Voices
– I do not own the Avengers or Tony Stark. All rights belong to Marvel. The quotes are from the movies "The Avengers", "Iron Man" and "Iron Man 2". –
Sometimes, Tony wished he could just turn his thoughts off. Sure, as a genius, they were what defined him, but then he at least wouldn't have to hear the voices. And, maybe, it might be worth it. It might be worth the complete destruction of Tony, of himself and all that he was, if he could just shut out those voices.
He heard them everywhere. When he was sleeping, at the board meetings, the press conferences, relaxing with his team. Constantly they pressed in on him, reverberating in his mind, and he just wanted to scream at them to shut up.
His workshop was the only reprieve. When he was working on an idea, with music blaring through the speakers, his mind was blessedly silent, solely focused on achieving the impossible, on making it work.
But then, inadvertently, he would have to stop. For sleep, sustenance, team meetings, board meetings, press conferences or a call to assemble, and the voices would return, as if they had never been gone, tearing at his confidence, beating down his spirit, until the only thing he could do was retreat behind the mask. Show the world the "genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist", while the voices echoed in his head.
"A circuit board? Pathetic. Don't you see it needs to be improved here? And here, and here, and here? Scrap it, and make yourself useful searching for Captain America. If you have to mess everything up, then at least help me find my real son."
"You think you're smart, because you got in here at fifteen. Well, don't worry, you're not. You can't do anything right. If it wasn't for daddies money, no one would ever want you. Not a single soul."
"Do you really think that just because you have an idea, it belongs to you?"
"Hey, Tony. Before you go, palladium in the chest, painful way to die"
"I quit. I'm resigning. My body literally can't handle the stress. I don't know when you're going to kill yourself, or mess up the whole company..."
"Iron Man, yes. Tony Stark, not recommended."
"Big man in a suit of armour. Take that off, what are you?"
"I know guys with none of that worth ten of you."
"Always a way out. You know, you may not be a threat, but you'd better stop pretending to be a hero."
On and on they went. Friends, enemies, family, team mates. On and on, and sometimes, when he was alone, visiting that dark place inside him, he thought that, maybe, maybe, they might just be right.
And slowly, he started believing them.