A/N: My good friend, Beth, requested that I make a Mai and Shizuru based story. For a long time, I considered how to do that…after a lot of thought, I finally have the first part done…here you go, Beth. The first installment to the Mai/Shizuru story you've been craving for me to do. I hope this pleases you.
So, without further delay, on with the fiction!
Lilies and Lilacs
Part one of three
She wasn't particularly unhappy...not at all.
In fact, she prided herself on the fact that she remained as optimistic as possible in the face of difficult news. Her life had been full of hardship, so learning to smile through the pain was something she simply had to learn to do. She didn't want to wallow in her own tears all of her life. The loss of her mother had been difficult, but the fact that she had to worry about her little brother kept her going.
It forced her to be strong…perhaps, in some ways, too strong. At least, that's what she'd been told. Time and time again, in many different ways, shapes, and forms.
"You need to rest sis…worry about yourself for a change." Her brother meant every word, and spoke them in the greatest concern. Even while he was ill in his own hospital bed, he refused to let his sister coddle him, and as siblings, they argued about that detail often. They always had, and probably always would. If it was only her brother telling her to take it easy, she probably would have never noticed that anything was wrong…but it wasn't just Takumi.
"We're really worried about you, Mai…maybe you should have a drink of water and sit down. I can man the grill for a while." Her coworkers saw her at her worst, even when she pretended to be at her best. Her false smiles didn't work on them anymore, in fact, if anything it bothered them. She hated the feeling of pity that fell on her form, because truly, she didn't want it…didn't need it…and refused to acknowledge it.
Maybe it was because she was used to it from everyone, but even then, those sideways glances were something she could push away. She could continue on, and do what she wanted to do. That's what she believed, she had to. Then, as if her current struggles weren't enough in her life, high school pressure was the next adversary.
"Tokiha, if your grades keep suffering, you may find that getting into university will be a nearly impossible task…" After she graduated high school, she never went to a university. Never took the tests, never had the time, and never allowed herself to feel bad about it. She had been working at the diner since she was merely a teen, and she intended to stay there. It was a choice she made because it was a comfortable one, but even that comfort wouldn't last forever.
Good things never did.
"You know, you can't keep this up forever…something's got to give, and when it finally does, you're going to be sorry." Even her friends reminded her of the fact that she felt so powerless, so tired…and, in some ways, so very lonely. They wanted her to depend on them just a little bit more, begged her to just ask them for something. They would do anything in their power to make it happen.
However, there was only one thing she really wanted, and that wasn't within their control.
She wanted a new heart for her brother, and a safe, successful operation, that would allow him to recover. Lacking the power to give him that, she had to wait…they all had to wait. Counting down the days, twiddling their fingers, and praying that her brother's health held out. Knowing that she was unable to expedite the process, she found herself restless.
She needed to do something…anything.
Just a hobby, she convinced herself after waiting around become too much. A little something to pass the time. A way to tick by the hours when work was over and the sun had yet to set. She wasn't the best at the arts, as they were not something she had been formally trained to do, but, it was soothing. If anything, her high octane life demanded that she take a breather every now and then.
Stress had a tendency to overwhelm her...tire her out. It was easy to sleep when dreams were blissfully blank. That's why she avoided it, because it wasn't real.
When she'd seen the advertisement for some classes in the newspaper, at first she was a little skeptical. Her fingers had thumbed through the pages slowly, considering each one. There was a cooking class, but that was full, and she was already very skilled at that. There was a knitting class as well, but that seemed to be more of a chore she took on when she needed to mend something…she didn't find any joy from it.
Kickboxing was too rough a sport, and chess was too dull. There were the local anime clubs, but they were filled with strange sorts. The kind of people she didn't want to interact with several times a week. There were also book clubs, but she wasn't an avid reader, and the yoga classes conflicted with her work hours. She enjoyed working, it kept her busy, and she stood over a hot griddle serving home style meals...she refused to give that up.
It left only two options open at her local community center. The painting course was expensive, as it required her to bring her own materials, and the list added up quickly. Lastly, there was the flower arranging course, which while not her first choice by far, was certainly not the least.
Even so if that was the case, she found herself perplexed by the mere idea of it.
"I still thing you'd enjoy kickboxing." Akira crossed her arms as she sat cross from the woman at the kitchen table. "You have the legs for it, no doubt."
"I can't risk injury." Mai said with a shake of her head. "Not only that, but Monday is my late night at the diner."
"Huh, good point." It was back to the drawing board until Akira bit her lip in thought. "You know Mai, if you really think kickboxing is too rough, I do hold a meditation class as well on Saturdays." Akira said conversationally when she noticed her carrot topped sister-in-law seemed to struggle with finding an activity she might enjoy.
"I think it would just put me to sleep." Mai admitted then with a little shrug.
"That's because you work too hard." Akira pointed out. "Why not take a day or two off?"
"It's been so hectic recently, and as much as I don't want to think about it, it won't let up any time soon." Mai closed the book with a sigh, rubbing her tired eyes. "I'd really like to do something relaxing, but meditation has a way of just making me even sleepier."
"At this point, I have half a mind to force you to take a nap." Akira frowned as she went to refill their cups of tea. "Why are you working yourself so hard anyway?"
"Because I want that diner, Akira." Mai said, lifting her eyes to the younger girl's. "Yamada's daughter doesn't want anything to do with running it. He says he'll give it to someone if we can prove we want it badly enough…owning that little place would be my dream." In fact, if Mai were honest, there wasn't anything else she really wanted more in her personal goal than to be a chef…except maybe a mother one day in the distant future.
"Wouldn't you want something new?" Akira asked. "That old hole in the wall isn't exactly keeping up with the times."
"It has everything it needs." Mai said, beginning to rattle off a list. "It's small and manageable, always full of locals, good food, well respected, and I've been working there since high school. What more do I really need? I know the regulars, and that makes things a little easier at least."
"Okay, okay." Akira muttered, wondering why most women she knew chose to be so complicated. "So, then why not choose the flower arranging class?" There was something to be said for being more boyish than girly. Guys just had an easier view of things, more straightforward, or at the very least, they tried to be. "It coincides with your schedule."
"Back to the flowers again…?" Mai asked slowly, unsure of the mere idea. "There's got to be something else."
"The reason I'm suggesting it is because you say you want something to help you relax." Akira wasn't particularly a fan of the art either, but it was relaxing, even if little else. "I kind of know the woman who teaches the class."
"I don't mind giving it a shot." Mai said then, lifting some water to her lips. "I just feel as if that's something rich people do. What if I'm out classed or something?"
"Well, the woman who leads the course is filthy rich." Akira admitted. "It's just that she's pretty active at the community center. I think her family might own it."
"How in the heck do you know a girl like that?" Mai asked then, just a little surprised.
"Mutual respect." Akira shrugged. "That, and she's into weapons training."
Mai shook her head in disbelief. "Sometimes, I really don't get what makes a person like you tick."
"I've been raised by the blades that have been held in my family for generations." Akira told her simply. "That kind of training is hard to explain, it isn't something most people could understand."
…
It was with reluctance that she agreed to go to the community center. It wasn't that she was put off by the idea, merely that she lacked confidence. It was her usual exuberance that quieted the nagging voice, taunting her in the back of her mind. She knew trying new things was an important part of everyday life, but for some reason, she felt as if this was an entirely different can of worms.
That somehow, by opening the door to the room she had been told to go to, that she was opening up a Pandora's Box of sorts. Why she felt that way, she didn't really know, but, she also attempted not to think deeply on it.
She had no idea just what she expected when she walked into the classroom in the late evening before the lecture was supposed to start. However, Mai was positive that the tables themselves were perhaps some of the strangest she'd ever seen. Glass bottles sat in the middle of each table, and around them were several types of dried petals, small vials of oil, and colorful marbles. There were also rows of freshly cut roses, and a few other flowers Mai wasn't positive she knew the names of.
No one else was in the room, but, judging from the time, she doubted anyone would show up. Well, it is the last class of the day. Mai reminded herself, feeling silly as she waited for a short time, finding it odd when there was still no one else entering the room. She sat down at the table nearest the front desk, two other vacant chairs alongside of her. The entire thing unsettled her. Maybe the teacher canceled class for the night?
Mai was about to get up and leave when finally another woman, one dressed in a fine purple kimono, entered the room. With measured grace she wordlessly closed the door behind her. The woman was slightly taller, but very beautiful, her features unlike anything Mai had ever seen before. The woman with red eyes that glimmered strangely turned off the classroom lights entirely, casting them into darkness. Mai felt her heart drop to the bottom of her gut at first, the events proceeding in a fashion she had not expected.
"Excuse the darkness for a moment if you would be so kind." The teacher said, as a loud clacking sound flipped a switch. It was only then, that a much softer blue light left the room in a glow. "There now." The woman said simply, turning to her lone student. "I am Shizuru Fujino, the instructor of this flower arranging course." After a short bow, she gave the carrot toped woman in front of her a tiny honest smile. "And you are?"
"Mai Tokiha." Mai answered earnestly, a little confused that she was alone with the woman in front of her. "I was under the impression that this was almost a full class of students."
"Oh, it is." Shizuru assured her as she began to prepare a few cups of warmed water. "This class holds around fifteen on any given day." As she prepared each one with a different type of flower petal, she also allowed her crimson eyes to give her student a once over, mentally making note of her casual appearance. "The rest of my students are currently engrossed with tonight's topic, I like to meet each new pupil before they officially start. Tonight is strictly for you and I."
"Oh…" Mai hadn't expected that, and scratched the back of her head a bit awkwardly. "Alright…"
"I find that many of my students come from backgrounds involving interior design, or perhaps landscaping. Some are art students looking to understand more innovative ways to make their showpieces pop out to the eye. Others I instruct due to their upbringing, although normally if that is the case, I'm hired as a private tutor." Shizuru explained, her words flowing freely from her lips in a gentle, soothing way. "Of course with such a verity of different needs, it's important that I speak with each student." After a few moments as she came to sit at the table. "Are you also here for supplemental learning?"
"No, it's more for relaxation than anything." The close proximity made her uncomfortable, and yet, it wasn't entirely unwelcome. There was some level of scrutiny there, Mai was sure, but there was also something else. Something that was kept distantly at the edges of Shizuru's eyes.
"I haven't heard that one in a while." Shizuru said, purely conversationally at best as she poured some tea. "Here you are. A blend iconic to this class, a fine rose tea, to compliment the lesson I've arranged for you. Could you perhaps tell me any past experience you might have had with flowers or decoration?"
Is it warmth that I see in her eyes? Mai asked herself. Kindness maybe…or...no, it can't be humor, can it? Try as thought she might, Mai couldn't be sure. Why is she so unreadable and yet so friendly? She reached for the tea, taking a sip. The flavor was a pleasant one. I've never really had a good white tea before, but this isn't too bad. She thought to herself, taking a more steady drink of the warm liquid. Shizuru seemed to be waiting for her to answer the question at hand, and Mai sighed, setting down the simple teal tea cup that occupied her attention.
"I'm a short order cook at my day job." Mai admitted slowly, still a bit unsure of what to think about the woman in front of her. "I don't really know anything about flowers, only herbs and dried spices, and even that is limited."
"Well, that I can help with." Shizuru said with a soft laugh, jotting down a few notes before taking a sip of her own tea. "I'll admit, I'm more of a stickler for finer details when the person's future depends on it. Tonight, for example, the class is touring the winter garden, writing down the flowers that most interest them. After I've determined what the vast majority of the class would like to work with, I'll add those flowers to the lesson plans. Although, I must admit, I don't often consider herbs or other edibles to add to the arrangements."
"I'm kind of glad you don't." Mai laughed. "It would be weird dealing with even more food after spending a day in the kitchens."
"Well, perhaps you're right about that." Shizuru considered the empty pot on the table that she'd already sectioned off with clear tape. "I would suggest you invest in an apron, one you don't mind getting dirty. As much as I enjoy working with a vase, I prefer potted plants. We often use them here. Tonight, I thought I might work with you on an assortment of already prepared flowers."
Mai nodded slowly. "Okay, so, what do I do first?"
"Well, for a person such as yourself, it may be best to skip the rigorous study of a book and just dive right in." Shizuru moved the vase towards Mai, the flowers already delicately waiting off to the side. "Now, generally anything that can hold water can be used when making a flower arrangement. Sometimes we use a piece of foam to support the flowers, but other times, we simply section off our vessel in a manner such as this." Shizuru lifted the first of many roses, considering the many colors that lay before them. "Picture it as if it were any other art form. The vase is the canvas, and the flowers are the colors with which you must paint…in that, do what feels right."
Mai nodded, taking the flower into her fingertips, feelings the stem as gently as possible, noting how neatly it had been trimmed and cared for. Taking a breath, she nodded. "Okay then, but, I can promise it will be very good."
One by one, she set the flowers in the pot, praying the entire time that it was good enough, wondering how come the sudden attention to her movements seemed to bother her so much. They're just flowers… She thought to herself, although in truth, it was much less the plants in front of her, and more the crimson eyes that unnerved her. She wondered what her tutor might be thinking, though she made no indication of what she thought of Mai's efforts. It's not like it really means anything… Her mind tried to enforce, but deep down, that was entirely the problem.
With all of the roses in the pot, she's taken to filling gaps with a flower known as baby's breath, a white flower with thin stems. They were easy to tangle, to weave between the other stems…a gap filler and little more, as Shizuru told her, but even that mere thought troubled Mai. Then again, nothing I ever do really means anything in the grand scheme, now does it?
"Miss Tokiha, are you quite alright?" Shizuru asked her, feeling as if somehow her student had gotten lost somewhere within the depths of her mind.
"Yes, I'm fine." Mai said quietly. "I just don't think there is any more to add to this, do you?"
Shizuru considered the girl in front of her, and then the arrangement. "Your mind is cluttered, your art reflects that." Shizuru said, having watched with great attention to detail how often Mai would overcrowded a space, or left a much larger gap in the arrangement. "Take a moment to view the focal point of the piece you've made. Study it, and think about why you've made the piece you have."
"I don't really know why." Mai said with a shrug. "I guess I'm not really good at this, am I?" She asked, a frown on her face.
"It isn't bad, not for a first try." Shizuru explained as she pulled a few of the flowers from their space, moving them into a different position. "Flowers are delicate, and some like to live bunched up together in a big knot. Others need a little space to flourish. They each have their own living conditions, and their own lifespan. There's color choices to always consider, as well as the age old question of whether or not to use foam as a support." Shizuru said, having adjusted the piece only slightly. "Those are things I can teach you…however, I'm unable to teach you the answers to your unspoken questions."
Mai wasn't sure how to swallow down the lump in her throat, hearing the words as she did. Knowing that Shizuru could see the wavering in every little movement she made, and even told Mai as such.
It was an unnerving wave of emotion that didn't go away that sleepless night, or during the madness of cooking in the back kitchen the next day. All that she knew, was that deep down, she wanted something more gratifying.
...
To know that her life was lack luster at best, and that somehow arranging flowers reflected those unsteady emotions that Mai tried to keep concealed really dug under her skin...it annoyed her, provoking her relentlessly.
"I swear, I'm going crazy." Mai told her boss as she continued to work in the kitchen. It was something that came to her easily. The one accomplishment that she felt had any merit. "I mean, do you think that my new sensei is out of line, or am I just taking things too hard?"
"You're tired." The older man grumbled.
"I'm not that tired." Mai said with a shake of her head.
"You're tired…" He repeated. "Also thinking too hard." The older gentleman who owned the place said as he counted the cash in the register. "She simply gave you her opinion. You can't let that unbalance your life." He muttered through gritted teeth as he blew cigar smoke out of his nose.
"Well, isn't that the problem?" Mai asked. "My entire life is already off kilter."
He licked his lips, and drew deeply from the cigar in his mouth. "She hardly knows you." He finally said through a billow of smoke. "Don't worry."
"But she hit the nail right on the head, didn't she?" Mai asked, the simple question was more to her.
And Yamada knew that. "So what if she did?" He husked. "Does it change anything?" He watched as the carrot top shrugged, trying perhaps, to brush aside the hesitancy she felt.
"I'm not used to strangers doing that, especially so candidly." Mai explained, flipping a patty of red meat over onto the sizzling flat top. "Only one who's ever really come close is Natsuki." Her action speaking all of her frustration as she tossed some sliced potato for a different order into the deep fryer.
"Well, what were you hoping for?" He asked her, a question muttered so quietly, it would leave Mai guessing. It would be up to her if she wanted to answer it or not.
She took the risk, because she knew he would never judge. "I don't know what I was expecting….but it wasn't that." She shook her head with a sigh, knowing it was silly to be upset about it. "Maybe my teacher is right about me." Mai told him. "Maybe I do have a lot of unanswered questions in my life."
"Mai, there's not a single human alive who doesn't." Yamada told her, slamming the metal cash drawer closed. "You're just taking her words to heart." His lips were dry, so he pulled a flask from his pocket. "You shouldn't." He went on to say before sipping on the liquor kept within.
"It would be easier of life just sort of made every decision for me." Mai laughed, dishing up some hash browns and ringing a bell before returning to one of her other orders. "At least then I won't have any questions at all."
"Hnn." He grunted, jetting more smoke through his nose as a patron that he knew well entered the small dinner. "Well, don't you look pissy." He chuckled to himself. "What crawled up your ass and died today, l Natsuki."
"Hey Pops, cut it out." A familiar voice said, as she neared the counter. "It's been a day from hell."
"Didn't think it would be sunshine and kittens." He muttered to her. "Never really is according to your tight little ass."
"You're fault. You raised me." The dark haired girl said, though a half smirk found her lips for a moment. Then, she called over the open window into the kitchen. "Mai, got any food back there?"
Mai peaked out, looking at Yamada's adopted daughter, clad in her biking leathers, as was always the case. "Already on it, making the usual." Mai said as she regarded the girl with emerald colored eyes, who was usually very unapproachable. "Let me guess, Nat, double mayo kind of day?"
"Double shot kind of day." Natsuki groused, pealing her hands out of her gloves. "The idiots are out in force, and my bike has a flat."
"Well how'd ya do that?" He asked, knowing that Natsuki wasn't the most careful driver, but she loved her bike.
She frowned at the man behind the counter, lifting the cause of her distress. "Rusty nail…"
"Did you walk here?" Yamada asked as he pulled his flask from his jacket, handing it to Natsuki. She was too young to be drinking, but he didn't particularly mind.
"Well, I sure as hell wasn't popping wheelies down the freeway." Natsuki said back, unscrewing the lid and taking a sip before handing it back.
"Order up." Mai said, having plated the hamburger she had been making before and the fries, Mayo jar placed atop the metal slab so that Natsuki could use as much as she wanted. "Just don't ruin it with that white slop."
"You look like a raccoon dog." Natsuki told her friend, the tactless remark her only hint that she was concerned about seeing the dark circles under her friend's eyes.
"I didn't sleep well last night." Mai answered through a painted on grin, slapped haphazardly across her face. She knew Natsuki could tell, but was just as thankful the dark haired woman wouldn't comment on it.
"Take the afternoon off." The Yamada finally muttered as he flicked some ashes into a metal try he kept for just such occasion. "Make some lunch, take it to the hospital."
"Takumi's on the heart floor." Mai said then. "He can't eat this stuff."
"Well, at least go visit. His wife is there too, ain't she?" He groused. "Be back to close, we'll call it even."
"Thanks, Yamada." Mai said, as she nodded, untying her apron.
"Nao's already up there." Natsuki said loud enough for Mai's benefit before looking to the man who raised her. "Let me give her a ride at least."
Yamada fished around in his pocket for his car keys, and with a shrug he tossed them to Natsuki. "Get mayo on my new leather and you're dead."
"Pops, come on." Natsuki grinned. "Who do you think you're talking to?"
"A pain in my ass who thinks she's tough shit." He said before slapping his large hand on the side of the counter. "Akane, Mai's taking off. Need you in the back. Hop to it."
"Coming!" Mai and Natsuki could hear the other short order cook call out as they made a swift exit through the back.
...
Mai wouldn't be able to thank Yamada enough for his support of her life, with her little brother being as ill as he was. It was that loyalty that kept her working even while exhausted. He paid well, and saw the truth for what it was. He was a simple man, guided by even simpler ideals. In that way, he would forever be a rock solid support in her often crumbling life.
She was worried about Takumi, always had been, and until he had a new heart, always will be.
Even after Takumi got married, he was still her only family. Her baby brother. She couldn't just leave the matters at hand to Akira, even though, deep down she knew she could. If it was just fear that crept up on her, or because she honestly didn't know any other way to live her life, she wasn't sure.
All that Mai knew was that she felt better being with him, near the doctors so that she could have firsthand information.
As she walked down the long corridors that were well mapped out in her head, she knew she would eventually reach the room he stayed in. When she got there, he was still resting peacefully. His long ruddy hair was disheveled around his face. Quietly and carefully, so as not to wake him, she trimmed his bangs while he slept. "I wish all of life's problems were so easy to fix." She murmured to the boy that was fresh out of high school. He didn't stir, but she knew that he wouldn't because he was such a heavy sleeper.
One look at his heart monitor, and she could tell his blood pressure was still elevated. "And you tell me that I need to take it easy, look at you…"
With a sigh, she sat down next to him, unaware that just outside the corridor, two very skilled women were eavesdropping. They sat outside in the waiting room, a bug planted behind one of the picture frames in Takumi's room. They just sat, listening to Mai, her quiet sobs not loud enough to wake her brother…ending expertly as soon as Mai suspected that the young man would open his eyes.
Even when he woke, suspecting his sister's distress, she denied the claim, and the siblings spoke amongst themselves.
Shizuru listened, feeling the weight of Mai's voice, a tangible pain hidden so expertly, she doubted that many others would really know where the pang of emotion stemmed from. Shizuru even felt lost by it herself, unsure of where it had disappeared to when the man had woken from slumber.
Mai's night and day reactions were a concern…she was trying to be strong…but, perhaps too strong.
"How long?" Shizuru asked her friend and fellow combat specialist, careful to keep her voice low and her words discrete.
"A while, I guess." Akira said then, more willing to hand out information in the otherwise empty waiting room. "I met Takumi in middle school, so when I'd met him, he was already sick. Mai's been the only one to look out for him."
"She acts as if she's his mother." Shizuru replied, turning to face Akira, trying to discern the truth of her own statement.
"She might as well be." Akira shrugged. "Their mom died when they were kids."
"What about their father?" Shizuru said, feeling a twinge of surprise.
"Works overseas on an oil rig." Akira said with a sigh. "I don't think he comes around, but I know he calls and sends money. Takumi says that the job is dangerous, but the pay is good."
"So she has been on her own for a long time." Shizuru thought to herself aloud as she tapped one finger on the wall she leaned on. "Doesn't she confide in any friends?"
"Look, I'm not doing this because I want to." Akira said aloofly. "Takumi asked me to help, but to do it as privately as possible. He doesn't want Mai to know how worried he really is, so that's why I'm asking you about what you think."
"It doesn't sound like an average depression." Shizuru said after some thought. "She's a strong girl, pained…but, I don't she needs a shrink, if that's what you're asking." She closed her eyes, trying to detect the pangs of sadness that Mai seemed to so easily conceal, even if she sometimes faltered in her task. "I believe that this is beyond my ken, however, and I would think you might want to explore this further."
"You know that's not what I'm asking." Akira said, her hand resting over her pocket where a well concealed knife made of glass lay waiting. "I know that you know exactly what's wrong." It was a worried tell of hers, and she made the action often when her mind felt bogged down by the weight of the choices in her life. "Get her to calm down and take a few steps back…she needs it, or she's going to crack one of these days….like Takumi said, she's been strong long enough."
"She's lonely." Shizuru told Akira. "If you want my opinion, that's what it is." Shizuru could hear it in Mai's voice. The unspoken scream, as if there was a ghost waving frantically to be noticed, a lost voice buried by a well-crafted facade. "A flower arranging class isn't going to just fix her life, Akira." Shizuru said, but even as she did, she pulled the earbud out of her ear, handing it back to the shorter woman. "If it could, my life would surely be a lot less complicated than it already is. I'm in no condition to be easing her burdens, I have plenty of my own."
"I'm just saying…consider it an undercover mission of sorts." Akira said, as she licked her lips, itching for a good fight with an old friend. "You've been bored for a while, and this is probably a great idea for your training. All of the combat training in the world won't do you any good if you don't start to get to know people."
"That's a bit of a strong assumption coming from you." Shizuru said with a smile, one that didn't hold under Akira's gaze.
"A person's mind is their strongest weapon." The ninja returned. "Understanding the opponent at hand is perhaps the most difficult challenge."
"I'll consider it training, perhaps." Shizuru said slowly. "She's still my student, so at the very least, I'll keep an eye on her in my class."
"Shizuru, our families may practice two very different types of combat, but, we've been training together for years." Her tongue could become like a lance, cutting through Shizuru's often withdrawn and fragile emotions. "That's why I know you…and I know that you're terrified of others. Maybe it's time you step out of that shell of yours before someone really cracks it."
"Is this an order?" Shizuru asked with a displeased frown.
"It's a challenge." Akira returned.
"Akira, I understand what you're trying to do, but I do not require your help." Shizuru told her good friend. "I'm fine, truly."
"I've heard that line before." Akira said, the edges of her features still hardened by her training, cold, and sharp. "Too many people around me say it, but none of you mean it."
"Perhaps we do, and you simply lack faith." Shizuru said, but her words fell flat, shattering, when Akira met her eye to eye, unflinchingly and unwaveringly. "I will look after Mai while she's in my class, I assure you...but, this is all that I can promise."
"I expected better out of you, Shizuru." It was one of the benefits of the arts, being able to cut to the quick and justified heart of the matter. It was a deadly assassin's greatest skill, a ninja's primary shield, and to master such a thing lead to a greater understand…a more distinct type of enlightenment. "You need to learn to protect something besides your own fears for a change, and I'm sure Mai won't give you an easy time of it."
"For you to say such a thing, I'm sure she will not." Shizuru nodded. "However, that it why I desire to keep maters at arms length."
…
Maybe it was a futile effort from the start...
What does one protect, if not themselves? Shizuru asked herself absentmindedly as she paced up and down the front of the classroom, rambling about the pansy plant, and the care it often required. Even to protect others is not a selfless action, but one done out of a need to preserve human life…perhaps, in that way, mankind is often more cruel to prolong what should be ended. It was a mindset given to her in training, kill quickly, and do not permit suffering. Mankind as a rule always tends to protect our own sense of right and wrong, others be damned…so, why is it, Akira, that you ask me to stray from that normality?
Shizuru steadied herself inwardly as she cleared her throat. "The pansy plant is in the same division as the Magnoliophyta, and is thusly classified as a magnoliopside." She wrote notes on the chalkboard, though she would never test others on the information she gave them, she knew some in the class would value the information. She identified the scientific names and classifications of the plant because it was an easy thing to do.
Not to mention, the textbook answers were not always unwelcome. She had gotten a degree in botany, not because she required it, but because she felt as if she had to prove herself worthy in as many ways as possible.
"The name pansy is derived from the French word, pensie, meaning thought or remembrance." She said then as she put down her chalk. "Some of you may be interested to note that it is in fact an edible species of tricolored blooms. The ancestor is a plant known as the viola. Do keep in mind though, that the viola is a rather large genus that contains over five hundred species." With that, Shizuru smiled to herself. It was also her mother's maiden name, not that she would ever say as much to her pupils.
"I thought that the viola were a family of violets." One of her other students said, tapping her pen on her notebook. "We covered violets last term, and I was almost positive that you classified violets under viola."
"Wonderful question, Miss Kikukawa. The viola contains both branches." Shizuru nodded. "Pansies are loved for their perkiness, and as what some would call a face flower. We use them as showpieces, and edibles in salads. Violets are most notable for their scents that help make a wide range of perfume."
"If you can eat them, what do they taste like?" Another girl asked, this one much younger than most other students.
Shizuru smiled in spite of herself, knowing this girl since the day she had been born…a young sister to a good friend she knew. "I haven't a clue, Mikoto. Just because you can east something doesn't always mean that you should." Then she turned to the chalkboard again. "That having been said, they're known to have high levels of vitamins A and C."
"They're sweet when used properly to make syrup." Mai blurted out quietly.
"You have something to add, Miss Tokiha?" Shizuru asked.
"Um, sorry about that…" Mai said. "You can make honey from edible flowers by making a simple syrup…"
"Have you ever done that?" Shizuru asked her.
The carrot top shook her head. "Only eaten them." Mai said averting her eyes slightly. "They have kind of a strong flavor." Mai shrugged. "You also put them as garnish in soups sometimes…but only really expensive places do something like that."
Uncanny woman, aren't you, Miss Tokiha? Shizuru asked herself with a smirk. There is more to you than first meets the eye… The thought, while one that begged for answers was not one she would be allowed to ask at the moment, so she moved on from the textbook part of the class onto a more freeform project that she had been meaning to get to.
"Those of you taking notes may close your books." Shizuru said. "Please gather your baskets that you've chosen and place them off to the side."
"Aww, but I thought we were going to paint them!" Mikoto chirped.
Shizuru shook her head. "Not in here." She then addressed the class. "You'll want to go to a well-ventilated space to spray your paint of choice to on the wicker basket. We'll be going outside for that part of the project, but until that time please locate the slide in lingers and acquire one that fits your basket." Shizuru instructed as the class did as they were told.
She noticed some were better prepared than others, and waited for the class to settle. "Somewhere on your table, you should see the pea gravel from other projects, go ahead not and cover the bottom with it." She flicked her eyes over to one of her problem students. "Mikoto, too much."
"Okay Sensei!" The girl chirped, but hadn't quite grasped the concept as some spilled over the plastic liner.
"Yukino, could you assist Mikoto through the project?" Shizuru asked, receiving a nod. "Wonderful!" She said, thankful she would not have to hold up the rest of the class. "Now then, remove the pansies from their containers, and after doing so, carefully set the root ball gently over the gravel."
"Sensei, mine are all tangled." Another girl in the class said.
"They will be, and that's just fine." Shizuru nodded. "Not to worry, the roots will care for themselves." She lifted her clear container for the class to see. "It should look something like this. Having done that, cover the root ball with moss." As she brushed her hands free of some tiny particles of debris, she took a drink of the tea on her desk to wet her lips. "The upkeep for this particular type of plant is fairly simple. Just water the moss when it dries out. A little sun here and there, and it's perfect for a small table decoration."
After the instructional period, she sent the class outside with their chosen can of spray paint, telling them to cover and decorate the basket till their hearts content. It was a graded project, so many left to go outside without complaint. It was Mai however, who seemed troubled as she pondered fabric choices instead, cutting a length of blue and white plaid ribbon. "Tokiha, do you not plan to paint your basket?"
She looked up from her work of tying an elaborate bow around the middle. "Oh, umm…" She looked down at the wicker basket she'd brought in. As instructed, it was a lighter wood, and now she knew why her teacher had asked them to do that. "You always say that the location of plant in question should always take priority when choosing a vessel. Well, this particular plant isn't going to a place where paint would be ideal."
"I take it that you mean the hospital?" Shizuru asked, causing Mai to stiffen visibly. It was a chance, and Shizuru took it. "My friend shares your last name…hyphenated, of course, but it still stands." She took another sip of tea. "Her husband is your little brother, correct?"
Mai's violet eyes avoided Shizuru's crimson ones. "Yes." She said quietly, forcing a smile. "He's doing well."
"Then I'm glad." Shizuru said, knowing it was merely a ruse Mai seemed to toss up in front of her. "No paint then, but as I tend to recall, I did say this would be a graded assignment, so you'll be docked points of you skimp on the details."
Mai's smile fell, her voice gaining a slight edge. "Well then, I guess I'll just have to be sure that I won't disappoint."
Shizuru nodded, and headed outside to check on the rest of her pupils, who were busy nattering away about color schemes, closing the door behind her, leaning heavily against it. Alright Tokiha, it seems like we have to switch up your training a little bit. Shizuru thought to herself, her lower lip pulling between her teeth. The only question is, how does one truly go about that?
Shaking herself of her worry, she let her eyes focus on Mikoto, who was covered in paint, and realized for not the first time that there were in fact other students who also required a guiding hand.
…
Mai had made it for him…but as she leaned heavily on her counter in the apartment, she couldn't stop staring at it…that infuriatingly cheery basket, with droopy flowers, wilting in front of her. She wasn't sure if it was too much water, or not enough sun, but she felt as if the flowers were dying a slow, protracted death. She swallowed hard, toying with the material of the bow, feeling the fabric between her thumb and first finger.
A week had passed since then, and every project she'd made had yielded the same result. A project that was docked points for several reasons, and she soon realized her heart was not into it, and she skipped class the following day. She thought that maybe no one would care that she had gone missing for just a few hours, that she could blissfully forget that she was even needed in the first place.
But, if I'm not needed, then there's no point for me to even be here… Mai reprimanded herself, refusing to think that. Her brother did need her, and she needed him. I got to keep it together, for his sake… She told herself, swallowing hard. I promised mom I'd look after him, so, that's what I've got to do… The mental order wasn't enough though, because she still felt tired...completely and entirely exhausted emotionally.
Her phone rang, and even thought she knew who was going to call her this evening, she still felt annoyed as she pressed the answer button. "Hello?"
"Hello, Miss Tokiha, this is Shizuru Fujino speaking." The woman on the other end of the line said. "When you didn't show for tonight's class, I was concerned. You didn't leave a notice."
"I was busy." Mai said quietly.
"So busy in fact, that you've not answered your phone for anyone all day?" Shizuru asked her, knowing that to be entirely the case. "Akira's worried."
"I was caught up at work, came home and fell asleep." Mai said tiredly. "I didn't feel up to coming to class. If Akira's put you up to calling me, please, don't worry. Everything's fine."
"It's my obligation to check in with my students." Shizuru explained. "Especially those who struggle in my class."
"Well, I'm starting to think that's not a very good idea anymore." Mai said, trying to find strength in her voice. "Anyway, I'm kind of tired and I-"
"Open the door." Shizuru interrupted softly, ever so gently.
"M-my door?" Mai said lifting herself from her place near the counter. "Why?" She neared her apartment's front door before closing her phone. Taking a breath, she did eventually open the door, wondering if her eyes were deceiving her. "What are you doing?"
"I could ask you the same thing." Shizuru said, handing Mai a plastic bag. "Tonight's project was a lesson on tulips."
"I have work…" It was a weak protest, Mai knew…but it was her only one.
"And, I have a class to teach, so are you going to let me in, or aren't you?" Shizuru said, an honesty dancing in her crimson eyes, gentle but unwavering.
Mai slowly stepped to the side, feeling as if her entire world had shaken itself sideways, as her teacher unraveled the long scarf she had worn with her jacket. When Mai looked into the bag, she noticed there weren't any flowers in side of it, but rather something else in a small can. "Um…Sensei…"
"Shizuru." The older woman said.
"Well, Shizuru…what does this have to do with tulips?" Mai said, feeling even more confused than before. Opening the can, she realized a candle lay within.
Instead of giving a proper answer, a small and easy going smile was all that she offered. "Go get into something comfortable, and I shall do the same." Shizuru shook her head when Mai seemed about to protest again. "I'm going to change up your recommended learning. I'd like for you to trust me."
So, Mai got into a black tank top and a pair of loose fitting pajama pants, sighing as when she exited her room, Shizuru was also out of the bathroom dressed a silken Kimono, her hair let down from the bun it had been in when she arrived earlier. The lights were off, and only the single candle flickered in the dark room, the soothing scent of vanilla wafting around them.
"Come here and sit down." Shizuru said, patting the blanket she had placed upon the floor for this exercise.
Mai did as she was told, but her uncertainty screamed from the depths of her eyes. "Okay, so what now."
"Talk." Shizuru told her, taking Mai's hand in her own, starting to gently massage it.
"I don't really have anything to talk about." Mai shrugged, starting to feel unnerved, her gut turning upside down.
"Everyone has secrets." Shizuru began to say after she realized that Mai wasn't going to be forthcoming with information. It was to be expected, so Shizuru kept her words calm and quiet. "Truths they would rather keep hidden…things they feel are better left unsaid. I know that's the easy way to think…but, it's the hard way to live."
"Did training with Akira teach you that?" Mai asked then.
"Life taught me that." Shizuru corrected, she lifted her eyes to Mai's for a mere moment, taking Mai's other hand in hers, repeating the process. "It's taught me a great deal of things, but such lessons were not so easy to come by."
"This is supposed to be a class about flowers, right?" Their eyes met for a moment, the shared ruse between them.
"Akira talks to me, confides quite deeply of her concerns." Shizuru forced her eyes back on her task. "I'm sure you understand." She said quietly.
"Then you're wrong." Mai returned. "I don't really understand." She pulled her arm slowly from Shizuru's grasp. "Besides, I still don't get why you're so concerned all of a sudden. I'm just tired, it's been a long week."
"And a long few months." Shizuru added. "And a long year...then a long decade...over all, it's been a long life." She shook her head. "You can't pretend that smile of yours isn't fading, because it is." She reached for the tea steeping in the pot, and poured two small mugs. "So, you can choose to continue on, pretending, lying only to yourself…or, you can have some tea."
"It's just stress." Mai said with a shake of her head. "Besides, I don't really want to be a burden."
Shizuru handed her the tea, crimson eyes soft, but probing. "an interesting way to think, wrong though it is." A searching gaze that didn't burn like Mai thought it might, and yet, it was far too deep for any sort of comfort. "Admitting that you aren't holding up as well as you'd like everyone to think isn't being a burden."
"Yes." Mai said. "It is."
"It's being truthful." Shizuru replied slowly, taking a sip of her own much sought after tea. "You should have something warm to drink."
Mai did partake of the tea, but she said nothing as she sipped on it, the flavor was one unlike any other.
"Continue coming to class, Mai." Shizuru said quietly. "Do so, and you might actually surprise yourself."
"I'll think about it." Mai said after a few moments. "But I can't promise anything."
"You already did, unknowingly, when you drank the tea. When you gave enough trust to reach out and partake." Shizuru said quietly. "As I said before, you could go on pretending, or you could drink some tea with me."
"It is good tea, but I don't understand what that has to do with anything." Mai said, to which Shizuru merely smiled.
"This is a rose tea, most notably a Christmas rose tea." She offered Mai a smile then. "The meaning of the Christmas rose is entirely up to interpretation, but in general it means to allay disquiet…or rather 'allay my disquiet' as the phrase often used goes." She took another sip. "I will not betray you…but you must trust in me to understand."
…
It was a promise Mai made with hesitancy. There weren't many who could understand her need to work into exhaustion, least she dream of her worst fears. There were even fewer who could accept that she always put her brother's needs first, at the expense of her own. The ones that did understand worried, of course, but didn't nag her. They didn't have the luxury, nor the position to do so.
It was a mixed blessing perhaps. They were the ones she would listen to the most, and yet, they never said a word to her about her health. Instead, they enabled her, bringing food with them to Takumi's room, waited with her during his tests day and night, and on those rare days when she was sick or emotionally unable to leave her bed, they were the ones who looked after her.
It wasn't ideal by far, but nothing about the situation at hand ever would be. Knowing this, they had made their own family, when they'd had none…it wasn't normal for outsiders, but they couldn't have cared less about that. As Mai sat down in her brother's hospital room, she moved an empty booze flask she knew belonged to one of her friends, and a pipe that belonged to another.
"What do they think they're doing in here?" Mai said quietly, lifting the objects and putting them on the end table.
"It's not like Nao actually smokes in here." Takumi shrugged through a grin, adjusting the sheets that were bugging him. "And I think Natsuki's flask is empty."
"I would kill Nao if she smoked in the room." Mai said, crossing her arms.
Her brother rolled his eyes. "Only if Akira didn't get to her first."
"Never mind that." The nurse in the room said then. "I would be the first in line…"
"I don't doubt it." Mai laughed through a yawn… it was the umpteenth one today.
"Mai, it's just a hearth cath. It's really no big deal…I mean think about it, how many of these have I had in my life? It's old news." Takumi protested as he twisted the wristband on his arm. "Go home, and I'll have Akira call you after she talks to the doctor and gets the results."
"Seven total, if you really want to know." Mai told him, having kept count since he was a small boy. "I don't care what you say, I'm staying here until I talk to the doctor myself."
"Oh, come on sis." Takumi rolled his eyes. "You're being unreasonable, it's just a routine test."
"You're being too complacent." Mai told him, handing him a small cup of water to take with the pills the nurse had brought him.
"Nurse Yohko, Tell Mai to go home." He said looking at the woman who was busy checking his vitals. "She's going to fall asleep sitting there again, I just know it."
"Takumi, some wars are never going to be won. If could never get her to go home as a teenager, what makes you think I could begin to start now?" She said smiling at him, before turning to Mai. She did look very sleepy. "Though I do think she should go rest for a few hours, or at the very least have something to eat at the cafeteria."
"No need…she can eat here." Natsuki said walking in, a paper bag crumped in one hand. "Pops thought you guys might be hungry…sent me up here with chicken sandwiches." Her emerald eyes cut to Takumi, worry hidden well behind her cool mask of indifference towards him. "Lay off of your sister, she's here because of you." Natsuki told him, sitting beside Mai in the other empty chair.
"Thanks Natsuki, but why two." Mai said with a soft smile. As she opened the bag to see two small sandwiches on the inside, along with two very thickly wrapped hamburgers.
"There's a half of one for Takumi in there." Natsuki shrugged. "Pops ranted something about hospital food not being worth shit… I wasn't exactly listening."
"I would often be inclined to agree." The nurse said, looking at the one that Mai handed to her. She looked at it, folded in the paper and nodded to herself. "After the procedure, I don't see any harm in letting Takumi have this."
"Are you sure?" Mai asked, raising an eyebrow. "Yamada doesn't know how to cook healthy food."
"A strong mental constitution is just as important for recovery." The nurse shrugged. "That little bit of mayo isn't going to hurt him, and it's not as if it looks saturated in grease. I'll inform the doctor doing the rounds, but honestly, a half of a chicken sandwich is the least of what could ail him at this time."
"It's not even mayo." Natsuki muttered. "It's that fat free knock off crap."
"Well, either way, I don't mind." The nurse said. "I'm on tonight, so I'll be here to take the blame for it."
"Natsuki, thank Jesus, I'm fucking starving!" Another person said walking into the room. "Hey toots…mom's room could use a new light bulb for her bedside lamp." She said waving off the nurse as she walk by.
"I'll get on it later, Nao." Yohko said with a roll of her eyes. "As you can see, I'm a little busy." Then she turned to Takumi. "You take it easy. No eating before the cath, and keep drinking to a minimum."
"I think he knows the routine.." Nao said with a roll of her eyes as she finally made it over to Natsuki. "Babe, tell me you brought me something to eat." Nao said, taking a seat on Natsuki's lap, prompting a blush from her girlfriend for the overt public display.
"How is your mom?" Natsuki asked, handing Nao a thick double beef patty with extra cheese and ketchup before diving into her own glop covered hamburger. "Did they finally find anything?"
"No." Nao said in an angry half growl. "When they pull their thumbs out of their asses and finally test her, they say it's the same brain activity as always. She's active, just not waking up."
"It takes time, Nao." Mai said, as she set her meal off to the side, deciding to that she would eat with her brother later, and placed it into the small side fridge he kept in his long stay private room. "She'll wake up eventually."
"She better do it soon." Nao sighed. "Otherwise all of this reading I've been doing is just a damn waste of time." She looked up at the clock. "What time is the heart cath?"
"They'll be taking him for prep within the hour." Mai said as she checked her watch. "Akira will be here soon, won't she?"
"After she gets done with her students at the dojo." Takumi nodded. "But Mai, promise me once she gets here that you'll go home."
"I'm not making any promises Takumi." She told him.
"Dude, chill out. We got this." Nao told him, smelling of pot, and cigarettes. "If there one thing the three of us are good at, it's settling in for the long haul." Then she nudged Natsuki's shoulder, nodding her head towards the door. "I'm going for a smoke, coming with?"
"You're going to have an ashtray for lungs." Natsuki muttered as she stood. "You promised me you'd quit." She folded her half eaten meal in the paper and carried it in one hand, giving a glance to Mai. "We'll be back to sit with you before they take him down."
"Yeah, it'll take less than five." Nao nodded as they exited the room. "When my mom wakes up, I'll quit." Nao shot back at something Natsuki muttered only loud enough for Nao to hear as the two girls bantered down the hallway. "That was the deal."
Mai sighed and shook her head while Takumi grinned, it was never a dull moment when Nao was around. "Well, we may not have a lot of blood relatives, but you can't say we don't have an insane family." The man said to his sister.
"I still say we might as well buy out a few rooms and turn this place into an apartment complex." Mai told tom, leaning back in her chair. "Doesn't Nao ever go home?"
"You're sitting on it." Takumi told her. "Who do you think takes the night watch when Akira has to go back to the dojo?"
"Akira should be here for you." Mai fired back through a yawn.
"She visits every day, and when I need her, she comes." Takumi smiled, as he watched the all too familiar sight of his sister trying not to fall asleep beside him. "But unlike my sister who doesn't listen to reason, my wife actually has good sense and knows she has to take good care of herself." He said, smacking Mai in the face with one of his pillows. "At least lay down sis, or you're going to raise my blood pressure."