It was a hot summer afternoon at the Hill house. School just ended a few days ago and Bobby Hill was outside playing with the dog, Ladybird. "Bobby?" called Hank Hill, Bobby's father, "Where are you?" Hank walked into the backyard and saw sitting his son with sitting in front of Ladybird with his back to him. "Whatcha doing there boy? You want to play some football or help your old man on the truck?" Hank asked walking over.
"Hey dad!" Bobby turned to face his father" "Bwaah! Bobby, what did you do to Ladybird?" Hank shouted in angry and horror, his face turning red. There sat Ladybird looking sadder than normal. She was wearing makeup that made her look like a some cheap floozy, who was an extra in a low budget porno flick the kind where everyone gets tested even the camera man. "I needed someone to practice kissing with and Connie was too busy. Her mom said she was helping her dad take the old one eye to the optometrist, whatever that is." Bobby explained.
"That is it!" roared Hank grabbing Bobby's arm and lifting him up. "I am so god dang tired of your asinine ways, boy! It is time I teach you a lesson you will never forget." "But dad" Bobby started as Hank dragged him into the house. "No buts, Bobby. I am going to make you into a man the only way I know how, and that is final. I should have done this a long time ago." Hank pulling his son into the garage.
Bobby always was scared of the garage. It is dark and it stinks of exhaust. Sometimes he could hear his dad in here muttering to himself over the sound of the power tools. All the grinding, and sawing, and screeching, and clanking at all hours of the night, it would drive him mad. And now here with his dad he was terrified. His father closed the door behind him and locked it. He then looked at his only son expressionlessly, his eyes hidden in the shadows. "You aren't right boy, but I am here to put you right. You done playing those little girl games. It is time that you learn what I do in here."
Hank walked over to the workbench and beckoned to Bobby, who slowly walked over. His dad picked up some tools off the bench and put them on hooks that hung above it. To Bobby's surprised the workbench and the floor beneath it slid into the wall behind it, revealing a long staircase leading down into the dark abyss. "You first Bobby" Hank sternly " Lets go. Your manhood awaits". Bobby cautiously walked down the unlit metal stairs feeling his way in the darkness, his hands reaching out to cold metal walls. Slowly his eyes adjusted to the dark, there he saw a short hallway leading to a metal door with a wheel for a knob like you would see on a ship. Bobby felt the terror building up inside of him as he walked towards the door. His mind was racing. When did his dad make this? Did his mom know? What was going to happen once he was on the other side of that door?
"Open it Bobby" said Hank walking down the stairs behind him. His boots trumping against the cold hard floor. Bobby went to the door and firm grasped the wheel, turning it slowly. The door made a soft squeak as it open, slowly revealing the room inside. The light from the room blinded Bobby for a second. He felt his dad walk past him into the room. As his eyes adjusted he saw he was in a large brightly lit white room with a high ceiling. There were several black desks facing a wooden wall with a massive TV screen on it that was to his right. In front of him on the opposite wall was a large computer with multiple screens and flashing lights and multiple colored buttons. At the back of the room, which was to his left, stairs climbed up a balcony with lightly tinted windows. Above that was a large bronze circle with a chest of hand, claw and wing holding each other unison. Hank walked into the center and stretched his arms out. "Welcome Bobby to the last line defense for freedom, justice, propane and propane accessories on Earth. This is the Honorable Arlen's Research and Development with Outgoing Neighbors".