"Come on, it's not that bad."
Erin buried her face in her hands and let out an exasperated groan, "I know, I know. I just had an idea in my head about what my life was going to look like once I hit a certain age. I thought I'd be tenured at Columbia, have my own place, own a summer house in the Hamptons, have some semblance of a love life…"
"Well you've got me," Abby reminded her with a smile. "And I'm sure Kevin wouldn't mind talking to you if you could just turn down the sweating and inappropriate sexual comments."
Erin lifted her head at the sound of Kevin's name and glanced towards his desk. He was engrossed in an attempt to build a house of cards out of coloured post-its. The pair watched as he carefully peeled a single post it from the deck and placed it on top of the four he'd already managed to stack, but not before it stuck to his finger and sent the others toppling over.
Abby shook her head and turned away, too pained by the thought of watching any more. Those post-its weren't cheap.
"We really need to start giving him tasks to do," she muttered under her breath.
"Can it be something that requires him to take his shirt off?" Erin pleaded and bit her lip with her eyes still glued to Kevin.
"You're a lawsuit waiting to happen."
The door to the refurbished fire station swung open and Holtzmann strutted in, giving Kevin a nod as she passed by his desk and sending his post-it note tower crashing to pieces.
"I come bearing gifts!" she announced and placed the paper bag in her hand atop the work bench.
With a teasing waggle of her eyebrows, she reached slowly into the bag and made a show of fishing around before pulling out a wax paper wrapped deli sandwich. She handed it off to Abby with a flourish of her hands and then reached into the bag again. She slowly pulled out a second deli sandwich and proceeded to do a little dance with it before giving Erin a saucy wink and tossing it to Kevin. He caught it one-handed and replied with a hearty, "Thanks!"
"Is there one in there for me?" Erin went up on her tip toes to try and peek into the bag but Holtzmann pulled it back.
"Maybe."
"Maybe?" Erin repeated.
"Maybe I just gave yours to Kevin." Holtzmann grinned as she looked over at their dim-witted but loveable secretary happily chowing down on his fresh deli sandwich. Erin's eyes lingered and she swallowed hard. After a long moment of awkwardly watching him eat she managed to pry her gaze away.
"Sorry," she muttered as her cheeks flushed pink. "Low blood sugar."
"I've got something that'll fix you right up!"
Holtzmann reached into the bag a third time and feigned a look of concentration as she fished around. As her hands left the bag she began to sing as though the light from heaven itself were shining down upon Erin's sandwich. Only, it wasn't a sandwich. Held carefully between Holtzmann's hands, wrapped in an inconspicuous sheet of brown butcher paper, was the best grilled cheese sandwich in all of New York. The New York Times had written an entire full page article about it. There were three hour line ups just to get a chance at a table, and the take out counter was no better. It was some seriously good grilled cheese and it was all hers.
Erin's mouth dropped open as she stared at the best birthday gift anyone could have given her, especially today. The most amazing, mouth watering, grilled cheese sandwich ever created.
"Holy shit! You went all the way to The Flip Side?" Abby exclaimed, her half-eaten sandwich now forgotten in her hands. "Wait – is there a grilled cheese in there for me?"
Holtzmann cringed and gave an apologetic shrug, "Birthday girl special." When Abby's expression soured in disappointment she mouthed a silent "Sorry".
"Holtz, you went all the way there just for me?"
The eccentric inventor looked suddenly nervous and shrugged as she held the neatly wrapped grilled cheese sandwich across the table.
"It's your birthday so…" her words trailed off and her cheeks turned the lightest shade of pink as Erin accepted the gift from her.
"Thank you," she said sincerely and pressed the sandwich over her heart. "Really, thank you. It smells so good I think I might cry."
"It's their nine cheese special," Holtzmann informed her with a grin and a swagger. "They call it Heart Attack on a Plate."
Erin made a worried face, "That's…unsettling."
"Well if it kills you and you come back a ghost, I give you permission to haunt me."
A smile pulled at Erin's lips at Holtzmann's joke and it grew even wider as she finished unwrapping the sandwich in front of her. Hidden within the plain brown wrapping was a perfectly toasted golden exterior that glistened with melted butter in the overhead lights.
"It's beautiful!" Erin gasped and took a minute to admire its perfection before picking up a slice. "I can literally feel the grease creating a barrier between my fingers and the bread!"
Holtzmann grinned wide and danced to some unknown tune as she pulled a plain deli sandwich for herself out of the bag. She gave a look to the final sandwich sitting at the bottom of the back and then did a quick glance around the shop.
"Where's Patty?"
"She's not back from her uncle's place yet," Abby answered. "We really need to work on getting some actual paying gigs so we can afford a new car. Patty's been pulling shifts there every weekend to try and make up for the one that got sucked into the ghost vortex and blown up by a nuclear reactor."
Holtzmann grinned wide and chuckled, "That was awesome."
"I don't know if 'awesome' is the word I'd use-"
"Oh my god! You guys!" Erin's stool screeched across the floor as she abruptly jumped to her feet with her grilled cheese in one hand and her other waving excitedly in the air. "This is the best thing I've ever put in my mouth!"
"Really?" Holtzmann quipped with a salacious lift of her eyebrow.
Erin took another bite of her grilled cheese and closed her eyes in ecstasy. Holtzmann leaned forward with her chin propped on her hand, transfixed by the multitude of expressions that crossed her face as she ate.
"It's like an orgasm is happening in my mouth!" Erin exclaimed deliriously between bites. "A delicious, cheese-induced orgasm!"
Holtzmann grinned, "Tell me more."
Uttering an audible groan Erin took another bite and closed her eyes to enjoy it, "This might be the most amazing thing I've eaten in my entire life."
"Okay, I'm just going to stop you right there," Abby cut in. "My mom's double chocolate raspberry cream cake is the most amazing thing you've ever eaten."
Erin nodded and held up her hand. "No, you're right. That's true. One of these days I will steal that recipe and market it for a million dollars."
"You've been saying that since junior high," Abby scoffed.
"I'm serious!"
"Sounds intriguing," Holtzmann countered.
Having finally found the willpower to contain herself, Erin resumed her seat and finished the last two bites of her sandwich.
"Holtz, that was… Wow, thank you. I really needed that today."
The inventor grinned and jumped up from the workbench.
"But the fun doesn't stop there!" she announced, imitating a retro TV infomercial. "If you'll follow me over to this area of my workshop, you may find there's more birthday fun to be had."
Erin sent Abby an inquiring look, but she responded with a shrug and a shake of her head.
"Come on!" Holtzmann urged, and began dancing her way to her workshop.
"Do you ever wonder what song she's dancing to?" Erin whispered.
"All the time," Abby replied.
With an amused smile, Erin followed Holtzmann's lead to her workshop. Sitting atop her table were three similarly sized cardboard boxes. Holtzmann's hand gave a Vanna White style flourish in front of each.
"Ladies and gentlemen! Today's lucky contestant is Erin Gilbert - Princeton alum, bad-ass Ghostbuster, and owner of the world's smallest bowtie."
Erin rolled her eyes but couldn't stop the grin from spreading across her face as Holtzmann continued to ham it up.
"Is her prize behind door number one, number two, or door number three? Which door will she choose?"
Erin reached out her hand and then quickly pulled it back, "What happens if I choose the wrong one?"
Holtzmann casually leaned on her elbow against one of her other work tables, "Well, I rigged the other two boxes with an electric current so you'll get a small shock."
Erin's hands lowered to her sides. She'd seen too many of Holtzmann's experiments to know better, "How small is small?"
The inventor lifted her shoulders in a haphazard shrug, "100 volts?"
"100 volts?!"
"I'm just kidding," she laughed. "It's really more like 50. It'll be fine. You'll hardly feel it."
Erin's look of consternation remained as she stepped towards the three boxes. She gave each a hard look before slowly reaching out towards the third box. Her fingers were mere inches from grabbing it when Holtzmann gave a sudden shout.
"NO!"
Erin screamed and jumped back, her hands instinctively going up in the air.
Holtzmann chuckled at the terrified expression on Erin's face. "Sorry…sorry," she said, trying to catch her breath. "I couldn't help myself."
Seeing Erin's furrowed brow she counselled her features a moment and nodded at the boxes once more, "No , really. It's fine, I promise."
Erin stepped forward again, her eyes darting between Holtzmann's eager expression and the three boxes atop the table. She reached for the third one again, pausing to give Holtzmann an inquiring look before she touched it. At her nod, she lifted the box into the air only to find an empty table underneath.
Holtzmann gave a game show losing "womp woooomp" and Erin went for the next box. Box number two was also empty and she set it aside, fixing her sights on the last box. She lifted the lid off to find a red Swiss Army knife sitting atop the table. She gave Holtzmann an uncertain look as she set the box aside.
"Thank you… But didn't you already give me one of these?"
Holtzmann's eyes lit up the way they did before she would excitedly tell them about all the new improvements she'd made to their ghost fighting equipment.
"That might look like an ordinary Swiss Army knife, but if you look a little closer…"
She moved in and picked up the knife from the table. Holding it up, she ran her finger along the silver edge until it reached a small ridge.
"See this button?"
Erin nodded, her eyes darting between Holtzmann's bright blue eyes and the knife.
"Press this in a ghost emergency and you have yourself a miniature, time-delayed, reverse polarity vortex creator."
"Bullshit," Erin blurted out, her eyes going wide. "How is this even possible?"
Holtzmann grinned and handed the knife over to her, "Happy birthday."
Erin stared down at the impressive, pocket-sized weapon sitting in the palm of her hand. "Jillian this is amazing!"
The inventor blushed at her excessive praise and shoved her hands into the pockets of her overalls.
"Well, once I figured out how to miniaturize the reactor technology and insulate it from radiation leaks it was pretty simple. You might not want to keep it on your person for more than…an hour though…just to be safe."
Erin made a panicked face and hurriedly set the gift back atop the table. Holtzmann promptly picked it up again and held it between her fingers.
"Want to know the best part?"
Erin nodded and watched intently as Holtzmann slowly opened each of the Swiss Army knife's many compartments, revealing the full spread.
"You mean it's completely functional? You made me a miniature reverse polarity vortex creator within a functional Swiss Army knife? Holtzmann…that's…"
"Genius? Insane?" she offered, but upon receiving only silence from Erin tried, "Highly practical?"
"I was going to say impressive, but don't you think it's a bit…?"
Holtzmann waited expectantly but Erin couldn't bring herself to say she thought it was a bit much. Not when Holtzmann had that bright look in her eyes, the one she got when people had the chance to see and try her inventions for the first time.
Instead Erin smiled and gave a shrug, "Nevermind." Taking up the knife, she closed up the many tool arms and then clutched it in her hand.
"Thank you. This might be the most impressively bad-ass birthday present I've ever received."
"All right!" Holtzmann gave a cheer and slapped Erin's hand with a jubilant high five. Erin's serious demeanor cracked for the second time that day and she managed a laugh.
"See? I told you it wasn't that bad," Abby said, coming up behind them.
Erin gave Abby a sincere smile and then turned her gaze to Holtzmann who looked so positively pleased with herself that she couldn't help but chuckle. "You know, you're right. This birthday's turned out to be pretty great, actually."
"It's not over yet," Holtzmann reminded her with a waggle of her brows. "What do you say? Wanna take some new toys I just finished for a totally unsafe test run out back?"
"Can we try the 'Secret Weapon'?" Erin asked eagerly.
"Ummm…." Holtzmann hesitated and looked about her workshop as if considering the wide array of safety and ethical concerns that went along with allowing anyone to test the 'Secret Weapon' before it was fully ready.
Erin folded her hands together and pleaded, "Come on, please?"
Holtzmann pretended to think it over for another few seconds before giving in, "Oh all right. We can try the 'Secret Weapon'."
Erin cheered and gave an excited "Yesssss!" before running from the workshop. "I've gotta change clothes!" she called back over her shoulder. "I'll meet you down there!"
Abby and Holtzmann watched her retreat and waited until the bathroom door had slammed shut.
Abby gave an impressed nod, "Nice work, Holtzmann!"
"So long birthday blues," she agreed, looking pleased by the success of their mission.
Moving about her workshop with a bit more swagger than she'd had before, Holtzmann grabbed up a collection of new toys for Erin to try. As she passed Abby on her way to the Fire Exit door they exchanged a victorious high five. Mission accomplished.