"I've done it!" Giannini came running through the doors as fast as his tiny, weak legs could carry him, sweat glistening on his oval face and jolly belly leaping with his every step. Held high above his head in a clear vial was pinkish liquid. "I HAVE MADE THE MOST WONDERFUL – Gah!" He tripped.

And watched with pure, horrified despair, as the vial flew… flew… flew…

And shattered against Lambo's head.

He screamed. "NOOOOOOO!" He fell into depression, eyes blankly staring as his lips quivered. "… My… most wonderful… LOVE POTION!" He wailed.

Lambo wiggled his nose. "Eh? A love potion?" He hummed thoughtfully, tapping two fingers to his forehead. "… I am not in the mood to fall in love right now." He sighed rather dramatically. "I must kill Reborn, my longtime archrival."

"What are you talking about, cow?" Said rival sauntered in, hot as hell like always. He was a spectacular specimen of a man, from the top of his expression-concealing fedora to his polished Italian loafers.

There was a moment of silence. Lambo's beautiful boy-face flushed rose pink from his hairline all the way to his partially revealed collarbone. His emerald green eyes were wide and adoring. Wanting and needing. Loving.

Reborn sneered.

Giannini paled. "Oh no… It-t-t's happening!"

"Re~born~!" Lambo wandered a hand down from his lips to his neck, across his shoulder and slipping into his shirt, undoing the only button done on his cow-print shirt. "I'm all yours for the taking…" He purred. His eyes became heavy lidded. "Please… don't keep me waiting long." He bit on the tip of his one finger, his other hand still wandering… wandering…

Oh goodness…

Giannini collapsed into a heap of his own hentai-induced blood.

Reborn wasn't much better off, clutching at his nose as his obsidian eyes followed the movement of Lambo's hands.

"… …" Reborn – the greatest goddamned hitman in the world, the former sun arcobaleno, the most sadistic tutor ever hired, the most cruel, cold-hearted, handsome, lusted for man in the all fucking universe – was struck speechless as Lambo strutted over to him in nothing but a desperately clinging cow-print shirt and his jewelry.

Lambo dropped to his hands and knees and rubbed his cheek against the hitman's thigh, tilting his head further back until his mouth brushed against the tent forming in Reborn's pants.

"My my, Reborn… Is that a gun… or are you just happy to see me?" His hands kneaded the hitman's hips. He moaned wantonly. "I want you in me, I need you in me, I'll let you do what ever you want with me if you just give me your big, hard c**k in my hungry **s. F*** me long and mercilessly. I don't wanna be able to walk in the morning~"

His naughty little bleeped plea sent Giannini into a stroke, body violently jerking as a trail of drool trailed out of the corner of his mouth.

Reborn made a sound like a dying motor, fingers twitching and breathing becoming slightly heavier.

He tangled one hand in Lambo's hair, forcing the teen to look up at him. "Your **s is mine!" Cue the foreboding darkness rising like waves from the ground and a great booming roar echoed to Reborn's undeniable statement.

Lambo smiled, cheeks flushed as he sighed blissfully.

He slid along Reborn's frame to regain his feet, brushing his hands up along the hitman's sides and fingers rubbing.

His smile turned into a smirk. The flush faded.

He pressed a kiss to Reborn's cheek and turned on his heel, picking his clothes back up and stepping into them with complete nonchalance.

"I knew that would be worth it." He chuckled.

Reborn was staring after him with hardly masked shocked and lust. "Cow." He growled. He snapped his fingers and pointed in front of him. "Back here. Now."

"No." Lambo shrugged into his cow-print shirt. "You mocked me when I asked you to dinner last night." He pressed his hands to his heart, tears glittering in his eyes but not falling. The world cried in united despair at the picture of utter heartfelt pain the teen emitted. "I will not hand over my body so easily…" Out of the corner of his eye, he gave Reborn a most sly, most devious glance. "Even if what I said still stands as the truth."

With that said and done, the teen all but skipped away, leaving a flustered Reborn and now-conscious Giannini behind.

Reborn stared after him with a gaping mouth, hands slack at his sides. He coughed weakly, a supposed denial to what just happened.

"Oh… Oh ho ho…" Giannini had – somewhere between having the believed stroke and Lambo's sudden departure – managed to crawl to where the vial had shattered against the teen and was now examining the shards. "Oh… Oh dear…" He laughed nervously. "This is not the love potion as I thought…" He gulped.

Reborn was staring down at him with intense, burning hellfire, shadows cast over his entire structure that almost made his obsidian eyes glow.

Giannini did not even have to look at Reborn to shiver, paling even more.

"… This is j-j-just the perfume K-Kyoko-chan wanted me t-to – AAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!"

Giannini's body has yet to be found.

Tsuna was going to put a bounty out to find his missing technician, but was talked out of his by his ever faithful (if not almost always scheming) former tutor.

Lambo finally got a date with the cold-hearted hitman.

That same night, no one at the Vongola HQ or anyone within a three-mile radius caught a wink of sleep for the thunderstorm…

Or was that screaming?

Author's Note: I'M BACK! Heh heh heh~ Miss me?

Yes… Yes… I don't know if I spelled Giannini right, so correct me if I'm wrong, okay? But, yeah, Lambo's a mad genius. He saw his chance to avenge his dateless night and took it. So devious~

Love me and review?