well, but all the preparing in the world didn't help anything. He was too inteligent, way too inteligent for an Evo, and I never even thought of the possibility that he would try to seek revenge. As it turned out, he was ready for Providence. Very ready. Some how, in the mix up of 'who had the upper hand', he had done the worst possible thing that I could think of... No, I never would have thought of it... The whole thing was a complete surprise.

He took Holiday.

How? Why? I didn't know and I, most importantly, didn't care. I didn't stop and think. I didn't even think of why I was acting the way I was. I didn't think, at all. Suddenly, the rest of the world could burn in hell, as long as she was safe.

Why didn't I think?

It didn't matter. From careful planning or pure rage, I don't know which, we found her and we got her back... for a moment. Then everything went to hell. He was ready for us. He anticipated that I would do that, barge in without thinking. How did I become so predictable to even an Evo that I've only met once? Why didn't I think? I don't even know. No one tried to stop me, though. Rex was on my side with the whole 'run in and save her' idea.

Rex? Was he even still alive? I can't remember what happened to him.

All I remember was the blow that sent me and Holiday flying off the side of a cliff. She had been ok. Still in her hazmat uniform from the fight where she was abducted and giving No Face attitude for even thinking of trying to capture her. Just like her. Always brash, but no physical strength to back it up. It wasn't like she couldn't win a fight, but I still wish she would go a little easier with that. Either way, she had been knocked unconcious by the blow.

Everything was on me now. We were, maybe, halfway down the side of the cliff. My right hand barely holding on to the rock that was crumbling even now. My left had a firm grip on her arm. I'm so glad she's unconcious right now. I don't need her freaking out or something, though, I doubt she'd do that.

Then, there was the other element, the third party so to speak. A little to my left, within my range, was another ledge only big enough for a hand to grip. It was nice and sturdy and the one that I had been aiming for. Of course, I screwed up, again, and missed it.

It asked me a question and I ignored it. How did it come to that? How did it come to the point where I wouldn't even consider trading her life for my own? It's not like we're really going to live through this.

Either we both die or she dies.

And here I am. Telling a rock to go to hell. I'm jello. Green jello.

That blow had to have done some damage. I should be more scared than this. I should be trying to make a decision.

What decision? Me or neither of us? Bullshit. There has to be something. This is just redundant. Maybe Rex can get to us before this rock finally gives way. It's the only hope I can think of right now.

Another warm hand softly wraps around my wrist. Damn. If this rock ever gave, I was hoping she'd be out if we had to die. Guess that wish is gone. Upon looking down at her, I automatically notice the fear in her eyes, but she looks like she has the right mind set. She must have already seen the situation before letting me know she was concious.

"Morning, Doctor," is all I'm able to tell her. It's what I usually say when she wakes up anyway. Dangling a few miles over ground level shouldn't change that.

"Six," she replies. Not her usual reply, but it seems like she's trying to tell me something anyway. Her voice seemed stronger. Her voice always seems different, though. I know what it sounds like. Sometimes, it's on a loop in my head, but whenever she speaks, it's always... I don't know. It's different to actually hear it. It's even more different when she looks at me, like now. She usually has more emotion in her eyes, though. They look like stone right now.

They glide over to look above her. I follow the line of sight to see the ledge that I had been cursing at a few seconds ago.

I can already see where this is going. I've told her before that good heart of hers will get her killed one day. Doesn't matter. When someone is faced with death, their views change about things. That and-

"Let go." Her voice, in a whisper, drifts up to me.

I look back down to her. "No." There is no way on Earth that I'm letting go of her. If it were that easy, I would've just left her with No Face, instead of sacrificing at least half of Providence troops trying to find her. Besides, if she dies, that's a waste of millions of tax payer dollars. It just doesn't make sense, financially.

She glances away from me again, this time to the ledge that I have a death grip. "That's not going to hold forever, Six. Not with both of us."

"Yeah," I say looking back to my hand, "I know." I have been trying to figure out a way that she could live and I could go, but I've only come up with one solition so far. It's too risky. With my head injury and the way I've been screwing up left and right. I'll only get one shot at it, then, maybe, by pure luck, I could probably save myself, but if saving her is bleak, then saving myself is zero at best. If this ledge gives before I come up with something else, I'll have to try it.

"You're usually the logical one," she tells me. I can hear the hint of anger in her voice. She's trying to pick a fight with me, so I'll be more willing to let her go. Yeah, like that's going to work. "Not the stupid one. You really want to throw your life away?"

"Not really throwing it away," I reason. For some reason, nothing wants to phase me right now. There's no fear, no anger, no self-hatred, just calm. Maybe I'm just accepting that I'm about to die. I'm much more at peace with it than I thought I'd be. Maybe that's because it's for a good reason. A reason that matters to me.

"They still need you, Six," she continues, "You can't just give up like this."

"I haven't given up, yet." On her that is. I'm dead.

"Do you really expect me to believe you have another plan?" I open my mouth to answer, but she continues first. "To save us both?" Damn woman knows me too well.

"No, not really."

"So, we're just going to die?"

"Guess so."

She's surprised. I don't have to look at her to tell. She thinks that I've accepted this and that I won't do anything. She thinks that since I can't save her, that I'm just going to die, too. She probably feels a bit humbled by that, but I know her, too. Right now, she thinks less of me. Even though it's her life for mine, she still thinks it. Just because it's not the most 'logical' move, probably.

Things have changed. If it was anyone else, even Callan, I would drop them. I would tell him 'I'm sorry' first and I'd feel horrible about it for a few years, if not the rest of my life. But I know he'd do the same, in this situation. He's a soldier, just like me. We understand it.

Even Rex. Course, that's only because he has a jetpack and could save us.

But it's her. Her. This is different. I can't let her die because I screwed up. I can't let her die, at all.

When did it get to the point where I would give my life for her? Where did that come from? I don't get attached to people. You could ask her that. She's known me for the past... five years... Has it really been that long? It still seems like I met her yesterday. It still seems like I don't know her all that well, but I do. I guess I felt the same back then, too. We could carry a conversation like it was nothing and when there wasn't anything else to talk about, even the silence was nice.

It's been five years and nothing has changed between us. There was never a moment when I questioned how I felt about her. There was never any notion of a 'relationship' enter my mind. All those late nights we've pulled during work, nothing ever happened. Nothing ever 'almost' happened. Well, there were a few... instances... of something... I don't even know what... but it seemed so natural, I guess I never noticed it. Just a few longer held glances than were intended. A few brushes between us. Never really physical contact. Just a few moments where I almost did something, completly forgetting the fact that everything else existed, but it would register before I ever did it. I noticed, during these times, that the same thing happens to her. It's been like that, for the past five years. Everything has been the same between us, ever since we met.

So why am I like this? Now? Nothing's changed from the moment I've layed eyes on her. I have, sure, but it all happened on that same day.

Maybe... Maybe things haven't ever changed between us... Maybe it's always been there. No, it has. I know it has and even dangling over the edge of a cliff, I still can't admit it.

The reason that nothing has changed is because I still feel exactly the same about her from the moment I've first seen her to right now. I'll feel this way until I'm dead. I'll feel this way after I'm dead. Long after. It'll never go away.

I know her. I know she feels the same. Why haven't we done anything? Is it as much the fact that we're coworkers as it is that someone might try to kill her... just to... get to me...? Dammit. No Face knew. I guess that's why we haven't done anything. But still, I wouldn't have minded the memory. Especially right now. I mean, I am about to die.

I feel her fingers try to wind themselves through mine and an increased pressure on my wrist. My first instinct is to grip tighter. Upon looking down at her, I notice the determination etched on her face. "What do you think you're doing?"

Her eyes don't look up at me. I know why. She'll start crying if she does and she does not like to cry, ever. Instead, she answers my question in her normal way. "I am not about to let you die, because of me."

Since she has two hands and I only have one, she's actually starting to make some progress. "That's exactly what I was thinking," I answer back. She still doesn't look up at me. "Stop it," I growl down, trying a different approach, "Do you want to die?"

Her eyes snap up to mine and my jaw instantly clenches. "Don't answer that," I say instead. The reason she hasn't put a bullet through her skull, is because she's a fighter, but even she's gotten tired before. I was there and she never mentioned it, but I was still ready to stop her with force if necessary. It never came to that, though, but I know her. The thought has gone through her head a few times long ago, but things have gotten a bit better since then. Or maybe Rex has taken her mind off of it, with his constant hitting on her and all.

Her eyes quickly dart away, but her hands don't stop moving.

"Holiday-"

"There isn't another option, Six," she says, her eyes staying on her hands, "Let me go."

"No," I try again, firmer this time.

One of her hands has somehow gotten itself in a small space between my hand and her arm. "You have to let me go. We'll both die if you don't."

"And you'll die if I do," I answer, not really listening. I'm trying to focus on my grip on her. It's getting difficult with just one hand.

"You have to," she pleads, her eyes finally glancing up at me.

"I don't even pay taxes, Doctor. I don't have to do anything."

"Then, I'll have to."

"I'll jump." Yeah, that stopped her. Her eyes are searching mine. That's the reason I wear these shades. My eyes show what I'm thinking and to expose that to her would be bad... I guess... Still though, she's trying to see my eyes, not for the first time. Trying to get a read on me.

It seems that she has come to a conclusion. "You won't. You're too logical, remember?"

"You were the one that said I wasn't," I counter back. What does she mean I won't?

Apparently, she decided to clarify. "You won't waste it."

"My life? Again, you were the one that said that-"

"You won't waste my sacrifice."

...

I can't even think right now. My mind has just gone blank.

Wasting her sacrifice... Wasting the fact that she gave her life to save mine.

She's right. I wouldn't do that. In fact, with her gone, that is the only reason I wouldn't do that.

But still, does she really expect me to just roll over and give?

"Apparently, you don't know me as well I thought." This is true. She just hasn't realized exactly what I meant by 'jump'. Though, she knows me well enough, and calls my bluff.

Her eyes dart back to her hands with new focus and she continues trying to lossen my grip on her. "You won't do it," she mutters to herself, trying to make herself believe that I won't.

Dammit. This is getting bad. Dammit.

Her arm slips in my hand, but, through my heart skipping, I grab her hand again. Though this time, the grip isn't all that great. This is bad.

"Dammit, Holiday!," I yell down at her, my head hurting from the act. This is so bad. I can't let her do this. "You really think I won't?"

"Yes, I think you won't," she breaths, her eyes glancing up to me. They're much softer than before. She's trying, I know she is, but the tears are already about to spill out. I can't believe this. She's just going to throw her life away for something like me? This is ridiculous! She's about to talk again and here I am, only just now realizing that I'm hanging on her every breath. "I'm sorry, Six. I'm so sorry." I know. I know. Just don't do this. This is stupid. "Bye." There's her tears. I know what's coming.

Suddenly, my hand is empty. I grip the air, then try to reach out.

Everything feels so... slow. She's right there. Just a few inches from my hand and slowly, but still way too fast for my tastes, is getting further and further away.

My heart has stopped. The air in my chest freezes. My eyes widen.

This can't be happening.

How did this happen?

Just like that. Just like... that. Those last five years don't count for shit. Everything's... gone.

No.

Using my foot to push off from the side of the rock wall, I jump. A katana flicking out from my sleeve, I dive down for her. I'm so thankful for all this slow motion stuff right now. Everything feels so precise... like this was supposed to happen... Hell, it probably was. I'd much rather give my life for something like this, than the regular getting-impaled-by-a-random-evo idea. I actually kind of like this. This is kind of what I... prefer. At least, I know she'll be ok.

I quickly catch up to a very surprised Holiday. She really didn't think I'd do it. Heh.

My arm wraps around her waist. Somehow without managing to stab her or myself, I manage to slice through the armor plates of her gear on her shoulder and pierce it through the rock wall beside us. It's sturdy. It'll hold, at least long enough until someone comes to check.

She's too shocked to stop me or curse me out. Before she really realizes what's going on, I've already fallen away from her.

My other katana slices through the air. I pierce another side of the rock, trying to catch myself, just a few feet from her so I can hear all her ranting when she comes back to normal. Except, the sword doesn't catch like it did with her. I lose my grip on the hilt. She sees it. She knows.

I can hear her scream, but that's all.

Things have sped up again. Death is coming faster than I thought, I guess. At least, I don't have to sit through her bitching about this whole situation... I guess, that's a plus. I always hate her arguments, because, most of the time, she's right.

But this time, I have a good reason on my side. And she can't bitch, because she's guilty of the same damn thing, just a few seconds ago. For the same reasons and everything. I do hate that she'll have to live with it, but at least she'll live. She's strong. She'll get through this. She'll be fine.

I would've fallen apart. I'm so weak when it comes to this stuff. She's better suited for it. I'm the physical type. I have no problems with dying. Besides, the world still needs her. They can find another sword-weilding grunt. Though, they'd have a hard time finding someone better than me, they can and will replace me. Probably with Callan.

Callan and Rex already get along. That won't be a problem. And he knows the Doctor well enough. Not as well as I do, but well enough. He's mentioned to me, a few times, about how good she looks and things like that. He's asked before why I haven't done anything. I didn't answer, but I think he knows why.

It's because... Dammit, I still can't say it.

He's a good man. He'll treat her good. Everything will be ok. The world doesn't need me. They don't need me. Everything's ok.

I wish I had a little more time, though. I still wouldn't tell her and I wouldn't do anything for anyone, but still... Just spending a little more time with them... With my family... The people close to me... The people I love... That would have been enough.

...

I guess, I'm done now.

The wind suddenly flys by me and something grabs me under my arms.

"Jesus!," a young, all-too familiar voice screams by my ear, forever obnoxious, "You almost gave me a heart attack."

Well, at least, now he knows the feeling. "Rex," I answer with a sigh, "Where have you been?"

"Trying to take care of No Face," he answers me. Without any prompting, he explains, "I managed to knock him out and Captain Callan is putting him in lockdown right now, until we get him back to the Bug Jar, anyway."

"Good." Well, at least that's one problem solved.

I didn't even realize we were flying up, until a very shrill, very grating voice enters my head and scratches on the tiny, green, blackboards in my brain. "Dammit, Six!," Holiday screams.

Thankfully, Rex flys back a little, allowing my head to miss her kicking leg by a few inches. "What the hell was that? You're such an idiot!" She continues the screaming and kicking for a little bit. I'm starting to wonder if my sword will actually hold until she finally stops and just breaks down.

"Doc...?" Rex is concerned, of course. I guess, he didn't see what happened. Best to just let him not know.

I look up at him. "Let's just get to vertical ground, for now."

He just nods, a little confused and probably frightened about what Holiday will do next. Still, once I get a hold on to his... boogie pack... I still hate that name... he removes the sword, stabbing it back into the rock, and grabs her. Not waiting another second, he flys us straight back up and touches down to level ground.

This is nice. A flat surface, I mean. It's nice.

He sets her down, holding her as she falls to the ground. She doesn't even look at him and he's still concerned.

"Overwhelmed," I tell him, then point at the cliff, "Go get my swords." He glances back at her, but still goes back.

She purposely turns her head away from me. She's pissed off. I would be, too.

I don't even know why, but I still walk up to her and kneel down beside her. My arm wraps around her shoulders. As expected, she doesn't shrug me off, but she's still... pissed. Her eyes, green, sharp, most beautiful I've ever seen them, snaps to me, giving me two looks at once. One of them is 'go to hell'. The other is... well... I guess it sums up to 'I'm glad you're ok' but it goes a little deeper than that.

"You're an idiot," her voice whispers. Screaming, whispering, it doesn't matter, it still sounds so great, whether it's grating against my nerves or not.

"I know."

She's knows I'd do it again. In a heartbeat. She blinks back whatever was coming to her eyes and looks away. I can't blame her, but I still wish she'd look back.

I don't know if it's because it happened so fast or it was just one of those 'natural' things again. Suddenly, her arms are around me and her face is buried in my neck. Somewhere in this, my arms had wrapped around her back. I'm holding her tight and close. She pulls back to look at me and I notice that I'm now looking at her.

That beautiful face. I thought I'd never see her again. It feels good to be wrong sometimes.

The wind picks up again and Rex touches down beside us, my swords in tow. "Did I miss something?," he asks, a little bewildered by our closeness, no doubt.

I look back to her now beaming face. I'm pretty sure that I'm even smiling after that. "Not really," I answer him, standing up and steadying her by her elbows in the process as she stands with me. With another second of the touch, we both let go.

I turn to the kid. "Thank you, Rex." Seriously. Thanks. He probably thinks it's for getting the swords back, though. He flicks the hilts out towards me, so I can grab them, with that sarcastic grin on his face.

"Come on, Six. You know I'd be bored without ya." Classic Rex.

I take the katanas from him, flicking them back and hiding them in my sleeves. "For the swords, I mean," I lie, "Thanks." I might be stoic, but even I can be dramatic sometimes. He just... makes a joke from everything... It's honestly hilarious at moments, but still, I can't let him know that.

"Oh ha ha," he says, pushing past me.

I walk to follow him, noticing that I don't have a shadow. Turning back, I notice her, looking back to the cliff.

"It's over now," I tell her. There's no point in looking back. It happened. We didn't die. It's over.

"Yeah," she sighs, trying to leave it behind. She falls in line beside me, walking back to the jet that's waiting for us.

I don't know where, but somewhere, I'd done something that allowed my final wish to be granted. I get a little more time with them. More time with Rex. More time with her. I don't know if I'll ever say it or admit it, but at least I get to see her a few more times. Talk to her a few more times.

How did it come to that? To the point where all I can possibly want is just some more time to spend with them?

Who cares? Take what you can get.

Glancing back at her, everything's ok. So, thanks, to whatever's out there... and Rex, I guess.

I'll have to get him something now... Damn kids... I'm still smiling, though, so I guess it's still ok.

For more time, I'll do and give anything... except for them... except for her... I should revise that. For her... I'll do anything for her...

o0o

Muhahaha! This sort of travels down the same tone as 'Blur', but it's still awesome! (Which Blur was, too.)

I made this a oneshot, cuz I don't want a chapter story right now. With Breakeven and all. I've been sick, which is why it hasn't been updated in so long, but it will be soon. As of now, I have two other oneshot ideas, so I may do those first.

Also, I proofread, but it was a 'half-ass' kind of thing.

Anywho.

Read and Review!