Hey guys! This is BlueWastelander. This is my first fic in a while so please feel free to leave me some feedback! (But don't be total douche canoes.)

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters from the Fallout franchise and am just borrowing them to create stories.

Ad Victoriam

The crackling of lightning and thunder outside startled me awake. I sat up and dazedly stared out the window of the small abandoned house at the putrid green radiation storm that had brewed over the hours I had been asleep. I swallowed back a queasy feeling and groaned inwardly. Getting used to the Commonwealth was difficult, especially when it was so nonchalantly dropped in my lap.

I pulled the thin brown blanket up to cover my chest and peered over my shoulder at Danse.

How is he still sleeping? I was mildly irritated that my new found partner was able to sleep so soundly in the restless wasteland. Especially with the thin wool blanket that was incessantly itchy and scratchy against my soft skin.

I laid down on my side so I could look at Danse's face while he continued snoozing. His thick brows were knitted together and I knew he was having another nightmare. I gently brushed the tips of my fingers along the scar on his cheek and wondered what kind of things he had experienced growing up in the Wasteland. Synth or not, he was a child at one point. I scooted closer to him in the small twin sized bed and pressed my lips against the deep crease between his brows. He stirred and I pulled back so I could watch his warm amber eyes open.

He jumped as he woke up and quickly looked around the room. He appeared to be looking for threats and when he finally decided we were okay he laid back on the lumpy mattress and sleepily grumbled, "Why did you let me sleep so long, Evelyn?"

"We don't have anywhere to be anymore. I thought you'd like to rest a little," I said tracing my fingers over his bare chest before spreading tiny kisses over his collarbone up to his neck.

He frowned and pulled me into his side, "I keep forgetting."

I didn't say anything and instead traced his nipple for a second before he caught my fingers firmly in his hand, "You know I don't like that."

It was true; I knew it, but it momentarily distracted him from the memories of me saving his life when Elder Maxon had come for his head at the outpost and his subsequent banishment. Whenever I thought of it my heart raced and I could feel a rush of adrenaline course through my veins.

After Maxon agreed to simply banishing Danse and refusing to acknowledge his existence any longer he still made sure I knew he would require my services as a soldier from time to time. Thankfully I mostly took up mercenary work or data gathering for the Brotherhood now. It made Danse's transition into civilian life a little easier, although he had pressed me for details on the two short missions I had accepted since his banishment.

"It's okay, you know." I whispered. "It's been weeks now. Maybe we could look somewhere to settle down so it will be more normal to not always be on edge like this?"

Danse spared a quick glance at me and though a small smile played on the edges of his mouth, his eyes were still full of sadness. He'd been displaced.

"What's wrong?"

He took his arm from around my shoulders and sat up so he could put his feet on the floor. He stared at the peeling paint on the wall and started into the argument we'd been having since moments after Maxon left, "Evelyn, I know you've insisted that you love me—"

"Can you really doubt that after this afternoon?" I asked cheekily while giving his butt a playful pinch.

He sat up straight and shot an irritated look at me that quelled my relaxed attitude, "There's a difference between love and lust, Evelyn. I just can't comprehend how it could ever be possible for you to love an abomination like myself."

We sat in silence. The storm raged outside which only made me feel antsier. I sat up rested my forhead against his shoulder.

"Maybe you should have just let Maxon kill me," he whispered.

I clenched my jaw at his words and jumped up from the bed. The thin blanket dropped to the littered ground. I stomped around the room naked, tripping over the worn out rug by the rickety old dresser where I'd put my clothes. I could feel his eyes on me the whole time, but I refused to look at him.

"I'm tired of having the same argument over and over, Danse. I'm going to go out and see if I can scavange any food at the Super Duper Mart or maybe find a kill a radstag doe so we have something to eat tonight."

All the pent up stress at his constant self-deprecation and the nagging he put me through to abandon him was bubbling over. Tears spilled down my cheeks, so I hesitated before I turned to look into his eyes. His broad, muscular shoulders drooped pathetically and his hair stuck out in every direction from being pulled on earlier. I wanted to hit him for all the emotional turmoil he had put me through over the last few weeks, instead I walked over to him rested my hands on his shoulders. He rested his face on my stomach.

"I'll know what your decision is soon enough, but please, if you decide to leave… Tell me first," I said dejectedly. "Don't make me wait long to know."

His shoulders seemed to droop even lower as I left. I looked back at the small yellow house and felt all the anxiety and tension I'd felt over the last three weeks bunch up in the pit of my stomach. I didn't want to leave, but he had to make the decision on what he was going to do. I needed to know if I'd lose yet another person I loved.

I was getting close to Concord by the time the sun started to set. I'd followed the cracked pavement this far while treading behind a lone doe. She hadn't been frightened off by me following her, so I had continued until the air started to get chilly. I had already skinned the carcass and was slicing the meat by the time I heard footsteps crunching in the dead leaves and foliage behind me.

All my time and training with Danse had taught me to never let my guard down when I was alone for any reason. I placed the dagger I'd been using on the ground next to the doe. I slowly reached for the pistol on my hip and began to stand up. It couldn't have been a raider sneaking up on me. They usually went into a battle with guns blazing. I cleared my throat and gripped my pistol. The scavver I imagined was behind me would be dead soon enough.

"Don't shoot. It's just me," I heard Danse's baritone voice. Shivers danced up my spine. My cheeks flushed from the nerves that bombarded me as the knot in my stomach exploded like a frag grenade. I turned to see him with his head down, staring at the ground.

It was still odd to not see him wearing his Power Armor. And although we'd spent much of our free time in bed together recently, it was even weirder seeing him out of his Brotherhood uniform. Instead of the bright orange uniform he wore the dusty T-shirt and jeans I had purchased for him in Diamond City a few days before on our way north.

I dropped my hand to my side and nervously shifted my weight from one foot to the other, "So, what have you decided?"

Danse's hands were clenched into tight fists. He took a deep breath and spread his fingers out before he, "It goes against everything in me, Evelyn, but I don't want to leave you. Ever."

My heart pounded, Is he actually going to stay? The corners of my mouth twitched, but I wouldn't let myself smile. I kicked the rocked at my feet and flinched at the sound of gunfire in the distance.

"You know I won't be able to give you a family," he said taking a step toward me and searching my face.

"After what happened with Shawn…" I trailed off. I looked at the unruly weeds and dead trees. The barren Commonwealth was stark before looking resolutely at him. "I don't want another family."

"I won't be able to grow old with you," tears glistened in his eyes.

I looked around. The road we were standing in was littered with broken down vehicles, animal carcasses, and withered plants, "Chances are I won't get to be old anyway."

Danse raised his eyebrows in shock before glaring at me, "Don't talk like that, Evelyn. I will protect you."

I stepped back and turned away from him. I knew Danse could protect me. That's what he did best. But I wasn't naïve enough to think he would always be there, especially when I was on missions for the Brotherhood.

I knelt back down in the road next to the body of the doe. I picked up the knife and started cutting the meat from the bone. I could feel the Paladin watching my every movement, but I didn't want to frustrate him any further, so I just continued with the busy work.

I jumped when Danse appeared at my side and gently removed the knife from my hand. He set it down and held my hand in his, "Evelyn, please."

I took my hand out of his and sat back in the dirt. I crossed my arms over my chest. His eyes lingered on my breasts before he licked his lips and looked in my eyes.

His eyes looked heavy, "Evelyn, I know I feel lust for you, but I want to see where it takes us. We've worked together for so long now—I know I respect you. I know I care for you deeply, but I want to know if that can become love."

"I know our relationship has moved quickly, but I know how I feel," I answered quietly. "I feel stronger for you than I did Nate—"

"That's one of the problems Evelyn!" He exclaimed. He smacked his lips together and looked away from me, "You haven't even been in the Commonwealth a year and you've already forgotten the feelings you had for your husband?"

"I haven't forgotten them," I growled. I sat up on my knees and jabbed my finger in the middle of his chest. "You don't get to dictate how I feel. You don't get to tell me how I get to process what's happened to me."

I stood up and grabbed the coolers I'd been putting the meat in off the ground, "I don't even care right now that this stupid doe is going to go to waste, Danse. I'm going to go back to that house so I can relax a while."

I started to walk away from him, both hands full. Tears were welling up in my eyes as I walked past a small hill past and an inoperable red Corvega. Why would I think he wanted to stay?

"Why does this conversation have to be so volatile with you?" he yelled at my back from where I left him.

I had only ignored him for a split second before I heard him jogging to catch up behind me. I dropped the coolers and turned with my fists raised, ready to punch him in the face, "Don't you dare—"

The wind was nearly knocked out of me as he rolled with me onto the ground. He raised himself onto his forearms and looked down at me from above. His eyes were piercing and he asked softly, "Do you mean it when you say you love me, Evelyn?"

I swallowed hard and nodded my head, "Yes."

His eyes seemed to peer into my soul. I could feel ten thousand butterflies swimming in my stomach as I realized he would be staying with me.

His lips were on mine in a split second. His hard mouth pressed against mind for a moment before he thrust his tongue into my mouth. I pushed back with my tongue and put my hand on his shoulder, pushing him back. He relented and moved onto his back pulling me on top of him. My hair created a dark curtain around us as we kissed.

"We're out in the open," I whispered against his lips, realizing what was going on. I looked around at the cracked roads, anticipating a caravan to suddenly materialize.

"Mhmm," he agreed, running his hands under my shirt and up my back. "Do you want to change that?"

He kissed my neck and pulled me close, but I pushed back at him, "The meat—"

As quickly as he started kissing me he stopped. He sat up and picked me up with ease. He set me next to him in the grass with a smile and quickly stood up, "Let's get back to that house then."

He grabbed my hand and pulled me up to standing. He handed me one of the rusty blue coolers laden with radstag meat and we set off for the tiny yellow house in the distance. After a few steps he laced his fingers in between mine and sidled closer to me. He released my hand and gave my butt a playful sqeeze.

"Ad victoriam."

That's it for this chapter! Thanks so much for reading! Don't forget that I'll be updating on (at least) a Mon-Wed-Fri schedule with other updates as I can. Have a great day!