Gluttony's Two True Loves
This story takes place on the homunculi's day off of tormenting the world.
One sunny day in Central, the homunculi had their annual day off from terrorizing the world. They hadn't done anything yet because they were debating about what they would do for the day.
Lust was arguing about going to a spa with Sloth, who wanted to rent a hotel. Greed had threatened Wrath if he continued listing the list the benefits of going to a candy store over robbing a bank. Envy had started a fist fight with Pride about what they wanted to do (Envy wanted to go to a women's department store while Pride wanted to adopt puppies). Gluttony, who had not joined in any of the arguments, was watching his comrades while eating the gang's supply of sweets.
Gluttony was watching very closely to all of them, especially Lust, and noticed most everything. Greed and Envy had heard Lust say how bad men looked without makeup and headed over to dispute while Sloth, who had clearly had enough of Wrath, was choking him with her water abilities. Pride soon went over to stop the violence when Wrath had started to gag. Gluttony just came back with popcorn opened his mouth in a huge yawn. He sat down in his little corner and started eating…again.
When Gluttony was finished with his popcorn he soon got bored with nothing to eat, and fell asleep. When Gluttony awoke after hours of beginning his slumber, he found his companions lying on the ground with knives impaled in all of them. He got up and walked over to the blood soaked ground. He guessed that the fight was caused by Sloth who, had the most knives impaled in her. Gluttony knew that he would be lonely without them, especially Lust, so he went to get some band aids.
He came back with dozens of bandages lodged in his mouth and began to work on his buddies (yes of course starting with Lust). After about an hour later all the rest of the homunculi stirred from their unconsciousness and saw that there was not much time left of their waning day.
The nonhumans were still not able to come to an agreement, even with five minutes of arguing with bad words. Gluttony thought he had a great idea and spoke up,
"Why don't we go to a Japanese steak house?" the other homunculi thought for a few moments (Gluttony passed the time eating drumsticks) before Pride spoke for them all
"Sure, I could go for some fried rice" and the others nodded cheerfully.
X X X
The homunculi arrived at their destination before the sun had set. They decided that they were going to eat at the Armstrong Family Line of Culinary Arts Japanese Steakhouse as they heard it had marvelous food. They all walked inside and were waiting to be seated. Wrath started to cry because he was hungry and they all soon got annoyed when Sloth refused to comfort him. Then at last their table was ready for them. They were seated in a corner next to the window and they were also short in booth space so Wrath had to sit on the floor, which made him cry again. Wrath actually shut up when their waiter came and to their surprise, it was Armstrong (yes, homunculi are idiots).
"Welcome to the Armstrong Family Line of Culinary Arts Japanese Steakhouse!!! May I start you off with some drinks? Oh, Führer I didn't recognize you without your uniform. Who are the rest of your friends?"
The other six homunculi quickly went pale, but Pride or King Bradley reassured them. "Oh them, they're old friends from the far north. They are staying with me for a few days and then heading back."
"Well, I'll have an iced tea." said Lust, moving on quickly.
"Same for me." said Pride.
"I'll have a diet cola… trying to watch my figure." Envy said.
"I'll have a martini and he'll have a beer." Sloth said for herself and Greed.
Wrath, before answering consulted with Sloth first then said cheerfully "Chocolate milk for me!"
Last but certainly not least Gluttony was up. "I'll have some Miso Soup."
Armstrong had finished writing down the first six orders and turned to Gluttony "I'm sorry but I'm taking drink orders now. So, what will you have?"
This time Lust spoke for Gluttony "Oh he loves Miso Soup, so can you pour some in a glass? Please."
Armstrong nodded and then walked off. The seven homunculi started a conversation about how pickle juice and cows don't mix, but Gluttony just talked about how much he loved Lust. Armstrong swiftly came back and stood at by the table not wanting to interrupt their conversation, though Greed did it for him.
"Thanks man, you were fast. C'mon pass the drinks around." As Greed said that Armstrong did as he was told. Greed was the first to receive the drinks and then passed them around.
"Now, what would you like to eat?" Armstrong asked.
The seven homunculi placed their orders. Lust ordered sushi rolls, while Pride and Envy both ordered sesame chicken with fried rice and Sloth ordered calamari (Wrath wanted some, but when he found out what it was, changed his mind and ordered udon noodles). Greed asked for grilled fish and pointed to Gluttony to end the orders.
"I'll have some more miso soup, with a side of miso soup." Gluttony said.
"Manners Gluttony, manners" corrected Sloth.
"Please" Gluttony said politely.
"Oh I'd also like some miso soup, if you don't mind dear waiter." Greed requested.
"Very well, your…" Armstrong began but was interrupted by Gluttony. "Don't give him the miso soup. Don't give it to him!!!"
Armstrong had a quizzical look engraved on his face, but he spoke "Here at the Armstrong Family Line of Culinary Arts Japanese Steakhouse we are not allowed to ignore a customer's request. I must say that I am sorry that I must give him the miso soup." Armstrong left without noticing Gluttony sticking his tongue out at him.
To pass the time while waiting for their food to come, the homunculi argued about how hot dogs were made. The whole debate grossed Lust out, but fascinated Wrath. All the while Gluttony pouted because Greed ordered miso soup.
When Armstrong came back, the hungry homunculi eagerly accepted their food. The last ones to be served were Greed and Gluttony. Armstrong handed Greed his fish and miso soup, which Gluttony tried to grab. Armstrong then handed Gluttony a huge bowl of miso soup. Without thanking Armstrong, he started slurping it up. The slurping caused the other people to stare at them in disgust. The rest of the homunculi ate their meals in utter silence compared to Gluttony. Later, Armstrong came back to check in with them.
"How is everything here?" he asked.
"More please." Gluttony stated, showing Armstrong his empty bowl.
"Okay…well you see we only have enough miso soup to last us through the night…so I must say that I'm sorry that I can't grant you your request." Armstrong said firmly.
Gluttony stared at him in dismay, but then he turned to Greed.
"Then if you won't give me some, can I have his?" Gluttony asked Armstrong, completely ignoring Gluttony's rude remark of threatening to punch him.
"Well ask him for yourself." Armstrong replied.
Gluttony turned to Greed. He put a pretty face on and started batting his eyes at Greed, who thought the whole thing was disturbing.
"Greed may I please have your miso soup???"
"No!!!" greed stated putting his head up, as he thought it was an accomplishment.
Gluttony was not happy at all. He looked at everyone at the table and then at Armstrong.
"Where's my miso soup???" Gluttony bellowed, disrupting the whole restaurant. He got up from the table and crawled on the booth to get out (he crushed Wrath in the process). Gluttony headed out for the kitchen in a run. The others couldn't see what was going on in the kitchen, but they sure heard. There were pots and pans clunking, people screaming, food spilling, and the last sound they heard was a giant clunk.
"Oh no! He's got the supply of miso soup. I must go stop him." Armstrong said as he ran off.
The other six waited a while and then they saw Gluttony slowly run out carrying the big pot with Armstrong shortly behind him.
"No, it's my soup now!!!" Gluttony said while laughing.
"Sir…sir please come back here and hand me the soup." Armstrong said, while ripping his shirt off (revealing thousands of pink sparkles).
"Never!!!" Gluttony said and started to gulp down the soup.
X X X
Pride, Envy, Greed, Lust, Sloth, and Wrath were all heading home with Gluttony in tow. He ate so much of the miso soup he became unconscious so the others had to drag him home. They were sure never to do that again.