Offical Report:

She'd Want You Safe

" All fleets! The Crucible is armed. Disengage and head to the rendezvous point."

Joker ignored Hackett's orders through the cockpit's speakers and continued to furiously move his fingers over the control screens of the Normandy. To anyone it all looked like a blur of creamy white fingers and flashes of florescent orange charts and text. But they weren't him. They didn't have his skilled eyes. Eyes that were not only used for watching terribly skitted, acted, and cheap porn, but eyes that were also trained to catch the signs of a enemy's ship's movements the exact moment they were executed. These eyes were also trained to monitor weapon lock-on systems, weather variation reports, incoming meteor shower warnings, damage warning holograms, and more. More important than anyone of those though, was a screen he had permanently cemented in the upper right hand corner of his reach: Shepard's suit readings.

Which were offline.

" I repeat: Disengage and get the hell out of there!" Hackett ordered once more.

The informal brunette ignored the order once more. He would not leave her there alone. Dead or alive he was coming to get her; even if it meant he had to crash the Normandy into the Citadel, limp out, and drag her onto the ship. Even at that, she better be alive. She said she would be fine in the last moments he saw her, so she damn well better be alive.

He would not let her die with words unspoken again.

He would not let their last moments together be so semi-formal; him hobbling out from his worn pilot's chair only to give her a sharp salute which she returned with slight surprise. 'Be careful down there.' He had urged her gently, settling for the cover up of what he really wanted to say: Come back to me. She'd returned with a curt nod and a 'We'll be fine. Stay focused.' Key thing: She never specified on what his focal points must be aimed at.

" Joker. Listen. We have to go."He felt Garrus' three fingered hand rest softly onto his shoulder then, trying to be comforting despite what he was asking.

" No! I will not abandon her!" The pilot snapped to the Turian, not daring to break his frantic gaze from the charts and such in front of him." Not again!" The Normandy immediately responded to his commands and made its way closer to the Citadel docks. The Turian's grip tightened slightly then on his shoulder," Joker…she wouldn't want this. She'd want you to follow or-"

" HOW DO YOU KNOW?" He roared back then suddenly, turning to look over his shoulder. He was seething in a mixture of emotions, he knew it, but he finally acknowledged how bad it was when he saw Traynor's concerned face. He noted how she and Garrus were easily picking apart his body language and voice, trying to take/ in what was happening to their usually emotionally guarded pilot: anger, disgust, determination, fear, disappointment, …..love." You don't know what she'd want/." Joker finally continued," You may be one of her best friends, you may have followed her into battle, but how do you know she'd want me to follow orders?"

" Because she'd want you safe." The turian replied without missing a beat, hitching Joker's tantrum. Head lowering, the man finally let his hands drift up to his face, elbows resting on his knees. He felt his chair spin slightly then and when he looked up with watering eyes the Turian was kneeling to his eye level." She'd want you and your old girl out of here." The turian placed his pointer finger on the ground to make sure the pilot knew which 'old girl' he was talking about." Because she loved you with her whole heart and soul. Why do you think she was so determined to get you off the first Normandy? That wasn't Commander Shepard who ran up there and threw your ass into an escape pod. That was not Commander Shepard, who in a final choice sacrificed her life to launch your escape pod. That is not Commander Shepard who we're leaving behind. It's Ryder Shepard. I know it hurts, but it's what she'd want. We have to go."

The brunette crumbled. Jeff didn't stop as Traynor reached over him and slid her hand across the Normandy's controls to steer them towards the Mass Relay. Jeff didn't complain when he felt the old girl jerk slightly as the relay powered them up to make the jump. He only turned back around to his console as the old girl finally shot off.

" We will come back to pick her up…." The pilot firmly announced then, his hands getting back to work to steer them smoothly to safety. Garrus stood back up then, his hand coming to rest on the back of the leather chair Joker fondly praised.

" And she's not my old girl….she's ours."

Author's Note: It was only a matter of time before I finally wrote this for my friend. Thank you darling for merrily chatting like chickens about Mass Effect with me while simultaneously acting out headcannon scenes of how Joker is Han Solo and our Fem. Shepard is a (very out of character) blonde Princess Leia. While in a crowded mall.

Edit 9/2/2012: This fic has been changed into a one-shot.