Wayne was acting weird recently, much weirder than what Bernard had grown accustomed to. For the past few days his lover was hovering and flying around the mansion like a hyperactive humming bird in its constant search for flowers to suck the sweet energy dense nectar they need to survive.

In this case the object of Wayne's attention was Bernard. When the former museum archivist least expected it he would see a flash of mistletoe before having his personal space invaded long enough for Wayne to steal a kiss before disappearing again.

At first it was kind of cute and exciting, but now it was becoming annoying. He couldn't unwind, finish one of the household chores, or go one hour without Wayne forcing himself on him, which is why he was now pouting in one of the many bathrooms in Scott Manor: it's a confined space with only one way in and out and short of busting through the wall, floor or ceiling there is no way that Wayne is going to get the drop on him this time.

And Bernard had worked out a plan to turn the tables…

"Bernard, are you in the bathroom?" Came a voice and a knock at the door.

"No…" Bernard said too peeved to hold in his displeasure at the situation.

"Oh…come on. Won't you open the door and come out."

"NO!"

"Ahhh….why not?" Wayne whined like a six year old bemoaning his parent's refusal to buy him a new shiny toy that he wants.

"Because I can't go anywhere in this house without you deciding to tease and make out with me whenever you feel like it! That's why!"

"I only do it because I love you," Wayne said in response as he started making an exaggerated puckering sound. As much as Bernard loved Wayne sometimes he could be really pushy and oblivious to how his behavior made the people around him uncomfortable. "Pretty, please with sugar on top will you come out?"

"No," Bernard said resolutely trying to stick to the plan. It was hard not to give in when Wayne started to plead and beg, but this time he was going to stand his ground until he was ready to make his move.

"Pretty, please with sugar, chocolate fudge, gummy bears and sprinkles on top."

"No, no, no and no."

"You can't stay in there forever…"

Now he is getting testy…that means he's distracted. I just hope he isn't watching me with his x-ray vision.

"You wanna bet?" Bernard said with a raised eyebrow. "You may be super-strong and super-fast, but you're not super-patient."

"You sit in their long enough I might have to come in after you and put you in protective custody for your own safety."

"Is that a promise…? Because I would love to see you try…" To this the door knob started to turn and Bernard began to panic why didn't he lock the bathroom door! How could he have forgotten something as simple and important as that!

Acting on pure adrenaline and the heat of the moment Bernard took the shower wand in his hand, turned the water on full blast spraying Wayne in the face with ice cold water, taking him by surprise. Bernard already had his collar on and the chain connecting his to the now empty collar that he planned to lasso around Wayne.

While the jet of water had been a surprise it couldn't possibly hurt him so Wayne cautiously stepped toward Bernard which made it easier on him to make the throw. With a wicked, satisfied smile Bernard watched as the collar landed securely at the base of Wayne's neck before giving a firm tug on the metal chain connecting the two of them to each other.

Their lips made contact and Bernard took full advantage of the situation pushing his tongue into Wayne's mouth and exerting every ounce of strength and will power to keep him from pulling away. "Where do you think you're going! Who's playing…hard…to get…now?" he said trying to sound in control despite him being the one who is most out of breath as he forced another kiss filled with longing and passion.

"I'm not…playing…" Wayne started to say before he was cut off and his hands started to roam over Bernard's body one high and one low, ruffling Bernard's hair while the other caressed his body up and down until getting some leverage by lifting his lover's legs and rump off the ground. "I merely think we need a change of venue."

Bernard opened his eyes and looked around in confusion. He was thoroughly exhausted and unable to defend himself against what could be a reversal of positions. Now that Wayne had his bearings back he could take back control if he wanted to. However clever Bernard's plan he couldn't keep Wayne off balance forever. Judging by the furnishing Bernard would say they were in their bedroom.

Gently Wayne set Bernard down on his feet as the larger man positioned himself on his side on the bed. "Get over here," Wayne lustfully commanded holding a clipping of mistletoe above his head.

"Oh…I'll get you alright," he said in a low threatening purr, his face blushing heavily as much from lust as from the sight of that god forsaken mistletoe.

Something that popped into my head that I wrote for a friend who is a BIG Wayber shipper.

I'm not sure what Bernard wants more to shred the mistletoe or get back at Wayne for being a horny tease.