I refuse to believe I am the only person who wasn't worried about those goats!
Due to the Iron Bull's Ben-Hassrath training, Cullen didn't even try to guess what the poker face the Qunari was directing at him could mean. Thankfully, neither Blackwall or Dorian had gone through the same training, so it was obvious from their expressions that whatever they were planning would be best done with him on the other side of Skyhold. Which of course meant he was in exactly the right place.
He'd spotted the three almost accidentally. He'd just finished arranging the weapon supply for Movran the Under so he could be on his way to Tevinter with his men and any left over goats, and had seen them gathered close on the battlements, looking more suspicious than a Tevinter, a Qunari and Grey Warden had any right to be. Upon his approach, they had whipped round (Iron Bull more awkwardly shifting so his hands stayed behind him), and it was that which had made him pause more than anything.
"Commander, what can we do for you?" Blackwall greeted pleasantly, taking a quick glance over the edge.
"What are you three up to?" Cullen asked with a raised eyebrow. Without waiting for an answer, he went to the wall himself, only looking for a second before drawing back in horror. Dorian wore a weak smile, and Blackwall managed to look at least slightly apologetic. Iron Bull just smirked slightly, shifting so he was in a better position to hold the rope. "Tell me I didn't just see the Inquisitor at the end of that rope."
"I would, but I don't think she'd us want to lie to you." Dorian shrugged.
With a weak glare, Cullen went back to the wall, clearing his throat, "Inquisitor, what are you doing with that goat?"
Hands freezing mid-knot, Evelyn slowly looked up at them all, smiling cheekily, "I couldn't just leave her here to fall!"
"It is a nanny goat then?" Blackwall asked, cutting off Cullen's protest. At her feverish nod, he seemed to relax, "The kitchens will like that. Steady supply of milk and all that."
"One goat won't feed the entirety of Skyhold." Dorian pointed out.
"There'll be enough for the children."
"Softy." Iron Bull snorted.
All of them seemed to have completely forgotten he was there. Somehow knowing he wasn't going to get anywhere, Cullen settled for watching the Inquisitor finish tying the rope around the goat's belly, wrapping most around her fist before securing the front and back legs. The whole time, she kept up a steady stream of soothing words, holding tightly whenever her patient thrashed about too much.
They were on a piece of rock that could only be classed as a ledge if you were feeling very generous, held there only by the strength of a single Qunari. Cullen didn't doubt that she was in capable hands, but he was still acutely aware of his heart clambering its way to his throat, lodging there for a reason he couldn't quite explain. Evelyn had managed heights without a tether before, a fact he knew thanks to several of Varric's stories.
He did his best to ignore how most of those stories ended with Evelyn several metres below her companions, picking herself up with a laugh.
Eventually though, the goat stayed still for long enough that Evelyn was able to secure the bindings into some sort of harness, leaving she and the goat firmly tied to each other. "Ready!"
"Hold tight Boss!" Blackwall joined Iron Bull in the tugging, both of them working together while Dorian watched their progress, telling them to halt or continue as needed. It was a deceptively smooth journey, marked over by the protesting bleats whenever the goat hit the side of the wall, giving small struggles every now and then.
Eventually though, both Inquisitor and goat were soon safe on the battlements, Blackwall tending to the goat while Dorian helped Evelyn and Iron Bull untangle the makeshift harness. Smoothing her coat down once she was free, the Inquisitor seemed to remember him at last, turning with that smile of hers that did nothing to shift his heart from its new home.
Glancing between them, Iron Bull gave another snort. "Come on men, let's get Granny settled and leave the boss to make the excuses."
"Ah, the time honoured tradition of serving." Blackwall nodded, wrapping a loose knot around the goat's neck to act as a leash. Only Dorian seemed reluctant to leave, but eventually he left the promising looking entertainment, scurrying away when his clothes were threatened. The goat didn't mourn the loss, and bleated softly at Evelyn before allowing herself to be led away.
"I know." Evelyn said before Cullen could make the best of the quiet. "I only wanted to check to make sure we weren't still under attack, but then I saw her down there, and I know they're good climbers, but that's not much of a-"
"Inquisitor." Her lips clamped at his firm interruption, blushing at her rambling. "I'm not about to order you about. But what if you had slipped, and Bull hadn't been able to pull you up? We can't afford to lose you for a single goat." Cullen gave a rough swallow, and the lump in his throat finally budged. "I can't lose you."
From the way her head shot up, she was just as surprised as she was. They'd danced around each other at Haven, throwing flirtation into every conversation. It wasn't until they'd found her out in the snow that he was certain about how he felt, the same anxiousness and warmth that had laced his waking days in-
No. He wouldn't taint this moment with those memories. Cullen forced his mind to change the subject, and it easily latched onto the last time he had been alone on the battlements with Evelyn, his lips twitching into a smile without any prompting.
Without thinking about it, Cullen wrapped his arms around her, letting her head rest on his shoulder. At the end of the day, a needy party had been rescued, and nobody was hurt. "Please don't do that again." He whispered into her hair.
"Don't worry. There was only the one goat."
As if waiting for those exact words, something smacked into Skyhold's wall, a pathetic bleating following soon after.
"You idiots!" Cullen didn't dare look, easily picking out Movran's voice as the Avvar went across the main bridge, screaming at his men, "I told you to halt the attack until I came out!"
A few bellows met his words, Cullen tuning them out as Evelyn wriggled from his arms to run to the side, staring down at the ledge. She then turned to Cullen with a pleading look, eyes wide. Sighing, Cullen ran a hand down his face, utterly failing to wipe his grin, "I'll get Bull. You get the rope."
He'd long learnt that sometimes, it didn't pay to argue.