Hello again! I'm back with Nothing's Gonna Harm You in Mr. Sweeney Todd's POV! Hooray! I read some of the old reviews on my old lyric-songfic-esque (I've still got no proper name for these, suggestions?) and they gave me inspiration to write another one ASAP!
Disclaimer: I do not own Sweeney Todd or Nothing's Gonna Harm You. I would be making money with this silliness if I did.
Enjoy!
Nothing's gonna harm you, not while I'm around.
Sure, nothing's gonna harm her
Nothing's gonna harm you, no sir, not while I'm around.
Yes, a child could stop a murderous thirty or forty year old man who's been to prison, that's certainly a possibility.
Demons are prowling everywhere, nowadays,
Hmmm, I do enjoy my fair share of prowling.
I'll send 'em howling,
Howling with laughter! You would just look silly!
I don't care, I got ways.
That sounds like child prostitution…
No one's gonna hurt you,
But I will definitely hurt you.
No one's gonna dare.
I would. I'd kill you for a Klondike bar. In fact, I don't even need the Klondike bar!
Others can desert you,
Mmm, dessert…ice cream and chocolatey goodness…
Not to worry, whistle, I'll be there.
You can't whistle if you're dead!
Demons'll charm you with a smile, for a while,
For a while? I'm infinitely charming, Damn it!
But in time...
In time I get even more irresistible!
Nothing can harm you
You clearly don't understand how many house hold items I could kill her with…
Not while I'm around...
there're knives, rolling pins and cooking pans…
Not to worry, not to worry
And don't even get me started on poisons!
I may not be smart but I ain't dumb
You do realized that is a contradictory sentence…
I can do it, put me to it
Wow, and another allusion to underage prostitution rears its illegal head!
Show me something I can overcome
Overcome? After a hooker allusion? Too easy. I would need years to riff on that.
Not to worry, Mum
She is not your madre, comprende?
Being close and being clever
Boy, you are not clever.
Ain't like being true
Because truth gets you places in this world. *muttering about corrupt judicial systems*
I don't need to,
You know what I don't need? You.
I would never hide a thing from you,
Except your nighttime business, I bet that's still a secret…
Like some...
Hey, he's looking up! I think he means me!
No one's gonna hurt you, no one's gonna dare
I will hurt her. I will dare. What was that about not being dumb?
Others can desert you,
Desert her? Now she's involved in your naughty nighttime activities?! Why am I not getting a piece of that major coinage?
Not to worry, whistle, I'll be there!
Is that code? What are you, her pimp? Gonna save her from an angry customer when she whistles?
Demons'll charm you with a smile, for a while
Smiling for too long makes our demon faces twitch…
But in time...
They want a loyal customer discount.
Nothing can harm you
You've never said anything about killing. Looks like I'm in the clear!
Not while I'm around...
I'll just make sure not to whistle then, shall I?
Well what did you think? I'm a bit rusty but I believe this turned out better than I had hoped. Thanks so much for reading and please drop a review! I'd love your opinion or next song suggestion (Poor Thing possible?)
Oh and I DO NOT condone child prostitution or anything of the like. It just seemed like something ridiculous you could decipher from the lyrics. Just wanted to clear that up.
Love you all! :)