I give you this gift on my 40th birthday, because I need to celebrate with some yummy m/m love. What better way to do that than for me to share.
I originally wrote this two years ago for the first Slash Backslash contest, but then the story just sat alone on my computer. Well, it collects dust no more. I've recently rewritten it but didn't have time to get this version through a beta. So if you find errors, please PM me so I can fix them.
Also, thank you for all the kind birthday wishes today. You guys are great.
The Recruiter
by PolkaDotMama
I headed to the bathroom during Advanced Biology because I just had to get away for a few minutes. It wasn't the lab we had been doing, or the monotony of my senior year that drove me here. It was my aching cock. Relief was needed, and badly.
Closing the stall door behind me, I leaned my hand against the wall and quickly got down to business. This was going to be quick; no elaborate fantasies, no time for teasing touches, so I squeezed my cock hard, stroking it roughly, while picturing only a face.
Pale skin, straight nose, raspberry colored lips. A light dusting of stubble spread across his chin and jaw. His hair. Ungh! His fucking hair. Messy and sexy as fuck, a mix of brown and red, like a copper pot that was just polished. It swept across his forehead that day, a few strands falling over his eyebrows, his seedling green eyes watching me as I sat down at our lab table, and he winked.
He had fucking winked!
Faster than I expected, I reached my peak, aiming my load into the toilet, and as my body slowly recovered, my eyes rested on my hand still pressed against the cool tile. That's when I saw the words that would change my life, faintly scribbled in pencil on the glossy, light blue tile, framed between my thumb and index finger.
The Recruiter
Text Only
999-1234
I had heard of the guy. Apparently, you could contact him if you were curious about exploring your sexuality. There were rumors that he tried to lure straight boys to play for the other team. I never saw it that way. If anything, he was providing a service, allowing guys to explore something about themselves that they might not have completely understood.
Just to be clear, I'd had a serious girlfriend in the past; Alice and I were together for nearly two years. When I moved to town as a sophomore, she befriended me. One night when she was over at my place watching a movie, she straddled me and started tickling my ribs. She was relentless, and I was powerless to her nimble fingers, even though she only weighed about a hundred pounds. Quite quickly, one thing led to another, and we soon found ourselves panting with damp lips on heated skin. Even though we had been together since that night, chastity had been our thing because she wanted to wait until she was married to have sex, which was fine. Kissing and getting blowjobs worked for me, but I never ventured below her waist with anything other than my hands. We had rounded third base, but I was never in a rush to get home.
Which brings me to the reason why The Recruiter peaked my curiosity. I wasn't sure that I was into girls, and since I'd never had sex, I didn't really know if I liked sex with women. Hell, maybe I wouldn't like sex with men either. I just didn't know, but at eighteen, you'd think I'd have an idea.
As hard as it had been to break up with the person I had been closest to over the last two years, it became something I knew I needed to do the moment I had realized I was never aroused unless she was touching me, and on top of that, I recently needed to close my eyes, imagining her hands were another's. Just looking at her had never affected my body.
Not like in biology when Edward had winked at me. I was immediately, painfully hard, and after trying for ten minutes to coax my cock into submission, I ended up in the bathroom, leaning against the wall with my hand next to The Recruiter's number.
Would I want to explore my curiosity with a stranger? Was I ready to find out if I was gay?
Recruiter? I'd like to meet.
I sent him a text during lunch, figuring I had better get it over with before I chickened out. As curious as I was, I was also scared as hell. I didn't have to wait long for a reply.
Do you know what I do?
I didn't think it was a secret, but maybe this was his way of screening. Who knew?
I'm curious. Don't think I'm straight. Never been with a guy.
Rather than stare at my phone, I pocketed it and attempted to concentrate on the tripe they tried to pass off as food. A few minutes later my phone vibrated again.
Saturday 2
112 Baker St. Apt. 3
come alone. Knock 3 times & enter
undress & lay face down on table
Do NOT make eye contact with me
Okay … so he had a protocol. No eye contact. Mysterious. I was even more curious now, and I only had to wait … twenty-five more hours.
I woke up Saturday startled, having just dreamed of being tied up and beaten. I was sure it was my nerves about my upcoming meeting with The Recruiter, and knowing that I was putting myself in danger's way just so I could see if I preferred men.
Why couldn't I do it the normal way? Hit on a guy that I knew was gay, meet behind the music building and jerk each other off. No, leave it to Jasper Whitlock to find the most dangerous way to explore his desires, but the danger was part of what appealed to me. That, and the fact that if it turned out I wasn't into guys, no one would be the wiser. This guy was a professional, right? Right?
That's when I felt I had to get a few more answers. I needed to know he wasn't some serial killer or AIDS terrorist. I didn't know anyone who had been to see this man–Forks was a small town and I doubted his services were used that often–but I still had to know if I was going to be harmed. I decided to text him and ask some more questions, even if I risked him canceling.
I'm a bit nervous.
Any STD's? I'm a virgin. Condoms required.
Are you going to hurt me?
My stomach growled so I jumped out of bed, grabbed a granola bar from atop my dresser, and made my way to the shower. When I got out and was drying off, I saw my phone blinking. I rushed over to the bedside table and clicked on the new text message, positive I'd be finding something else to do that afternoon.
I'm clean. Get tested every 6 m. Haven't been with anyone for 8 m.
Yes, condoms.
I will be gentle. Nerves are normal.
Of course, he could he lying, but for some reason my need for self-discovery was worth taking a few risks. This was Forks and I knew every person in this town, or at least knew of them. No one was dangerous.
At 1:55, I pulled my motorcycle up to 112 Baker Street with shaky hands and a stomach tied in knots. Why was I doing this again? God, this was a stupid thing to do.
Then I remembered his face, his beautiful face. Edward Masen had taken over my thoughts, and there were few things I could do without thinking of him. Before breaking up with Alice, Edward's face had crept into my thoughts when I kissed her, and I yearned for her lips to be his.
I had only "gotten to know" Edward a few months prior, having never had classes together before our senior year. He transferred to town as a freshman, long after cliques were formed and solidly established. It was hard to get in with any group, unless you were a jock. That he wasn't. He was in advanced placement classes–everything the school district had to offer, in fact–until he was forced to take general ed classes again.
He didn't have many friends, keeping to himself, and rarely spoke, apart from the labs he mumbled through. Often coming to class brooding about something, he was quiet, burying his nose in his journal and scratching his pen on the paper until class began. While he paid attention to the lecture, taking notes in a spiral bound notebook, he also wrote throughout class in his leather bound book; poetry, short stories, or some other shit, I guessed. It was far from obvious he was intelligent, because he could be writing in his journal, listening to Mr. Banner, and working on a lab, all at the same time.
Just thinking about Edward as I sat parked in the street gave me the courage to get off my bike and head toward the house. Baker Street wasn't in the best neighborhood, and the dark brown, three-story Victorian with peeling paint and loose clapboards was obviously past its prime. I made my way up the front porch where I saw a sign telling me to go around back to get to apartment three. At the back of the house, I found an old wooden staircase with a door at the top, a large, gold number three nailed next to it.
With each step I took, I fought with myself, alternating my thoughts. My left foot hit the rickety stair and I was fully committed to this experience, but the moment my right foot came down I was ready to flee. Yet my feet kept moving. Before I knew it, I was standing on a small landing, my feet resting on a colorful welcome mat.
This was crazy! Why not just approach Edward? He had winked, for God sake. Didn't that mean something? But what if it didn't? What if I built up the nerve to talk to him, kiss him, or touch him, only to be hit and kicked and stomped on? Rumors flying. I didn't think finding out about myself was quite worth that. This wasn't about Edward. This was about me, and seeing if I responded to a man in a different way than I did Alice.
Tentatively, I reached out and knocked three times as instructed before I put my hand on the brass knob and turned. The metal hinges squeaked as the door swung open. I walked in and shut the door behind me, taking deep breaths to steady my nerves.
The room was fairly dark, with only the dim sunlight coming in through a small window beside the door. After allowing myself a few moments for my eyes to adjust, I realized that I was standing in a sparse living room. In the middle of the room, stood a long table with a white, cotton sheet draped over it. I walked to the center of the room and started to undress, as instructed.
One other small cabinet, about waist height sat near a wall with various bottles lined up on the top. I saw different kinds of lube (flavored and unflavored), toys, massage oil, and a box of condoms. My stomach dropped to the floor at the sight before me, and while I thought I knew what I was getting into when I contacted The Recruiter, the visual evidence in front of me made that realization a bit freaky and suddenly very, very real.
When I heard my belt buckle jingle, I realized that I had stopped undressing and quickly resumed, wanting to follow his instructions exactly. He told me them for a reason, even if I didn't fully understand.
Crawling up onto the sheet-covered table, I quickly realized that it was a massage table so I lay face down, resting my forehead on the crescent pad. I felt heat radiate up from the table, warming me and calming my nerves.
To my left, I heard a door open and the rustling of fabric as a wave of fear ran through me from head to toe. I kept my face down. No eye contact. He had been very explicit on this.
"You followed my directions perfectly," his velvety voice sang, praising me. He stepped closer and I listened to the quiet shuffle of his soles against the carpet. "I want you to relax, so we are going to start off with a massage today. Have you ever had a massage?"
"Uhm…no." My voice was so soft, I barely heard myself speaking.
"What's your name?" he asked. I wasn't sure I wanted him to know. He must have sensed my hesitation, so he soothed me by saying, "You don't have to tell me your real name. Why don't you choose a name for me to call you? Or if you'd like, I can pick one."
I didn't know what to say, my mind blank. "Why … why d…d…don't you choose," I stuttered.
He ran his fingers through my hair, causing me to jump slightly. "Shhhh. Just relax. I'm not going to hurt you." He continued to stroke my locks, and I felt myself calm. "Your hair is so soft. Your blonde curls remind me of an angel's." I felt his breath run along my neck and he whispered, "I'll call you Angel. It's very fitting, especially with the sight of your heavenly backside." He ran his hands down my back and over my ass.
"What should I call you?" I asked, not sure if I had a right to call him anything beyond The Recruiter.
"You can call me T." His voice was confident, deep, yet he sounded young. "Do you have any questions before I begin?"
I had a ton, but had no idea how to ask them. I wanted to know who this man was, why he did this, and how he was going to proceed, but I kept my mouth shut as I heard him move to the table and squeeze some liquid in his palm, rubbing his hands together, spreading it.
Peering into the hole of the head cradle, I saw his bare feet. They were nice feet, pale and pretty, if you could say that about a man's feet. He didn't appear to be wearing any pants, but I wasn't about to lift my head to confirm.
I felt his hands on my neck, working down my back in long smooth strokes. They felt like large hands, strong, warm, and supple. Working my muscles, he found knots and gently kneaded them, soothing the tension I had been holding since I had first contacted him. The touch wasn't too deep; just firm enough to relax me. He ran his hands across my shoulders and down my arms, ending at my hands as he worked his thumbs into my palms and gently massaged each finger, pulling each as he went.
Despite the fact that my body was exposed to the room, I didn't feel a chill as he worked his hands down my buttocks and legs, ending at my feet. Time was spent on the soles of my feet before he moved up to my calves and thighs again.
When he massaged where my thighs met up with my buttocks, he slowed his movements. He spent time touching the sensitive skin below the rise of my ass before rounding the fullness of my muscles. With each pass on my ass he moved his hands closer to my center. He gently grabbed each leg and spread them further apart before he continued his teasing ministrations.
As he moved nearer and nearer to my sensitive flesh, my body seemed to melt into the table. Soon he abandoned the rise of my buttocks completely and focused all his attention in the valley. His hand moved up and down, before slowly circling my puckered skin. The closer he got, the more quickly my body responded, opening to him, aching for him to get closer.
I was responding to his touch, my erection growing beneath me. T must have been able to tell I was getting uncomfortable, because he moved to the small table where I heard him open a small door.
"Lift your hips," he said in his smooth, yet youthful voice. As I lifted, he place a rolled up towel beneath me, lifting me just enough so that my cock had some room to grow before he continued the touches I so desperately craved.
He started further away from my sensitive skin and gradually made his way closer with soothing circles. I was lost in the feeling of his hands on me, easily relaxing for him. A moan escaped my lips and my breathing started to increase as his fingers finally touched me where I ached.
"That's right, Angel. Don't hold back. If it feels good, I want to know," he encouraged me.
"It…feels…so…good. Please, don't stop," I begged.
My back arched as I tried to open myself up further, when I felt something warm and wet slide up and around my skin. Barely hanging on, my body gave into the feeling and a feral growl escaped my chest.
"Do you like that, Angel?"
I moaned, unable to form words. "Do you like it when I lick your asshole?"
My hips started to move, and I was having a hard time keeping them in contact with the table. I wanted to push back and get on all fours so he could lick me deeper.
"Patience, Angel. We're just starting." He pulled his hands and mouth away from me, and I saw his feet below my face, once again. "I need you to put on a blindfold. Will you do that for me?" I hesitated. "I want you to wear it so that you can give your body over to sensation. I want you to lose yourself in my touch."
I nodded and felt him place a soft, satiny mask over my eyes, securing it in place with ties.
"Now, turn over on your back, Angel," he said in a gentle voice, helping support me as I rolled, my cock standing at full attention. Wrapping his hands around my erection, he gently stroked it with his oil-covered hand. "Well, it's nice to see I have an affect on you. Does this start to answer some of your questions?"
"Y…yes," I whispered before clearing my throat and trying to speak again. "With my ex-girlfriend I could only get hard if she was touching me. This is different."
"I'm glad to hear that. Your straining cock makes me happy. I can't wait to put it in my mouth." I could hear the smile in his voice and feel the anticipation in my body. "Right now I'm going to continue touching you, and I want you to let me know if you like it, Angel."
Ever so lightly, he ghosted his hands down my arms, running his thumbs along the inside of my elbow, causing me to moan. He spent several minutes touching my over-heated skin before moving back to my chest, easing the tension. I gave into the sensations and sighed in contentment.
I felt his mouth on my right nipple, licking, sucking, and lightly biting me and couldn't keep from groaning and arching into his mouth. "Mmmm. That feels good, doesn't it?" he asked. As he leaned his body across mine, teasing and tasting my other nipple, I felt his hard, naked cock rub against my bicep. When I felt his silky smooth skin brush against me, my right hand reached for him. I wanted to hold him.
"Not yet, Angel," he chided before moving away from me. Continuing lower, he massaged from my thighs to my feet and back up before settling at my center, standing next to my hip. His hands stroked my length and my balls as I groaned. I spread my legs further to give him more room, he took advantage of the added space, stroking down my perineum to the most intimate place my body had to offer, a place that I never knew craved touch before that day.
My head was thrown back and sounds of ecstasy were elicited from my mouth. I didn't hold back; I didn't want to. I gave in to the feelings, just as he asked me to.
Wet and hot, his mouth surrounded my aching cock, and I felt his tongue slide across my head, teasing my frenulum for a moment before rounding under the head. "Fuck! Oh God, T." He took all of me into his mouth, and I felt his hot breath wash across my hip. My back arched off the table as I felt his lubed finger push into my eager body. I growled as his lips slid up and down my over-stimulated cock. Just when I didn't think I could take it anymore, he pulled away.
I could barely breathe, lying there on the flat table panting, whimpering. "Please, T. Please, I want you," I begged.
He brought his mouth to my ear and whispered, "You will have me, but you must be patient. You are here to answer questions about your sexuality, is that correct?" I whimpered yes. "Well, we've established you liked to be touched by me, by a man. That answers only half your questions. You want to know more, don't you Angel?" I nodded. "Tell me what you want to know?"
"I want to know what it feels like to kiss you. I want to touch your body and taste your cock. I want to fuck you, and to be fucked. I want it all." My words rushed from me with such intensity that I could feel it in my gut, my desire for this man was bubbling up, and I didn't even know who he was.
"Good. I'm glad to hear that. Now," he hesitated, sounding a bit disappointed, "as much as I would like to grant you all your desires today, I think we'll have to schedule another meeting time." I let out a dejected sigh. "I know. I'm disappointed too, but we have enough time for you to suck my cock. Do you want to taste me, Angel?"
"Yes, T, please let me taste you," I begged, feeling absolutely no shame in expressing my desires.
I felt his strong hands pulling my shoulder forward, helping me sit on the table before he spoke in an authoritative voice. "Now, come with me to my bed. Keep your mask on. I'll help lead you there."
My feet found the floor and I reached out blindly for his hand as he wrapped an arm around my waist, leading me in the direction for which I had first heard his movements. Easily, he led me and soon I felt him turning by body, the edge of the bed evident behind my knees. Sitting, I brought myself to what I estimated was the center of the bed, feeling around in my blinded state and recognizing a down comforter near my feet and soft flannel sheets below me. I felt the bed ease down as he lay next to me. He pushed me to my back and leaned over me.
Hot, sweet breath brushed next to my ear as he spoke, "You are beautiful, did you know that?" I shook my head. "Your body calls to me. Your mouth…mmmm…your lips. Your wide mouth and your full lips just beg to be kissed."
His warm, wet tongue brushed along my mouth and my lips instinctually parted. Eagerly he accepted my invitation and crushed his mouth to mine, his tongue searching for the velvety texture of my own. Pulling up, he pressed his body into mine giving our mouths a better way to connect as well as the skin from our shoulders to our hips. He created a rhythm, a dance with our mouths that I tried to follow while he tasted every part of me, plunging his tongue deep inside my mouth.
I had to pull back from him to catch my breath. Never had I been kissed with such passion and force. But I didn't want to stop so I grabbed his head and pulled him back to me, my fingers entangled in his soft hair. I drew my fingers along it, trying to determine the length. It was longer than I expected, probably five or six inches long, and I relished in the exquisite feel of his silky strands between my fingers. I pulled and tugged at his locks, eliciting a hiss from him as his hips thrust into mine.
Questions were certainly being answered. I had never been more aroused in my life, feeling things happening in my body that were new and exciting. Every sense except my sight was being used. I could smell his subtle scent, seemingly working as a drug on me as all inhibition was lost. The feel of his stubble on my lips made me want to feel that roughness rubbed along my neck, my chest, and down my stomach. Every sound that he made, from his increased breathing to his vocalizations, washed over me, helping me lose the last shred of insecurity. Instinct took over as I rolled him onto his back and kissed down his chest. I wanted to taste him. I needed to taste him.
Taking his nipple into my mouth, licking and sucking it, my tongue circled around his pebbled flesh, bringing him as much pleasure as it was bringing me. I inhaled his scent, stronger now that I had my nose buried in his skin. My lips made their way down to his navel, tracing around his perfection and kissing his skin, causing him to arch into me. Closer. I felt his coarse, curly hair on my lips and used it to help me find my way to my destination.
Finally my lips met soft, satiny skin, tautly pulled over hard, straining muscle. Nosing along his length, I smelled his matchless scent, stronger here, and it made my mouth actually water.
Wrapping my fingers around his cock, I kissed his head before opening my mouth and drawing my swollen lips around him. He felt so soft, yet so hard, in my mouth, as my tongue moved on its own, exploring his long length, dipping into his slit, licking around his head, and traveling up and down the underside of his thick cock. I felt like I was discovering a new treasure, and I wanted to understand its mysteries.
Tightening my lips around him, I gently started to suck up and down him as his fingers buried in the waves of my hair. His hips gently rocked, pushing him further into my mouth while I held the base of his cock with my hand, stroking him with smooth motions.
My tongue wanted more of him so I moved lower and tasted the delicately textured skin of his balls. His hands slipped from my hair, and I heard his groans above me as I drew his balls into my mouth and gently sucked on the heavy orbs, my tongue dancing across responsive flesh. "Fuck, Angel! Is this your first time?" he asked, with incredulity. I hummed my positive response around him and smiled. "You're a natural."
T's breathing increased, becoming erratic, and he fisted my hair while uncontrolled vocalizations left his mouth. "So good. Don't fucking stop. I need you," slipped out between groans and growls, and I knew he was just as lost in the moment as I was.
After many minutes, I sensed his body shift around me and since I was still blinded by my mask, I reached out to find where he had gone, hoping he hadn't left. Now lying on his stomach, tempting me, I grabbed his cheeks, tasting and licking him in his warm cleft. The feel of his skin was addictive and the sounds he made were driving me mad.
"T, can I fuck you? Please," I begged, "let me fuck you."
"Angel, you have to fuck me. There's no way I can let you go," he barely made out between ragged breaths.
I heard him rummage around near the bed and soon felt him place a condom in my hand. Opening it, I tried to roll it on blindly, but he saw I was struggling and helped me.
"Have you ever done this with a woman before, Angel?" I shook my head before I felt the back of his hand travel down my jaw. Then I felt something cold and wet on my fingers and a chill on my sheathed cock. Lube. He rubbed the lube on my cock, spending a few more moments than was necessary, bring me pleasure once again.
Reaching blindly I grabbed his ass and felt for him. He was on all fours, offering himself to me while I slowly penetrated him, gently sliding my finger into his tight ass. The sensation of his smooth, hot body made my dick pulse with anticipation, and after he adjusted around me, I added a second finger.
"I'm ready for you. I can't wait any longer." His voice had lost all its calm, velvety cool and betrayed his intense desire.
Using my hands to orient myself, I found where I needed to be and slowly pressed my swollen head against him. Moving forward I felt myself slip past his muscular ring as he relaxed further. I had to stop before I blew my load, taking a deep breath before pushing forward again, wrapping him around me.
"Fuck! Oh my God, T!" I panted into the warm skin of his back. "So amazing."
"Just go slow, Angel," he encouraged me.
Pulling back, some control returned to me, then his hips pushed back, and I started a slow, steady rhythm. This felt better than anything I had ever imagined and the primal sounds my voice released were unbound.
I laid my body across his back and the heat rolling off his skin was like a magnet, pulling me closer, encouraging me to rub my chest against his back. Pushing as deeply into him as I could, I started to lose myself in the feeling of his hot, smooth body and had to sit back up, pounding my hips into his. Skin slapping skin, the sounds of our bodies meeting, and the guttural noises spilling from our mouths became a cacophony that filled the room.
"You're doing so good, Angel," T barely got out. "Fuck me." I felt his arm moving and realized he was stroking himself.
"Oh, fuck!" I breathed as I felt my stomach tighten. Trying to hold off so that T would cum, I thought of anything I could think of to distract me from what my body was experiencing. I ran my fingers gently up and down his muscular back as I continued pumping in and out of his tight body.
"Fuuuccckkk!" he shouted as his muscles spasmed and clenched around my throbbing cock, pulling me over the edge. My cock pulsed inside of him, releasing my cum in short bursts each time I thrust my hips into him. Just when I thought it was over, my body would shudder and another round of delight seemed to take hold of my cock as he milked every drop from me with the gripping muscles of his tight hole.
Our breathing was labored and erratic, and my body was covered in a thin layer of sweat. Resting my hand in the middle of his chest, I felt his heart beating mightily beneath my fingers, seeming to resist the slowing that should have naturally happened. Still unable to see, I ached when he pulled his tightness off of my sensitive dick, longing to be back inside of him already. Slipping from my arms, I felt him remove the condom from my softening flesh and leave the bed, abandoning me as I was flooded with feelings I didn't understand.
It's over. I don't want it to be.
He led me back out of the room and helped me sit on the massage table, taking a seat beside me. I moved to shift the mask I was wearing but felt his hand cover it, keeping me from adjusting or removing it.
"Did you get all of your questions answered?" his velvet voice purred.
I was quiet for many beats, not wanting to break the mood by speaking. The moment I did, our experience would be over. Finally, "Uh…not all…but most, I guess," I admitted, hoping against hope that I could come back again.
"What else do you want to know?"
"I want to know if I like to…" I didn't know what to say or how to say things. "I want to take it…and see if I like it, like you did."
"You want to bottom? Is that what you're saying?"
"Yeah, I guess," not really knowing if that's what I meant, but it seemed like the right term.
"I'm around next Saturday. Does that work for you at the same time?" he asked, his smooth voice taking on a business-like quality, definitely ending the intimate feeling of the afternoon. I nodded and he stood to leave. "When you hear my bedroom door close and lock, you can remove your blindfold. Get dressed immediately and leave. Don't tell anyone about this. I don't do this anymore. I made an exception for you, but I no longer do this. You're my last client. Where ever you found my information, please destroy it," he said and quickly exited the room, closing and locking the door behind him.
I removed the mask and allowed my eyes to focus for a few seconds and get readjusted to the light before reaching for my clothes and quickly getting dressed. As I hastily left the apartment, I tripped over the welcome mat before I rushed down the stairs as fast as I could. Climbing on my motorcycle, I rode away, gunning the engine and trying to outrun the fear that had suddenly washed over my body as he left me sitting there on that table. When I reached my house, I walked to the back yard and sat on a large boulder that overlooked a small river, allowing myself to be mesmerized by the eddies and whirlpools the rushing water created. The current was loud in my ears, but it couldn't drown out the thoughts in my head.
Nothing I had ever experienced compared to the last hour, and it wasn't because I was afraid. My body responded to him, to his voice, to his naked skin, fuck, even to his feet. I was obviously gay. There wasn't one moment I could think of where Alice, or any other woman, had made me feel the way that T did. I wanted to get back on my bike at that moment and go back and find him and tell him. But he wasn't the one I wanted.
I wanted Edward and his green eyes and his bronze hair.
I wanted his quiet mumbling and his cryptic journal.
I wanted his strange intelligence and his beautiful smile.
I spent the rest of the weekend in my bedroom listening to every kind of music imaginable and thinking about how T had made my body feel. For some reason, I felt like everything was going to change, yet I didn't feel that much different. I felt like the same old Jasper, maybe a bit happier, but the huge shift I expected didn't come.
Edward dominated all other thoughts as I fantasized about his body writhing underneath mine. How I wanted to taste him and see what he smelled like. My mouth watered at the mere thought.
When Monday morning arrived, I dragged myself out of bed and headed to the local coffeehouse to get me a little wake-me-up. As I walked to the counter, I noticed Edward standing there, ordering.
His voice was soft and unassuming, but the effect he was having in my pants was anything but. I shifted uncomfortably, trying to adjust myself without reaching for my fly, but I found it was impossible so I shoved my hand in my pocket and moved my dick to a more comfortable position. When I looked back up, I saw Edward's eyes focused right on my crotch and a deep shade of red coloring his neck, cheeks and ears. Mumbling something I didn't understand, he dashed out the door, but I remained, embarrassed at being caught adjusting myself. Finally understanding that men turned me on, I figured I had better get used to being hard around Edward.
School that week was fairly normal except for biology. After our run-in at the coffee house, Edward seemed to avoid eye contact as we worked at our lab table, but I would occasionally catch him looking out of the corner of his eye at my pants, which often were straining against my erection. He looked intrigued so on Wednesday when he looked, I decided to be brave and scooted my chair back, turning my body toward him, basically inviting him to look. Keeping my eyes on Mr. Banner, I saw Edward lean back in his chair and unabashedly stare at the bulge in my pants. Every so often, his wet tongue would dart out of his mouth and he would lick his lips. It was then that I realized that he was totally into me, and I hadn't misinterpreted his wink last week at all.
On Thursday we had a simple lab that Edward and I had easily finished which left us with twenty minutes to do nothing. Our classmates were busy with their work, so the fact that we were done went unnoticed, and we fell into our new ritual of Edward looking at my aching cock while I allowed him the best view possible.
It was on that day that I decided to catch him in the act, if I could. When I noticed his eyes glaze over and his tongue slide across his top lip, I turned my head, ever so slightly, and looked him right in the eye, waiting until he noticed me. His face bloomed red when he caught my gaze, but before he could look away, I gave him my biggest smile and winked at him. As quick as he could, he looked away and reached into his bag to retrieve his journal. When he leaned forward to bury his nose in it, I placed my hand on the book and closed it, pushing it to the edge of the table. He looked at me, and I decided I would speak to him. It was now or never and I was feeling confident that my instincts were right.
"It's okay, Edward," I leaned forward and whispered so only he could hear. "I don't mind that you like to look. In fact, I'm glad you do. You're the reason I'm hard everyday." His eyes met mine and small smile spread across his raspberry colored lips causing my gaze to drop to his full mouth. Just then, the bell rang and he escaped from the room as if it were on fire.
The next day I wore my tightest jeans. They were well worn and every line of my cock could be seen through the faded denim. I rarely wore those jeans because they were a bit…inappropriate for school, but they were comfortable and perfect for our new biology ritual.
Edward was already in his seat at our lab table when I arrived in biology, and as I walked toward the back of the room, our eyes met. His gaze immediately dropped to my jeans and a hungry look of desire washed over him. I smiled as I sauntered to my chair and relaxed into it, opening my legs up to him. He didn't even try to hide the fact that he was looking at me, slightly turning his chair toward me and blatantly running his eyes over not only my cock, but also over my chest and shoulders and arms. I loved the attention that he was giving me, and as class started and I realized it was a lecture day, I returned the gesture, allowing my eyes to travel across the expanse of his body.
Our eyes met and locked on each other. The shy, unassuming boy that I had sat next to all year was gone, vanished. In his place was a confident young man, someone who had no issues or wariness in letting me know that he wanted me. We stared at each other the entire hour, taking turns tracing the lines we wished our hands could be touching.
No words were spoken. None were needed. We knew what was being said, and with about five minutes left before class was out, we reached for each other at the exact same moment, warm hands meeting under the table. When the bell rang and his hand slipped from mine, it felt empty and cold, like it was missing something essential. For the rest of the day, I walked around feeling both hollow, and yet completely filled up.
I woke Saturday morning from a fitful sleep, not knowing if I should cancel my appointment with The Recruiter or not. It wasn't like Edward and I had really even spoken about us, let alone spoken. So he liked to look at my cock. That didn't translate into, "Hey, I wanna fuck you." Besides, I was most likely the first guy that he'd even touched, and that was hand holding. I wanted to be fucked, craved it, in fact. I also wanted to see The Recruiter again to feel the other things he made me feel … the excitement and sense of surrender. On top of that, I still had questions about myself. I had to go.
At two o'clock sharp, I knocked on the door three times and walked in. I removed my shoes by the door and quickly undressed in the dim living room, noticing that the small tabletop was nearly empty aside from condoms and lube. Without any hesitation this time, I lay on my stomach and rested my face in the crescent pillow.
The bedroom door opened and immediately I felt myself start to thicken, the anticipation of his touch buzzing through my body. I heard the soft padding of his feet on the carpet again as he neared the table and sighed when he ran his fingers from my calf to round the curve of my buttocks.
"I see you came back, Angel," his smooth voice purred, causing me to swallow loudly. "I didn't know if you had it in you, but I have to admit, I'm very glad you did. I've been thinking about you all week. There hasn't been a day that I haven't thought about your beautiful lips wrapped around my aching cock." His fingers played with the curls on my head while he placed intimate kisses along my neck and shoulders and moved to the head of the table. Noticing his feet were bare again, I was positive that he was naked this time and I studied the light brown hair that covered his legs, wanting desperately to feel the texture of it on my tongue.
"Today, I am going to fuck you. Are you ready for that?" I nodded my head, unable to find my voice quite yet, which he immediately noticed. "You're awfully quiet today. Are you nervous?"
I shook my head, trying to speak. After clearing my throat, I was finally able to croak out, "No, T. I'm not nervous. I'm excited. I can't wait to feel you inside of me. I've been wanting it all week," I admitted, surprised by my honesty.
"Well, if you aren't nervous, why don't we get right to it, hmmm?"
The scraping of wood on wood told me he was opening the cabinet to my right, and within moments, I felt him slipping the silky mask over my eyes and tying it, once again. He guided me to sit before he led to his bedroom, helping me get situated on the bed, lying on my back.
Light kisses were laid across my chest and neck, and I offered myself freely to him, hoping he'd make me feel as magnificent as he had last week. His full weight was pressed into my body, and I delighted in knowing I would soon feel him deep in me, bringing me to places I had never been. As his mouth met mine, I tasted him and lost myself in the feel of his tongue on mine.
Green eyes flashed behind my closed eyes, and I reached out, caressing his smooth back, trailing my fingers down to cup his ass, drawing his hips firmly into mine. Our cocks rubbed against each other's, and I pulled him near again before bronze hair appeared in my visions. T's tongue delved further in my mouth as he reached for my hands, placing them above my head. The warm heat took me back to the moments I held the hand of Edward, falling into his eyes and then feeling empty the moment he pulled away. That same emptiness was hollowing out my gut.
All I could think of was Edward. I wanted this to be him above me, making me feel these things and eliciting the sounds that my body couldn't contain. I wanted to give myself to him and only him.
"Stop," I cried, pushing him off of me and wrapping my arms around my folded knees. He quickly backed away, sensing my panic.
"What is it Angel?" he asked with great concern in his velvet voice.
"I just can't do this, T. I want you to be someone else. This should be happening with him, not you. I don't know who you are, and I already know...I know I'm gay, so why am I here?" With each utterance, I became more aware of how badly I wanted to leave, and as I started to move off the bed, I felt his hand on my back, safely leading me back to the living room.
"You go and find him Angel. Go and tell him how you feel," he choked out and as I turned to reach for him I heard his bedroom door shut and lock, signaling my permission to remove my mask, which I threw to the ground.
Before I knew it I was dressed and escaping on my motorcycle, trying to find the one person that I wanted. When I drove up to the Masen house, I wondered what Edward would think if I just dropped in on him, but I had to. There was no way I could wait until Monday to talk to him.
The musical doorbell chimed and I stood on the stone steps, contemplating leaving when a petite woman with caramel colored hair opened the door. I stammered a hello and asked if Edward was home.
"No, I'm sorry. He's gone for the weekend. Can I tell him who stopped by?" she asked in a pleasant voice.
Just the guy your son eye fucks in biology. Only the guy your son held hands with in class. The guy who is falling hard for your son.
"I'll see him in school on Monday," was all I could say before I left feeling dejected and made my way home.
The rest of the weekend I killed anything I could on my X-Box, spending most of the time playing Assassin's Creed, mixing in a little Halo when I got bored.
Nothing really helped the feeling I had, the sense that I had betrayed Edward. We had hardly spoken of anything outside of biology, yet I felt connected to him somehow. The way he looked into my eyes told me so much. He understood me, and he didn't judge me.
When I walked into class on Monday, I sat down at our empty table and waited for him to arrive. When the second bell rang and he still hadn't come, I became curious. He was never late. Five minutes in, he stumbled into class, tripping over a book bag as he walked down the aisle, but I reached out and caught him, grabbing him around the waist. His low 'thank you' was mumbled as he quickly took his seat, and the laughter in the room slowly died down.
Something had changed. Edward didn't look at me at all. Perhaps he was embarrassed about tripping or maybe he was having a bad day, but he refused to make eye contact. The confidence I had glimpsed on Friday had all but disappeared, making me wonder if I had ever really seen it. It wasn't until we had a small lab to do together that he finally said a few words, but he only said what was necessary to complete the assignment.
I started to question everything that had happened the prior week. Had I misread things? Did I see more than was really there? With ten minutes left of class, I turned to him and tried to make eye contact, but he still refused to look at me.
"Edward, I stopped by your house this weekend." I thought I'd try to engage him in conversation, but he only blushed and turned his face away from me. "I wanted to talk to you about something, about us," I whispered as I leaned toward him.
His head shot in my direction and his eyes seemed intense … angry. Smiling, I tried to ease him, but with little success.
"Hey, I don't know what I did, but I think we should go somewhere and talk," I said looking around the room. "Somewhere more private. How about the coffeehouse after school?" He remained silent, neither giving me a sign that he heard nor an answer to my question. The last minutes of class his nose was buried in his leather journal, writing at a furious pace. I seemed to float through the rest of the school day, confused by what had just happened, my stomach twisted in curious knots.
At the coffeehouse, I found a private seat in the back of the long room and faced the door, awaiting his arrival. When he didn't show, I wasn't surprised.
I barely slept that night, tossing and turning, thinking about how I felt about Edward, how he made me feel about myself. I felt compelled to say something. Perhaps it was because it was the end of high school and I would never see him again, but I had to make it known that he affected me so.
Rather than trying to talk to him during class, I followed him after the bell rang, toward the lunchroom, and as soon as I caught up to him, I gently grabbed his arm and asked him to come outside with me and talk. He looked around the crowded halls, eyes darting frantically about before he gave a minute nod and headed out the front door. I assumed we would be talking in a private spot near the school building, but he led me into the forest, through the large trees until we came to a small clearing.
When he turned to face me, his eyes were terrifying and I doubted it all; everything I had been so sure about mere moments before. "What do you want from me, Jasper? What kind of game are you playing?"
I was shocked; completely flabbergasted by his questions, having no idea where they came from and as I stepped back, I nearly lost my footing.
"I'm not playing a game, Edward," I treaded lightly. "I wanted to tell you … I needed to let you know…." I took in a large breath and released it from between my lips and closed my eyes. When I opened them again, he was gone, but I sensed him behind me, heat pouring off of him, hands skirting along my body, and then I felt his breath wash across my neck before he placed a soft, wet kiss along my exposed skin. His hands reached for mine and he laced his fingers between mine before he started to push me from behind, effectively leading me toward a tree. As soon as I stood before the moss-covered trunk, he pulled my hands above my head, placing them on the damp.
"What do you want to tell me Jasper?" His voice was low, controlled and soft, barely above a whisper.
Surrendering to him, being pushed against this tree felt so right, and I felt the ever-present doubt being filled by his presence, giving me strength. I started to speak, but he stopped me with a sound, telling me to close my eyes before I spoke. I don't know why I complied, but my eyes slid shut as contentment washed across my body, dripping down my back and running through my soul.
"You, Edward. I want you."
"Really, Jasper? How do you want me?" His breath floated across my neck and my skin responded, sending goose bumps and excitement trailing to my cock, instantly making me hard for him.
"I want to give myself to you. I want to be with you … completely," I admitted, craving honesty, if not for the possibility of what we could be together, then at least to get the burden of this secret off my chest.
The heat of his body warmed me as he continued to press into me, revealing his erection when his hips finally moved forward and he rubbed against my ass. Unable to hold back the groan that left my mouth, my body responded to his movements, hips pushing back toward him, head falling back and lips seeking his. I wasn't disappointed when his hands started to explore my chest and snake their way down my stomach, finally cupping my cock, but my lips only met the scruff of his jaw rather than the soft skin of his lips. Yet the rough feel only made me harder and when I tried to turn around to face him, I was shoved hard into the damp bark and felt his nimble hands quickly unbuckling my belt, sliding my metal button through well worn fabric and unlocking each tooth of my zipper.
"Are you ready for this, Jasper? Do you think you are really ready for this to happen?" he mumbled quietly in my ear.
"Please, Edward," I begged, my voice coming out in a hoarse whisper.
He dropped to his knees behind me as my pants and underwear fell to my ankles, and I felt the wetness of his tongue slip between my heated flesh. His hands roamed over all the places that I wanted him to touch, as if he knew exactly what I desired and how I ached to be touched. My hands remained on the wet tree above my head, but with every taste and touch he gave my body, they slipped lower and lower, my knees giving out, no longer able to hold my weight. Strong arms wrapped around my chest, and I was pulled from the tree, Edward helping me lay down on my back before he removed my shoes, socks, and finished pulling my pants off my trembling legs. Reaching for his jeans, he retrieved a condom and small bottle of lube, quickly sheathing himself in latex and wetting me with silicon.
"Are you sure?" he asked me as he supported my legs, looking like the picture of confidence, though his voice remained unassuming and low. I nodded my head, unable to speak past the lump in my throat that was caused not from fear, but from the anticipation of Edward filling me. "Now, relax," he said as he slipped a finger inside, brushing against my prostate which forced my head to push back into the dirt beneath me and my breath to catch in my throat. I was terrified to look at him, positive I would cum the moment I saw his green eyes looking at me through the fringe of dark lashes on his hooded lids. As he slid another finger in me, his warm mouth enveloped my prick, his tongue running up and down the sensitive ridge underneath my shaft before he sat back on his knees.
Finally, I felt able to look at him, steadied because I knew I wanted everything he so willingly offered me at that moment. When our eyes met, a rush of emotions fell across me, and I reached for his cotton covered chest, placing my hand on top of his heart, sensing the anticipation he felt too as he placed the head of his cock right where I craved it to be. My fingers gripped his shirt, and I pulled him closer to me, silently asking him to continue his penetration of my body, his entry into my heart, and his delving into my soul. Nothing in the world could have forced my eyes to be pulled from his in that moment as I was completely and utterly mesmerized by his gaze and what his body was doing to mine.
I was whole.
Slowly, he pleasured me, bringing me to the brink before he pulled back to allow me a few moments respite before he brought me there again, never looking away or closing his eyes.
Green meeting blue.
Bronze meeting blonde.
Spirit meeting spirit.
And just when my breathing was becoming painful and my toes began to curl from the electricity traveling down my legs in delectable lines, I felt him thrust more deeply, touching all the right spots and falling with me over the precipice of exhilaration I could only ever have experienced with him.
Collapsing across my chest, I heard his breathing quickly become shallower as he started to drift into a euphoric sleep that I reluctantly joined.
I awoke cold and nearly naked several hours later, as the sun was falling closer and closer toward the earth, below the tree line. Peering around the darkening grove, I located and sleepily pulled on my clothes. Edward slept beside me, so I rested my head against his outstretched bicep, my back against his warm chest. He wrapped a strong arm around my waist, and I drifted back to sleep.
I barely stirred when his warmth was pulled from me. The rustling of clothing slipped in and out of my consciousness, and soon I dreamed of the soft skin of his lips, that I so desired on my mouth, pressing against my temple. I was unable to respond, though I tried, movement impossible in my stupor, barely conscious of sounds as haziness took me away from the most perfect moment.
Lying there on the cold earth, I realized that my feet were chilled … and bare. When I opened my eyes, I saw a rectangle of paper, obviously torn from Edward's journal. I hastily unfolded it.
I couldn't wake you. I'll be back in less than an hour with my car to drive you home.
~Edward
Refolding the smooth paper, I noticed elegant script on one side and turned it to read.
Angel