Here's one more parody.
This one is 'The DVD'
You know, at first I was planning on this featuring little Lisanna and Elfman and punk Mira, but after a while I realized that this would work better if I used little Gray and Lyon and Ur.
And I added the Gray/Juvia scene is just to lead into the story, so...yeah...
Enjoy!
It was a regular day in the Fairy Tail guild.
Gray Fullbuster was currently eating peacefully at a table, when he was suddenly approached by his devoted admirer, Juvia.
"Gray-Sama! Juvia wanted to know if you wanted to go to that new Laser Video place that just opened a week ago with Juvia." Juvia asked bashfully.
"Laser Video?! I can't go down there! What if they remember me?" Gray said.
"Remember Gray-Sama?" Juvia asked.
"It's a long story..." Gray said.
"Juvia wouldn't mind. Juvia would love to hear a story from Gray-Sama." Juvia said.
"Okay, then. It was eight years ago, back when I was still learning with Lyon under Ur." Gray started.
Eleven-year-old Gray was sitting on the couch watching TV lazily.
His master, Ur, then walked past the couch and to the front door.
"Gray, don't forget to take that DVD back today or we'll get a fine." She said.
"Pfft, can't you do it? You're the one with the 4-Wheeler." Gray replied.
"I'm not the one who watched "Alligators on a Train" eighty times." Ur said.
"But, technically, you rented it with your money." Gray said, smirking.
"The money I have to go and earn to feed you ungrateful pupils." Ur said, looking irritated.
"The ungrateful pupils you decided to take in." Gray said.
Ur then growled as she punched a hole in the wall with enough force to blast off all the drywall in the area.
"Okay! I'll take it back! No problem." Gray said nervously.
"Great. And make sure to put your clothes back on while you're at it. Later." Ur said before walking out.
Gray then glanced down and saw that he was in his underwear.
He then sighed and walked into the kitchen, where his fellow disciple, Lyon was cutting pizza.
"Hey, Lyon, have you seen that DVD anywhere? I need to-LYON! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" Gray shouted.
"I'm getting some pizza. Duh." Eleven-year-old Lyon said as he cut himself a slice...
...using the DVD.
"That's not the pizza cutter! That's the DVD! Give me that!" Gray shouted, taking the now cheesy DVD from Lyon.
"Aw man. You really have to be careful with these things, you know." Gray said. He then grabbed a scrubby sponge from the sink and began wiping the DVD clean.
"The slightest scratch and they're ruined forever." Gray continued.
"Uh, Gray..." Lyon said.
"Up up up! I am sick of your carelessness. This disk utilizes laser technology. You have to treat it with respect." Gray interrupted.
"You're using the wrong side of the scrubby sponge." Lyon said.
Gray then looked down and saw that he was indeed using the scouring side of the sponge to wipe the DVD, which was now covered in scratches.
He let out a scream and involuntarily tossed the DVD up. It landed on the sink and rolled around for a bit before falling down the drain, and was destroyed by the garbage disposal.
"NO! What are we gonna do?!" Gray cried as the DVD's remains flew out and rained down on them.
"Face the consequences of our actions and tell Ur?" Lyon asked.
Gray then recovered.
"Don't be silly. I've got a better idea." He said.
The two stood in front of the Laser Video rental store. Gray was putting in a disk made out of ice into the DVD case.
"There. The beauty of Molding magic. They'll never know the difference." Gray said.
"You sure? Looks pretty obvious to me." Lyon said.
"Eh, you can say that, but I lost my pants a week ago, and no one's noticed." Gray said, popping the DVD down the dropbox.
He then walked away very stiffly and awkwardly wearing trousers made out of ice.
"Everyone's noticed that walk though." Lyon said.
"Really?"
"You look like you went to the bathroom in a spacesuit."
Gray was once again flipping channels on the TV, when Lyon suddenly ran up to him with a worried expression, holding an envelope.
"Dude, its a letter from Laser Video!" Lyon said.
"Eh. So what? Just put it with all the others." Gray said uninterestedly, gesturing to the pile of letters hidden under the couch.
"No! This one's red. It means urgent!" Lyon said.
"Red writing or red envelope?" Gray asked. Lyon glanced back at the envelope in his hands.
"Red writing on red envelope. It's really hard to read actually." He replied. He then opened it and read the letter, which was also red. He gasped.
"It says we have to pay 25 jewels for the DVD!" he said.
"Ah! What are we gonna do?" Gray asked.
"Face the consequences of our actions and tell Ur?" Lyon asked.
"No no no no no. Just give me a little time to think." Gray said.
Gray and Lyon were sitting outside a convenience store begging, accepting change in a fedora made out of ice.
"It took you two days to think of this?" Lyon asked.
"Shut up! How much have we got anyway?" Gray replied.
"Like...three jewels?" Lyon said, rifling through the change.
"Great! Twenty-two more and we can pay for the DVD. Now pinch me. We'll get more if it looks like we're crying." Gray said. Lyon complied and pinched Gray, causing him to tear up. Meanwhile, a hobo who was also begging next to them stared at the two.
"The reason you kids are on the streets begging is to pay a DVD fine?" the hobo asked.
"Yeah, crazy, right? People just don't understand how hard our lives are." Gray said.
The hobo said nothing, but simply reached down and switched the hats.
"Hey?" Gray said.
He then reached for his ice hat, only for the hobo to growl at him.
He reached again, only for the hobo to growl again.
Lyon then began to beatbox.
Gray then moving his hand back and forth seemingly erratically, causing the hobo's growls to create a rhythm that, combined with Lyon's beats, created an impressive melody.
An old man passing by then dropped a Jewel into the ice hat.
"Yay!" the two Ice-Makers shouted, only for the hobo to grab all the money and walk into the store behind them.
"Hey! That guy stole our money!" Lyon said. Gray only sighed.
"Well, Lyon, sometimes in life you have to realize that there are less fortunate people then ourselves. He needs that money more that we do." Gray said.
"WOOHOO!" the hobo's cries could be heard from inside the store. He then ran out with a grin on his face.
"I WON! I spent your money on a scratch card and now I'm a millionaire!" The hobo cried.
"That's great! So, can we have our four Jewels back?" Gray asked.
"Oh...uh...sorry, boys. I don't have any change." The hobo said.
He then walked away, with the sound of change jingling in his coat.
Gray sighed.
Back at the house, Lyon was currently checking the answering machine.
"You have 8 new messages."
"Hi, Laser Video here..."
Lyon skipped the message.
"Hello, its Laser Video..."
Lyon skipped the message.
"You need to bring back..."
Lyon skipped the message.
"You need..."
Skip.
"...To bring..."
Skip.
"...The film..."
Skip.
"...Back to the store..."
Skip.
"Haha, I knew you were trying to skip my messages."
"Gray, I think we need to get a job." Lyon said.
Gray looked through the newspaper.
"Hmm...can you cook?" Gray asked.
"No." Lyon replied.
"Can you drive?" Gray asked.
"No." Lyon answered.
"Can you speak Chinese?"
"Wǒ kěyǐ dú, dàn wǒ bùnéng shuō chūlái." (Translation: No.)
"Can you provide inspirational leadership to a court team of 30 people covering both national and international markets?" Gray asked. Lyon thought about that one for a minute.
"Hmm...no." he answered.
"Wait, what about this one? 'Looking for a person with no skills or training to serve as a scientific subject for the cosmetics industry'." Gray asked, pointing to a certain listing.
"What does that mean?" Lyon asked.
"It means they'll put make-up on us and see if it looks nice." Gray explained. Lyon gasped.
"Kind of like modeling?" Lyon asked, looking excited for some strange reason.
"Yeah."
"I always thought I'd make a good model." Lyon said smugly.
"What makes you think that?" Gray asked.
"High cheekbones." Lyon said.
"There are bones in there?" Gray asked.
He then gently pushed his hand into Lyon's cheek. It went in a whole wrist-deep before hitting bone.
"Oh, ha...there are." Gray said.
The two boys stood in the cosmetics building answering questions for the worker.
"Are you boys 18?" the woman asked, even though the two were obviously not.
"Uh...does it count that I've been both 8 and 10?" Gray asked. The woman sighed.
"I suppose...Now step into the make-up booth." she said.
The two boys stepped into the booth wearing red ponchos over their clothes.
"Please relax. Look at the red dot, and pout." said the machine.
The two did as it said.
The machine then began blasting make-up right onto their faces. For Lyon, it went on neatly, but for Gray, it was too much, and he screamed as he fell to the floor.
When it was over, Lyon stepped out of the booth and looked in the mirror.
"Hey, that's not bad. Lookin' good." He said, admiring his make-up covered face.
He then turned and screamed when he saw Gray.
Gray's face was badly swollen, with make-up chaotically spread all over. His drooling tongue hung limply, pressed between his swollen cheeks.
"What happened to you?!" Lyon asked.
"I think I'm allergic." Gray answered. He then sucked up his drool.
"How come you look so good?" He asked, before sucking up his drool again.
"I don't know. Maybe it has something to do with my perfect skin." Lyon said, taking a moment to flaunt his apparent attractiveness. Remember, he is currently wearing lady's make-up
"I think I'm gonna wipe this off." Gray said.
He then grabbed a wet wipe and rubbed off some of the make-up, causing it to smear even more.
He also somehow speared his own face, causing his eye to point to the ground.
"What happened?" he asked, "Why am I looking at the floor?"
The woman from earlier then came back.
"Okay, boys, how did the test go-" she then shrieked when she saw Gray's horribly disfigured face.
"I can't believe she only gave us five Jewels. It costs more than that to get home on the train." Gray said as they walked to the front door.
He tried to open the door, only to find it jammed. He eventually forced it open and found that it was being blocked by a large pile of letters.
"Oh man, more letters from Laser Video! Oh, we're in so much trouble! We gotta hide these before Ur gets home!" Gray said, worriedly.
The phone then suddenly rang, and Gray picked it up.
"Hello?" Gray answered.
It was Ur.
"Are you two in trouble? Because my sensei instincts are tingling. I can smell trouble." She asked, almost deadpan.
"Trouble?" Gray asked, chuckling nervously, "No, we're fine. Absolutely no trouble here, bye." he said quickly.
"Are you lying?" Ur asked, deadpan again. Gray laughed nervously some more.
"No, of course not." He said.
"Right, you're lying. I'm coming home now." Ur said, still deadpan before hanging up.
Gray's eyes were wide as he put down the phone.
"Ur's on her way home. Now." He said.
"What should we do? Should we tell the truth and face the consequences of our actions?!" Lyon asked.
"What is it with you and trying to be honest all the time?!" Gray snapped.
"No, we need to copy Alligators on a Train. I know, I'm gonna download it." He said. Lyon gasped.
"GRAY! You wouldn't steal a 4-Wheeler! You wouldn't steal a woman's purse! You wouldn't steal a cell phone! PIRACY IS STEALING!" Lyon shouted.
"I know...I'm...I'm so sorry." Gray said, looking down in shame.
"Besides, I have a better idea." Lyon said, smirking.
"Is it stupid, desperate, and very unlikely to get us out of this mess?" Gray asked very quickly.
"Yes." Lyon answered just as quick.
"Is it humiliating?"
"If we get it wrong."
"Are we likely to get it wrong?"
"Possibly.
"In the time its taking me to ask these questions, could you have just told me what it is?"
"Technically.
"Can we get on with it then?"
"Yeah, we better."
Ur's 4-Wheeler pulled up in front of the house.
She had a scowl as she walked past her mailbox, only to suddenly stop.
She then crouched down and began sniffing the air, like a bloodhound picking up a scent. Her trail led her back to her mailbox. When she opened, several letters poured out at her feet. When she picked one up and read it, her face became filled with rage.
"I knew it...You two are in so much TROUBLE!" she shouted.
Gray and Lyon then went stiff as they were putting a DVD into the case.
"We need to get the Laser Video before Ur kicks our butts." Gray said.
The two then ran out the back door and towards the fence. Ur then burst through the door.
"What did you do this time?!" she shouted. The two gasped in fright.
"Stop! Right! There!" Ur shouted as she ran toward them.
"Quick!" Gray said as the two climbed over the wooden fence.
"WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING!?" Ur shouted as she easily jumped over the fence.
"DON'T YOU DARE RUN AWAY FROM ME!" she bellowed as she chased them.
As the two ran through someone's yard, they knocked over an umbrella, a barbeque pit, a table, and a lawn recliner.
As Ur ran past them, she vaulted off the umbrella, leaped off it, grinded against the table edge using the grill from the pit as a skateboard, flipped through the air, slid down the chair, and landed perfectly on her feet.
"Whoa." the boys muttered at their master's acrobatics.
They jumped another fence into a backyard with a pool.
They jumped on a man lying on an inflatable raft and rode him to the edge before jumping the fence again, with Ur following by jumping on the head of the man's wife floating in the pool.
As the boys jumped, they landed on a trampoline, cushioning their fall.
Ur then jumped over the fence and pounced on them, roaring like tiger.
The boys screamed and bounced of the trampoline, pulling it away with them, causing Ur to faceplant into the ground.
The boys stopped and glanced at their master.
"Ur, are you okay?" Gray asked.
"Mmh hmm hm mm mm mmhmmh." Ur said, her voice muffled.
"What was that?" Gray asked, feeling hopeful.
"YOU'RE IN SO MUCH TROUBLE!" Ur shouted, looking up.
The boys screamed, then resumed running.
They jumped another fence, only to come face to face with an large, angry dog being held back by a leash. They carefully edged around the fence, watching the dog carefully as it barked viciously at them. Gray then noticed that the stake in the ground that held the dog's leash was coming loose.
"Quick!" He said as they snuck out through a hole in the fence.
Ur then jumped over the fence, stealing the dogs attention right at the leash came loose.
The boys froze when they heard Ur scream.
"Gray, we have to help her." Lyon said.
"I don't know. Maybe she'll be fine." Gray said, chuckling nervously.
"GRAY FULLBUSTER! There is a ferocious creature attacking our teacher. We have to face the consequences of our actions and help her out!" Lyon argued.
"Yes, I'm...I'm sorry. You're right." Gray said apologetically, right at the sound of barking stopped. He looked up.
"Wait. Why did it go quiet?" he asked.
They stared at the fence anxiously for a moment.
Ur then suddenly broke through the fence, riding the dog.
Gray and Lyon screamed before running for their lives again, jumping fence from fence, while Ur and the dog just burst through the fences.
"STOP RIGHT NOW!" Ur shouted.
Gray and Lyon then stopped and separated, but Ur didn't stop, even as she passed them. She kept crashing through fences until eventually they ran into a brick wall, knocking out both Ur and the dog.
The two stared at her for a moment, then each other before running off.
The two ran inside the Laser Video store, exhausted from their chase.
"Stop the letters! Stop the letters!" Gray panted.
The clerk looked up from his newspaper.
"Ah, you boys. It's about time you showed up. I assume you have my money?" He said, smirking.
"Better than that, Terry," Gray said, reading off the man's name tag, "We got the DVD."
He handed Terry the case.
"I hope you don't mind if I make sure it's real. Last time, it was a piece of ice." Terry said.
"Go for it." Gray said.
He and Lyon winked at each other as Terry loaded the DVD into a DVD player sitting on the edge of the counter.
The screen showed what was an obviously homemade version of the movie.
"Dada dada! Alligators on a Train!" Gray said as he held up a sign made out of ice with the movie title written on it in marker.
"Oh no! There are alligators on this train!" said Lyon, wearing a snow and ice mustache. He pointed to the alligator in the background (which was a large sheet of ice with a train background drawn on it).
Because of Lyon's Dynamic Ice Make magic, the alligator actually moved, and could've been mistaken as an actual alligator.
Hadn't it not been obvious it was made out of ice.
Lyon then began to pretend to beat up the alligator, then lifted it up and threw it aside.
"Thank goodness we got all the alligators off this train." He said, wiping his brow.
The ice alligator, not knowing any better, walked right past Lyon as he said this.
The scene then changed to a sunset background.
Gray and Lyon stood with their backs to the camera, with their arms around themselves, trying making it seem like they each had someone hugging them.
"Thank you for saving us from all the alligators on the train." said Gray, faking a feminine voice.
The two then began making kissy noises, trying to make it seem like however was hugging them was now also kissing them.
The scene then changed to a list of credits, again written in marker on a sheet of ice, as Gray and Lyon sang "Alligators on a Train!" over and over again.
Every name in the credits was either "Gray Fullbuster", "Lyon Vastia", or "Ice".
The 'movie' then ended.
Terry stared at the boys with an unimpressed look.
"This had better be a joke." He said, deadpan.
"Aw man! What gave it away?" Gray asked.
"Dude, it's ten seconds long and every name in the credits is one of you two." Terry explained.
"I told you we should've put some other people in the credits." Lyon whispered.
"What, and let them have all the glory?" Gray whispered.
"Well, there's no way I can accept this. You need to give me the real DVD, now!" Terry said.
Gray and Lyon then collapsed on their knees and began to cry.
"We can't! We used it to cut our pizza! And then we scratched it with the wrong side of the scrubby sponge! And then we threw it in the waste disposal! Please don't tell Ur!" they sobbed.
"I already know." said Ur, suddenly right behind the boys and looking perfectly fine.
The two screamed and began clutching each other for dear life.
"How much is the DVD, Terry?" Ur asked calmly.
"Twenty-five Jewels." Terry answered.
"What? You made me leave my job and chase you through the neighborhood on a dog for just twenty-five Jewels?" Ur asked.
"But...we were scared to tell you." Gray said as he and Lyon looked down.
"Aw, silly. There's nothing you can do that will ever stop me from caring about you. Come here." Ur said, pulling them into a hug.
"Now let me pay for that." She said, pulling out her wallet.
"See, Lyon." Gray said as Ur paid, "you should always tell the truth and face the consequences of your actions."
Lyon then blinked at his own words being used against him.
He then punched Gray in the arm.
"OW!" Gray said.
"Come on. Let's go home, you little troublemakers." Ur said as she began to walk out.
"Just a minute!" Terry said, "There's also the late fee."
"Oh, yes, of course. How much it that please?" Ur asked.
"Let me see..." Terry said, checking the computer.
"Three months and three days late...that will be seven-hundred Jewels." He said.
Ur blinked, her eyes wide.
Twenty-five Jewels she could spare, but she certainly didn't have seven-hundred.
She then chuckled.
"You see, boys. Sometimes in life you really have to face the consequences of you actions. And sometimes you just-RUN!" she shouted.
She then picked up her two pupils and bolted out the store, with Terry calling after her.
"We never went back to that store. They kept sending more and more letters, but we just used them as firewood. Eventually we moved away just so we wouldn't have to deal with it anymore. I probably owe, like, eighty million by now." Gray finished.
Juvia stared at her beloved, completely absorbed by the story.
"What did Gray-Sama do with the fake movie he and Lyon-San made?" Juvia asked.
"We never got it back, so don't think you can get your hands on it so you can add it to your 'Gray-Sama Collection'!" Gray said.
"Who told Gray-Sama about Juvia's 'Gray-Sama Collection!?" Juvia asked, looking panicked.
-The End-
I doubt I'm gonna make another parody, but if I do, its won't be soon.
I just started working on a serious story now...so be on the lookout for that.
-Johanna