SUMAMRY: Lord Voldemort hates unruly hair, oh yes, he does! "And like… Why do you think I hate Harry Potter so much?"
WARNING: prepare for total randomness and the most girlish Voldemort ever!
DISCLAIMER: Yes, I'm J.K. Rowling… not
-No domestic elves were harmed on the making of this fic and no offences you may see now are really meant, everything was for the sake of the fic. –
Now... you may read.
Unruly hair
I HATE, really do hate unruly hair, I mean, honestly, can't you just brush it up? And like… Why do you think I hate Harry Potter so much? Because he's the only one who can defeat men?! eeeh… NO! Try again, and this time, try not to mind what that drama queen of Dumbledore says, he just wants to fool everybody because his boyfriend killed his sister! (Boo-Boo!) And now he wants to make everybody's life a freaking novel. Like I could be evil, he's worthless man I tell you.
Oh, but don't you mind me, I'm not as heartless as people make me seem, especially not as heartless as those Potter-freaks make me seem. I mean like… I spent like… what? A whole month coming up with such a cool name and for once I wanted to do something good for humanity Dumbledore just had to fill their mind with so much bullshit and make them believe I wanted to kill them or something like that!
So when I got there (and believe it wasn't an easy task) to brush up the baby's bloody hair, who I've heard had the same ugly and totally unruly hair as the father, his parents made up like this… drama and I was like… "WTF?" I mean, I was going to forgive them and all. You know, I wasn't planning on killing them but that James-I'm-hot-Potter wouldn't let me brush that awful hair of his so I had to kill him. And Lily Evans? Well, she was the one muggle-born I actually liked, because, you know, she's so much fun and SO nice and intelligent too! And her hair? Puuh-lease! Had you seen how silky it was?! It was so gorgeous! I just had to forgive her but NOOO! She wouldn't move out of the way so I killed her too.
And then I saw it. Really people, when I say the kid I was like "Oh myself!"(Really, God? Love him, but I'm way cooler) the thing is, the kid's hair was like, ten thousand worse than the father's. I couldn't bare it! And I had already killed two out of three, so I killed him too. But the bastard… with that puffy and completely unruly hair, he just couldn't be normal, now could he? NOOO, he just had to be superhuman! Really, just my luck.
Thanks myself I had my beloved Horrocruxes. Because this, this he would pay… ooh yeah, and it wouldn't be cheap, Oh no, I'd make sure of that. I'll take my revenge Potter, Someday, I'll conquer you hair, and when I do you're going to be so, so, SOO sorry it ever were unruly that you'll come begging me for advices and Shampoos to keep it brushed!!
Wahahaha!
Like it? Hate it? Don't care? Please, do tell me, anything, just review and tell me how you like it, please.
Since English is not my mother language any corrections are accepted! ^_^
Kisses and Hugs!
Gii3