"I don't know if I should dress up," Piper was saying doubtfully to her laptop.

The Gwen on the screen frowned. "It's a date. You should dress up."

"Yeah, but… he already knows what I look like when I'm not made up. I don't wanna, like, false advertise or anything."

Gwen rolled her eyes. "Piper, I can guarantee, Tony will be dressed to the nines." She sipped her tea. "That's what people on dates do. Do you want me to come over?"

"Is that my Stark Industries mug?" Piper squinted.

"Nope."

"I can see the logo. Here you are, lecturing me about being fancy, when thou hast stolen my mug."

"Didn't you steal the mug first?"

"No. Bruce handed it to me one day and I just… didn't let go of it. Until I got home."

"You can't fight crime when you yourself are crime."

"I'm borrowing it. I'll give it back, I just don't know when."

Gwen smirked. "Look, I have work to do. Really important work, which I should be complaining about to you."

"Sorry, G."

"Wear something fancy and tell me all about your escapades later. Even the dirty ones."

"There will be no dirty ones –"

"Please. Break a leg."

The place might have been a bit too fancy, now that he thought about it.

Not that they looked out of place; but it was different to just sitting in the lab, eating ice cream and cracking jokes. Everyone else was making quiet conversation at their tables, either business or pleasure. It suddenly felt very strict.

Piper blinked at the menu.

"What's wrong? Can't see?" He thought about adjusting the candles.

"No, nothing – I thought it said fifty bucks for a pizza."

"That's… yeah, it does say that."

Piper blinked again, her eyes wide.

"Don't worry about, order whatever you want," Tony shrugged, tugging at his collar. This was weird. It felt weird. Even when he had picked her up, they had just sat in the car, making weird small talk and being weird. Happy had dropped them off and promised to return the second Tony needed him. Hopefully that wasn't soon.

"No way," Piper frowned at the menu. She hadn't looked at him much. He drummed his fingers nervously on the table.

"Why, because I can't afford it?" Tony said with a straight face.

Piper wrinkled her nose. "I don't like the idea of using you for your money."

"Don't even worry about it. Pepper used to do it all the time." Crap. Don't talk about exes.

Tony knew he had a very reliable poker face, but Piper seemed to read some of his panic. She smirked. "You don't have to, like, cut her out of our conversations."

"It's not taboo, mentioning ex girlfriends?"

"I think, like, only if you're talking about how awful they were."

"Oh, well, she was pretty much perfect, so." Crap. What was wrong with him?

Piper nodded at the breadsticks. "Well, that's... um, lucky."

"I mean, not perfect," Tony shrugged, mentally kicking himself. "Or…" He cleared his throat. "Sorry, I haven't been on a proper date in, like… a long time. How about you?"

"I've never dated anyone," Piper blurted, shrugging back. "I literally – like you could take me to a storm drain and it would still be in like the top three dates I've ever…" Her cheeks were pink. "I just meant, like, no pressure," she said as amiably as she could.

"Totally." Tony glanced at his watch. They had been at the table for less than five minutes. "Do you want to get a drink?"

"Yes, oh my God, I don't know what's going on with the awkward vibe right now," Piper said helplessly.

"No, it's me, I don't – this works better when we're not –"

"In a fancy restaurant," Piper nodded and Tony nodded back. "I feel like I'm back in school."

"Drinks and we leave?"

"And more breadsticks," she said.

"Bring on the breadsticks. Let's make this date our bitch." He lifted his hand for a high-five, and Piper responded enthusiastically as the waiter came over to take their order.

One scotch on the rocks and a Paloma later, Tony realised that, despite his generous tip, someone had notified the press.

"Okay," he said, ducking down by the window, "good news, we get to leave even earlier than we expected. Don't you have some kind of spider sense that's meant to tip us off if bad things are about to happen?"

"I think it's like actual danger and not people with cameras," Piper said defensively, crouched on the floor. The waiters were staring at them and it was making him laugh. "Of which I am one."

"Thank you for putting this date before your craft. Let's bail."

"Cheque please!" Piper called to a nearby waiter, and it was so ridiculous that he started laughing again.

"We're nailing this!" Piper said as they slipped out onto a paparazzi free alley.

"I know! We're awesome! Piper. Piper, high-five me. You're not paying attention."

"You're so needy," Piper teased and he frowned, threading his fingers through hers.

"I'm not needy," he said firmly. "Now tell me I'm pretty."

Piper snorted.

"Hey, can I be honest with you?" she asked.

"It depends," Tony said. "Does it have to do with me being the worst?"

"It does not," Piper said vehemently, "and you weren't the worst, you were –"

"Oh, really?" He cleared his throat, before screeching. "Tony, you're the worst and now I don't want to join your stupid superhero circle-jerk –"

Piper laughed, burying her face in her hands (and, because she hadn't let go, one of his hands). "Je-sus. I'm so sorry."

"What are you talking about? It was amazing. You should yell more, it's very becoming. I'm probably too into it, if I'm being honest – hey," he stopped, gently tugging her to a halt on the sidewalk. "Okay, I'm sorry. You were trying to be honest. Let's rewind."

"What I was going to say," Piper stressed, peeking through her hands (and his hand), "before I was so rudely interrupted –"

"Further proof that I am the worst."

"I swear to God –"

"Are you cold?" he asked, using his free hand to take his scarf off and attempt to drape it around her neck. "Your face feels cold. I can't believe I took you out when it's so cold –"

"Tony," Piper was laughing and he brightened. She still hadn't let go of his hand. "I'm fine. I don't know if you know this, but I'm actually part of a super secret superhero team and I can totally hold my own –"

He gasped. "Oh my God, Thor?"

"Tony."

"Okay, okay, I'm sorry, I am all ears. Starting now."

"Remember, like, five million years ago when we were talking about this date being awkward?"

"Like it was yesterday."

"Well, I like it when you're a bit awkward," Piper admitted. "It's sweet. Honest. Plus, I don't think I could handle you all – smooth and – suave or – dashing."

He laughed. "Dashing?"

She nodded solemnly. "I'm sorry to tell you, but you're dashing. Unreasonably so."

She lightly kissed his fingertips and he felt electric. His free hand was hanging limply by his side. He couldn't think of one smooth or suave or dashing thing to say, and he wanted to stand in that creepy disgusting alleyway, in the freezing cold, holding her hand until the next century rolled around, and then maybe even a little after that.

"Is this date our bitch yet, or what?" Piper beamed.

"Let's get out of the creepy alley and find out," he replied.

"It is creepy," Piper conceded. "But don't worry, I'll protect you. Thor's got your back."

She kept one hand entwined with his and the other buried deeply in her jacket pocket as they made their way back to the sidewalk. She was worried she might use it to do something stupid, like pet his hair, or use the scarf to lasso him as close to her face as possible.

"Where do you wanna go?" she asked, desperate to distract herself from her wants and needs. The alleyway had been deserted and intimate; out here, with people and cars and sounds, she felt like maybe she had a fighting chance of not embarrassing herself just yet.

"I'm thinking Venice."

"Right now?"

"You got something else to do?"

Piper laughed. "Maybe on the second date," she proffered.

"So, there's a second date," Tony said casually.

"If that's cool," Piper tried to shrug nonchalantly.

"Yeah," he shrugged back. "I mean, yeah." She could see he was trying not to smile, and he was failing. "We could go back to the Tower?" he said. "Work on whatever you want."

Piper thought. "Will Bruce be there?" she asked, her stomach writhing.

Tony smirked knowingly. "Sure," he said, squeezing her fingers. "I'm not trying to trick you. When I say 'work',I mean work. Not desperately making out while Bruce is looking the other way."

Piper thought again, frowning. "Well, now I'm not interested," she sighed.

Tony grinned, using his free hand to gently pull her closer. "Hey, if you play your cards right, you never know," he said, and he was so close that she felt her toes curl in her boots. "You might get lucky."

Piper hummed. Her nose brushed against his, making her toes curl all over again. She could smell his cologne, could count each of his eyelashes if she wanted to. At this moment, he felt like her whole world. Planet Tony.

Nervous that she was making too much eye contact, she looked lower, her heart beating in her chest at double time. Her traitorous free hand had somehow casually meandered out of her jacket pocket when Piper had been looking the other way and had now snaked its way into Tony's coat, resting innocently on his chest. Who, me? I don't know how I got here. What a wild coincidence.

The other people were starting to matter less. Pretty soon, they wouldn't even be a problem. Danger, Will Robinson.

She took her hand away, biting her lip as she took a step back. He squeezed her fingers but didn't say anything.

"Venice, huh? I got the next best thing," she said.

That was how they wound up in a pizza place five blocks from her apartment. It was small, loud and dimly lit; they'd had to walk down a flight of stairs to get to it.

"This is the best pizza I've ever had in my life and why have I never known about this place until now?" Tony demanded through a mouthful of pepperoni.

"It's the best kept secret in New York," Piper grinned triumphantly. She didn't want to rub it in, especially since six separate people had already approached her date and asked for his autograph. Tony had graciously given it to them, using the napkins from the dispenser on their little table. The tablecloth was plastic, red and white checked; the candle was battery operated. She wondered if Tony was just pretending to like this place, wondered how she had even had the balls to bring him here in the first place. The tequila, she thought, her stomach squirming.

Another bystander approached, quietly asking Tony for his autograph. He nodded, asked if they had anything they wanted him to sign, and looked happy enough to scribble on a torn business card. Piper apologetically nudged a foot against his calf under the table (so daring, she thought).

"It didn't even occur to me," she said as the man left, hurriedly stuffing the card in his pocket, "that people would do this. Sorry."

"Oh, these guys are nothing," Tony said. "You chose wisely."

"It's not too small?" she asked, glancing around. The hair on her arms stood up. His left knee was touching her right one under the table. This restaurant was criminally intimate, and crammed with people. She loved and hated it at the same time.

"I think it's just right," Tony said nonchalantly. Her legs felt warm and her stomach seemed to be filled with helium balloons. She knew she was smiling like an idiot, like a stupid, inexperienced idiot who was practically breathless after her date had brushed his knee against hers. She cleared her throat.

"So, on a scale of one to Venice, how good is this place?"

"Oh, totally beats Venice. Now I have to think of someplace way better to take you on the second date."

He had to take her home after pizza because May had begrudgingly agreed that her niece could stay out until ten, even though Piper was still technically grounded because of the whole superhero thing.

They decided to walk. She liked that Tony could keep the conversation going easily enough, and she liked that he seemed to think every moment he wasn't holding her hand was a moment wasted.

She didn't immediately realize that they were out the front of her apartment building, and she would have kept walking and talking if Tony hadn't stopped.

She froze. Was he supposed to kiss her? Was she supposed to kiss him? That was like the agreed rule of first dates, right?

It's not even a big deal, she tried to tell herself. I've kissed him before.

"So, this is your stop," Tony was saying. The way he looked at her made her cheeks turn pink.

"So it is." She squeezed his hand before reluctantly letting go, tucking her hair behind her ears. "Thank you."

"I had a really nice time tonight."

Piper smiled. "Me too," she said, her heart jumping. She was just waiting for him to say but…

"Hey, Piper?" He was smirking like there was some kind of joke she wasn't aware of yet, and it was making her nervous.

"Hm?" It hit her. "Your scarf," Piper said hastily, unwrapping it from around her neck. "I totally forgot."

"That's not –"

"Here." She held it out to him, but he ignored it, eyes gleaming. He took a step towards her, into her personal bubble, and she waited.

"You really had a good time?" he checked. She could see the worry lurking in the lines of his forehead. She nodded.

"I didn't, I don't know, make you feel like yelling at me again?" he asked, only half-joking.

Piper rolled her eyes, looping the scarf around his neck and stepping as close to him as she could get. "Not even a little bit. I think we did pretty well."

Her neck was cold without the scarf, and her nose was cold too. She wanted to huddle into his coat with him, and get warm. He raised his hand and his thumb brushed against her cheek. She shivered.

"Y'know, I've spent the whole night trying to figure out when would be the best time to kiss you."

"Probably now," Piper said helpfully.

"Thank God," he said with feeling and she grinned, burying her face into his shoulder. He checked his watch. "Think your aunt will kill you if you're ten minutes late?"

Yes, Piper thought, but boy, is it worth it. "Make it five, and you got yourself a deal," she said.