Chapter 1
Fluttering open her eyelids, thickly lined with bristly black lashes, her emerald green eyes, which had so often been flashed cleverly to trap some unsuspecting man, shimmered with the excitement of a new day. A light breeze ruffled her curtains and made her feel flirty and giddy all at once. Stretching delicate arms above her head, she was a t total peace with the world.
Today, Scarlett O'Hara was sixteen again. Leaning her elbows on the freshly painted windowsill, she felt excited. The sun was shining, the birds calling her to greet the new day, to make it her own. White fields, studded with thickly growing cotton exhilarated her. She drank in the country air, the smells of magnolias and manure intoxicating her. The world lay before her, with dances and parties, barbecues and beau, colorful gowns and smooth country rides. Scarlett floated off into her own little world, content to just be the belle of the county. She was home, at Tara. This was where she belonged, where she gained her strength.
All too suddenly, the wailing of a child floated to her and she was brought back down to earth, to the sickening reality that was her life. No, she was not sixteen, she was not young and carefree. All the responsibilities descended onto her back, holding her down.
She had told herself tomorrow, everything would sort itself out, tomorrow, she would be free.
Well, tomorrow had long since passed. The whirlwind of the past few days came to her and she felt nauseous. She had had so much to do in Atlanta, seeing as how she had been the person everyone turned to after Melanie had gone.
Oh, Melly! Dear, sweet, kind, loving Melly. Scarlett had never known it, but she had needed Melanie, just like so many of those Melly had known. Melanie never said an unkind word, never thought bad of anyone, was always there to pat your head and let you weep upon her shoulder, her own tears mixing with yours. And now, she was gone forever. Just now, when she could never see her again, Scarlett realized she had loved and desperately needed her. Every thought of hatred, every loathing sentiment, every unkind wish directed toward Melanie came back to Scarlett, brought tears of self-hatred to her eyes. She had been so mean and uncaring to Melanie. Why, she use to hate the way she would hug her to give comfort. Right now, she yearned for a soft touch like Melly's. If only......
Oh, she couldn't do that. She couldn't always wish to change the past. That was what made people weak and no O'Hara had ever been weak. She had to think about what she was going to do. Yet, her mind kept drifting back to the past few days. Ha, that was a laugh. From her view, it was a decade since everyone she loved had left her.
She had immediately taken charge of the funeral preparations. Oh, there were so many things to be done for a funeral. Invitations, a priest, flowers, the burial site, a coffin..... on and on the list went. Though she had many offers of help, from Aunt Pitty, the Meades, Mrs. Merriweather, Mrs. Elsing, almost any person Melly had ever come in contact with, they were no help. The women would cry at the slightest utterance of some noble deed Melanie had done for them, the men becoming quiet and staring into space. And always, when Scarlett roused them from their grieving times, she was met with queer looks, that lingered on in Scarlett's memory. Always, people wondered why Scarlett would not cry, would not ask to be left alone and run to her room to stay there for days on end. Because, Scarlett refused to cry.
Scarlett knew that if she let one tear drop, one word falter sadly, she would not be able to stop. And so, she pressed on, the solid beacon of hope for those sad mourners. For, no one else could stand quite as solidly or act so strong like Scarlett could.
And finally, one rainy day, Melly was buried. Fat rain drops pattered the umbrellas, wetting the ground, as if the whole world was mourning the death of such a great lady. The mud ran in red rivulets, soaking the tips of mourning dresses, but no one bothered to raise them out of harm's way. Scarlett stood straight, her chin parallel to the ground, an umbrella gripped so tightly, her knuckles turned a deathly white.
"No, I shall not cry. When I get to Tara I'll cry. When this is all over, I'll go to Tara and lay down this load," she thought, over and over, like it was her heart beating, the only thing keeping her alive.
"Yes, Mrs. Meade, look at me like that. I don't care if you think I'm indecent, not bawling my eyes out. You old peahen!" Scarlett was sick and tired of the Old Guard always judging her. Her money was supposed to have changed all that. They were supposed to be envious, to beg to be her friend. Well, they never did. "Who cares, I have new friends!", was her answer to that.
"Why, I think I'll have a party after this! That ought to show them that I don't care what they think!" The moment she thought of the party, she could have smacked herself. A party! This was Melly's funeral, she was supposed to be mourning her sister-in-law's death. She couldn't dare have a party! I've got to get my mind off of parties and only my enjoyment.
She turned and looked where Ashley stood. Poor Ashley! In a matter of days, he had turned into an old man. His shoulders sagged pathetically and he was openly weeping. India Wilkes and Aunt Pitty were both bawling and trying to comfort Ashley at the same time. Suddenly, Ashley sank to his knees and pitifully called for his wife.
"Melly! I can't go on without you! Melly! Melly!" On and on he screamed the name. He fell into the mud, still yelling for her. Scarlett shut her eyes tightly. She tried to shut out the screams but it was no use. They gnawed at her insides until she couldn't stand it. Why wouldn't anyone go to him, slap him square in the face, make him stop! Opening her eyes, she realized the service was going on as if nothing had happened, as if a grown man was not writhing on the ground like a child. What was wrong with these people! Scarlett resigned herself to the fact that she would always be the one to take care of problems. She began to make her way over to Ashley when she was stopped by a hand on her shoulder.
"I wouldn't do that if you still want to have any fragment of a reputation left," a voice jibed in her ear. She knew that voice! Turning ever so slightly, she was met with dark eyes set in a swarthy pirate face.
"Rhett!"She whispered the name ever so slightly and hearing it again made her heart swell. He had come back! Now, now she could lay down her load and cry upon his broad shoulders. She turned to him and fell into his strong, muscled arms. Finally, she began to cry. Rhett pat her softly on the back and held her tightly. Oh, now everything would turn out right! She had Rhett back and now she would show him how much she loved him. They would leave Atlanta, go traveling across the world and she would have a baby. Oh, a baby! A bright-eyed girl like Bonnie or a devilish son, just like Rhett. She would make him so happy! Her mind continued on in this happy wonderland.
All too suddenly, Rhett released her and she realized the gathering was going inside of Aunt Pitty's house for refreshments. Scarlett clamped onto Rhett's arm and leaned against. Her heart sang when she realized he did not pull away. He loved her!
The rest of the funeral was a complete blur. All she knew was that she would never be sad or lonely again. She had Rhett back!
Finally, Rhett walked her to the carriage and helped her inside the took his seat across from her. Immediately, she began to babble to him about everything.
"Oh Rhett! I knew you would come back! I knew you must have read in my eyes that I truly did love you! Rhett, we'll be so happy together! I just know it! We can sell the house her on Peachtree and go sailing across the world! And I can give you -"
She was cut short by icy words. "My dear, I did not come back to fall in love with you again. I tried that once and I got a rather poor payment in return. I came here to say farewell to a very great lady and to see what you would do to get yourself in trouble. If I had not been there you would have made a dreadful mistake. I could just see in your eyes you wanted to stride over and slap that poor man out of his mourning process. And while that may have been one of the best things for him, it would have been horrible for your already minuscule reputation. I do not care what you do with the monstrosity on Peachtree and you can go sailing all the way to China for all I care. As for what you could give me, well, I don't think there is much I don't already have. Well, I don't have you but, that was by choice."
Scarlett's heart plummeted to the bottom of her chest. He was making fun of her, spitting on her declaration of love for a second time. Why had she been so stupid to think he had actually come back for her? She had made a fool of herself like she so often did when he was around. She was not sure whether she wanted to slap him or kill herself. She was at a complete loss for words and just sat there, staring at the floor.
Rhett called to the coachman and he stopped at the depot. Rhett picked up his hat, and patted Scarlett's hand.
"Cheer up, maybe you will finally get that man of your dreams."
How dare he bring up Ashley at a time like this! Her eyes flamed wildly and she looked up finally, to see that jeering smile Rhett always flashed to irritate her. She wanted to hurt him, wound him deeply.
"Rhett Butler, I never want to see you again as long as I live."
" Likewise, my dear." He turned away and walked carelessly to his train. Scarlett's eyes welled up with tears as she watched him leave her for the second time.
Fluttering open her eyelids, thickly lined with bristly black lashes, her emerald green eyes, which had so often been flashed cleverly to trap some unsuspecting man, shimmered with the excitement of a new day. A light breeze ruffled her curtains and made her feel flirty and giddy all at once. Stretching delicate arms above her head, she was a t total peace with the world.
Today, Scarlett O'Hara was sixteen again. Leaning her elbows on the freshly painted windowsill, she felt excited. The sun was shining, the birds calling her to greet the new day, to make it her own. White fields, studded with thickly growing cotton exhilarated her. She drank in the country air, the smells of magnolias and manure intoxicating her. The world lay before her, with dances and parties, barbecues and beau, colorful gowns and smooth country rides. Scarlett floated off into her own little world, content to just be the belle of the county. She was home, at Tara. This was where she belonged, where she gained her strength.
All too suddenly, the wailing of a child floated to her and she was brought back down to earth, to the sickening reality that was her life. No, she was not sixteen, she was not young and carefree. All the responsibilities descended onto her back, holding her down.
She had told herself tomorrow, everything would sort itself out, tomorrow, she would be free.
Well, tomorrow had long since passed. The whirlwind of the past few days came to her and she felt nauseous. She had had so much to do in Atlanta, seeing as how she had been the person everyone turned to after Melanie had gone.
Oh, Melly! Dear, sweet, kind, loving Melly. Scarlett had never known it, but she had needed Melanie, just like so many of those Melly had known. Melanie never said an unkind word, never thought bad of anyone, was always there to pat your head and let you weep upon her shoulder, her own tears mixing with yours. And now, she was gone forever. Just now, when she could never see her again, Scarlett realized she had loved and desperately needed her. Every thought of hatred, every loathing sentiment, every unkind wish directed toward Melanie came back to Scarlett, brought tears of self-hatred to her eyes. She had been so mean and uncaring to Melanie. Why, she use to hate the way she would hug her to give comfort. Right now, she yearned for a soft touch like Melly's. If only......
Oh, she couldn't do that. She couldn't always wish to change the past. That was what made people weak and no O'Hara had ever been weak. She had to think about what she was going to do. Yet, her mind kept drifting back to the past few days. Ha, that was a laugh. From her view, it was a decade since everyone she loved had left her.
She had immediately taken charge of the funeral preparations. Oh, there were so many things to be done for a funeral. Invitations, a priest, flowers, the burial site, a coffin..... on and on the list went. Though she had many offers of help, from Aunt Pitty, the Meades, Mrs. Merriweather, Mrs. Elsing, almost any person Melly had ever come in contact with, they were no help. The women would cry at the slightest utterance of some noble deed Melanie had done for them, the men becoming quiet and staring into space. And always, when Scarlett roused them from their grieving times, she was met with queer looks, that lingered on in Scarlett's memory. Always, people wondered why Scarlett would not cry, would not ask to be left alone and run to her room to stay there for days on end. Because, Scarlett refused to cry.
Scarlett knew that if she let one tear drop, one word falter sadly, she would not be able to stop. And so, she pressed on, the solid beacon of hope for those sad mourners. For, no one else could stand quite as solidly or act so strong like Scarlett could.
And finally, one rainy day, Melly was buried. Fat rain drops pattered the umbrellas, wetting the ground, as if the whole world was mourning the death of such a great lady. The mud ran in red rivulets, soaking the tips of mourning dresses, but no one bothered to raise them out of harm's way. Scarlett stood straight, her chin parallel to the ground, an umbrella gripped so tightly, her knuckles turned a deathly white.
"No, I shall not cry. When I get to Tara I'll cry. When this is all over, I'll go to Tara and lay down this load," she thought, over and over, like it was her heart beating, the only thing keeping her alive.
"Yes, Mrs. Meade, look at me like that. I don't care if you think I'm indecent, not bawling my eyes out. You old peahen!" Scarlett was sick and tired of the Old Guard always judging her. Her money was supposed to have changed all that. They were supposed to be envious, to beg to be her friend. Well, they never did. "Who cares, I have new friends!", was her answer to that.
"Why, I think I'll have a party after this! That ought to show them that I don't care what they think!" The moment she thought of the party, she could have smacked herself. A party! This was Melly's funeral, she was supposed to be mourning her sister-in-law's death. She couldn't dare have a party! I've got to get my mind off of parties and only my enjoyment.
She turned and looked where Ashley stood. Poor Ashley! In a matter of days, he had turned into an old man. His shoulders sagged pathetically and he was openly weeping. India Wilkes and Aunt Pitty were both bawling and trying to comfort Ashley at the same time. Suddenly, Ashley sank to his knees and pitifully called for his wife.
"Melly! I can't go on without you! Melly! Melly!" On and on he screamed the name. He fell into the mud, still yelling for her. Scarlett shut her eyes tightly. She tried to shut out the screams but it was no use. They gnawed at her insides until she couldn't stand it. Why wouldn't anyone go to him, slap him square in the face, make him stop! Opening her eyes, she realized the service was going on as if nothing had happened, as if a grown man was not writhing on the ground like a child. What was wrong with these people! Scarlett resigned herself to the fact that she would always be the one to take care of problems. She began to make her way over to Ashley when she was stopped by a hand on her shoulder.
"I wouldn't do that if you still want to have any fragment of a reputation left," a voice jibed in her ear. She knew that voice! Turning ever so slightly, she was met with dark eyes set in a swarthy pirate face.
"Rhett!"She whispered the name ever so slightly and hearing it again made her heart swell. He had come back! Now, now she could lay down her load and cry upon his broad shoulders. She turned to him and fell into his strong, muscled arms. Finally, she began to cry. Rhett pat her softly on the back and held her tightly. Oh, now everything would turn out right! She had Rhett back and now she would show him how much she loved him. They would leave Atlanta, go traveling across the world and she would have a baby. Oh, a baby! A bright-eyed girl like Bonnie or a devilish son, just like Rhett. She would make him so happy! Her mind continued on in this happy wonderland.
All too suddenly, Rhett released her and she realized the gathering was going inside of Aunt Pitty's house for refreshments. Scarlett clamped onto Rhett's arm and leaned against. Her heart sang when she realized he did not pull away. He loved her!
The rest of the funeral was a complete blur. All she knew was that she would never be sad or lonely again. She had Rhett back!
Finally, Rhett walked her to the carriage and helped her inside the took his seat across from her. Immediately, she began to babble to him about everything.
"Oh Rhett! I knew you would come back! I knew you must have read in my eyes that I truly did love you! Rhett, we'll be so happy together! I just know it! We can sell the house her on Peachtree and go sailing across the world! And I can give you -"
She was cut short by icy words. "My dear, I did not come back to fall in love with you again. I tried that once and I got a rather poor payment in return. I came here to say farewell to a very great lady and to see what you would do to get yourself in trouble. If I had not been there you would have made a dreadful mistake. I could just see in your eyes you wanted to stride over and slap that poor man out of his mourning process. And while that may have been one of the best things for him, it would have been horrible for your already minuscule reputation. I do not care what you do with the monstrosity on Peachtree and you can go sailing all the way to China for all I care. As for what you could give me, well, I don't think there is much I don't already have. Well, I don't have you but, that was by choice."
Scarlett's heart plummeted to the bottom of her chest. He was making fun of her, spitting on her declaration of love for a second time. Why had she been so stupid to think he had actually come back for her? She had made a fool of herself like she so often did when he was around. She was not sure whether she wanted to slap him or kill herself. She was at a complete loss for words and just sat there, staring at the floor.
Rhett called to the coachman and he stopped at the depot. Rhett picked up his hat, and patted Scarlett's hand.
"Cheer up, maybe you will finally get that man of your dreams."
How dare he bring up Ashley at a time like this! Her eyes flamed wildly and she looked up finally, to see that jeering smile Rhett always flashed to irritate her. She wanted to hurt him, wound him deeply.
"Rhett Butler, I never want to see you again as long as I live."
" Likewise, my dear." He turned away and walked carelessly to his train. Scarlett's eyes welled up with tears as she watched him leave her for the second time.