Summary: Ambushed by Decepticons, Mudflap and Skids power up to find they are stuck in their alt-modes, with no communication. And they're in a chop-shop. The results are ...interesting. Rated T for swearing and violence. This story is inspired by a Castor Oil commercial (dis. I do not own it!) In it an old Scots man goes around whacking people on the back of the leg yelling, "Think with yar dipstick Jiammy!" Hence the title… "Dip-stick Mania"
(Major thanks to Gixxer Pilot for helping me remembers the ad in question. *Sends cyber-hug*) ^-^ = thoughts *-* = over channel Disclaimer: I don't own Transformers. I just write this for fun. Chapter 1: Ambush.
"Man, thesa be trouble! Whya them 'Cons gotta diss us like this?" complained Mudflap as he fired off several shots in succession.
"Cause them 'Cons, man! And dumbafts!" Skids spat as he dove behind a patch of scrub.
A whoosh of air and a sharp crack of air told the twins that one of the Decepticon jets had joined the battle.
"Pathetic scum, you only prolong your miserable existence," shrieked Starscream as he banked over the Everglades.
Transforming in mid-air, he crashed down on-top of Skids' temporary cover .
Skids let out a yelp as Starscream's claws raked across his armor.
"You is crazy, man! Ya think I can't dance with yo aft and hand ya the smackdown? I been duckin from 'Hide and the Hachet together and yo ain't even close ta them! Slowmo!" the green twin taunted.
Starscream snarled as he swiped at Skids again, but this time Skids was ready for him.
As Starscream reached to rake his claws at the small 'bot, Skids smashed a jagged piece of armor that had been knocked off of the other 'Con down onto his hand, severing a claw.
Starscream leapt backwards with a audio-ringing screech. "You miserable Autobot! I will enjoy shredding your protoform to scrap!" Starscream yelled as he transformed.
Meanwhile Mudflap was having his own problems. "Whaz wrong, ya scrap-piece. Ta much high graded?" the red twin smirked.
Mixmaster, one of the three survivors of the Devastator gestalt, snarled at the red coup. He hadn't forgotten the insult that the twins had given his gestalt team, namely destroying one of the Devastator 's optics.
*Get on yer comm. line on, ya aft. We gotta call fer help!* Skids snapped over the internal comm. line. He was keeping one optic on Starscream who was in the middle of power-diving him, and one on his twin.
*Back off bro, I got it covered!* Mudflap snapped back as he switched frequencies. Unknown to either twin was the fact that they had just been outnumbered.
*Starscream : Acknowledge,* Soundwave announced over the Decepticon frequency. *We must jam their communication or the Autobots will know of our attempts to sabotage the fleshlings' space program.* Starscream said savagely.
*Ready the pulse-randomizer* *Caution : Untested * Soundwave warned. *Well now is the perfect time to do so! Find the frequency they are broadcasting the distress call and punch it through that!* the Air Commander ordered.
*Decision: Unwise. Alternative: Twin frequency.* Starscream was incredulous. *I thought you couldn't touch a twin-bond frequency. Especially out of reach of one* he stated.
Soundwave sent the jet a geosematic of where exactly he was located in the battle, which happened to be right behind Mudflap, under the surface of the water. *Requested: Distractions* Soundwave added.
Starscream was only too happy to oblige. *Mixmaster, prepare to switch targets,* Starscream ordered as he swooped down towards Skids.
At the last possible astro-second, he pulled up with his afterburners going into overdrive.. This caused a horrendous back-wash that knocked Skids off-balance. Mixmaster took advantage of the green twin's predicament and slammed into his left side, sending him sprawling.
As Skids went down, the back-wash hit Mudflap. He had been distracted from his S.O.S. call by his twin's plight and the blast of supersonic air caught him unprepared.
He landed hard on his backplates which was exactly what Soundwave had been waiting for. Metallic tentacles shot out of the Deception's body in a rapid movement towards his chest plates.
They dove under the heavy amour and just barely touched Mudflap's spark chamber. As Soundwave triggered the experimental device, the red twin's spark defense program kicked into high gear.
It sent a savage EMP through the tentacles and into Soundwave's systems. However this did not disable the satellite infiltrator, merely paralyzed him for a long second.
It had happened so fast that neither Mudflap nor Skids could react before they went offline. "Excellent!" Starscream purred, as the twins were forced through their transformation to the alt-forms with painful slowness.
The jet then picked up a compact in each claw and snickered. "I'll just dump these in a appropriate place and we can get on with our mission.
Mudflap on lined very slowly feeling like he'd over-energized on a poisonous type of hi-grade. Even his thoughts were slurred and lisping. ^Wha... th'...slag... happn... ta... me? Feels lik I ben inta 'Hides' szash afer Sun and 'Side don smix it. Wher' sm I anway?^
With that thought Mudflap tried to transform only to find that he'd been stuck in alt-mode. He also realized that no, he wasn't at Diego Garcia, and that his sensors didn't detect any other Autobot. Increasingly frantic, he opened his comm. to the all-frequency channel.
*Ta any Autabot reading me, hist is Mudflap! I'm in throuble! Lacation unknawn, currantly unabill ta thansform.* Nothing but static. Suddenly his audios registered one of the most beautiful noises in the universe. Skids groaning.
"Skidth! Wherth arf ya," Mudflap yelped as he started his engine. A flash of light from Skids' headlights guided the red compact over to his twin.
"Where are we an' what we doin' herrre?" Skids asked, his speech only slightly slurred. "I ain't surth. Last thinn I rememver is ya an' me battlin' Desepticans, an thean.." Mudflap trailed off suddenly as he remembered Soundwave's overwhelming assault.
Skids sounded his horn impatiently, startling his twin. But instead of a angry outburst, Mudflap whimpered.
Skids found himself reliving the last few second of conscious processing along with his twin through their bond. And he exploded in a protective rage.
Mudflap watched numbly as Skids shot around the darkened area spewing curses in Cybertronian and ramming everything in his line of optics. The swearing soon turned more colorful as Skids switched from Cybertronian to English.
"Slaggin' piece of scrap tin-crap! I'm gonna rip his spark case out and stick it in a nuker an' see how he likes being fragged ovr' an' ovr. An' then," BANG! "..I'ma gonna take his case an' ram it up 'Screamer's aft an' take Jolt's whip and hit 'em both! Nobody does that ta my twin! NOBODY!"
Mudflap had finally been shaken out of his doldrums. "Alrigt Skids," he called snickering. "ya gat ma attenthin. Naw, I can' tranthform an' I can' rawis nobady. I'ma gessin that ya can either."
Skids snarled as his alt-mode shook, but answered back quietly enough. "Ya been awake lon' enough ta think this all though, ain't ya?"
Mudflap mentally shook his head and switch to the one form of internal communication that remained to them. *Naws man! I knaw tha' wha'ver ol' Sounder did, he done it though tha twin-bond.*
Skids sent a silent affirmative back and backed up till he was side-by-side to Mudflap. Now both twins had their lights sweeping over the 'room' they were in.
Skids' rampage had knocked over work benches and scattered tools, but there was other things in the room. Mainly cars and car-parts. *Aw, man! * Skids suddenly whined. *I know where we are! Chop-shop!*
*Ya shure thas ain't a mechanic's shothp?* Mudflap shot back. *Course I am! Look over there. They've got a semi and tha trailer's got cars with tha ignition stripped. We is in BBIIGG troubl.*
Mudflap settled back on his axles. * Nat totally. I hears them humans comin' but whn I's open tha call ta base, Prame intirruptid 'Sides. He musta knawn we's in traubiil. Sah all we gatta do is keep tha humans frum touchin' us til he gats herth.*
Skids snorted in disgust, than brightened. *Souns lika 'scare the slag outta the humans' time!* he exclaimed gleefully. And thus the twins began to plan in earnest.
Ya I know. This was suppose to be a one-shot. And a funny one at that. But it's takn a life of it own. Don't worry, chapter two will be coming. And it will be manic! *cackles* Please take a couple minutes and review. Thankee! Laureas.