AN: Listen up guys, I've got myself into Lucifer and then I had an idea, the Lucifer - Clexa Crossover! The fanfic NOBODY asked about is here and is probably just going to be a one shot. This comes from the universal tv show rule that "if you want to make it better, you should make it gayer". I love the original characters Chloe and Lucifer so much that for a show so devoid of gayness it has most certainly got me hooked. I might have to change cannon Lexa a bit and insert some sense of humour in her, the devil has to be a smartass. So sit back, relax and enjoy the nonsense.
ps: I'd like to appologize Neil Gaiman for the appropriation and ruining of his version of Lucifer.
Queen Of Pain
"COSTIA" Lexa yells from the top of the stairs at her club, there's dancers in all pillars and they help the atmosfere. When she bought this place she wanted it to be inferno chic, Lexa thinks she managed it without using even a dash of red in the decor.
A beautiful woman looks up in her direction, she's beautiful. In an expensive looking red dress she was impossible to ignore, her wonderful afro hair, her poise, her charisma and her septum piercing made all the heads turn around.
"I heard you go by Lexa now." She's smiling and if there's someone capable of drawing a smile in Lexa is Costia. "Long time, no see." She will not come up the stairs, Lexa always goes to her no matter what situation.
"Yes, you know Lucifer doesn't really go down well with mortals in this country." She reaches in the bar for two flutes of champagne. "I assume you still have this."
"Well you know me, I will not lower my standards." Costia smiles warmly and they sit in a booth at the further end of the club.
"So what brings you here, it's been what? Three years?"
"Well, I was alone tonight and I realized I never really said thanks."
"Oh Costia, you know that if I really wanted to even our situation, I'd find you."
"You never called." There's an hint of sadness in her voice and Lexa hates it. Costia was always one of her favorite, doing her a favour was a pleasure. Usually her whole favor scheme works just as it does between humans she gives something they have no other way - or don't really want to go there - to attain and in return she basically owns them. It's always about power but not with Costia, she always had a weak spot for the ebony beauty in front of her.
"You know why, I couldn't share you with anyone else let alone with the world." Lexa smirks and takes a sip from her drink. Then more seriously while she looks away as if she was seizing and expelling invisible crums off her blazer. "I had to let you go, I was scared my father would mess with you too."
"He's still pissed about the extended vacation?" Costia moves closer to Lexa and puts her hand on the brunette's thigh.
Lexa exhales loudly and leans her hair on Costia's shoulder. "You have no idea. The old man won't let it go. You'd think someone with so much to do would care less about what I do with my life. Look at the mess this world is..."
"Oh baby, you know you were always His favorite..." Costia kisses her cheek. "And who could blame him?"
At the distance, Anya is watching the scene from the bar and judging. When will Lexa learn that being that close to mortals can only get them in trouble. She thought Lexa had listened to her the first time Costia was around but that bitch seemed to find her way back to Lexa like they were some sort of karmic lovers. She couldn't wait for this century to be over and this Costia person to be six feet under. That's the only good thing about mortals, their short expiration date. This was never an issue with old Lucifer, in her kingdom she could torture and punish the guilty and never have to worry about Lucif-Lexa, goddamn ridiculous name she choose, about Lexa's safety. Now she was stuck to a fucking club, serving drinks and making sure Lexa didn't piss off anyone too much otherwise heaven would fall on their heads.
"Lately, I've been feeling rather sad Lexa."
"I know, I've read it in the papers...what's going on?" The tabloids have been over and over how Costia was depressed or under some sort of drug addiction. Which was stupid, Costia would never touch anything addictive, she was too much of a control freak. So Lexa dismissed it as gossip as usual.
"No seriously, I've been thinking..."
"You mortals always think too much of stuff you shouldn't and not nearly enough of stuff you should." Lexa said asking Anya for another to cups only to see her roll her eyes as hard as she could. That must have hurt.
"Like when making deals with the Princess of hell?"
"Touché."
"I'm just being silly, I really should go."
"No, please, stay. It's so nice to see you Costia, you have no idea. Please, I won't mock you, tell me what's wrong."
"You know my last album?" Costia was a role model, activist, singer with a very acute political view that could rub off the wrong way in a lot of people. Particularly, lobbyists. We know what happens to people who threaten the way corporations make their cents.
"They call it "incendiary" I believe in Rolling Stone magazine." Of course Lexa, heard it, she watch, read, bought anything Costia the exact minute it came out. It drove Anya nuts.
"Well, what if I actually messed up with the wrong people? I have this impending doom feeling." She says has Lexa helps her put on her jacket.
"You are bff with The Devil, Costia. Just snap your fingers and I'll go running faster than Usain Bolt." She hugged Costia tight as they waited for her driver to meet them.
"Promise?"
"Are you doubting Lucifer's word?" Lexa smiled and leaned in for a kiss, one she had longed for and she allowed herself to enjoy it.
"Why don't we do that more often?" Costia asks her with her eyes still close when she pulls away.
"Because it would mean I'd have to take you back with me to hell once my vacay is over."
"I wouldn't mind being Princess of the damned."
"You are far too lovely for that." Lexa says and takes a step back as a black car approaches. "However we'll always play your album for the corrupt."
Costia smiled to her and Lexa couldn't wonder really why was she denying herself such pleasure. Her answer came in the form of bullets delivered through the black cars window and hitting Costia several times. She saw her body hit the floor before realising she was hit herself and rushing to the body on the floor.
This was why, humans die. Mortals. They are mortals. Costia wasn't breathing and her blood was getting all over her suit as she hugged her one last time.
"Miss Morningstar. Can I ask you some questions?"
Lexa heard a voice and felt the need to wipe the wetness of her face. Tears. She was crying, Anya will never stop teasing her about that. Lucifer, the demon who cried. How distasteful.
"Yes, of course." She focused now her attention on the person in front of her.
"I'm detective Clarke Griffin. Miss Morningstar I was informed you were with the victim during the shooting, is that correct?" The woman was serious, very attractive, this was Los Angeles after all. Even the cops look like they could be in the cover of Vogue.
"Yes, yes. Costia was a friend of mine." For the lack of a better term she would use friend to describe their relationship. "She owed me a favor" would be far to vacant to express what they were to each other.
"And, I'm sorry to ask you this, did you notice anything particular about the shooter? Something that can give us any additional information."
"It came in a black car, we thought it was her chauffer, he rolled the window and he had an expensive watch."
"What type of watch?" Detective Griffin was piercing her with her blue eyes and Lexa found them slightly intimidating because she was the princess of darkness it should be the other way around.
"I don't really know but I'll recognize it if I see it again."
"Thank you so much, you have been very helpful. Can you just state your full name and profession, I don't want to bother you but I really have to write the report." Clarke shrugs.
"Yes, of course. I'm Lucifer, Lexa, Morning star. I'm the owner of the club Lux." She sees Clarke raise her eyebrow to her whole name. She makes a mental note to use it as an example to make Anya stop messing her about her new name.
"Thank you, again, we'll be in touch Miss Morningstar." Clarke extends a hand for Lexa to shake.
"Detective, please. If there's anything I can do to help who did this, please do tell. I'd like the guilty for this hideous crime to be punished."
"LAPD will do everything in their power, I promise you we'll find who did it." They're hands were still locked.
"Tell me, Detective Clarke Griffin what is it that you most desire in this world?" Lexa wanted to know so she could offer a deal to the good detective. She wanted to punish who ever did this with all the options on her hellish menu. Nothing better than knowing what she could trade with, that's her real skill in this world, humans ALWAYS told her what they wanted.
"To...catch who did this... Miss Morningstar, you are hurting my hand." Clarke said furrowing her browns and gesturing with her head to their joined hands. What do you mean? It's not working on her?
"I'm sorry. I'm quite disturbed, it's been a long night." Lexa dumbfounded let's go of Clarke's hand.
"Go get some rest, Luc-Lexa. You might look like you need it." Clarke looks freaked out and not for good reasons, Lexa looks in the mirror of a car to sea if her inner demonish self is showing and it's not. So does that mean she...Clarke is imune to her? Nonsense. It was probably the long night, she'll try again tomorrow.
"You finished with Morningstar?" Raven asks her as she finishes doing the first evaluation of the body on the floor. CSI Raven Reyes as Clarke calls her when she wants to get on her nerves.
"What a wierdo!" She crouches next to Raven pretending to see anything, Raven was always the one for forensics no wonder she was the best in the county.
"A hot looking wierdo, should be illegal for a woman to look that good on a suit." Raven says taking her eyes of the corpse and staring at Lexa who was scratching her head and adjusting her head in the mirror.
"I'm sure she is well aware of that."
"What? Like you wouldn't tap that?" Raven huffs resuming her examination.
"She introduced herself as Lucifer Morningstar. What a douche?"
"As in Satan, ruler of all that is evil?"
"Yes, but she'll answer to Lexa as well."
"What? No sympathy for the devil, Clarke Griffin. You are pretty pathetic yourself!"
"PATHETIC?"
"Yes, we both are actually. There's no bigger proof that our social life is in ruins is that we need a case to come to Lux!"
"She would not let go of my hand!" Clarke said standing up.
"Maybe she liked what she saw. I'm done here." Raven winks at her and shouts to the guys by the ambulance. "You can take her to the morgue, boys!"
"Besides she asked me what I most desired, she doesn't even know me, I thought it was really unprofessional." Clarke thinks she is making a real good point.
"That, or she really IS the devil."
"Oh c'mon, not you too, Raven. Let's get out of here."