Well now, here is my first fanfic and first work of fiction since I was about 7 or 8 years old.

although this is a self-insertion fic (bear with me here) it is an idea I just HAD to get down.

Flames will have absolutely no effect on my current form as a small icky whitish blob, so

feel free to send any to me at MrAndri@Hotmail.com. Also, feel free to review as you wish.

(Author´s note: There are three changes to my character which people should be aware of. First, my eyes are green for reasons that will become obvious later on.(they are really blue, btw.) The second is that I have long hair for no apparent reason whatsoever, and the third will soon become obvious. This is an alternate version of me where I am still (Mostly) human. anyway, enough from me, on with the tale.)



Slightly Disturbing productions present

A ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction By WhiteIckyThing

Dead and Livin´it up



Disclaimer: If you think that I own any of these characters then you are more out of your mind than I am, which is practically impossible. I am simply not that original. Just ask Viz Video or the great Takahashi Rumiko. And no, I don´t own death either. just read my ramblings, and PLEASE don´t sue me.

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A young man walked down a street full of potholes and surrounded by trees and, for some reason, a lot of ravens. The man looked up at them, wondering if it is an ill omen for the coming day. Although it was morning, the sun had not yet risen and the air felt colder than the heart of hell.

The man is quite obviously a very strange person. He would seem normal enough, with long, dark hair framing a pretty normal-looking face and green eyes peering thoughtfully skywards, hoping against hope that the bloody sun will rise soon. He wears mostly normal clothing, Baggy light brown pants and a dark sweater that is partially covered by a large overcoat. Although it is cold enough to make the most heartless man keel over, It does not seem to concern him overmuch, since he makes no attempt to cover himself. The strangeness, however, is seen by the fact that he is wearing what appears to be a large cat on his head and is holding a large feather duster in one hand with the other hand in his pocket. This is a person to be avoided, and therefore was rather popular among children.

He adjusted the schoolbag on his back and mutters something about cold, ravens and the lack of a driver´s license as he continued down the street, unaware of the fact that one of the ravens seemed to be observing him rather intently, as if he were an eyeball ripe for plucking. Ravens are known as legendary creatures, and many srories exist about them. Ravens are said, among other things, to be able to sense the future in some way, knowing when people are to die. And right now it seemed as if the eyeball it was waiting for was just about ready.

Suddenly The young man´s head snapped up in attention, his eyes staring straight forward in shock. Then he screamed.

"MY NAME IS ANDRI ERLINGSSON!"

He then sagged down, glad that he finally remembered his identity. His memories were more of a mess these days than usual, and it normally took about half an hour to get going in the morning.He remembered that he was seventeen, Male, Weird and on his way to school. His feet had up until then been working on automatic, Being as they were quite indipendent from the rest of his body since the rebellion of ´91. Whith that done, he continued on his way, still remembering details about himself.

He knew he was Icelandic, and that was enough to nearly drive him to suicide. That country was crazy. In the middle of winter the sun rose for an average of four hours per day, making it nearly intolerable to be around at that time, making it quite a messed up place indeed. His dad was currently in hospital due to an extremely high blood pressure, and the young man gnashed his teeth in frustration. here he was, walking to school, while his father (who happened to be one of his teachers-NOT a good thing) was probably being ministered to by the hands of fine young maidens, allowed to sleep all day and not here to accompany his son to school. He thought to himself that he might be tempted to eat a lot of sugar and salt and check himself in, and then pondered that somewhere, in another universe, he already WAS in hospital and was living it up, so he should quit whining. with that bit of thinking done, he quickened his pace, glad that the nurses were taking such good care of him.

It did not cross his mind once that there might be a flaw in this logic.

Unfortunately, neither did the fact that a car seemed to sverve out of control in front of him and head straight for him.

A loud *THUMP* was heard and Andri was out of action. His legs continued to make walking motions for a second and then stopped with a final jerk upwards. His eyes were closing, and what was left of his mind noted that he was losing quite a lot of blood. his mouth opened slightly, and his last words were heard for the ravens, trees, the rather shocked driver and any spirits and small gods that might be around.

"Now THAT... almost hurt."

His pain tolerance was quite high, mostly due to the fact that his mind was rather tattered due to constant use.

He got up, and looked down at his mangled and slightly bloody body with some curiosity. He then noticed the feather duster, and cursed the fate that had caused an innocent tool to break. A raven landed next to the body, unheeding of the driver´s attempts to shoo it away. Andri looked at it with some small amount of irritation. He then heard footsteps behind him, and turned around, and for once his entire mind focused on the person before him.

She was averagely tall, with completely black hair and almost completely white skin, much as himself. She had a small tatto of a hook underneath her left eye and wore completely black and rather goth-like clothing, skin tight and reminiscent of Brandon Lee´s attire in the crow, and wore a large silver Ankh around her neck. She was undoubtedly the most beautiful woman he had ever seen, but it was her eyes that made him fall in love with her forever. Full of wisdom and hidden knowledge, dark with mystery and yet happy, looking at the world as if through rose-tinted glasses. And he knew her.

"Ah. so I´m dead," he said, absolutely calm.

"Yes," came the reply, melodious and full of the joy of life.

"And you are Death of the endless."

"Yes again. you are pretty perceptive."

"Probably because I´m dead. I´ve never felt this... clear-headed before."

"The body isn´t in the way any more."

He pondered this for a few seconds, and then looked back at her, ignoring the sirens which were now echoing around the street.

"Seventeen years, huh? Not a lot, though it could have been less."

"You got what everyone else gets. you got a lifetime."

"That´s easy for you to say."

She laughed for a moment, eyes twinkling in amusement.

"Yes it is," She said, looking at the young man before her.

He looked down on himself, and frowned. Then his clothes suddenly changed from his casual wear into a modest, and yet comfortable brown robe.He nodded in satisfaction, and looked at Death as he spoke again.

"So, what happens now?"

"That," she said, "is for you to find out."

With those words, they walked off, Leaving behind a rather smug and moderately fed raven, and disappeared. An observer, other than that raven, would have sworn that they had heard the sound of wings flapping in the distance.

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Three months passed without incident. Winter let go of the land and spring came back as it always does with full force, awakening the world from it´s slumber.

Somewhere, close to the Bayankala mountain range in the Qhuinghai province of the People´s Republic Of China, two men were seen, running along a dirt road, occasionally throwing small punches at each other, only to be blocked.

The older of the two looked middle-aged, wore a faded white martial arts Gi, and was of obvious japanese descent. He was fat, bordering on obese, wore a pair of glasses on his face and a white handerchief on his head, trying to cover up his baldness and not having any success whatsoever.

The other man wasn´t really a man yet, more of a teenager, and also looked japanese. He also wore a Gi, just as faded as that of the other man, but unlike his father seemed to have no physical problem whatsoever. He was well built, and looked quick on his feet. He had black hair tied up, of all things, in a pigtail. his eyes were wider than that of the older man and were a startling sky blue color. He wore a small cocky grin on his face, which did nothing to spoil his features.He spoke up, and seemed to have no breathing problem whatsoever.

"You´re getting slow, old man. You can hardly keep up with me!"

The older man replied, only slightly out of breath, which was quite amazing, considering his rather wide bulk.

"I´m fast enough to beat you, boy. I still have a lot to teach you yet."

The young man replied by suddenly sweeping his leg at the older man, which the older man evaded. Unfortunately, his opponent had been waiting for this exact thing, and with a dizzying display of speed he got hold of the older man´s sleeve and threw him over his head with ease.

"Yeah, right pop. you couldn´t beat me in a thousand years."

The boy´s father got up, and yelled at the young man.

"RANMA! how DARE you speak to your father like that? you should show more respect for your elders! I´m going to have to teach you a lesson!"

The older man took a stance opposite his son, who also showed his readiness to fight. He then spoke again to Ranma, his eyes narrowing like those of a lizard.

"When we get to Jusenkyo, boy, you´ll learn to respect my skill as your Sensei! That training ground will at last turn you into a true martial artist."

Ranma was about to reply when something appeared on the road ahead of them. It was a person, dressed in a robe, and seemed to be oblivious to it´s surroundings. The two men were shocked, mostly because neither of them had heard him coming, but also because he seemed to be slightly transparent.

The figure looked up, and seemed to notice the two fighters for the first time. it reached up and removed the cowl covering its face and was revealed to be a young Gaijin fellow.

Andri looked at the pair of martial artists, and took in the local sights. He had had an interesting three months. He had discovered a strange hunger soon after his death, and discovered that he couldn´t feel anything at all. He found that he could lessen the impact of both by collecting knowledge. His mind had become a magnet and he seemed to remember everything that happened to him, everything he saw and did and read. He had completed his study of french and german, and had learned competent japanese, spanish and esperanto as well. He had then turned his sights to history, and then to geography. He had learned how to cook different foodstuffs from various countries and had then decided that he wanted to learn mandarin chinese, and had promptly gone there.

He had, however, not experienced being seen by anyone during his studies. something was obviously wrong. Seeing the look of fear on the men´s faces, he decided to break the ice and turned to the younger man.

"umm... Hello There! I´m frightfully sorry about this, but you two are technically not supposed too see me, What with me being dead and all. Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Andri Erlingsson, freelance philosopher and weird by vocation, at your service."

He made a slight bow at his waist.

"And you are?"

Suddenly the older of the two crouched in front of him (wow! He´s fast!) and started prostrating himself on the ground before the apparition while speaking frantically.

"Please, O Vengeful Spirit(tm), do not harm me."

Having said this, he took hold of Ranma and thrust him in front of the ghost.

"I offer you my son, that I may live in peace."

At this, Ranma shouted in surprised anger.

"HEY! SHUT UP YOU STUPID OLD MAN!"

He then proceeded to pound his father to a pulp. A large sweatdrop took form on the ghost´s head, despite his current lack of bodily functions and fluids. Who were these guys?

After the dust had settled, he explained that he had no interest in taking their souls into purgatory and asked wether either of them knew chinese. Ranma, being in better shape, answered his question and left his father to his pain.

"Well, no we can´t. Oh! my name is Ranma Saotome of the Anything-Goes school of Martial Arts." (He didn´t want to be upstaged by some damn spirit!)

"Pleased to meet you. Anything Goes, you say? That sounds interesting, original and many other good words depicting excitement about the current subject. Maybe you could tell me about it?"

While Ranma attempted to decipher what the thing had just said, his father got up and pounded his sons´ head.

"Foolish boy! Do not speak of the secrets of our art to some vengeful apparition! It seeks to lull you into it´s confidence and then devour your soul when you least expect it!"

Ranma simply reached up and threw his father straight forward- right into and then through the strange gaijin ghost. The live ones paled a bit at this developement, but recovered when the ghost laughed loudly.

"If i wanted that you would probably be burning in the fires of hell right now. I can see you two were traveling somewhere. I was on my way to learn mandarin, but I might as well come with you for a while, that is, if it´s allright with you."

"Sure, I guess," came the answer. "We´re on our way to a place called Jusenkyou. Ya could come if you wanted to."

By now Genma had been cowed into submission and quickly agreed lest the spirit would send his soul to hell.

The travelled onwards, all training for the day suspended, and the two young men had ample opportunity to talk. Andri, or "Anderi" as the two living people pronounced it, quickly formed the opinion that Ranma was a brash young man, arrogant and slightly rude, but with a heart of gold underneath. Ranma, on the other hand, thought of his current companion as a VERY strange boy, who seemed to know a lot but was obviously too plain weird to have as more than an acquaintance.

"I´m gunna be the best martial artist in the world! I ain´t afraid of anyone or anything... well, almost anything... and no one can beat me!"

"I´m not much of a judge about things like that, but I can see that you are at least as skilled as your father."

"I´m much better than that baka oyaji ever was. He could never beat me!"

At this Genma promptly knocked Ranma on the head once more.

"Impetuous boy! you´re getting too cocky for your own good!"

He then appeared to dissolve into tears.

"Oh, what a cruel fate to be burdened with such an excuse for a boy as you, woe is me..."

Ranma ignored this completely and walked on, while Anderi looked at him with mingled curiosity and disgust before continuing.

Finally, they came upon a valley with signs showing the name of Jusenkyou in english and japanese.

"We´re here, boy! get ready for the hardest training of your life!"

"yea right, pop. you´re never gonna be able to keep up with me!"

Anderi looked at the sign and got a strange sense of foreboding. Whatever would happen here, it was sure to be interesting...

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More Rant: Should I continue this? should I use this as toilet paper? all opinions welcomed!

By the way, Death of the Endless is a creation of Neil Gaiman and property of DC vertigo.